Going Nowhere

by K. M. Galvin

  “I’m not worried. I’m pretty crush worthy myself.” He winked. Gah.

  “Don’t be annoying, Bartender.” I warned, mostly because he was right.

  “Finding me irresistible there, Crazy?” He smiled a sexy grin at me. I squirmed in my seat.

  “Oh, I’m finding you something. Your sister wants us over for dinner tonight.”

  “Cool. Want me to pick you up? I’ll be leaving here around five.”

  “Sounds good.” I lean back into my seat and close my eyes, relaxing completely.

  “So what are you up to for the rest of the day?”

  “Well I’ll probably go to the store and get something to make, probably a dessert to bring to Emily’s tonight.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yeah, I do. I was brought up to never go to someone’s house without bringing anything.”

  “Well if I can make a request, I’m partial to carrot cake.” He grinned at me.

  “Do any of y’all have any allergies?” I asked, mentally cataloguing the ingredients I’d have to pick up.

  “Nope.”

  “Ok then, I guess I am off to the store to get the ingredients to make you a carrot cake.”

  “You’re making it from scratch? Not out of a box?” His eyes lit up.

  “Of course.” I stood up from the table and grabbed my purse. Jason stood up to walk me out.

  “You like to cook?”

  “Yes, sir. Looks like you’re not the only impressive one around here.” I said cockily, swaggering a little.

  “Oh my God, I’m salivating already. Fucking-A bring two. I want one for myself.” He said, smacking his lips and rubbing his flat stomach.

  I turn towards him at the door. “Deal, but only because you probably got me a job.”

  “Sweet.” He pulls me in for a quick hug and waits to close the door until I’m in my car and pulling out of my space. I wave and set off for the store, smiling to myself at how nice this entire morning turned out.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The rest of my day was uneventful and while a week or so ago that would have driven me mad, I’m settling into a routine. I shrugged it on like a favorite coat and snuggled into it. I missed having a purpose, a reason to get out of bed.

  I also missed money.

  Though it wasn’t a permanent situation this would provide some security, financial and otherwise, while I figured some stuff out. When I got home from the grocery store I set out all the ingredients for later and sat down in front of my laptop and did something I hadn’t done in over the month that I had been home wallowing. I opened myself back up to the outside world.

  I checked my email and was immediately filled with guilt and shame at the number of emails I had left unanswered for too long. These were my friends, people I explored the beginning of adulthood with in college. It took me over two hours to respond to everyone.

  I didn’t go into great detail of what I was doing. Just left it at trying to figure some stuff out before I made my next move. It seemed I wasn’t the only one a little lost and while I knew that I wasn’t on my own little island of self-pity, it was both eye opening and comforting to know that some of my friends were going through the same things.

  No one prepares you to be yourself. There’s no course you can take for life.

  My fingers twitched with the energy my thoughts were invoking. I clicked open a blank Word document and started writing. I dumped everything onto those pages and it lightened me. I had no idea how long I was at it, but I stopped when my fingers got stiff and my wrists began to hurt a little. Sitting back and I stared at my computer screen, exhausted yet satisfied. I saved the document under “Bitchfest” and checked my phone. Close to three hours had gone by, holy crap! I also had a text from Jase.

  How are my cakes coming along?

  I ate them.

  You’re funny.

  No, really, I ate them. I had to smell them the whole time, I couldn’t control myself, it was messy. I turned into a Cake Monster and devoured them in a fit of shame eating.

  U lie and what’s shame eating? NVM, I don’t want to know. You’ve got 2hrs, Betty Crocker. Get’s ta steppin’

  Don’t talk like that.

  Girl you’ trippin’

  Bye!

  Holla at ya later! :p

  “What a dork.” I murmured, still smiling. I’ve never met a guy confortable enough in his masculinity to use emoticons. Checking the time, I saw that he was right; I only had two hours. Barely enough time to get the cakes made, cooled, and frosted. “Let’s do this!” I said, cracking my knuckles.

