Going Nowhere

by K. M. Galvin

  “Jase is going to shit a brick. Dude has been emo all week after y’alls fight.”

  I rolled my eyes, “We made up.” I huffed out a breath when we got outside. “Ok what’s the plan?”

  He walked me over to a newer black SUV and beeped the locks. I hopped in the passenger side while he threw my bags in the back. Getting into the drivers seat he said, “We have a little over two hours until Jase goes on stage. So I was thinking of grabbing some lunch and then getting you hooked up with a backstage pass so I don’t lose you in the crowd. Sound good?”

  “Are you kidding? I’m freaking out! Can you believe the bands that are playing at this festival, oh my God! And I get a backstage pass!” I hooted and put a hand out for a high five. Declan shook his head, smacking his hand on mine.

  “Not to mention Jase…”He drawled.

  “Yeah, yeah, him too.” I giggled. “Of course, I’m excited to see Jase. But the bands, Dec. The bands!” I groaned dramatically.

  “I’ll have to let Jase know where he places in your affections.”

  I let out a snort of amusement, “Oh, trust me, he knows. Now feed me!” I mock growled.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He saluted as we merged onto the highway.

  Finally. Finally we were here.

  I followed Declan through the hoards of people, my hand gripping the back of his shirt so I wouldn’t get left behind. I looked around me at the amount of people, the music playing all around me, the ocean, and fell in love. This was so amazing. Not one of the biggest festivals out there but I felt like it was almost a little bit better.

  A few people recognized Declan, which completely floored me. It was weird knowing someone who was quasi famous. He’s just Declan, friend, boyfriend’s best friend, and Emily’s past crush. Yet here he was, signing a few autographs here and there and continuing onward with me dragging behind him like this happened everyday. When it happened a third time I let out a little laugh causing Declan to look my way. I pointed at the t-shirt he was signing and smiled.

  He leaned close so I could hear him and quoted, “I’m kind of a big deal.”

  I barked out a laugh, “Yeah, ok, Justin Beiber. Can we maybe move this along? He’s supposed to get on stage soon.”

  I grabbed his arm and tugged. We walked maybe two hundred more feet and approached a smaller stage. There was a good size crowd already gathered and it made my heart swell with pride to realize they were here to see my boys preform.

  We walked to the side of the stage and Declan walked up to a huge dude who looked like he could break me in half then gnaw on me like a toothpick. Declan looked over at me and pointed, I glared at him, not wanting Shrek’s attention on me. I gave a tiny wave and tucked my arms behind my back, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. Shrek gave Declan something and Declan walked back towards me.

  “Here’s your pass, do not take it off.” He put it over my head and I picked up the laminated pass, looking at The Boonies with Jason Scott printed on it and I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. “I have to go meet with the guys before the show. Mari, don’t take it off, you hear me?” He ducked down so his eyes met mine.

  “Yes, daddy. Don’t worry, I don’t want Shrek over there getting hungry and making me his next meal.” I glanced at the bouncer who was still staring at me. Creep. Declan laughed.

  “Brutus? Nah, he’s cool.”

  “His name is freaking Brutus? Are you kidding?” His parents must have been psychic when he was born. Declan ignored me, checking his phone.

  “All right, kiddo. I gotta go. Get up on stage left and you can get the best seat to Jason’s set.” He gave me a quick hug. “See you later, Mars!” He waved and then took off at a jog in the opposite direction.

  I patted the pass that hung to the middle of my stomach and made my way towards Brutus. When I got close enough he held out a hand to ward me off and then waved me towards him. I rolled my eyes because he just saw Declan hand me the pass.

  “Pass?” He growled.

  His was voice so deep it made my feet vibrate. Good lord he was intimidating. He stood well over a foot taller than me and had to outweigh me by a hundred pounds. I think he would have been kind of handsome if he weren’t so terrifying. I held out my pass towards him and he checked it over while I stood there sweating like a hooker in church.

