A Surrendered Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  “We do, and I know Michael would agree to give Amanda sufficient funds, but that doesn’t resolve the problem.”

  Amanda nodded. “She’s right, Sophie. Ellert has threatened to harm too many people if I refuse to go through with the marriage.” She didn’t feel she could share the threat Ellert had made on Blake’s life, so she continued from a different angle. “My escape would leave the family in financial ruination. Although Mother thinks she could survive such a disaster, I know she could not. And though my father has brought this upon himself, I believe he would take his own life rather than face the social ostracism that would follow public knowledge of his financial ruination.”

  She met Fanny’s surprised expression. “I know he said your father was weak and pitiable for such an action years ago, but that was before my father faced his own personal demons. I think he has amassed more insight at this point in his life and more fully understands the depth of despair that can overwhelm the mind.”

  “I hope he will never meet such an end, for there is always hope when we look to the Lord for guidance. Mrs. Atwell has helped me to understand that there is no problem that cannot be conquered with God’s help.”

  Sophie nibbled her lip. “Then why don’t we have an answer for Amanda’s dilemma?”

  Fanny sighed. “I’m not certain, but I continue to pray and trust that when the time is right, she will be delivered from this situation. To that end we must all remain diligent in our prayers.”

  “Agreed,” Amanda replied.

  Fanny and Amanda stared at Sophie.

  “Agreed,” Sophie muttered. “But God had better hurry up, or you’re going to be in New York City before the end of the month.”

  Not only did a seamstress and helper arrive at the island, but Mrs. Smithfield, the owner of the dress shop, came along to oversee the fittings. Though Amanda couldn’t be certain, she guessed that Ellert had paid dearly for the service. Much to Amanda’s relief, Mrs. Smithfield insisted he remain far away from the upstairs guest room that the servants had converted into a fitting room. The furniture had been moved to one side of the room or shoved into the hallway to provide adequate space for the seamstresses to complete their assigned tasks.

  The time with her cousins proved to be a mixture of joy and sorrow. They laughed and reminisced about their very first grown-up dresses and many of the dresses they’d worn since that time. Yet beneath the laughter remained the foreboding that this might be last time they would be permitted to enjoy the company of one another. When Mrs. Smithfield finally announced that their task had been completed and she would return with the finished gowns the day before the wedding, Amanda longed to summon her back and insist upon one more fitting. Anything to prolong this time with her cousins and away from Ellert’s watchful eye.

  Amanda remained in the room while the seamstresses followed Mrs. Smithfield like chicks scurrying after a mother hen. How she wished she could follow them to Rochester and go back to her work at the Home for the Friendless and to the warmth of Blake’s arms.

  A short time later she trudged down the rear stairs, through the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the library in search of a book that might take her mind off of the approaching wedding and her future with Ellert. Slowly she traced her fingers along the leather spines, hoping one of the titles would capture her interest.

  The sound of the approaching footsteps caused her to glance over her shoulder. “Good afternoon, Father. I’m looking for a book.”

  “I’ve been looking for you ever since the seamstresses departed. Please come and sit down.” He closed the door and drew a deep breath.

  Her father’s somber appearance and the fact that he had closed the door weren’t good signs. Had he been seeking her out to deliver additional bad news? She truly didn’t know if she could withstand anything further, yet it appeared there was little choice but to hear him out. She trudged toward the chair, her feet growing heavier with each step.

  He waved her onward with a waning smile. When she’d dropped into the chair beside him, he leaned toward her. “I owe you a deep apology for what I’ve done to you, and I want you to know how much I regret the decision I made with Ellert Jackson. If I could withdraw from my contract with him, I would do so. I truly never meant for things to come to this. My greed and desire for power have proved to be my undoing and created a tragic circumstance for the entire family—but more than any other, I have inflicted tragedy upon you.”

  She was taken aback by the sight of tears forming in his eyes. Never had she seen her father cry. The idea that he could feel such sadness disarmed her. “Father, I . . .”

