Penance

by K E Osborn

  Heath loops his arm around my waist and helps me walk out to his truck. He opens the door and carefully guides me into the passenger seat. I don’t need the help, but I appreciate it, and as I sit here, I take a moment to really think about what happened.

  Vince choked me.

  If Heath hadn’t come in when he did, this might have had a very different outcome.

  If Heath had taken even a little longer to reach me, Vince might have succeeded in choking me to death. A shudder runs down my spine as Heath jumps in the driver’s side.

  He looks at me raising his brow. “You okay?”

  I nod, and he places his hand on my knee supportively with a squeeze, then puts the truck into gear and heads off out of the garage to the hospital.

  AYLA

  The wait at the hospital took forever, but eventually I was seen and given the all clear with the notice that if my throat starts to feel like it’s closing, I need to come back. The bruising is intense, and the hoarseness should go quickly, but the scars of this happening will be with me for a while.

  The whole time I was at the hospital all I wanted to do was message Sensei. But I knew the minute I did, he would come to me, and I’d have to try and dissuade him from going after Vince, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with that. As much as I didn’t want to, I had to keep Sensei away from Vince until I was sure things are safe. I didn’t want Sensei sharing a cell with Vince because I know regardless of what I said to him, he wouldn’t be able hold himself back. I need Sensei right now with me.

  After giving my statement to the police, along with Heath who witnessed the whole thing, I was put at ease when they told me Vince had been placed in custody while they were filing charges. Heath and I were relieved to know that at least he was being held, and for the moment, I am safe.

  Here’s hoping the thought of him doing time in jail, and also a biker club coming after him, is enough to deter Vince into not coming after me again when he’s released.

  Heath’s now driving me home after a freaking long day, and he glances at me sideways and sighs. “Are you really okay?”

  I weakly smile at him and nod. “Yeah, just been a long day…” I lie trying to ease my sore throat, it doesn’t work. “I haven’t thanked you for coming in when you did…” I pause, a tear rests on my bottom lid, but I don’t let it fall. “If you hadn’t… I don’t…” I pause again not knowing how to finish that sentence.

  He moves his hand to my knee and squeezes. “Hey, luckily the guy’s an idiot and did it in Dad’s office where there’s a big-ass window, so I saw the whole thing. I could see him cornering you by the desk, so I knew there was an issue and started to make my way over. He was always checking you out creepily, and I hated watching him watching you.” He shakes his head with a curled-up lip. “I knew something was up with him, I just never thought it would be this… dramatic.”

  I run my hand through my hair. “I didn’t think he was capable of this either, and I didn’t see it coming. Vince was always nice… he said he liked me. I don’t understand why you would strangle someone you like.” I sigh. “I’m glad we’re heading home.”

  He squeezes my knee then moves his hand to the gearstick and shifts down a gear driving along the highway to our home. A knot forms in my stomach knowing when I get home, I will have no excuse not to call Sensei and let him know what’s happened today, and if I know him like I think I do, he’s going to be pretty annoyed I didn’t call him sooner.

  Not long later, we pull into the driveway. Bowie’s car’s already here, he must have left early for the day. I smile as we hop out of the truck and walk to the door. The usual sounds of blasting music doesn’t assault my ears as we enter, but the sound of a vacuum cleaner does instead.

  I raise my brow to Heath as he does the same to me, and we walk inside to see Bowie tidying up the place. He’s wearing an apron with a woman’s body wearing a bikini painted on it as he sweeps the vacuum back and forth over the carpet in the living room. The beer cans are all gone, and the place actually looks really nice for a change.

  Bowie looks up from the vacuum as Heath and I stand in shock and awe. Turning off the vacuum, Bowie smiles and throws his arms out wide like he’s welcoming us here for the first time. “Welcome home. I wanted to surprise you with a clean house, but it took me longer than I thought to clean everything.”

  A sense of warmth flows through me for my baby brother. He can be a real idiot sometimes, but right now, I could squeeze him. “You cleaned? For me?”

  He nods. “Yeah, just wanted to do something nice for you.”

