A Surrendered Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  Mr. Jackson made no comment on the beauty of the island or the amazing views of the river as they headed southward. Instead, he maintained a downward focus. Perhaps he feared tripping on a branch or a rock. She did her best to draw him into conversation, but it seemed he had no interest in the magnificence of the island. Her attempt to provide him with a brief history had been met with a quick silencing glare.

  Curling his fingers into his palm and using his thumb to point back toward the island mansion, he asked, “Who owns the house and this island? The entire family? Your father? Who?”

  She hesitated, uncertain why he would ask and not sure she had an answer. “My grandparents owned this island. I’m not sure what distribution has been made since my grandfather’s death. I believe there was some stipulation in the will that it remain in the family. Why do you ask?”

  “Because I want to know.”

  His curt response annoyed her. “There are several islands currently for sale. Several have homes even larger than—”

  “I don’t want to buy an island. And if I did want to purchase property, I wouldn’t seek the advice of a woman.”

  He emphasized the final words as though he intended each one to deliver a fatal blow. And they had—to her ego. If she didn’t change the topic, she might tell him exactly what she thought of him.

  “I’ve been completing the wedding plans and thought you might want to offer some suggestions. Other than insisting the wedding take place at the church on Round Island, you’ve not indicated your preferences.”

  “I don’t care a whit about the wedding plans. The wedding is simply something I will abide for your sake. I agreed to a formal wedding only to satisfy your father’s need to pander to the social crowd.”

  “I believe he was thinking of you, also,” Amanda said. “Without a gala affair, gossip would run rampant. I doubt such talk would serve you well.”

  He laughed. “I have never worried what others thought of me. I don’t need their approval. Your entire family concerns itself far too much with the wagging tongues of Rochester society. I have succeeded in spite of them. And you, my dear, will learn they are of little import once we are married. Let them attend the wedding, but that shall be the end of such nonsense.”

  She wanted to ask if he planned to keep her away from her family, but she feared his response. “Then I may continue to make all of the arrangements without seeking your approval?”

  He pulled her close. His dark eyes bore down on her like a vulture prepared to attack. “The only thing that interests me is our wedding night. Make certain you prepare for that event.”

  Amanda squared her shoulders but didn’t fight his hold. “You know that I am an innocent woman. Why must you speak to me in such a manner? I may be trained in various medical procedures, but I have never been with a man.” She surprised them both with her bold statement.

  His harsh laughter cut through the morning breeze and echoed through the treetops. In spite of her best effort to remain calm, she shuddered. Ellert pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m pleased to hear that you are innocent, but in truth your fear already betrayed that fact. And I find it exciting. Fear enhances everything, don’t you think?”

  “Don’t you mean desire enhances everything? Shouldn’t both a man and a woman look forward to their wedding and their life together? Fear has such a negative connotation. I fear things I don’t understand—destructive, mean, evil things.” She raised a brow. “Surely you would not have me think thus of you. Are there not more benefits—more loyalty and respect—if I should honestly and completely love you?”

  He looked at her for a moment. It was clear he was taken off guard by her comment. He softened his hold and let his fingers skim her cheek. Amanda took the opportunity to continue.

  “I know the arrangement you’ve made with my father. Whatever hard feelings and ill will that lay between you two needn’t come between us. I am willing to help my family in the demanded manner, despite the fact that my loved ones and friends think me mad. However, I would much rather have a husband to whom I could look up to and respect, love, and obey, as you once mentioned, with a glad and willing heart.”

  He pulled back as if her skin had suddenly burned him. Ellert looked at her oddly for a moment, and then his features hardened. “I thought you a woman of intelligence, but I can see you hold the same nonsensical beliefs as the rest of your gender. I care nothing about your desires or love. I demand your respect and obedience, and I find that fear is often the best way to get both. You will learn quickly just how cruel and hard I can be, both in public and private, when I am crossed or otherwise made to look the fool.”

  His words and behavior appalled Amanda, but she fought to remain calm. She must attempt to find some common ground with this man if she was to spend the rest of her life with him. Perhaps it would help if she could discover his interests. Amanda forced herself to take hold of his arm. “Let us continue our walk. Tell me of your business ventures. What interests you the most?”

  “Anything that will make me money. I don’t give in to the whims of what I might like or dislike. If it is a venture that will add to my holdings, I am interested. Although I abhor the boorish stupidity and the silly games played by social elitists, I do enjoy the many comforts money can buy. And I’m not opposed to purchasing occasional trinkets for myself or for those who show me loyalty.”

  Amanda was quite certain he didn’t frown upon worldly possessions, at least for himself. The servants had been quick to tell her that Mr. Jackson had arrived with seven huge trunks filled with tailor-made suits and more shoes than had been brought by any other guest who’d ever visited Broadmoor Island—male or female. Amanda had been keeping a close watch, and as yet she hadn’t seen him wear the same pair of shoes more than once. No doubt he was a man who would take a great deal of understanding, but becoming better acquainted with Ellert Jackson was proving most difficult.

