Moving Inward- The Journey to Meditation

by Rolf Sovik

  It takes great courage at times to refrain from struggling with our own thoughts and emotions. In his book Being Peace, the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh writes clearly about this idea:If I have a feeling of anger, how would I meditate on that? I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight, to have surgery in order to remove it. I know that anger is me, and I am anger. Non-duality, not two. I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with non-violence. Because anger is me, I have to tend my anger as I would tend a younger brother or sister, with love, with care, because I myself am anger, I am in it, I am it. If we annihilate anger, we annihilate ourselves.

  Just as you are the product of deep and inscrutable forces and are in perpetual need of self-acceptance and understanding, so the thoughts that arise in your mind are a momentary version of you. They are not to be hated or unloved either. So the second principle is to remain a witness to your thoughts and to show compassion and understanding toward the forces of the mind that disturb concentration.

  The third principle to help you with the play of the mind is to recognize the impermanence of passing thoughts. When the play of energies within your mind breaks into consciousness, it will momentarily transform you. Instead of resting in the center of your awareness, you will become a concerned student hoping to pass a difficult exam, a lover seeking the attention of a loving partner, or an employee chronically late for work. You may have the complex reactions of a puzzled parent whose child was caught stealing, a hungry dieter facing a long afternoon at a wedding reception, or an intellectual about to make a proposal of marriage. You may feel yourself on the edge of a wave but still holding on to your breath awareness—the mind bulging toward some unknown thought like the head of a cartoon character whose rubbery skull is being stretched by something trying to get out.

  These are all passing waves. That is the third principle: the boat is definitely tossed about, but the waves are all passing through. By maintaining awareness of the breath, your mooring is steadied. The waves are not at the center of your being; they revolve around it. Breath awareness anchors you both to your breath and to yourself. And it is that that calms and steadies your mind.

  The Practice

  1. As you meditate, bring the flow of breath into your awareness. Sense the breath at the abdomen and in the lower rib cage. Don’t worry about mechanics at first—simply feel the movement of the breath, out and in.

  2. Shape the breath. Use quiet attention to establish a deep, relaxed breath. Each breath flows slowly and without pause.

  3. Relax your effort. As the breath flows effortlessly, it will calm your nervous system.

  4. Bring your awareness to the touch of breath in the nostrils. Take time to gradually focus your attention there, sensing the touch of each breath rather than energizing passing thoughts.

  5. Deepen and lengthen the time spent with the nostril focus.

  6. When other thoughts arise, do not condemn them. They are you. You are the thoughts. But let them pass by without giving them new attention.

  7. Move toward the center of your being. Rest in the touch of each breath and sense the presence of your being.

  Techniques for Breath Awareness

  The best things in life are nearest:

  Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet,

  duties at your hand, the path of right just before you.

  —Robert Louis Stevenson

  “Breathing in progress here.” I saw this notice attached to a friend’s computer recently. She had decided to take daily relaxation breaks by focusing on breathing, and the little sign served as a reminder. Breath awareness—observing the flow of breathing—had become an important part of her life.

  My friend is not alone. For centuries, individuals from every culture have been drawn to the practice of breath awareness. Why? In a lecture given to students of the Zen tradition, the master Yasutani-Roshi (1885-1973) gave this explanation:There are many good methods of concentration bequeathed to us by our predecessors in Zen. The easiest for beginners is counting incoming and outgoing breaths. The value of this particular exercise lies in the fact that all reasoning is excluded and the discriminative mind put at rest. Thus the waves of thought are stilled and a gradual one-pointedness of mind achieved.

  Yasutani-Roshi guided students in a variety of techniques for practicing breath awareness, beginning with counting the breaths and culminating in the instruction to stop counting and begin “trying to experience each breath clearly.”

  The practice of watching the breath was widely advocated by early Christian teachers as well. For example, the eighth-century orthodox abbot Saint Hesychios described the practice of watchfulness (a deep, mindful detachment), then linked it to breathing with this telling imagery:Every monk will be uncertain about his spiritual work until he has achieved watchfulness. . . . Watchfulness is the heart’s stillness and, when free from mental images, it is the guarding of the intellect. . . . With your breathing combine watchfulness.

  Breath awareness, as we have already seen, is also thoroughly integrated into the yoga tradition. It plays a role in every aspect of practice, from the performance of asanas to meditation. In fact, breath awareness is so important that it is not unusual for instructors to claim that without it, yoga is not yoga.

  With such impressive credentials, you might imagine that breath awareness training centers would have sprung up everywhere. But the reality is that training in breath awareness is often disorganized and rarely brought to the lofty outcomes described by traditional masters. Let’s take a look at breath awareness from a slightly different point of view from the one we pursued in the previous chapter.

