Nolan: Return to Signal Bend

by Susan Fanetti

  “Be you. Always be you, no matter what.” Shannon sighed and stared at the floor for a few seconds. “You know, Nolan’s…he’s gone through some hard things.”

  So had Iris, but she didn’t say that. “I know.”

  “You know about the girl in California?”

  “Yeah, I know. I saw her video. That was a long time ago, though.” The girl had made a video of her doing all the things on her bucket list before she died. Her family had put it online a few months after her death, and it had gone viral. Everyone Iris knew had seen it.

  It was a happy, funny video, and a devastatingly sad one, too.

  Nolan had been in a lot of the footage. Seeing him with that girl had made Iris see him as more than just another club kid. She’d fallen for him a little, watching him love that girl.

  “I don’t think it was so long ago for Nolan. He’s been alone ever since, and I know you know he doesn’t need to be.”

  That was true. Every girl within about a hundred miles of Signal Bend, and probably many thousands of girls across the globe who’d seen him in that video, being all hot and sweet and perfect, wanted to get with Nolan Mariano.

  Iris had watched the video over and over, and though she couldn’t remember the girl’s name, she could still remember, almost verbatim, the words she’d said to Nolan at the end of the video: You helped me have everything. Thank you for loving me. It will break my heart to leave you. Don’t be sad for long. I want you to have a life of love and good things.

  “It’s been four years.”

  “I know, Iris. But grief doesn’t have a timeline. Maybe you’re right that he doesn’t know what he wants. I think you probably are. But you can’t make that decision for him. You can only decide for yourself. So no, I’m not going to tell you if he gets with anybody tonight. I’m going to do all I can not to notice that at all, and to keep your father from noticing, too. Okay?”

  “Okay. It was a dumb idea, anyway.”

  Shannon hugged her. “Not one of your smarter, no. But now I understand why you’re having Camp New Year instead of going to the clubhouse. That’s a smart move.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Even in these days of calm, the Horde met in the Keep every Friday. Even on New Year’s Eve. While the women got things set up in the Hall for the Horde New Year’s Eve party, which was, in effect, the Signal Bend New Year’s Eve party, the fifteen members of the club sat around the table.

  Nolan liked the way things were now, a balance between past and future at the ends of the table. In the center were Dom, the current Intelligence Officer, and Bart, the former IO, and the soldiers: Tommy, Kellen, Thumper, Saxon, Cox, Darwin, and Mel.

  Badger, as President, sat at the far end, flanked by Double A, his VP, and Nolan, his SAA. Facing Badge at the other end of the table was Isaac, the former President. At his flanks sat Show, Isaac’s VP and a former President himself, and Len, Isaac’s SAA.

  That had been the case since Isaac and Len had been released from prison the summer before last.

  Before then, Showdown had held the gavel, and Badge had been his VP, with Tommy at SAA. The leadership now was young—Badge was only thirty-five, and Nolan, at twenty-six, was the youngest SAA in club history—but it was the right leadership for the club as it stood. Nolan thought maybe Isaac, Show, and Len had been through too much, had seen too much darkness, to shepherd a club that worked in the light.

  Often, Nolan wondered if he, too, had seen too much to be effective in his role. His tendency was to see the most nefarious possible cause to any problem. But he had learned patience, he practiced it as if it were a kind of religion, so he mainly kept that dark tendency to himself.

  Most of the meeting was usual business, with some extra focus for end-of-year information. The Horde owned several Signal Bend businesses: Signal Bend Construction, where many of the members worked; Valhalla Vin, which Nolan’s mother managed; Signal Bend Health and Wellness Center, which Len’s wife, Tasha, a doctor, ran; and they were part-owner in several other business in and around town. On this final day of the year, a lot of the meeting was taken over by Double A, going over figures. Nolan paid enough attention to understand that they’d had a good year. The past few years had all been good—not extravagantly great, but comfortably in the black. Where they wanted to be.

  When the topic moved to forecasting for next year, Nolan tuned out. He didn’t much care about the plans. It was all the same to him, as long as there was somebody to tell him where to swing a hammer. There was some discussion of the next year’s town events, and he turned his ear to that a little, since he’d be in charge of security, but once he heard it was all the same as usual, he let his mind wander again.

  Where his mind wanted to wander was toward Iris. He hadn’t seen her since early in the week, at Marie’s, but Kellen had started talking around the clubhouse—quietly, to the younger members, not to Show—about her. Especially her tits. He had been appreciative more than disrespectful, so Nolan had no grounds to bash his face in, but he wanted to. He kept hoping Show would overhear the shithead and do the face-bashing for him. But no such luck.

  His head got quiet when he was around her. He didn’t know why, but it was true. But he was trying to stay away, because she was not somebody to just fuck around with. Kellen should have known better, too. Not only because she was Show’s kid, but because she was family, and a good person, and not somebody who deserved to be the one a fucked-up asshole worked out his problems on.

  He’d tried to figure out what this new draw he felt toward her was about. That stirring he felt—maybe it was something real, but he couldn’t tell. When he thought of Analisa, that wound still hurt. A lot. It didn’t feel like there was room in his heart for anybody else.

