Fighting Lust: A Deadly Sins Novel

by Jennifer Miller

  As I stand a few feet from Ryder and paint, I can’t help but look at him out of the corner of my eye. The muscles in his arms move and flex with each up and down stroke of the brush. His smile is mesmerizing, his personality likable, his interest in me seems genuine, but I still feel uncertain. I’m not interested in a relationship, and I don’t know if I ever will be. But, for the first time I feel curious and intrigued. Maybe even a longing for something more. There’s definitely a pull there, like it or not, that’s for damn sure.

  With a large sigh I square my shoulders and prepare to face him and just spit out my thoughts. I want to ask him, straight up, what he wants. I mean, I know what he wants, that’s obvious, but no man has ever gone to this much effort for it before. Or maybe it’s just because I always make it so easy. Then again, maybe I totally rocked his world in that bathroom. “Ryder, look-”

  As soon as I turn to face him, I see nothing but white and feel something wet and cold. It takes me a moment to realize he just wiped the paintbrush on my nose. Blinking my eyes repeatedly, my jaw falls. “D-d-d- did you just… swipe paint on my face?” I sputter.

  His only response is an obnoxiously large smile, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it made me tingle in all the right places. The man is beauty personified; I thought that from the moment I saw him.

  “What are you going to do about it, Nurse hottie?”

  “What. Did. You. Call. Me?”

  “Nurse hottie?”

  He phrases it as a question this time, but doesn’t remove the grin on his face. Hands on my hips I give him my nastiest look, “This isn’t play time, Ryder. We have serious work to do here. You shouldn’t have come if you were going to act like this. Like a child.”

  His smile drops a little and he looks unsure. When he clears his throat and looks to the side, I use the opportunity to swipe my wide thick paintbrush right down the front of his face and chest. Paint drips off his chin and his mouth falls open in disbelief. While he stares at me speechless, and I begin to giggle, loud laughter catches my attention. A few of Ryder’s friends, Cole, Levi, and Zane are standing a few yards away laughing at the look on his face too. Which only makes me laugh harder.

  They’ve caught his attention too, and he gives them a death glare. “I’m going to get you for that,” Ryder promises ominously. I don’t wait around to find out how he intends to do so. Instead, I take off toward Cole, Levi, and Zane and duck behind them. They make a shield in front of me as Ryder runs over and begins what is sure to be an epic paint fight. “Let me by!” Ryder demands of his friends.

  “Not a chance,” Cole tells him as he traps me behind him protecting me from Ryder’s hands which with great effort, are attempting to reach around Cole and grab me. I’m laughing and dodging him, when I’m distracted by a loud war cry.

  Looking to my right, Dylan runs toward Ryder. A laugh bubbles up my throat and escapes when I see he’s painted his whole face blue.

  “Cool!” Zane declares and runs to the blue paint to do the same.

  Ryder and Dylan roll around on the ground calling each other profanities when Tyson, Sydney, Jax and Rowan all come around the front of the house to the back where we are and take in the scene in front of them.

  “Check me out!” Levi cries and when I turn to him, I see he’s taken a bandana he must have been using for his sweat and has tied it around the top of his head. Sticking out the back is a paintbrush, making it look like the bristles are feathers. He dances around like a Native American doing a rain dance and I double over with laughter. He lacks their beauty and talent and looks ridiculous. It’s all too much.

  I’m so distracted by the antics of Ryder’s friends that I’ve taken my eyes off of Ryder. When he grabs me and takes me to the ground, I’m not expecting it. “Told you I’d get you!” Ryder declares. He proceeds to tickle me and I can’t help but laugh because I’m ticklish everywhere.

  When he stops and I’ve calmed down, I feel a bit like a child for our antics but I also realize it’s been a very long time since I’ve laughed this much. Or let my guard down long enough to merely have fun. Looking at Ryder, I suddenly realize our positions. I’m lying on the ground on my back, and he’s straddling my hips, his hands resting on my stomach. We’re practically nose-to-nose, smiling widely at each other. Our laughter fades and awareness takes its place making my belly heat and an ache begin between my legs. Unconsciously, I tilt my hips up and Ryder’s eyebrows shoot up and he laughs softly, fire flaring in his eyes. We stare at each other for a moment, but then he stands up and reaches for my hands, helping me to my feet.