  She watched a boat pass by carrying a group of sightseers pointing at various islands. They appeared carefree and happy. She wondered if they’d enjoy a picnic lunch later in the day. Ellert remained a short distance from the edge of the bluff, and she turned to wave him forward. “There is a particularly lovely view from this vantage point.”

  “I’ve never been overly fond of the water. The view is fine from here.”

  His words affirmed his earlier comment. If he didn’t enjoy the water, he would never buy one of the islands. She had hoped he might consider a summer home so that she could visit with Fanny and Sophie each year. Of course, he’d not yet said where they would make their permanent home. The thought of life without her cousins close by spurred her to ask, “Where we will make our home once we are married?”

  “In New York City. I purchased an estate when I first moved to the city. It was constructed more than a century ago, but it has been well maintained and has been furnished with all of the modern amenities found in your Rochester mansion. I believe it is far superior to any home in Rochester.” He crooked his finger and beckoned her to his side.

  Though she would have preferred to maintain the distance between them, she did as he bid. If she hoped to persuade him to change his mind, she’d need to appear malleable. “I had hoped we might live in Rochester, at least part of the year. I’ve always been surrounded by family members. I’m sure you understand my desire to remain close to them.”

  “If you remain near your home and family, you’ll never become reliant upon me.” He pulled her close in an ironlike grip. “I don’t want your family involved in my life—only you, dear Amanda.” He chuckled at her frown. “You’d be rushing home to cry on your mother’s shoulder every time you were unhappy. Then your father would pay me a visit and plead with me to behave like a good husband.” Ellert shook his head. “I don’t want interference in my business ventures or in my home.”

  “But they won’t interfere. I wouldn’t allow for it.”

  “Don’t whine at me. I’ve seen some of the things yo
u’re capable of, my dear. I know now that I must put you fully in your place or we might never know a moment’s peace.” His face contorted, and it was almost as if he became someone else. “I won’t tolerate you putting others between us.”

  “I would never do such a thing if only you will agree to live in Rochester. I can’t bear to think of losing the companionship of my cousins. I have lived in Rochester my entire life, and my family is of great importance to me. Won’t you please reconsider?” When he didn’t respond, she decided to plead her case a bit further. “You are aware I’ve been working with the impoverished in Rochester, and I truly desire to continue my work. I have begun my training to become a physician and realize it is my life’s calling. I love medicine and want to continue. You have often commented that I might do exactly that and—”

  He yanked her forward and pushed her against a nearby tree with a ferocity that knocked the wind from her lungs. His transformation from gentleman to monster was complete. Unable to speak, Amanda stared at him in disbelief. He bared his teeth like a mad dog.

  “I know exactly how much you love medicine—I saw you along the shore of Round Island with Dr. Carstead. Tell me, what medical procedure was he teaching you when I saw you locked in his embrace?”

  She cowered as he leaned even closer, his hot breath on her face. With his free hand he yanked her hair until her head tipped back against the tree.

  “Look at me when I speak to you!”

  Hands trembling, she forced herself to meet his hardened stare. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Sorry? If you know what is good for you, you will heed my words. In the future there will be severe consequences for such behavior. As I said, I will not tolerate being made the fool, and I will punish betrayal. If our wedding were not close at hand, I’d show you what punishment you can expect in the future. You can count yourself fortunate that I don’t want you marked up for our blessed nuptials.”

  Her scalp throbbed with pain when he finally released her hair, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her massage her head. She thought he’d finished with her, but when she attempted to take a sideward step, he pushed her back.

  “You will move when I tell you to move! Your life with me will be as I direct. The only decision you will make is to follow my instruction. You will not come or go without my approval, and you will see no one unless I’ve given my consent. On the other hand, you will likely hear the servants whisper about consorts who will visit my bedchamber from time to time. I tire of women easily, and I’m certain you’ll be no different than any other. You should prepare yourself to become accustomed to my habits.”

  “Then why marry me?” The question slipped from her mouth before she’d given thought to his reaction.

  He drew back his hand as if to slap her and then stopped only inches from her face. “You are slow to learn, aren’t you? I am the one who asks the questions.” A cruel smirk played on his lips. “However, this one time I shall answer you because you are a silly woman with naïve beliefs about men and women. My marriage to you is nothing more than a means of repaying your father for the cruelty he heaped upon me when I was a young man. I must admit there is the added benefit of causing other members of your family a great deal of pain.” He shrugged. “Besides, the marriage will require nothing of me. I will continue to live in the same fashion I’ve always enjoyed, but I shall have a pretty young wife on my arm and in my bed whenever I choose. And she’s a Broadmoor. All of society will bow at my feet for the chance to share such an auspicious connection.” He pinched her cheek until she was afraid it had turned bloodred. “I have told you how I enjoy inflicting pain, haven’t I?”

  She didn’t know if she should answer, but when he arched his brows, she said, “Yes, you’ve told me several times.”

  “Good. I’m pleased to see there’s something you remember. I can play whatever part I need to in order to accomplish what I desire. If you dare to tell anyone of this encounter, I will merely appear as gentle as a lamb, with such tenderness and concern for you that your friends and family will immediately believe you mad. You would do well to hone your own acting skills and portray in public the obedient and desirable little wife that I intend you to be.” He let her go, and Amanda immediately put her hand to her cheek.