  Finally he let it drop back down and took a step back, nodding his head toward the stage. I could hear the crowd beginning to cheer so I knew that Jase had taken the stage already. I hurried up the steps and made my way carefully over all the cords that lined the floor backstage. There were a few people standing on the side of the stage, most of them crew members according to their shirts. I pushed my way to the front of them and when I got my first sight of him, my breath hitched and I felt the blood rush my ears making a buzzing sound.

  God, he looked good.

  I blinked at the stinging in my eyes, refusing to let any tears fall. I didn’t want to look all snotty and gross when he saw me. I took him in, standing in front of a mic, his guitar slung over his shoulder. He had on low-slung jeans and a white V-neck shirt. There was a gray vest over his shirt and he had on his black Chucks.

  He had gotten tan since I lost saw him and the glow made him even more attractive, creating a sexy contrast with his hair and eyes. He was greeting the crowd and, hearing him mention a girl back home, I focused completely on what he was saying, my heart pounding in realization.

  He was talking about me.

  “You guys are going to have to be patient with me today, I’m missing my girl back home. She’s a big Mumford and Sons fan, and I know this song means a lot to her. Sing along if you know the words, this is After the Storm.”

  The crowd went nuts when he began playing the melody. My throat had completely closed off with tears as he sang the lyrics that meant so much to me. My hand came up to rest against my heart and I could feel how hard it was pounding. My legs felt weak and I literally couldn’t hear anything else, but his voice singing about a time when love wouldn’t break my heart.

  I closed my eyes and let it wash over me; tears fell from my eyes and didn’t bother to stop them. If I hadn’t already been in love with him before, I would be in this moment. I couldn’t believe that he remembered how much this song meant to me, especially since I mentioned it almost two months ago.

  When he got to the chorus a second time I opened my eyes and met vibrant green ones. He was staring straight at me, singing this song to me and I gasped out a breath at the naked emotion on his face. He was feeling the same thing; I knew it. Teary eyed and love written on my face, I mouthed, “surprise” and he smiled. The crowd clapped startling us out of our moment and he turned back to them.

  “Apparently, I was in for a surprise today. My girl’s here! You guys want to meet her?” He yelled, the elation in his voice so obvious I couldn’t help feeling ridiculously happy.

  I was so concentrated on him that I didn’t actually hear what he said until a second later when he held out his hand to me and waved me towards him. I balked and shook my head at him, mouthing a ‘no.’ He just grinned and put his guitar on a stand and then walked steadily towards me. I tried to back up, but the freaking crew was pushing me towards him. I turned to give them a piece of my mind, but then I was in his arms.

  His face buried into my neck, breathing me in and I forgot everything else as my arms went around his shoulders. We hugged each other so tightly I felt like we were fusing to each other. He pulled back, still saying nothing and took my mouth in a heated kiss. Devouring my mouth and completely decimated any protest I had about anything.

  I became his slave in that kiss; I would do anything for him. It was tongue, teeth, and lips fighting to consume every ounce of me.

  He pulled away from me and rested his head against mine, both of us breathing heavily. His grip tightened on me for a second before he pulled back and looked at me, eyes roaming all over my face like he couldn’t believe I was here. I grinned at him, my hand rising to move some of
the hair out of his face.

  “Surprise.” I said softly again, still smiling.

  He smiled back and pulled me back into a tight hug before grabbing my hand and dragging me onstage. Before I knew it, I was in front of hundreds, possibly thousands of people. I turned towards them and froze like a deer in the headlights.

  Holy shit.

  I gave Jase a quick look and saw that he was introducing me to the crowd.

  Holy hell.

  I gave a quick wave and started to inch my way back to the sidelines, but Jase wasn’t having it. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him.

  “How would you guys like to hear her sing?” He asked and the crowd cheered, the sound so loud my eyes widened in disbelief.