  First Steps

  Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and bring your attention to your breathing. Follow it much like you might follow the movements of a tennis volley on television—out and in, out and in. Sense the variations that take place in breath flow. Notice whether your breathing is comfortable or uncomfortable.

  Now change your posture. Feel the sensation of breath in your new position. Notice any sighing or unusual breaths. Don’t be alarmed by them—just notice them. The next time you are walking, watch your breath again. Out and in, out and in. You will soon find that you can observe your breathing in any situation you choose.

  Be aware of your breathing under less than perfect conditions—as you climb a long flight of stairs, for example, or swim underwater. Watch your breath in the shower, when water is flowing over your face. Notice your breathing as you are tying your shoes. Your goal is to observe your breathing with a certain detachment. Become the student of your own breath and learn just how resilient and accommodating your breathing really is.

  Where will this breath awareness lead? The next step is to learn to use breath awareness as a means for calming and focusing the mind. Short periods of practice can be incorporated into your day, or you can integrate what you are about to learn directly into longer periods of meditation.

  The Mind and the Senses

  In an earlier chapter we spoke of ten senses, five cognitive and five active senses. We can add an eleventh to our list—the sensory mind, which acts as the coordinator of the other ten. During the course of the day, each sense habitually seeks objects that give it pleasure. The mind is the most subtle and insistent in this regard because it gathers pleasures through all the other senses, as well as through its own source of pleasure, imagination.

  When the activities of the mind and senses are quieted, the senses rest. To some degree, this happens unconsciously during sleep, but at that time the mind often remains active in dreaming. In yoga, the senses and mind are rested consciously, and this results in a gradual interiorizing of awareness (the fifth rung of Patanjali’s ashtanga yoga, termed pratyahara). To achieve this, relaxation methods are merged with prolonged periods of breath awareness.

  The practice begins with simple diaphragmatic breathing and a brief relaxation exercise. Then, by bringing awareness
to the touch of the breath as it passes through the nostrils, attention is focused. This concentration on the touch of breath causes the other senses to become increasingly dormant. Their activity recedes, just as transient sounds in a room seem to disappear when you are focused on the words of a person speaking directly to you.

  Gradually, the sensation of the breath becomes highly refined. It provides only the most subtle stimulus for awareness. The mind is quieted; agitation is pacified; desires are calmed. The mental focus prevents the mind from diverting energy toward distracting thoughts, and in this way breath awareness protects the mind. The depth of this process depends upon the constancy of your breath awareness, of course, but as you gradually increase the time you devote to your practice, it will unfold naturally.

  Counting the Breaths

  A practice that can be extremely helpful in developing breath awareness is the practice of counting the breaths. Counting helps link attention to the breath by providing an audible focus (the sound in the mind) and by making it obvious when you have lost focus (“Where am I now?”). Breath counting can also be done while walking, exercising, or during other routine activities. A friend recently told me that a two-hour drive he commonly made for his work had never gone so smoothly as when he had spelled himself with periods of breath counting.

  • Begin by sitting comfortably erect on a cushion, bench, or chair. Close your eyes and rest your body. Soften the sides of the lower rib cage as well as the abdominal wall. This will allow the breath to flow smoothly and easily.

  • As you have done before, notice the cleansing sensation of the breath as it flows out and the nourishing sensation of the breath as it flows in. Breathe without pause, gradually sensing that the breath is flowing effortlessly.

  • Now briefly relax from the head down to the toes, and from the toes back to the head. Soften and release tensions. When you have returned to the crown of your head, sense your entire body and breathe as if your whole body breathes.

  • Next, shift your attention to the touch of the breath in the nostrils. Feel each breath as it flows out and in. The touch of the exhalation is warm and the touch of the inhalation is cool. Your breath flows diaphragmatically, without any pause between breaths. Allow some time for the mind to focus on the touch of breath, and notice how your attention gradually becomes more stable.

  • As you continue to feel the breath at the nostrils, begin to silently count the breaths in your mind. As you exhale count “one . . .”; inhale, “two . . .”; exhale, “three . . .”; inhale, “four . . .”; exhale, “five . . .”; inhale, “five . . .”; exhale, “four . . .”; inhale, “three . . .”; exhale, two . . .”; inhale, “one . . .” Now begin again and continue to count each breath, following the same pattern:

  • The sound of each number is recited over the entire length of the breath. This is soothing and will settle the mind’s restlessness.

  • Continue counting for three to five minutes, gradually relaxing your effort but maintaining the count.

  • Counting the breaths will strengthen your concentration and alert you when your mind has wandered. When your mind tires, you will know that it is time to finish. At that point, stop counting but follow the breath a bit longer without counting, simply resting your mind. Then, when you are ready, open your eyes and draw your awareness outward.