  Heath chuckles, and I step forward and grab Bowie pulling him in for a hug. “Thank you. This is so nice of you. Actually, who are you? ‘Cause I know my brother, Bowie, wouldn’t do this for me.”

  He chuckles shoving my shoulder as I slide my hand down him and pretend to grope the boob on his apron making him laugh. He shakes his head wrapping his arm around my shoulder and holding onto me. “Seeing you zoning out like that today…” Bowie’s eyes flicker with fear. “Shit, Ayla! It scared me.”

  Sinking into myself, I sigh. “I’m sorry.”

  “God no, it’s not your fault. It’s fucking Vince’s, the little fucking asshat. Knew the guy was a freaking jerk.”

  “Well, he’s locked away for now, and we don’t have to worry about him. But thank you so much for caring and doing all this for me, I do appreciate it.”

  Bowie leans in pressing his lips to my temple. “Now, go get changed, I’ll make you some tea.”

  I snort. “Tea?”

  He nods. “Yeah, because you can’t have beer with the painkillers you’re taking for your throat.”

  Heath smiles, and I scoff as he nods in agreement. “Wait! You’re on his side?” I ask, and he grins wide.

  “I think maybe less of the beer tonight, sis. Gotta let your body relax on more natural stuff,” Heath advises.

  “Yes, your body’s been through a traumatic experience. You need to let it rest and give the painkillers time to work. No beer,” Bowie states.

  “When did you become the expert,” I tease, and he smiles.

  “Because I’m the one who’s always accident prone and having to take painkillers, and I’m always being told the same shit by you. Rest and recover,” he says the last part in a higher more feminine voice trying to imitate me. I let out an unladylike snort at his attempt to mimic me.

  Heath laughs while Bowie points to the hall. “Go! Get changed into something comfy, and you can relax all night. We’re doing everything for you. No arguments.”

  I smile and give him a nod. “Okay. Thank you both for today. I kind of love you.”

  They both scoff as I turn and head for my room.

  Letting out a small huff, I know there’s a call I need to make. It’s not going to be a good one, but I need to do it nonetheless. I just don’t know how he’s going to take the news.

  Deciding to get changed first, I make my way to my room. I want to be comfy for this. So I strip down into my boyshorts and a simple white tank top. Easy and comfy. I haven’t done any work today, so I’m not greasy or in need of a shower. Even though I want one, I’m not sure if I can actually tolerate the energy it will take to step under the water right now. Maybe later.

  For now, I need to focus. So I grab my cell, take a deep breath, and press his contact to make the call. My stomach leaps into my throat as nerves wrack through my body. It rings a little too long, and I’m beginning to think he might not answer when suddenly I hear his voice.

  “Sass… I was going to call you later on tonight.” His tone is friendly, calm, but it sounds like he’s distracted.

  Smiling at the simple sound of his voice, I feel at ease just hearing him. Maybe all I needed was to hear his voice. How strange is that? “Oh, I can talk to you later if now isn’t a good time?” I ask my voice hoarse.

  Sensei hesitates and exhales down the line. “That’s not a typical Sass response. Normally, I get some witty retort or some crazy one-liner,
but not a woman who sounds husky and vulnerable… are you okay?”

  Closing my eyes, I sink into my bed and let out a long sigh.

  Am I okay?

  I haven’t really had a moment to myself to process what happened today.

  Vince strangled me.

  Then I was whisked to the hospital.

  Then to the police station.

  I’m home and safe, and it’s hitting me now that I have a moment to think about how epically huge this really is.

  “Sass?” his deep voice echoes through the line, and I swallow hard with a weak smile trying to fool myself more than anything.

  “I’m okay, I need you to know that.”

  He goes quiet as a tension fills the air. “I need you to be very clear on what that statement means, Sass.”

  Rubbing the back of my neck, I clench my eyes shut, the memory of Vince lunging at me comes into my mind. His hands around my neck as they tighten makes my breathing quicken. I flick open my eyes to lose the vision from my mind. My bottom lip trembles as I take a deep breath. “There was an incident at work today.”