  Right after Ani’s death, he’d told his mom that loving her had shown him that he was capable of loving, despite all the darkness in his life. And that was true—he’d loved Ani with his whole heart, and he’d been good to her, and good for her, he knew. But it seemed he’d been wrong to think that he’d be capable of loving again. Or feeling anything deeply again. Except anger.

  When there was a long pause in the discussion, Nolan refocused completely and saw Badger staring at the table before him. He seemed troubled, and that wasn’t something that usually came around in the Keep these days.

  “Okay,” the President said. “Dom has something to share with us. I don’t feel good about this, but I’ve sought some good advice, and it’s something the whole club needs to know. We need to decide together what we do about it. If anything.”

  Wondering if the good advice Badger had mentioned accounted for those sideline meetings with Isaac, Show, and Len, Nolan took full heed as Dom nodded and sat forward.

  “First, I’ll say that I wasn’t looking for this. Not directly. I keep my ear to the ground, because I want to see trouble coming. I don’t want to get blindsided just because things are rolling quiet here.”

  “Say what you found, Dom,” Isaac’s voice was low and calm, and Nolan knew that Isaac had heard whatever the news was already.

  Dom took a deep breath and blew it out. He glanced at Bart before he spoke. “I’ve got good, reliable intel that David Vega is alive.”

  Nolan’s eyes immediately went to Bart, and he saw his brother flinch. But Bart said nothing.

  “That guy is like a fuckin’ cockroach,” Tommy muttered. “All the bad guys he’s crossed, and he’s still kickin’?”

  Dom nodded.

  “What’s the intel? Exactly.” Nolan kept his voice as level as he could. He knew that everyone at the table would be watching him, trying to gauge his response. When SoCal had been in such trouble the previous summer, Missouri had had on the table, more than once, the question of sending their aid in, even though Hoosier had not made a request. Every time, the idea of sending men had been voted down.

  Every time, Nolan had been the sole voice on the losing side of that vote, the only proponent of fighting with their SoCal brothers.

  No
w they were all watching him and Bart, the two most aggrieved members. Vega had hurt many of them, but Isaac, Show, Len, and Badger wanted no part of any kind of retaliation, not even in the service of another charter.

  Nolan had thought, last time, that Isaac might come to his way of thinking; he’d seemed deeply conflicted. But in the end, Badger’s insistence that vengeance was an unwinnable fight, and that, absent a request for help, they’d be going in for their own vengeance, had swayed the former President. Nolan had been alone.

  Mere days after that vote, Riley had been killed. Now Bart was here in Signal Bend, patched in again to this charter. While Nolan waited for Dom’s answer to his question, he kept his eyes on Bart.

  “He was sighted in Canada. Manitoba.”

  “Mani—sighted by who? Santa Claus?” There was some light laughter at Thumper’s remark, but nobody was in a particularly joking mood.

  Dom answered, “The Brazen Bulls had Nomads up north, working with the Cree. It’s Eight Ball sent me word. That’s how I know it’s legit. Vega is hiding out north of Lake Winnipeg.”

  “Jesus on a pogo stick,” Tommy grumbled. “Did the Nomads engage?”

  “No. Far as we know, Vega doesn’t know he’s been made. Nomads called Eight. But the Bulls know that Vega is Horde business, so Eight backed his guys off.”

  Thinking about those sideline meetings of Badger’s, Nolan asked, “How old is this intel?”

  Badger met his eyes. “Three weeks.”

  “And you’ve been sitting on it all that time.”

  “I had to make a decision about what was best for the club, if it was right to even bring it up.”

  “That’s not your call to make.”

  “Yeah, Nolan, it is. We’ve voted more than once to put our back to Vega and move forward. That’s the right call. We are not that club anymore.”

  The muscles in Nolan’s hands had begun to ache from the effort he was making to keep them from coiling into fists. “We haven’t voted since he fucked SoCal and got Riley killed.”

  Bart turned blazing eyes on Nolan and finally spoke. “Don’t you bring her name into this room. That’s not yours to do.”

  “Bart—”

  “No. Make your case, but do not use my wife to do it.”

  Losing his internal fight, Nolan slammed his fist on the table. “He’s got to die. If he doesn’t, he’ll just rear his head again and take more of what we love away. Ten years since Vega killed Hav. Ten years. He’s still on some fucked-up crusade to end drugs by any means necessary, and he doesn’t care who the fuck gets hurt.”

  Double A held up a calming hand. “You don’t know that’s still true. He lost his own wife and children last summer. And his cover is fully destroyed now. He’s Most Wanted with four cartels. He’s in hiding. His days of being a threat are over.”

  Nolan laughed bitterly. “You’re an asshole if you believe that, A. You say he’s in the sights of four cartels, and yet he’s still breathing. We found him accidentally. I’d say the odds are good he’s still protected. And that means he’s still somebody’s asset.”