  He could not do this to me. I heard someone laughing hysterically and I leaned around Jase to see Blake and Trent laughing so hard they were holding each other up. Declan was there too, but he was smiling at us. When he saw me looking he winked and gave me a thumbs up. I don’t know what it was about the boys in my life, but they made me violent. I wanted to bite his stupid thumb off. I was not a singer. I loved music, yes, and I wasn’t awful at singing, but I was totally ok with keeping the singing confined to my car or shower.

  He leaned towards me and whispered into my ears, “Come on, baby, you can do this.”

  I leaned back so he could see my glare, but then thought what the hell? This was a once in a lifetime chance and I was never going to see these people again if I sucked. So what if I was putting myself out there in front my thousands of people.

  No. Big. Deal.

  Ha! I shrugged at him, but my eyes vowed retribution. He brought his mouth back towards my ear and when his lips brushed it, I jumped a little. I heard him chuckle at my reaction, “Me too, baby.” I rolled my eyes, not sure what he was referring to. Probably the fact that I was about to burst into flames just being this close to him.

  “Do you remember Stubborn Love by the Lumineers?” He asked.

  I nodded; I only had that song on repeat for days upon days up until he left. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and introduced the next song. I turned towards him and tried to block out all the people watching me as he began the song. My eyes never left his as we sang and for a second I was able to ignore everyone else and pretend we were back in the car, just the two of us, flying down the highway, windows down and the music blaring. I smiled at the memories I saw reflected in his eyes.

  When the song ended, I couldn’t help it, I mouthed ‘I love you’ and saw his eyes widen and then flare with emotion. I knew I should have waited to say something in a more private setting, but the moment felt so perfect and right I had to tell him. His hand grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into a sweet kiss, I could feel his desire to say more, to talk about what I just confessed, but apparently he had more restraint than me and pulled back, whispering “later” in my ear.

  I nodded and made my way across the stage towards the boys, giving the crowds who were hooting at the show I just put on for them, a wave. Blake and Trent pulled me into their usual sandwich hug, patting my head like a puppy.

  “You were so awesome, Mars!” Trent grinned.

  “Yeah and that kiss was hotter than hell.” Blake said, wiggling his eyebrows. I elbowed them both until they released me and went over to stand next to Declan who threw an arm around my shoulders, hugging me to his side.

  “Good job, kiddo.” He said softly, watching his best friend with a smile.

  “Thanks.” I whispered quietly, watching Jason perform.

  Seeing how happy he was I couldn’t help but feel good about myself, that I helped put that smile on his face. I stayed like that for the rest of his set, which wasn’t long since he was an opening act, but I still felt so much pride in him with how he connected with the audience. He had them eating out of the palm of his hand and his confidence and energy on stage was infectious.

  I couldn’t see him doing anything else in this world.

  That stage was his home and although I was a little jealous that he knew that most basic answer to a question that everyone asks themselves, I couldn’t begrudge him for figuring it out. Jase wrapped up pretty quickly, obviously in a hurry to get off stage and I couldn’t help the cocky smirk that took residence on my mouth. If he kept this up I was going to be swaggering around the festival, arrogant as shit, but I guess that was what I loved about him most.

  He was so open with me, never once hiding his desire for me, never once denying himself the truth of his feelings. It was inspiring and something I needed to work on. I remembered his mother’s response when Jason asked her why she wasn’t embarrassed about how she acted and I envied that. I hoped one day I could say the same, be that secure in someone’s love for me that I could care less what anyone thought because the only person whose opinion mattered loved me unconditionally.

  That’s what I felt for Jason and one day I hoped I would allow myself the same feeling, I shook my head, getting rid of these thoughts. Not today, Marisol, today was about Jason. I smiled big when I saw him heading my way. The guys waved goodbye as they went to go get ready to get on stage. Then Jason had me in his arms in seconds and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

  “You’re not leaving my side today.” He breathed, causing goose bumps to race across my skin. I was fine with that, wrapping my arms around his waste. We stayed like that for a couple of the guys songs, but I wanted to go see the other bands so with are hands practically fused to one another’s as we explored the rest of the festival.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  We spent the day roaming from stage to stage, checking out new bands and seeing bands I loved. It was an amazing experience and one I was so happy to share Jason. We told each other everything that happened while we were separated, which wasn’t a lot since we spoke almost every day.