  He shook his head. “Let me finish while I have the courage.” It seemed he could not look at her. Instead, he stared at his highly polished shoes. “Throughout my life, I have prided myself in the fact that I could control every situation. Now I find myself up against something that surpasses my own abilities. I can find no way out of this disaster I’ve created.”

  She spied a single teardrop on his shoe. If he noticed, he made no move to wipe it away. How had their lives come to this? Her father weak and defeated—the rest of the family suffering the pain of his decisions. This was a time that should be filled with joy and happiness. Instead, they were all overcome by grief and despair. She reached out and rested her hand on her father’s thick arm. “Please don’t continue to berate yourself. Although I doubt I will ever be happy with Ellert Jackson, I am resigned to my role as his wife, and I forgive you for what you’ve done. I pray you will never consider committing such a misdeed again, but I cannot leave home holding this against you.”

  He reached forward and cupped her face between his palms, then kissed her on the forehead. “I am forever grateful and overwhelmed by your compassion. I don’t deserve such a daughter as you.”

  25

  Friday, August 18, 1899

  Amanda stood on the dock holding Ellert’s arm while members of the wedding party boarded the New Island Wanderer for their brief journey to Round Island for the wedding rehearsal. Ellert had chartered Captain Visegar’s boat for the entire weekend. It was a silly and unnecessary expense, as far as Amanda was concerned. She hoped Mr. Atwell hadn’t been offended by Ellert’s arrangement, for the DaisyBee would have proved more than adequate for their needs throughout the weekend.

  “I believe that’s everyone,” Ellert said.

  “No,” Amanda replied, pulling from his hold. “Sophie and Paul haven’t arrived.” As if on cue, Sophie scuttled down the path, her skirts hiked above her ankles.

  Ellert curled his lip in a look of disgust. “Your cousin will be late to her own funeral.”

  “She has a baby who requires her time and attention. Besides, she’s not late. She’s exactly on time.” Amanda didn’t give Ellert an opportunity to refute the comment before she hastened to greet Sophie.

  “I’m sorry if I’ve kept you waiting. Elizabeth sensed I was leaving her with the nanny and continued clinging to me. Paul is going to stay with her until she goes to sleep; then he’ll have Mr. Atwell bring him over on the DaisyBee.”

  “No apology necessary, Sophie. Come sit by me.” Amanda noted Ellert’s glare when she sat down between Fanny and Sophie. He’d expected her to remain at his side. For a man who boasted he didn’t care what others thought, he certainly appeared intent upon making an impression throughout the weekend.

  “A wedding in Rochester would have proved much simpler,” Sophie whispered.

  “Indeed. However, the plans are made, and there’s no need lamenting what is past,” Amanda replied.

  Sophie leaned closer. “Are you speaking of the wedding location or the fact that you are going to marry this man? Fanny and I can still help you escape.”

  “I do appreciate your loyalty, dear Sophie. But I have accepted that this marriage is going to take place and my future is with Ellert in New York City.”

  “And I have continued to pray that a miracle will occur and he will release you from the marriage. I fear you will be c
ompletely miserable with him, and once he moves you to New York, we’ll never see you again.”

  “I’m determined that won’t happen. We are family, and somehow I will find a way to visit you and Fanny. You must write me often and tell me about Elizabeth and her achievements.”

  After clanging the bell of the New Island Wanderer, Captain Visegar maneuvered the boat away from the dock. The water churned in seeming protest, but moments later the engine prevailed. Soon they were on their way.

  Ellert signaled for her to join him, but Amanda averted her gaze and remained between her cousins. She’d likely hear of his displeasure later in the day, but for now she’d enjoy her cousins’ company. Once they were well under way, she managed a glance at Ellert. He’d taken a seat beside her father, and the two of them were in the midst of a discussion. She hoped their conversation revolved around something other than her.

  When the boat docked at Round Island a short time later, Amanda’s father jumped to his feet and darted to her side. “Ellert is displeased that you chose to sit with your cousins rather than with him. He’s known to exhibit an unpleasant temper, Amanda. I understand your desire to visit with Fanny and Sophie, but I wouldn’t intentionally provoke him.”