  Showdown leaned on the table and turned toward Nolan. “You need to think with your head, son. Not your heart. We’re not on anybody’s radar now. Vega doesn’t have it in for us personally, and even if he’s still fighting, we’re not on that battlefield anymore. Vega gave us Santaveria to pay for what he did to Hav—and what he did to the rest of us.” Show glanced at Len, at Isaac, and then at Badger before he set his eyes again on Nolan. “That debt is paid.”

  “It’s not! What I’m owed is not paid.” Nauseated with rage, Nolan again turned his regard to Bart. “Come on, man. You can’t let what he did just go.”

  “I killed the man who sent the men who killed my wife. Emilio Zapata. Not Vega.”

  “Vega engineered the whole thing! He was why we were working with Dora. He hid behind her and manipulated us all. It was his plan that put Riley in Zapata’s crosshairs. You have to see that.”

  “If you say her name in this room again, I will beat you unconscious.”

  Tommy cut in before Nolan could respond. “You’re laying SoCal business on this table, Nolan. What happened out west is not our vote.”

  “I’m laying Night Horde business on this table. We’re all brothers, right? One club.”

  Badger held up his hand. “Let’s vote it. The question on the table is whether to pursue retaliation against David Vega.”

  Once again, Nolan was the only vote in favor.

  ~oOo~

  When they were done in the Keep, Nolan wanted to get out as quickly as he could. Fuck the party. He needed to ride. But he wasn’t even all the way through the Keep door when he felt the iron grip of Len’s hand on his shoulder. “You and me need to talk.”

  “No. I’m taking off.” Nolan tried to shake Len off, but that old bastard’s scarred, inked hands were strong as hell.

  “You’re gonna sit at the bar with me for a while. We’re gonna have a couple of shots of Jameson together. And we’re gonna talk.” As he’d spoken, he’d all but dragged Nolan through the Hall and shoved him onto a stool. He grinned at Chloe, one of the newer club girls, who was behind the bar. “Couple of shot glasses and a fresh bottle of Irish, doll.”

  “Irish?”

  “He means Jameson,” Nolan clarified. “I’ll have Jack.” At Chloe’s nod and grateful, hopeful smile—Nolan had favored her some—he turned to Len and glared into his one good eye. The other had been lost in the same horror that had taken Havoc.

  “I know what you’re gonna say, and I don’t need to hear it.”

  Chloe brought the booze and had the smarts to know she should get lost without being told. Around them the buzz of a big party was starting up. All the old ladies were busy setting up, bossing club girls and hangarounds. On any other night, Nolan would have enjoyed watching the commotion. Even his mom looked like she was having a good time. But tonight, after that meeting, he wasn’t capable of anything like enjoyment.

  Len poured himself a shot. When Nolan didn’t move for the Jack, Len poured him a shot, too. “Maybe you don’t know what I’m gonna say—and either way, you definitely need to hear it.” He downed his shot and snarled at Nolan until he did the same. With his empty glass, he waved at Nolan’s chest. “You see that flash on your kutte? You know what it means?”

  He was talking about Nolan’s SAA flash. Nolan didn’t dignify that stupid question with a response.

  So Len went on. “I don’t think you do. It means you are the first line of defense for the club—and with this club, it means you’re the first line of defense for the whole town. Defense, brother. Defense. Your first priority is to keep your club safe. Your town. Your people. Your family. You keep them safe, and you do whatever you need to do to make sure of it. Sometimes that means you get dirty. And sometimes it means you stay clean.”

  Len poured another shot for each of them. “Drink.”

  Nolan drank. “Vega will hurt us if we let him live.”

  “You’re thinking about this like a boy who lost his father. You’re trying to sort the pieces to make the picture you want. You want to kill the man who killed your father. I understand, Nolan. Believe me, I do. My first impulse is to do violence. But you’re more than that boy now. You’ve got to be smart, and I know, deep down, you know you’re wrong on this. Even if he is still in the game and he is protected, that makes going for him more dangerous. Then it puts us all back in the shit. The bodies piled up around us that last time we were in that shit. Isaac and I did hard time to get us out of it. Think like the SAA, brother. See the field. Know the players. Play out the moves.”

  Nolan poured himself a shot and downed it. “Hav would’ve gone for him.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. No question. He’d’ve been halfway to Canada already, and we’d’ve all had his back. But he went for revenge for his sister, and that got him killed. He left you and Loki and your mom alone. We all went right with him, and we all paid. I’m saying that we have learn
ed, brother. Revenge isn’t a win when you lose so much getting it.”

  Nolan heard what Len was saying, and he knew it to be true. But that restless anger bubbled in his belly, and he knew the only thing that would settle it was action. David Vega had sliced Havoc open and pulled his guts onto the floor. His mom was alone, and Loki had never known a father. Nolan himself had had a real father for all of about five minutes. Just long enough to feel like he’d finally gotten what he’d needed. Just long enough to trust in it.

  Vega had taken all that away. And he’d taken even more since. Nothing would make sense as long as he drew breath.

  Nolan knew that to be true as well. Ten years had not made it any less true.

  He pushed the bottle of Jack away. “I’m heading out.”