by K. T. Castle
I probably got a little too comfortable sitting on his lap, but it didn’t seem as if he minded. One of his hands caressed my back while his other still held mine. It felt divine.
“Why would you feel inadequate, Kass?” he asked, interrupting the silence surrounding us. “When have I ever said or done anything to make you feel not enough?”
“Never,” I honestly answered as I remember last night’s conversation with Edward. “It’s all me and my insecurities.”
“I can’t believe that inside all this beautiful exterior,” he said, rubbing his hand over my back and all the other curves of my body, “there’s an inch of insecurity. You always portray yourself as a strong woman, so sure of yourself and everything you are.”
That’s how people usually see me, but the reality was different. I was vulnerable, especially where Josh was involved. “I feel differently when it comes to you. Your opinion matters,” I told him. He needed to hear just how much he meant to me. “It matters the most.”
He dropped my hand and gave me a warm hug. I never wanted to let go of him. We stayed in each other’s arms for a moment, listening to the sounds of the beach. “And you’re sure you love me?” he asked.
I looked him directly in the eyes as I held his face and stated once more, “I love you. Without a doubt.”
He held my gaze for a couple of seconds before breaking the moment and accommodating the both of us to look at the sea and not at each other.
I was sure there were a bunch of things going on inside that pretty head of his, but Josh didn’t say much. I didn’t dare question him, not at the moment. I had to enjoy his apparent willingness to forgive me and try again.
Josh cleared his throat and said, “I’m sorry that your past relationship made you feel controlled and submitted. I can imagine that you felt forced, humiliated, and abused.” I appreciated that he was trying to understand how I felt, even though at this moment it didn’t matter anymore who I was in the past, but who I was willing to be in the present. “I’m mostly sorry that you felt as if you didn’t have control over what was happening with you and your relationship.” I watched the sea while his fingers ran up and down my arms. “It must have been difficult,” he added.
I felt compelled to reply. “It was.”
“Is that how you feel with me?”
I understood then just why he’d been so careful during this conversation. He wanted to make sure I didn’t feel that way with him. “No,” I answered and looked at him.
“No. Good.” He seemed relieved. “But you feel inadequate.”
I breathed out before giving my answer. “Most of the time.” It was difficult to be so honest.
“Well, babe, that needs to change.”
“Sure.” Josh seemed completely sure; maybe I should give it a try. “I guess it’s just a matter of talking about what you want in our relationship.”
He exhaled and ran his hand through his hair. “I want you.”
“You want me?” For some reason it felt there was more to that statement.
“I want you,” Josh repeated. “Only you.” Then he pulled my hand once more, forcing me to stand with him. He stood up beside me and held me in his arms. “I guess we’re good for now, don’t you think?” He winked at me, took my hand in his, and started walking back to the wedding reception.
After a couple of steps, I stopped and asked, “But don’t you want to talk a little bit more about what you'd like from our relationship? What you’d like to get from me?”
“Honestly, babe, if I start that conversation with you right now, I’m going to get even more worked up and we’re going to end up having sex on the beach.” He grinned at me. “I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t want to ruin my clothes and I hate to feel sand up my ass. Plus, we gave enough of a performance yesterday. I believe some things are better left in private.” We stared at each other.
“So, that’s it?” I asked. This whole thing felt too easy, and I couldn’t just let it sit without asking. “We’re good now?”
“Oh, no. We’re definitely not,” Josh said, wearing a playful frown. “I was promised a good amount of chasing. And I can’t wait to make you beg and convince me to take you back.”
“You’re an arrogant ass,” I said and laughed.
“And you love that about me.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
“I do love you.” I had to say it. I didn’t want to stop saying it.
“Well, come on. We have to go tell everyone that you’re working on convincing me to get back together.” Interlacing our fingers, we headed back. “Eddie was bitching at me this morning about how much of a fucking loser I was to let you go.”
“He did?”
“Can you believe that motherfucker?” Josh interjected. “Suddenly, now he’s defending you. He even threatened to haul my ass to your door and make me beg for your forgiveness if we weren’t back together by the end of the night.”
I couldn’t believe Edward said that. Since when were we on the same team?
“Really?” I asked. “I could have waited a couple more hours to have you at my door?” It would’ve been so much easier to keep playing victim and wait for Edward to drag Josh to me.
“Babe,” Josh explained, “I wouldn’t have let you go off this island until I sexed you up and convinced you that I was the only thing you’ve ever wanted in your life.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “But you know? Having you chase after me is going to be so much fun.”
We finally kissed and made up. His frantic hands ran up and down my body, his lips lowering my defenses every second. My body, of course, responded to his amorous assault, my hands tearing at his golden curls, and for a moment, I was afraid I could hurt him. so I placed my arms around his neck and took the opportunity to jump at him. Josh held me up by my ass, and a mocking comment brought me back to reality. Someone shouted at us to get back to our room, and as I finally paid attention to our surroundings, I noticed there were cheers and glee celebrating our getting back together.
I rapidly jumped back and placed my feet on the soft sand. Josh didn’t let me go far. He held me back a fraction of a second after my sudden movement. He cradled my face in his hands and gave me a loving look. I know he wanted me to concentrate only on him and forget everything around us. It was our moment, and he wanted us to enjoy it.
“I love you,” Josh said.
“I love you, too.”
I knew our love wasn’t perfect and we had to work on it to make it functional, but it was our love and it was perfect for us.
We were perfect for each other.
Epilogue
Some weeks later...
We’d had night after night of sex. I had pictured this imaginary checklist I was sure Josh secretly kept hidden from me. In my head, it contained all types of sexual scenarios he made us perform in order to be certain of what we liked and didn’t like to do together. So far, we’d enjoyed every single item.
Tonight was not an exception.