  “Don’t worry, it won’t bruise. But please remember this. Should you do anything more to betray me—should you mention this incident—should you so much as tell your father that you do not wish to be married, I will find a way to hurt you more deeply than you can possibly imagine. It wouldn’t be all that hard to create an accident for your dear Dr. Carstead.”

  “No!” Amanda couldn’t even try to pretend his threat hadn’t hit her hard. “Don’t hurt him.”

  He grinned at her coldly. “I see it must be true love for you to react in such a near hysterical manner. At least we both know now exactly how to keep you in line.”

  Amanda didn’t respond. There was no need. Finding any hint of goodness in this man would be impossible. Life as she had known it would end on the nineteenth day of August.

  Friday, July 28, 1899

  Rochester, New York

  Blake ignored the knock at his front door. He was unable to offer aid to anyone at the moment. Since his return to Rochester, he’d been rendered completely useless. Each day had been consumed with endless thoughts of how he could rescue Amanda from Ellert Jackson. He didn’t consider himself a poor man, yet he was far from wealthy. There was no way he could raise enough money to save Amanda. With only his small house and his medical instruments for collateral, any banker would laugh at a request for a sizable loan. His thoughts continued to race to and fro as the incessant knocking continued.

  “Blake! Answer the door. It’s Paul Medford. I need to speak to you.”

  “I can’t see any patients today.”

  “I haven’t come about a patient. We need to talk. I’m willing to shout through the window, but I don’t think you want the entire neighborhood listening to our conversation, do you?”

  Blake raked his fingers through his uncombed hair and plodded across the kitchen and through the parlor to the front hallway. Twisting the key, he unlocked the door and pulled it open. He met Paul’s startled expression. “Well, what is it that’s so important?”

  “You look like death itself, Blake. Have you had any sleep or considered some hot water and a razor?”

  Blake rubbed his palm across the stubble on his jaw. “Ever since my return from the island, I’ve been consumed with—”

  “Helping Amanda. I told Quincy I assumed that was the case. But locking yourself in the house is not going to help. Quincy wants to speak with you. Perhaps the three of us can put our heads together and come up with an idea. Besides, you look like you could use a good meal.”

  Blake took a backward step and shook his head. “I don’t want to be around anyone right now. I’m in no condition to lend aid to the sick. I can’t even help myself right now.”

  “Please come with me, Blake. We don’t expect you to care for anyone. Just come and talk with us. You need some fresh air and a different perspective.” Paul clasped Blake’s shoulder and pulled him forward. “Come along. You’ll feel better. I promise.”

  Blake considered shoving Paul out the door and retreating back into the kitchen, but he knew such an idea was foolhardy. He could see the determination in Paul’s eyes. The man would not be deterred. “I won’t stay long.”

  Paul didn’t argue or say much of anything except to comment on the warm weather until they’d arrived at the Home and were settled in Quincy’s office. “It’s just as I thought. He’s dejected over Amanda’s approaching marriage.”

  Quincy frowned. “You don’t look good, Blake. I know you love Amanda and had hoped to convince her to set aside her marriage plans, but you can’t permit her rejection to ruin your life. You have your work, and there are many eligible young ladies who would be delighted to have you as a suitor. Believe me, I know whereof I speak. I
sn’t that true, Paul?”

  Paul nodded his agreement. “He’s absolutely correct. Only yesterday Lila Harkness was asking about you. I believe she’s hoping that you’ll come calling.”

  Blake massaged his forehead. What were these men thinking? “I don’t believe you understand my dilemma.”

  “Of course we do, my boy.” Quincy patted his shoulder. “We’ve all gone through the ups and downs of love and rejection. If Amanda has decided she wants to marry Ellert Jackson, then you must determine to move forward with your own life. It’s simply the way of things.”

  “But she didn’t reject me,” Blake said. Before either of the men could interrupt him again, he explained what had occurred when Amanda had come to Round Island. “We love each other, but her father is forcing her to marry Ellert in order to save himself from financial ruin.”

  Mouth agape, Quincy sat up straight. “Jonas has bargained away his own daughter? How could he?”

  “I’m sure you know him better than I do, but it seems that money and social status are the driving force behind his decision. I’ve tried to come up with a solution that would resolve this entire matter, but money is the only answer. And I don’t have access to enough money to be of assistance.”

  Quincy hunched forward and rested his arms across his thighs. “I don’t want to believe my brother would lower himself to such an arrangement, but I don’t doubt your word, Blake. There is nothing left but for me to do but return to the island and speak to Jonas. I knew he had business dealings with Ellert years ago, but I didn’t know they’d recently entered into any business contracts. Then again, Jonas seldom confides in me. I must find out exactly what agreement he’s made with Ellert.” He shook his head. “None of this makes sense.”

  “When will you go?” Blake asked.

  Quincy appeared dazed when he looked up. “I think I should catch the next train to Clayton. If things are as you say, we will need as much time as possible to get this all straightened out.”