  One look at Ellert was enough to confirm he had prompted the admonition. Amanda stepped forward and grasped his arm. “Do lead the way, Mr. Jackson.”

  “My pleasure, Amanda. Once we’re married, you’ll follow only my lead.” He leaned close, and his lips brushed her ear.

  She attempted to stifle the involuntary shudder that coursed through her body at the touch of his lips. How could she ever learn to love this loathsome man? Stepping into the waiting carriage, she determined to remain silent throughout the short journey to the church. She had nothing to say to him. Ellert seemed impervious to her silence, for he stared out the carriage window and made no attempt to engage her.

  Smiling broadly, the preacher stood in the doorway of the steepled church and waved them forward upon their arrival. He appeared to be the only one who bore some semblance of joy. He held his Bible in one hand and shook hands with each of the men before directing them to their respective positions inside the church. “You ladies will use this room off the foyer,” he said, walking with them into the room, “so that you may enter the church without being observed prior to the ceremony.”

  Amanda smiled and nodded as the preacher offered each directive. She cared little if Ellert saw her before she walked down the aisle. The entire marriage was a charade, yet there was no way the solemn minister could know. She covered her mouth to withhold a sudden burst of laughter, but it escaped her lips like an overflowing brook. Soon she slipped into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Tears blurred her vision when she finally caught sight of the preacher, who appeared confounded by the situation. She did her best to stop, but each attempt proved a miserable failure.

  “I believe you may have developed a case of nervous agitation, Miss Broadmoor. This sometimes happens prior to marriage. If you’ll breathe deeply and exhale slowly, I’ll fetch you a glass of water.” He hesitated. “If that doesn’t work, perhaps we should seek medical assistance for you.”

  Amanda giggled and shook her head. “No. I don’t think a doctor will be necessary.”

  “Unless you could arrange for a doctor from Rochester,” Sophie whispered.

  She nudged Sophie in the side, but the reminder of Blake proved enough to turn Amanda’s convulsive laughter to tears.

  Mouth agape, the minister pushed a chair behind her. “Sit down, Miss Broadmoor. I believe you’ve moved from nervous agitation to wedding hysteria. I will see if I can locate smelling salts.”

  Those unwelcome words were enough to stop both her laughter and her tears. Amanda straightened in her chair and pointed at the man. “Don’t you dare try to treat me with smelling salts.” The preacher took a backward step. “I apologize for my sharp retort, but I cannot abide the use of smelling salts.” She took his timid smile and nod as his agreement. “I will be fine if you’ll give me a moment to compose myself.”

  “We will begin when you are ready,” he said.

  After several slow breaths, Amanda gave a slight nod. If she waited until she was truly ready, they would never begin. Soon after the minister’s departure, the three of them exited the small room. In the foyer they were greeted by her father and her two older brothers, Grayson and William. Her younger brothers, Jefferson and George, stood near the doors to the sanctuary. They would act as ushers. Both had privately stated they’d prefer to take a beating rather than see her marry Ellert Jackson. She’d refrained from revealing the details of the arranged marriage to either Jefferson or George, and she wondered if they’d feel the same way if they knew the truth. Would they be willing to give up their lives of affluence and social standing for her sake? Perhaps. However, her older brothers and their wives wouldn’t be so sympathetic. None of them would want their lives disrupted in any manner. Jefferson and George had attended college, and although they enjoyed living well, Amanda didn’t think her younger brothers were interested in hard work—or any work, for that matter.

  The chords of the piano sounded, and Fanny glanced over her shoulder. “An organ would have been better, don’t you think?”

  “Or a piano that had been tuned,” Sophie suggested with a giggle.

  Amanda clung to her father’s arm as they walked down the aisle. After he turned her over to Ellert and retreated to her mother’s side in one of the front pews, the remainder of the rehearsal proceeded in a blur. Once they’d practiced to the minister’s satisfaction, they were dismissed with final instructions for the following day.

  “This wedding is going to be the highlight of the summer.” The preacher propelled Ellert’s arm up and down as though priming a pump. “Thank you for choosing our little church for this magnificent event.”