  “What kind of incident?” he asks as quickly as I finish saying it.

  With a moment’s hesitation, I try to think of how to word it. “A worker… Vince, he’s always had a thing for me—”

  “Did he make a move on you?”

  I tense. “Kind of—”

  “Do you need me to tell him to back the fuck off?”

  I sigh and clear my throat to remove the lump forming in it. “It’s not that simple.”

  “What are you not telling me, Sass?”

  Just spit it out!

  “He cornered me in my Dad’s office…” I cough a little, the harshness in my throat makes me rasp. “He made a move on me, and when I didn’t reciprocate he…” My pause must be too long because Sensei’s deep breathing becomes quicker as he impatiently grunts. “Sass! What did the fucker do?”

  Closing my eyes, I see it.

  I feel it.

  His hands around my neck.

  His smell invading my lungs.

  My breathing quickens, and I have to open my watering eyes before I panic too far, and I lose myself. My hand grips onto the bedsheets tightly, my knuckles turning white as the other clings to the cell like it’s my lifeline needing to be closer to Sensei.

  My voice comes out strained, hoarse, breathless barely a whisper. “He lunged and… he strangled me.”

  Silence.

  Deathly silence.

  My heart races in my chest as I wait for him to say something, anything, but nothing is coming. I breathe frantically trying to figure out what’s happening right now. I think the silence is scarier than what I was sure I was going to hear—swearing, maybe throwing things around—but there’s just—silence.

  Tensing, my muscles go ridged. The threat of my demons invading imminent, but the idea that the devil is clawing and scratching at the barrier of Sensei’s defenses makes this even worse. Fear seeps and creeps into my bones, the silence a deafening reminder that evil lives in this world, not only in Sensei’s, but in mine too, and at any time it can pounce and attack.

  It’s not only those who hide in the shadows—it can be those who hide in plain sight.

  Those you trust.

  Sometimes the devil wears a friendly disguise.

  The thought sends a shudder through me, his silence is sending my anxiety into overdrive. My head pounds as my heart beats frantically. I can’t wait for him to react anymore.

  “Sensei?” I huskily whisper.

  Nothing.

  “Raiden?”

  “I’m trying extremely hard to remain… calm, right now. Though it’s… very difficult. Are you at home?”

  My tension isn’t released at the sound of the pure anger in his voice. “Yes,” my voice comes out almost pleading with him.

  “Stay. There.”

  Taking a breath, I swallow hard. “Are you coming over?”

  “Yes,” his tone is clipped, short and sharp, as I pant for air.

  “Sensei… I—” But I can’t finish my sentence before he ends the call abruptly.

  Sinking down into my bed, I take a deep inhale as I try to calm down.

  Sensei will be on a warpath, and I’m not sure if I will be able to stop him. But I’ll have to try my hardest. Let him know that the judicial system will do its work, and he needs to stay out of it.

  For tonight I need him.

  I just hope he will see that.

  SENSEI

  Rage burns strong inside of me, so intensely hot I’m unsure I can hold it in. That swirling typhoon inside of my stomach is at such a raging force that if I don’t release some tension, I’m going to explode.

  It took everything in me to remain calm on the phone to Sass. As I end the call to keep myself in check, I hastily slide my cell into my pocket and head off down the hall toward the armory. My feet thumping like a raging stampede of elephants, I know exactly where I need to go and what I need to do.

  Trax spots me as I storm past him, and he raises a brow watching me then he turns following me but says nothing. I let him. We walk briskly toward the armory, and I can tell Trax is enjoying my mood swing. Brothers don’t see this side of me often, so I know Trax is getting his kicks out of this.

  We make our way to the stairs, my feet pound them heavily as I step them two at a time in my mad rush to get into my domain. I need to do this quickly so I can get over to Sass and check on her, to make sure she’s okay.

  But I can’t go to her like this.

  I need to let my rage out first.

  Let that dark part of me take over.

  If only for a moment.