  The doorbell rang while I was frosting. Cursing a blue streak I wiped the sweat of my face and ran to the door. Flinging it open I ushered Jason into my parents’ house.

  “Come on! I need your help.” I began my speed walk back to the kitchen when I noticed him walking as slow as possible behind me. I glared at him over my shoulder. “I don’t have time for your sloth impression. Move it, Scott.”

  I entered the kitchen this time not caring if he was behind me or not, I needed to finish the piping. Or what I liked to call piping, which was probably a huge stretch since it looked a little messy. Whatever. I shrugged; it’s just going to be eaten anyways.

  “Can I lick the bowl?” Jason asked from right behind me, I could feel his breath stir my hair.

  My muscles locked in order to suppress a shiver at his proximity. I turned a little and looked up at him, scratching my nose uncomfortably when I realized he would only have to move maybe two or three inches down and his mouth would be on mine. My breath stalled as his body heat rushed over me.

  “You can if you help me frost the other cake, but no licking the bowl until the cakes are done. Then you can have the left overs.” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

  He hadn’t moved an inch and his eyes were roaming over my face, his eyes darkening with emotion.

  “Can you move back a little? You’re crowding me.” I asked nervously, refusing to touch him right now when the air was so thick. I don’t know what I would do if I felt him under my hands right now. His chest expanded with a breath.

  “Marisol, look at me for a sec.” He said quietly.

  “I am.” I said to his chest.

  “Uh, excuse me, I’m not a piece of meat. My eyes are up here, pal.” He said in a mock-offended voice, motioning with his hand. I jerked my head up to look into his eyes, completely embarrassed.

  “What do you want, smart ass?” I gritted out, desperate for some space. Unfortunately, any movement would cause contact since I was pretty much backed up to the counter.

  “You have something-” he leaned forward even closer to my face and lifted a hand; I jerked as his finger slid along the tip of my nose. I stared at his finger that now held frosting. “-here.” He finished, putting his nose-frosted finger into his mouth and sucking it, never looking from my face. There was no mistaking the suggestion in those green eyes now. They practically glowed with it. I blew out a breath, hating how it shuddered out of me unsteadily.

  “Back up.” I said quietly, closing my eyes. Please, do not do this right now.

  As if he heard my thoughts, the heat left me and he walked to the sink to wash his hands. Silently he picked up a knife and began frosting the other cake. We worked in quiet for the next ten minutes, finishing up the dessert.

  “All done!” Jason called. I looked over from where I was putting aluminum foil around my cake and nodded at him, handing him the foil so he could wrap his up too.

  “That one’s yours, here wrap it up.” I said, indicating the one he just finished.

  “Why is this one mine? Because I frosted it?” He frowned as he looked down at it. The cake looked like it was iced with inches of thick frosting. I laughed a little at how misshapen it looked now.

  “Actually, yeah.” I smiled at his disgruntled expression.

  “I happen to love frosting.” He responded archly, but he smiled so I knew he wasn’t truly offended.

/>   “I see that. Come on, Cake Boss, we gotta go or we’ll be late.” I grabbed my purse, slung it over my shoulder and after a quick clean up we headed to his car with our cakes.

  He opened the back door of his black truck and slid his cake onto the floor. His truck was huge and I honestly didn’t know how I was going to get into it without a ladder. Thank god I wore my outfit from this morning and not a dress or I’d have to change and then we would be really late.

  “Uh, Bartender?” I called to him. He walked around to the passenger side and took the cake from my hands, putting it next to its ugly brother and opened my door. “How am I-oh shit!” I yelped as he pretty much threw me into the passenger seat, Jason cackling behind me as he slammed the door shut.

  Ending up slumped over the armrest in the middle of the bench seat I grumbled, “Jesus, Jason, how about to warning before you sling me around like a sack of potatoes.” Exaggerating righting myself as he climbed into the drivers seat to make my point.

  “Sorry!” He grinned at me as he started his truck.