  Feeling embarrassed at my behavior, I look around and thankfully see everyone still carrying on. Tyson has Sydney pressed against the wall of the house and looks to be distracting her with his lips. Gina is on Zane’s back, and I laugh as he runs after Levi and Cole while she hoots and hollers. Jax and Rowan lean against the building and while he laughs, she’s got her phone out taking pictures or video – I’m not sure. Looking back at Ryder, I’m not expecting him to already be looking at me, and it’s a little unnerving. Pushing past the feeling, I tell him sincerely, “Thank you.”

  His brow furrows, “For what?”

  I gesture around us, “For this. The help, the laughs… just… thank you.”

  A slow smile forms and he lifts one eyebrow, which is rather impressive. I wish I could do that. “I know just how you can pay me back,” he suggests.

  My stomach immediately drops and I feel a little dizzy with the suddenness of it. I swallow heavily and my face burns. I’m not sure why it surprises me - it’s so typical - and I knew this was coming. “Okay. I guess I owe you. Where do you want to do this?”

  “What?” he asks.

  “Where do you want to do it? Your place? My place? Why don’t we just go to my place? It isn’t far, and you can just follow me there.” I look at him waiting for his response surprised by the fact he doesn’t seem to be following me if his confused look is any indication.

  “Can we back up here? I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Why am I following you to your place?”

  “I’m talking about paying you back. Like I said, I appreciate you bringing everyone here today. It was really thoughtful and we definitely needed the help. Aside from that, your friends made it fun.”

  “Okay…” he says as he grabs his bottle of water that had fallen to the ground, opens it, and takes a swig. I watch his throat as he swallows and lose myself in the motion. “You were saying?” he brings me back to the here and now.

  “Uh, yes. Like I said. I really appreciate your help and time.”

  “I’m happy to be here,” he says.

  I nod, then just spit it out, “Alright, then let’s just go back to my place afterwards to fuck. Then we’ll be even.”

  The water he just sipped shoots out of his mouth at his surprise and shockingly hits my face. My mouth falls open, which makes the moment all the more gross, and I grab the bottom of my tank top to swipe at my face. “What the hell?” I ask.

  “Wh-” he says, “You-” he tries again. “Are you-”

  “Clearly you need some help here. What’s the big deal? I don’t understand why you look shocked. Isn’t this what you want?”

  He twists the cap back onto his water and shoves the bottle into his back pocket. “Hold up,” he says, “you think I want to-”

  “Fuck me,” I finish the sentence for him with a roll of my eyes. I don’t get why he’s acting so prudish and confused about this. “You know, as a way to thank you for coming out and helping today. And bringing friends. I thought I’ve made that clear already,” I say exasperated now.

  “Is this something you generally do to say thank you?” He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head, “You know what? Don’t answer that.”

  I sigh loudly and grab him by the shirt. The property sits on a corner lot and there is a large block wall with my car parked on the other side. It should offer us enough privacy for a quickie, no problem. Dragging him with
me, I look at him over my shoulder, “In fact, forget my place. I bet we can take care of this right now.”

  “Whoa.” He yanks away from me and puts his hands up in a defensive gesture.

  “What now?”

  “Hell, woman! All I was going to do is ask you to go to dinner with me.”

  “Dinner?” I look at him wondering if I heard him correctly.

  “Yes. A dinner date. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? It’s when two people get dressed up nicely and go out to a restaurant, eat, and perhaps enjoy wine over conversation.”

  “Don’t be a smart ass. I know what a dinner date is.”

  “Well I wasn’t sure. Clearly it isn’t the kind of favor you usually return.”

  “Why do you want to go to dinner with me?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?

  “You’re not interested in anything other than sex, so why are you pretending?”

  He pulls his mouth into a firm line, then opens his mouth to say something before closing it again. He looks away for a moment, then looks back at me. “Tessa, will you please have dinner with me tonight?”