  Breath Awareness Without Breath Counting

  Attention to the breath can also be sustained without counting. In this version of practice, the touch of breath itself becomes the anchor for attention. Like a musician who “thinks” in musical sounds or an artist whose mind is so filled with visual imagery that other modalities of thought do not register, a meditator allows the sensation of breathing to fully occupy the mind. The breath is experienced simply and directly, and passing thoughts do not disturb the purity of concentration. To practice this method, once more:

  • Shift your attention to the touch of the breath in the nostrils. Feel each breath as it flows out and in. The touch of the exhalation is warm, and the touch of the inhalation is cool. Your breath flows diaphragmatically, without any pause between breaths. Allow some time for the mind to focus on the touch of breath, and notice how your attention gradually becomes more stable.

  • As you feel the touch of each breath, pay attention to the moments when the breath changes from one direction to the other. At these times, it is easy for the mind to wander. Follow the breath carefully through the transition from one breath to the next, without letting your mind become distracted. There is no break in your breathing and no break in your awareness.

  • As this process continues, you may find that your mind has become restless. You may decide that you have focused on the sensation of the breath long enough. You may wonder when you will be ready to go on to some other practice. You may not see any benefit or derive any exciting experience from this practice. All these can be interpreted as signs of progress, so long as you do not pay attention to them. Witness your thoughts, but maintain your awareness of the touch of your breath.

  • When your awareness wanders, gently bring it back to the breath. Do not think critical thoughts about yourself. Do not expect your mind to stop thinking. Simply continue with your effort until even the effort begins to relax.

  • You will learn to rest in the presence of your own consciousness, in a wordless, soundless silence that arises despite the talking and imagery that simultaneously continues in your mind. Some meditators liken this experience to slipping beneath the surface of the waves while snorkeling. The waves have not disappeared, but they have lost their power to toss and turn you.

  • Be attentive to your mental process in a soft and yielding manner, yet when the mind becomes distracted, lead it back to your focus. Weave each breath into the next, and let your awareness sense the movements of the breath with unwavering steadiness.

  • Finally, as you continue to feel the breath in the nostrils, relax even your effort. Sense the simple presence of your being.

  The Heart’s Stillness

  This nearly brings our journey to its end. Quiet states of breath awareness soon pass beyond words. They have their own logic, and intuition is the best guide to pursuing them once they have been established.

  Distracting thoughts do unfailingly return—reminders that the meditative journey is not yet over—but when they are distant and the imagination calmed, then Saint Hesychios’s words seem perfectly chosen: “Watchfulness is the heart’s stillness and, when free from mental images, it is the guarding of the intellect.” This is the nature of breath awareness.

  The path of breath awareness can carry you a long way. If it appeals to you, you might consider, like my friend, posting some sort of sign as a reminder to practice. Perhaps a good sign might read: “With your breathing combine watchfulness.”

  Breathing Through Emotions

  That emotion is impure which seizes only

  one side of your being and so distorts you.

  —Rainer Marie Rilke

  The pain of negative emotions—our sorrows, anxieties, and jealousies—is as real as physical pain. Although we tend to emotional pain just as naturally as we tend a badly sprained ankle or an infected tooth, it can be more difficult to alleviate. During periods of anxiety, for example, it may be hard to know what we are anxious about; anger frequently results in a level of chaos and confusion that is difficult to sort through; and sadness over a lost relationship can be difficult to resolve without self-blame. Addressing emotional pain requires skill and self-awareness.

  Relieving emotional pain is more difficult when we react defensively. The two common methods for dealing with this kind of pain—suppressing it or projecting it onto the world around us—offer only temporary relief. Suppression is the effort to exclude unpleasant thoughts and feelings from awareness (trying not to think about them). Later, however, they will crop up again when we are not guarding against them. Projection is attributing the cause of our feelings to someone or something outside ourselves—hurling
a golf club after a poor shot, for example. By projecting anger onto the club, we separate ourselves momentarily from the frustration of having made a bad shot, but this does not resolve the feeling.

  As painful as negative emotions are, they offer an opportunity to delve beneath the surface of the mind and examine areas of our life we normally avoid. And in so doing we learn to see ourselves clearly and resolve negative emotions at their source. Unfortunately, when we are driven by defensive reactions or overwhelmed by the unpleasantness of our emotions, we lose this chance. Yoga offers a practical alternative—the opportunity to begin to manage the pain associated with negative emotions by managing our breath. Breath awareness can first help us reduce our defensiveness and then provide an inner environment that allows us to address the sources of emotional pain. Let’s see how.

  Emotions and the Breath