  He told me how the festival tour circuit was going amazing and how great it was to be back onstage and I told him about how my writing was really helping and how I finally caved and let Emily read it. When we weren’t talking we were kissing, and after an entire day of foreplay, I was ready to explode.

  It was going to happen tonight.

  I was ready to give up my virginity knowing that I was giving it someone who would cherish it. I think Jason could tell what I planned because there was urgency in his kisses that I hadn’t felt before.

  We were on our way back the hotel room now to meet the guys. The plan was to shower and change and then all of us would go grab a bite to eat and then maybe go to a club. I personally would have preferred to skip all of that and get horizontal with my Bartender, but I could tell that they were all excited I was here and wanted to go have fun so I caved.

  Stupid sweet boys were cock blocking, but I forgave them. I snorted out a laugh and glanced at Jason sitting next to me in the cab, if he only knew what I was thinking. I giggled again, drawing his attention to me. He smiled the minute our eyes connected and leaned over to give me a quick kiss.

  “I missed these lips, baby.” He said, sighing into my mouth.

  Man you have no idea, I silently agreed. I nuzzled the side of his face before pulling back and settling back into my seat. We still hadn’t spoken about what I had said to him on stage and although I was confident before, little slivers of doubt were starting to break through.

  Why hadn’t he said it back or even acknowledged it? I was staring out my window sightlessly, which is why when we pulled into the hotel parking lot, Trent smacking the window scared the shit out of me. I let out a loud shriek and was practically in Jason’s lap while Trent clung to the side of the taxi crying with laughter. I crawled off Jason and flung the door open, smacking Trent in the knee causing him to yelp in pain. Weren’t they adults?

  “Good, I hope it hurts like hell, you dick!” I growled as I marched inside. When I got inside the door I turned around to wait for Jason since I didn’t know where I was going. Trent came inside with an exaggerated limp, making my eyes roll. “Why are you guys always picking on me?” I
asked.

  “You’re the little sister I always wanted to torture. Plus you’re small so you can’t really fight back.” He said, coming to a stop next to me, ruffling my hair. I slapped his hands away.

  “You’re annoying.” I said under my breath. “Where’s Declan?”

  “Grabbing your shit out of the trunk.” Trent said, walking towards the elevators.

  Jason came in with Declan beside them and it looked like they were having a pretty heated discussion. My draws furrowed in confusion when I saw Declan waving his hand over at me. Jason shook his head and did the universal “shut up” move, hand like a blade, slicing in front of his throat. Hmm. What the hell was that about?

  Jason saw me and I could see his cheeks turn red; I just crossed my arms over my chest and looked at Declan who sighed and made his way over to me, Jason following at a slower pace.

  Ok, something was definitely going on.

  When they both reached me I looked at them waiting for them to say something, but Declan just held out my bag and left the minute I took it from him.

  Curiouser and curiouser.

  I turned my “spill it” glare onto Jase who stood there looking as innocent as possible. He was a minute away from whistling and looking up at the ceiling.

  “Wanna tell me what you two were just talking about all secretive like?” I asked.

  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stand on end. He grabbed my hand and began dragging me to the elevator.

  “It’s really nothing; can I wait to tell you tomorrow?” He asked, looking down at me. I was silent for a moment contemplating. Was he hiding something? He did say he would tell me though.

  “You will tell me though, right?” I asked suspiciously.

  “Yes.” He said firmly.

  “Ok, tell me tomorrow then.” I shrugged. I had to trust him to tell me. And if he didn’t, I would interrogate Declan.

  Ok, so maybe I had to work a little harder on the trust thing.

  Jase glanced at me out of the corner of his eye like he could tell what I was thinking and he probably could. The elevator opened and we walked down the hallway to his room.