  Looking down at my paint covered clothes, I hesitate. “By the time we’re done here, all I’m going to want to do is go home.”

  “Okay, then tomorrow night it is. I’ll pick you up at six o’clock.”

  “You don’t know where I live.”

  “I’m assuming you’ll help me with that.”

  I stare at him holding his eyes with mine trying to see if there’s any humor in his, anything that may lead me to believe this is all one big joke. But, all I see is sincerity. And maybe a tad of frustration. Nodding, I hold out my hand, “Do you have your phone with you?”

  He hands it to me and I plug in all of my information before giving it back. “Okay, then it’s set,” he smiles wide, “I’ll take you out for a nice dinner and we’ll have good conversation and hopefully even a great time, okay?” I nod and do my best to smile back, but I can’t help but wonder what the hell I’m thinking in agreeing to this.

  **

  Standing in front of the mirror I smooth my dress down my sides. I worry if I’ve dressed appropriately – should I have gone more casual? Maybe more dressy? I consider tackling my closet once more and pull the door open again, but I stop and make myself close it. I’m being ridiculous. Placing myself back in front of the mirror, I once again check out my appearance. I opted for a long woven floral maxi dress. It has a front slit, a low v-neckline and short sleeves. The real show stopper however is the back cutout - my whole back is on display. It’s sweet but sexy at the same time, and a perfect dress for the warm Arizona spring.

  I chose to leave my hair down. It’s parted down the middle and flows down the sides of my face and back. When left alone, it has a natural wave to it that at times can be frustrating when uncooperative, but tonight, I let it be. It seems to fit the feel of the dress. My makeup is simple except for a bold fuchsia lip that matches the color of the flower in my dress. My shoes are comfortable gold gladiator sandals and I have small gold hoops in my ears and a gold bracelet on my wrist. Grabbing my matching gold bag and a sweater just in case, I leave my room.

  Gina whistles when she sees me, “Oh, you look amazing,” she says with excitement. “I’m totally stealing that dress some time.”

  Laughing at her comment makes me forget my nervousness for a moment, “Thank you,” I reply and then begin pacing while I wait for Ryder’s arrival.

  “Will you quit pacing?!” Gina commands. “You’re going to have an amazing time. He seems really into you considering how much he’s pursued you,” she says knowing exactly how often he’s appeared in my life lately. “There’s no pressure, okay?”

  “What am I doing, Gina? I mean seriously, I don’t date. Ever. What the hell am I thinking? I don’t do this kind of thing.”

  “There’s a first time for everything. And you’re thinking that there is no harm in going out and enjoying a nice dinner and great conversation with a sexy man.” I give an unladylike snort at her answer. “Stop over thinking it, and just go with the flow for once.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “Yes, it really is. Allow yourself to be wined and dined.”

  “I’ll try.”

  She takes my hands, “Look, I know you’re nervous and I get it. But, you deserve this. All your hook-ups,” she pauses and a line appears between her brows. “I just…I worry about you, okay? You know that. And this… this is different… and nice,” she says seriously leaving all signs of the crazy Gina behind as she looks me deep in the eyes and talks to me from her heart.

  “It is different, that’s for sure.”

  She nods and then an evil smile lifts her mouth, “Good thing I waxed you not long ago, huh?”

  “Shut-up,” I laugh.

  “It’s beyond clear he’s interested in you. He showed up at the hospital, then the house to help…he’s working hard, and you’ve simply been able to be just you. That has to feel good – even for you. Just enjoy it.”

  “I’m trying,.” I respond, ignoring the ‘even for you’ sentiment and the ramifications of that remark.

  “You’re doing a shitty job of it.” I laugh because really, what else can I do? She’s completely right.

  A knock sounds on the door and I immediately look at Gina nervously. I can feel how large my eyes are in my face and my mouth goes dry; my stomach sick from nerves. She simply smiles calmly and gives my shoulder a gentle push towards the door. Taking a deep breath and wiping my suddenly damp hands on my dress, I finally bring myself to open the door. When I swing it open, the first thing that assaults me is how delicious Ryder smells. His cologne, or aftershave, is amazing – it’s musky with a hint of citrus. I love it and can’t stop myself from inhaling deeply.