  “Are you compensating for something? This car is like a tank.” I asked, marveling at how high up we were.

  “First of all, it’s not a car, it’s a manly ass truck and no I’m not compensating for anything. No complaints in that department.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

  “Ha. Sounds like a dinosaur.” I say, listening as we drove out of my neighborhood.

  “It’s a beast.” He said proudly, rubbing his dashboard. “Why? Don’t you like it?”

  “I’ll take Charlene over Beast any day.”

  “Who’s Charlene?”

  “My car. My completely non gas-guzzling car.” Smiling as I spoke. I loved my car.

  “Charlene?” He laughed. “How in the hell did you come up with that name?”

  “I dunno. When I got her, she said her name was Charlene.” I shrugged.

  “Oh she told you, did she? You’re not really doing anything to deter from the crazy impression I have of you.” He glanced at me sideways.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just petted your car in front of me so I’d say we’re even. Where’s your music? Time for some investigating.” He opened center console, pulling out an adapter and IPod, similar to mine and handed it over.

  “Go for it, Crazy.”

  Going to his recently played playlist, I started scrolling. Smiling a little when I saw a lot of the songs we listened to on the way to and from St. Augustine. I also saw that he had a lot of Folk and Bluegrass, which I whole-heartedly approved of.

  I clicked one of my favorite Delta Rae songs, “Morning Comes” and hummed along with them and ended up singing along after about a minute, the beat was so infectious. Jason looked over and smiled at me when I began to belt out the chorus.

  He stayed quiet for the entire song, content to play the drums on his steering wheel while I took the lead. It was so easy to be with him when we were like this. Jason settled something inside me. I sang the last note and mock bowed when he clapped.

  “You didn’t tell me you could sing!” He said.

  “I can’t sing, not like you, but I like to.” I corrected. I wasn’t terrible, but singing was more for fun than anything else for me. “You’re the only one besides Charlene and Kayla to ever really hear me sing.”

  “Well, you’re good.”

  “I’ve been called the song bird of my generation.” Quoting Step Brothers to him.

  “I’m serious, Crazy, that wasn’t terrible.” He laughed.

  “Well, thanks, Mr. Scott. That’s a big compliment coming from the Jason Scott himself.” I batted my eyelashes making him laugh. Turning my attention back to the IPod, I continued to serenade him all the way to Emily’s house.

  CHAPTER TEN

  We pulled up to a small beach house off 3 Street down by the Beaches in Jacksonville. It was modest, with the famous Florida stucco. The front yard was small and the backyard fenced in. There were toys scattered across the lawn evidence of the child that lived here. I squeezed my hands together nervously as we pulled into the sandy driveway and Jason honked. Taking a deep breath, I looked down when Jason’s hand covered mine.

  “You’ll be fine. Mikey is awesome.”

  As if Mikey heard his uncle say his name he came bounding out of the house to Jason’s side of the car and threw himself at his uncle. I gaped a little at the resemblance. They were identical. Same black hair, although the little boys' was shorter, more closely cropped to his head. The same green eyes as his mother and uncle turned their attention to me and I waved a little.

  “Who are you?” He asked. Ah, to be a little kid. No pretense.

  “I’m Marisol, but all my friends call me Mari.” I got out of the truck as Jason carried him on his hip around the back towards me.

  Mikey got a little shy and was hiding his face in his uncle’s neck. I held my hand out towards him and he tentatively took mine in a little handshake. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Scott.” I said in a grave voice.

  Mikey laughed; showing off set of dimples and then began wiggling until Jason put him down. The minute he got his feet on the ground he was running back into the house yelling for his mom.

  “So I’m already in love with him.” I said conversationally to Jason.

  “That quick, huh? It was the light up sneakers wasn’t it? Women love a good pair of shoes.” He smiled at me as he handed me the pretty cake.

  “Actually it was the dimples. They could melt even the coldest of hearts.”

