Crime & Punctuation

by Kaitlyn Dunnett

“Did you read the whole thing?” I had my doubts. Neither of Onslow’s fictional alter egos had come to good ends.

  “Enough to believe it has promise.”

  “The first three chapters, then?”

  He nodded.

  “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Onslow, but the rest of the book doesn’t live up to its potential.” I gave him a brief and honest evaluation of the manuscript, finishing up with my conclusion about its chances of success: “It would have to be completely rewritten before any legitimate publisher would touch it.”

  “Let me hire you to do that, then. You’d be—what do you call it—a ghostwriter?”

  “Thank you, but no.” Despite my tight budget, I wasn’t that desperate for money. Besides, I wanted nothing more to do with a man like Greg Onslow. There might not have been grounds to arrest him, but he was a crook all the same.

  “Why not?”

  “I’m not interested in taking on such a long-term, time-consuming project.”

  I had to repeat my refusal several times before I convinced him I was serious. He stalled again at the front door.

  “She was wrong about me, you know.”

  “Tiffany?”

  He nodded. “I do want to restore Lenape Hollow to its former glory. Those downtown businesses will open soon, and so will Wonderful World. It will be the salvation of this community.”

  He sounded so sincere that I almost believed him. Then my normal skepticism returned, along with a vague sense of alarm. How could I trust anything this man said?

  Cindy had remained outside raking leaves the entire time Onslow was inside my house. I was pretty sure this was because she wanted an excuse to keep an eye on my place. She continued to stand guard until Onslow got into his car and drove away.

  “Thanks for your help,” I called to her once he was gone.

  “No problem. Come over for coffee tomorrow morning?”

  “I’d love to.”

  After we set a time, I went back inside, making sure to lock up and set the alarm before I retreated to my second-floor office. I was in a thoughtful frame of mind as I prepared to buckle down and get some work done.

  I looked forward to getting to know Cindy better. I intended to carry through on my resolution to make new friends. There would be more visits to Harriet’s and quality time with Darlene. But if I was truly to become part of this community, I’d have to do more than socialize.

  There was no escape. I would have to find a way to get along with Ronnie North. If Onslow was serious about building his theme park, I’d have to join the campaign to stop him. Only by working together could we hope to keep Wonderful World from “saving” Lenape Hollow.

  A Random Selection from “The Write

  Right Wright’s Language and

  Grammar Tips”

  by

  Mikki Lincoln

  If you peek at the peak of a mountain, your interest in scenic views might be piqued.

  There is a definite difference in meaning between these two sentences: 1. “The man was hanged.” 2. “The man was hung.” The rule in formal English is that hanged refers to executions and hung refers to objects. Therefore a murderer is hanged by the neck until dead but a picture is hung on the wall.

  It is easier to decide whether to use “Mother and I” or “Mother and me” in a sentence if you leave out “Mother” and follow the rule for choosing between I and me. Here’s an example: “I left the book behind but it was returned to me.” Of course, since English is a complex language, there are exceptions. If the pronoun comes after than, as, or but and there is an additional verb implied by the structure of the sentence, then I is used instead of me. For example, “Mary is older than I [am].” Just to confuse the issue, in informal English (conversation), it’s okay to say “Mary is older than me.”

  Unsure when to use who and when to use whom? So are most people. Use who (or in this case, whoever) if it is the subject of the clause: “I respect whoever is elected to that office.” In that case, whoever is the subject of is. Formal writing requires the use whom for all objects, as in “For whom did you vote?” In everyday speech, however, it is okay to use who rather than whom, no matter what its function in the sentence. There is another alternative, too. Formal: “The man whom she admired proved to be a great disappointment.” Informal: “The man who she admired proved to be a great disappointment.” Sneaky: “The man she admired proved to be a great disappointment.”

  “How are you?” someone asks. “I’m good” is the reply. No, actually, you’re well, although you may feel good. Similarly, you might be a good cook and cook good meals, but you cook well.

  “Rein in your enthusiasm for the rain,” said the queen who reigned over the country.

  Use “each other” for two people and “one another” for more than two.

  Further and farther can be used interchangeably when talking about geographic distance, but many writers prefer farther. Further indicates increased quantity, degree, or time. “The ship is farther from shore than we anticipated. Stay tuned for further developments.”

  Acknowledgments

  I have many people to thank for their contributions to this first Deadly Edits mystery. First and foremost are Tiffany and Scotti Smith, who generously allowed me to use their names for my victim. Love you guys.

  When it came to research, I relied in large part on my own memories of growing up in a town similar to Lenape Hollow. My fictional creation is not—repeat not—Liberty, New York. None of the characters are real people from Liberty. Honest. That said, I did make free use of certain floor plans and the arrangement of streets and buildings. My familiarity with the economic situation of towns and villages in Sullivan County, past and present, also came into play in creating the plot. Historian John Conway’s excellent articles on Murder Incorporated were extremely useful in imagining the 1930s.

  For details of police procedure, I am indebted to Kyle Muthig of the Sullivan County Sheriff’s Department for taking the time to answer questions from his mom’s old classmate. Any mistakes in this area are mine alone. I also want to thank Kyle’s mom, Cheryl Sprague Muthig, for being my friend for so many years.

  Other members of the LCHS class of ’65, through conversations at various reunions, posts on the “People Who Come From Liberty, New York” Facebook page, and emails, have provided helpful reminders of the way things used to be. A special thank-you goes to Dolores Thompson Gadshian, who went the extra mile and visited the DMV on Mikki’s behalf and took pictures, and another to Mary Ellison Grabowski, who is still “Mikki’s” neighbor. She and her siblings and I really did play “Birds” and “Monsters” way back when.

  My lifelong friend Jayne Benmosche, although she hails from the rival town of Monticello, also helped jog my memory. I am grateful to retired Maine teacher Susan Vaughan for keeping me current on the subject of diagramming sentences. Barb Goffman provided invaluable assistance by reading the manuscript to make sure Mikki didn’t do anything to make her unconvincing as a “book doctor.” And last, but certainly not least, the incomparable Dina Wilner let me play with her scooter and briefed me on the fine points of getting it into the trunk of a car and maneuvering it in tight quarters.

  Although no characters in Crime & Punctuation are based on anyone real, Tom and Marie O’Day won the right to name Mikki’s neighbors at the charity auction at Malice Domestic 29. Mikki herself got her name from the fact that my parents considered naming me Michelle before settling on Kathy Lynn (Kaitlyn is the name I chose for myself). Mikki has a lot of me in her but she is smarter, stronger, and healthier than I am. Since it takes quite a while to take a novel from concept to print, she also ended up being a bit younger, too. The biggest difference between us is that my very-much-alive husband and I, and our cats, still live on twenty-five tree-studded acres in rural Maine and have no plans to move back to my old hometown in New York State.

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