  So I push open the heavy door to the Chamber, the dank smell assaults me as the dim lights flicker on, and Trax chuckles slightly following me in, but still says nothing as he closes the door behind us. I move straight over to my cabinet in the darkened corner of the room to grab my Tanto dagger. The handle fitting nicely in my palm as the gold edges feel cold on my hand—it does nothing to cool the burning fire inside of me. The silver blade glistens in the dim light as I storm over to the old tattered boxing bag hanging from the rafters.

  Trax folds his arms over his chest and stands back.

  The blade points outward in my hand as I move in and begin to punch the bag with my knuckles using all the power behind my thrusts, putting my feet in my jujutsu stance as I take on the bag like it’s an unwilling opponent. My knuckles thrust forward as the bag jostles to and fro, the blade still in my hand as I let all my frustrations out with the power of the hits.

  But it isn’t quite hitting the mark.

  So I bring my right leg up in a roundhouse kick and smack the shit out of the bag. It swings heavily creaking with the force as I duck, spinning as if I were being attacked. I slide in with another one-two forward punch and an elbow strike. But still, I’m not releasing enough tension, if anything I’m getting more worked up. So I step back and take a running leap shooting forward with a fly kick straight into the bag. It swings back furiously as Trax chuckles, and anger bubbles inside of me as the bag settles back to its normal position while I pant for breath.

  My anger builds.

  I’m not done.

  Thinking of anyone touching Sass—no, choking her—has me so worked up I can’t hold it in any longer, and I lunge forward, Tanto dagger in hand, and attack the bag with everything I have. The dagger slices through the leather and immediately sand and rags begin falling as I stab one after the other, jab after jab of the Tanto into the boxing bag, wishing it were the man who brought my Sass harm. The bag rips to shreds as I groan and grunt tearing the bag apart with my bare hands and the blade.

  Trax finally steps up to me grabbing my elbow and stopping me mid-stab. I turn and glare at him, breathing harshly out of my nose as I stop to take a breath. He looks at me, his lopsided smile gone, now replaced with a look of concern as he assesses me.

  “Jesus, brother. I’ve never seen you like this. What
the hell?” Trax asks.

  I drop the Tanto to the floor.

  The sound of the metal clanging on the concrete as I look at the bag—it’s completely torn apart by my actions—and it sends a cold shudder through me.

  I lost control.

  The typhoon within me won.

  The darkness engulfed me.

  I’ve never let that happen before.

  I always stay focused and in my Zen.

  “Sensei?” Trax asks snapping his fingers in front of my face.

  My eyes focus while I look to him. “I apologize.”

  He shakes his head raising his brow. “Don’t be sorry, brother, something’s got you raging. Me of all people know when something eats you up that you need to let it out. But fuck, I’ve never seen you go off like that. Is something happening we should know about? Is Ishikawa making a move?”

  I shake my head. Hearing his name right now is not fucking helping. “No, it’s Sass.”

  Trax rolls his eyes and sighs. “She dump you or something?”

  My hand reaches up to rub the back of my neck, it’s covered in sweat and I grimace from my actions. “No. A co-worker assaulted her today—”

  “What?” Trax gasps.

  “He… he strangled her—”

  “Shit… is she?”

  Shaking my head, my stomach lurches thinking how I might have reacted if things had turned out differently. “No, she’s okay. But I needed to get this out before I go to her.”

  Trax places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes with a slight nod of his head. “I understand completely, brother. It’s just you’re normally way better at hiding your anger issues than I am.” Trax tilts his head toward the stairs. “Go! Go… be with her. I’ll clean this up.”

  Raising my brow in surprise, I slump slightly at my actions. “Thank you, Trax. But, I need to clean this—”

  “Sensei, she needs you right now. Don’t waste your time here with your clean-freak ways. Trust me, I got this for you, brother.” He turns picking up my dagger and takes it over to the cabinet to put away. Trax turns back to me and chuckles. “Sensei, go! Honestly. I’m not a nice guy normally, so take my generosity and roll with it, will you? Just don’t tell anyone about it, yeah?”