  “Well you got him to laugh. He’ll be all over you by the end of the night.”

  We walked into Emily and Mikey’s house and I looked around, curious at how someone my age managed to have all this. Got to admit, I was envious, but mostly I was just glad that she was able to have it. She was so sweet and got handed a raw deal, but she handled it. Jason led me into the small kitchen where Mikey was currently telling Emily about the way I called him Mr. Scott.

  “She said Mr. Scott like I was a growned up, Mommy.” He clapped his hands and bounced around the kitchen.

  “It’s grown up, Mikey.” She corrected, smiling at her sons excitement.

  “She thought I was a grown up! But I’m only four and a half.” He noticed then that I was standing in the doorway and made his way over to me and showed me four fingers. “I’m only this many, Miss Lady.”

  I squatted down to his level and grabbed his fingers. “You’re forty fingers old? Wow, that’s really old, but I don’t see any grey hair.” I told him when I started rubbing his baby soft hair. He started giggling.

  “You’re silly. I’m four fingers old. How many are you?”

  “More than two hands and that’s all you need to know, Little Man.” I poked his belly and stood up.

  “You’re funny. What’s your name again?”

  “You can call me Mari.” I smiled down at him and he smiled back. Yeah, I was already head over heels for the little squirt. “You’re cute.”

  “I’m handsome!” He yelled and then took off into the living room where SpongeBob was playing on the TV. I looked over at Emily and Jason who were both staring at me, smiling.

  “What?” I said a little nervously, tugging on the hair.

  “You’re hired.” Emily said.

  “Seriously? Awesome!” I walked over and gave her a big hug. “That was quick!”

  “Well Mikey takes a while to warm up to strangers, but you both clicked instantly. I trust my brother and son. You’re good people.”

  “I like you guys too!” I said, getting strangely misty eyed. I cleared my throat and looked over at Jason. He was doing the whole staring at me intently thing that made me nervous. “What?” I had to clear my throat a little. He just shook his head and gave me a grateful smile. I turned back towards Emily, a little afraid to keep staring at him. I was about to do something stupid, like go snuggle into his arms or something. “Do you need help with anything, Emily?”

  “Nope, thanks though! If you want to go take a seat at the dining r
oom table, we’re about to eat. Just got to mix the sauce with the spaghetti. Michael Scott! Go wash your hands and sit down at the table.”

  Mikey took off running again and I walked through the living room to a small seating area. Her house was awesome. I could take Mikey to the beach in the mornings before it got too hot. The more I thought about all the stuff we could do, the more excited I got. We could explore the whole city together. I sat down and Mikey came running into the dining room, snagging the seat to my right and grinned at me.

  “Are you my nanny?” He asked me, folding his arms onto the table.

  “I am! Is that cool?”

  “Are you going to be on the phone all the time with your boyfriend?” He asked suspiciously.

  “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

  “Good. You’re pretty. You can be my boyfriend.” He said seriously. I burst out laughing as Jason walked in.

  “Thick as thieves already?” He asked taking the seat to my left.

  “Mikey, tell your uncle what you just told me.” I said still giggling. This kid was going to be trouble when he was older. Just like his uncle.

  “I said Mari could be my boyfriend.” He told his uncle and then, as if he realized his uncle could be competition, he pointed a finger at him as threateningly as a four-year could. “She’s my boyfriend, Uncle Jase, not yours.”

  Jason cracked up, “Hold up, Romeo, she would be your girlfriend, not a boyfriend.”

  “She’s friends with a boy. Boyfriend.” He said as if this made perfect sense and Jason was the one confused.

  “He has a point, Jase.” I said, smiling at him.

  “She’s a friend that’s a girl, girlfriend.” Jason argued, but Mikey just shrugged, done with the conversation when his mom arrived with the bowl of spaghetti. Food trumps girlfriends again, I thought with a little snicker. Jason’s foot connected with my leg, gaining my attention.

  “Told you!” He whispered, jerking his head to Mikey.