  He’s wearing a black pair of dress pants and a deep blue dress shirt that brings out the color of his eyes. His sleeves are rolled up his arms revealing those wonderfully strong and tattooed forearms and he looks sexy as hell. Taking a deep breath, I smile in welcome, and try to calm my racing pulse. Every time I see him I realize what one hell of a beautiful man he is. In and out of his clothes.

  “Hi,” I finally manage.

  “Hi, yourself.” He hands me a bright pink rose that I didn’t realize until now he was holding. I immediately bring it to my nose and inhale. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.” It’s also unexpected. I’ve never gotten flowers from a man before.

  “Here, I’ll put it in water for you,” Gina says as she appears at my side.

  “Thank you,” I murmur.

  “Hi Ryder,” she says with a large smile.

  He nods, “Gina, nice to see you again.”

  “You too, stud,” she says making him laugh. She disappears to take care of my flower like she promised.

  “Are you ready?” he asks me.

  “Yes.” I turn around in order to close the door and I swear I hear a small gasp from Ryder. Ah. He’s seen the back of the dress. I can’t help the small smile. Gina catches my eye as I close the door and she winks.

  Ryder places his warm hand on my back as he walks me to his car and my body immediately breaks out in goose bumps from the contact. My nipples harden and my breath catches in my throat.

  His effect on me is unchartered territory.

  This is going to be an interesting night.

  She’s beautiful. I know I’ve thought this to myself a million times but fuck, she is. It isn’t just the way she looks. It’s in the way she moves, the sound of her voice, the intensity in her eyes, the way she carries herself. Everything. Just simply everything about her.

  When her apartment door opened and it was filled with her beauty I felt speechless. She has an effect on me I can’t define. I want to get to know her better, protect her and have my way with her, all at the same time. It’s a foreign feeling and I find myself at war with myself. It’s obvious she’s apprehensive and the worst thing I can do is come on too strong – but at the same time, I want to make my intentions
very clear. It’s all rather unconventional considering how we first met, but it’s clear I’m not the only one that’s trying something new here.

  “So, I had reservations for us at this new restaurant they just opened in downtown Gilbert. It’s supposed to be great and some guys were talking about it at work.”

  “Did you say had?”

  “You caught that, huh? Yeah, I said had. I changed my mind at the last minute. It just wasn’t the right place for us tonight.”

  “Okay,” she says, heavy on the ‘a’ with apprehension clear in her tone.

  “I decided somewhere more comfortable, easy and relaxed would be better. A place where we can kick back, have a good time and just enjoy each other’s company.” She nods and I can see her nervousness - the rigid set of her posture, the way she’s clutching her bag and how her eyes are darting around, likely trying to figure out where we’re headed. I reach over and take her hand. “Relax, okay? We’re going to Rustler’s Rooste. We’ll have good food, a fantastic view and hopefully interesting conversation. Sound good? Ever been there before?”

  The tension in her shoulders eases and she even holds my hand in return and manages a small smile. I’m fucking magic. I feel bad for spiking her nerves yet, at the same time, wonder why she’s so wound up. “No, I haven’t, but I’ve heard of it.”

  “I think you’ll like it. It’s a fun atmosphere.”

  “Sounds good. And I am hungry.”

  “Good.”

  It doesn’t take us long to arrive and I’m a little irritated the valet attendant helps her out of the car before I have a chance to myself. She starts to head for the door, but I steer her slightly left of the entrance, up a wood incline and hold her hand, watching as she peers over the wood gate and lays eyes on the large bull housed there. She looks between the bull and me a couple times, but she never says what she’s thinking. She shakes her head a little, clearly deciding it best to let her first impression go unstated. I usher her inside and as she glimpses the décor and feels the ambiance a look of both relief and calm crosses her features. She starts to walk forward, but pauses, “I’m probably a little over dressed,” she says gesturing to herself.