  “If Amanda has not already offered an invitation,” Ellert told the preacher, “you and your wife are invited to join us at the Frontenac Hotel this evening, where we’ll be enjoying dinner and an evening of festivities beginning at seven o’clock.” Ellert attempted to wrest himself free of the man’s hold.

  Amanda nearly laughed at the remark. An evening of festivities? More likely an evening of mourning. This would be her last evening to enjoy with her cousins and family before she became Ellert’s wife.

  Ellert remained close to Amanda throughout the day and didn’t even consider leaving her alone until they’d finished dinner at the hotel.

  “I’m going out on the veranda for a cigar. I’m certain you’d prefer to remain inside with your cousins.”

  “I would.”

  He nodded. “I’ll return before the dancing begins. Do not permit anyone to sign your dance card. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Abundantly.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I sincerely hope so.”

  The warm August air was heavy with the scent of rain, and Ellert glanced at the sky as he bounded down the front steps of the hotel and strode toward a distant stand of trees. Amanda’s clamoring friends and relatives were enough to send a sane man into turmoil. He much preferred solitude. This wedding was enough to reinforce his plans to avoid Amanda’s family once they were married. Until after the wedding ceremony, she could believe that he’d permit occasional visits to Rochester or that he’d extend an invitation for her family to come to New York on holiday. Tomorrow, he’d abruptly put an end to those fantasies.

  He struck a match to the tip of his cigar, leaned against the tree, and stared at the moonlight reflecting upon the water. Everything was falling into place just as he had planned. By tomorrow he’d be married to Amanda Broadmoor, and the Broadmoor family would be at his mercy. He took a deep draw on the cigar and considered the many possibilities.

  “Strange that a prospective bridegroom would be hiding out here by himself.”

  Ellert wheeled around. Anger seized him as he came face-to-face with Dr. Carstead. “What are you doing here? I know your name isn’t on the inv
itation list.”

  Blake shrugged. “This is a public hotel. I am a paying guest and am here to enjoy the pleasure of a weekend in the Thousand Islands. To my knowledge, an invitation is not necessary.”

  Ellert fought to gain control of his seething rage. How dare Blake Carstead come here and cause trouble. “We both know the only reason you’re here is to interfere with my marriage to Amanda. You have no reason to be here.” He spewed the words from between clenched teeth.

  “Quite the contrary. You know that Amanda doesn’t love you, and I don’t believe you love her, either. I’ve come here to see if we can reach an agreement so that Amanda is free to marry me.”

  The young man had courage—Ellert would give him that much. And he obviously loved Amanda, or he wouldn’t continue his attempts to interfere. Love truly was for fools—for those willing to step outside the realm of reasonable contemplation. He was glad he would never have to count himself among such foolish people.

  “If you know what is good for you, you’ll go back to Rochester and forget Amanda. I’m certain any number of young ladies would be pleased to become your wife.” He gripped Blake’s shoulder in a tight hold. “The circumstances surrounding my marriage to Amanda are none of your business. And they are far beyond your understanding, Dr. Carstead.”

  Blake twisted free of Ellert’s hold and pinned him with a defiant glare. “You’re wrong. I know exactly what has transpired between you and Jonas Broadmoor.”

  Ellert inwardly raged while he listened to Blake recount detailed information of his agreement with Jonas. Obviously Amanda and the young doctor had been doing more than kissing the morning he spotted them together on this very island. Like one of those old dowagers who whiled away the afternoon with tea and gossip, Amanda had passed along her arsenal of information. Just like her father! A genuine fool. She’d take more training than he’d thought.

  When Blake had finally completed his onslaught, Ellert tossed his cigar to the ground and crushed it with the sole of his shoe. “I’ve heard enough.” He took a step closer and grasped Blake’s arm. “Now, you listen to me, Dr. Carstead. Either you put aside any thought of marriage to Amanda and forget all of what you’ve been told, or I’ll have to see that your handsome face receives a bit of damage. Those pretty girls in Rochester might not be nearly as interested in you once you’ve met with an accident. Do I make myself clear?”