He had made sure I kept my promise of chasing after him—but only when we were alone and mostly in the bedroom. He was enjoying it a little too much. But so did I. Physically, Josh was everything I ever wanted in a man. His body was perfect—strong, muscular, and lean—and the sex was always amazing. I understood then what everyone meant when they said it was better when you loved the person.
It took some minutes for us to catch our breath after our performance. The task became easier once we lay our bodies on the bed, completely satiated and exhausted. Time for us to take a shower.
“Come on” I said as I stood up and arranged my hair. “Time to get cleaned up.” I pirouetted around the room and headed to the bathroom.
Josh laughed behind me, following just close enough to take advantage of his position by spanking my butt. “One day, babe,” he said. “One day, I’ll have this ass of yours.”
“Maybe.” I kind of agreed with him. “Not today, though.”
“No, not today,” he
clarified.
I was about to turn on the water, when he grabbed me from behind and kissed my neck. His hands rapidly advanced to my breast, and if I didn’t move, we’d end up having sex again and maybe never taking a shower. Then again, what was the rush?
The doorbell rang and stopped us from getting any further.
“Tell you what, gorgeous. Hop inside the shower and let me see who it is,” Josh said. Not exactly what I had in mind, especially after the way he’d just kissed me. But sex could wait for later. It was about six o’clock in the afternoon, and we hadn’t even eaten dinner yet. Or maybe Josh had ordered takeout and was going to grab it at the door to feed me.
He made those kinds of gestures all the time.
So I agreed to let him answer the door before I walked into my shower.
I turned on the water and let it cool my body. If it was a visitor, and not a delivery driver, they were probably looking for me, since it was my apartment. So I had to hurry.
I’d just started washing myself when Josh came back inside the bathroom. He took of the pants he’d donned to answer the door. My eyes roamed over his body, starting thoughts which would only get me on my knees in front of him all over again.
“It’s Marisol,” he explained with a concerned look, making me completely forget about my recent plans to rock his world. “Hurry up, babe. I don’t know what’s going on, but she needs to talk to you.”
This was unusual. “What do you mean? What happened?”
“Kass, I really don’t know,” he said. Josh took the soap bar and foamed my back. “She’s in your living room, crying her heart out, and her son’s with her.”
I couldn’t see his face, but he sounded worried, which only made me wonder more about what was going on. “I’m going to get showered and dressed as fast as I can, then take the kid to the park so you and his mother have some privacy. All I know is that she needs you.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
I didn’t understand what was going on, but it sounded serious—and Josh sounded seriously concerned. He’d even offered to take Sol’s little boy to the park, and as far as I knew, he didn’t like toddlers much.
Why would Marisol come crying to my apartment on a Thursday afternoon?
I planned to hurry and find out.
Acknowledgments
I can’t believe that I wrote and published my first book! There so many people who helped me during this exciting process.
First of all, my husband. Your love and support gave me the courage I needed to take the next step and finally publish some of my work. Thank you for taking care of our family, for all the meals you prepared, and for being so patient with me. I’m the luckiest girl in the world for having you in my life. I love you.
To my wonderful son. Thanks for understanding me. Thank you for giving me the time and space I needed to work on something that means the world to me. You and your father fill my life with happiness and love every single day.
Lindy, Cristina, and Rose, there’s so much I need to thank you for. Thanks for reading my book. Thanks for telling me that you liked it. Thanks for the encouragement you gave me through the whole process. Your faith is priceless. You girls make me feel like a rock star!
My amazing editor Kat. It’s difficult for any writer to share their work with anyone, to find the validation we need to carry on and get the job done. You made all of this so easy. Since our first email, I knew there was a friendship in the making. I can’t be thankful enough for everything you taught me. Your advice and guidance mean so much to me. Many thanks to you.
Special thanks to James and Noriko Keating. You are an important part of my writing life and family. Thanks for your kindness. This book is a fraction of everything I’ve learned through you. Many blessings to your family.
Thanks to my wonderful family and friends. There’s always someone next to me who’s proud and giving me unconditional love. No matter how far or close you are, how old or young, I can always count on you. If I name all of you, this book will never be finished, but be sure that you’re in my mind and I love you. I’m blessed because you’re in my life.
Author’s Note
To all my wonderful friends and readers:
Thank you for reading my book. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. Please take a moment to leave a review.
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Kind Regards,
K.T. Castle
About the Author
K.T. Castle is an author/artist in progress. She's on a quest to find the words, forms, and colors to materialize the worlds and people of her imagination. She never saw herself as an incurable romantic, but lately, that's what she finds herself musing about. Love is found everywhere, regardless if it comes from a nice person, an ass—mundane or even vampire.
When she's not busy with work, in front of a computer placing many thoughts in order, she makes her best to be creative or relax with a good book and a snack. Some of her favorite characters are Sookie, Rule and Shaw, Bella, Edward, Clary, Jace, Wrath, Hollywood, Blaire, Woods, Ethan, the Sleeping Beauty, and Ariel.
Get to know her more on her social media pages.
Facebook: @KTCastle.author
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Website: www.ktcastle.com/
Copyright
The Bridesmaid’s Checklist
Copyright © 2016 by K.T. Castle
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
Editing by Kathrin Hudson
Cover design by Victor Alberto Rivera
Photographs: models by Jhankarlo Photography; beach by Bernardino Menabrito
Book design by K.T. Castle Books
First publication July 19, 2016.
This book is a work of fiction. Any names, events, people, incidents, and places are product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, places or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Ebooks are not transferable. All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced, transmitted, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, without prior written permission of the author. The unauthorised reproduction or distribution of this copyright work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without permission.
This book is cataloged with the Library of Congress.
ISBN-13: 978-1535318631
ISBN-10: 1535318635
