Knocking on Helen's Door

by Eve Langlais

  Not once since her arrival had she mentioned going back to Heaven. He’d seen her curiosity as they explored Hell. Everything was new and wondrous to her, but at the same time, she learned quickly. Especially when it came to pleasing him. She already knew how to make him feel good in bed and out. His happiness just needed her around.

  Ugh. What kind of sappy bullshit was infecting his mind?

  He couldn’t help but jump on the chance to clear his head when a call came in from Grim Dating. Apparently, there was a client demanding to speak to the commander. Given the boss was still on vacation, that meant Julio.

  Helen was in the kitchen, banging around. She had no idea how to cook but was keen on learning.

  She smiled at him, and he just about took her on the counter right then and there. He’d done it before, her legs wrapped around his waist, the welcoming heat of her snug around his shaft. By the time there were done fucking, he’d been somehow ended up wearing her halo on a tilt, and she wore the grin of orgasmic satisfaction. It made eating her attempts at cooking worth it.

  “I gotta pop into the office to handle something. Will you be okay?”

  Helen nodded and plopped a strange fruit onto the counter, along with an onion. “I’ve got a new recipe to try.”

  “Yay. Can’t wait.” He might bring them back some donuts just in case.

  He kissed her, slipped in some tongue, then thought, Fuck it, and fingered her until she gasped into his mouth.

  Julio left, his smug smile stretching ear to ear. It was quickly wiped as he stepped into the boss’s office and saw who waited for him.

  “Michael.” The archangel. One of the biggest and baddest supposedly. Also, a client who was going through dating options faster than a teenage boy with a bottle of lotion.

  Given the ease Michael managed to get panties off women, it made Julio wonder why he bothered with Grim Dating. He didn’t need help getting pussy, which meant the archangel had another reason for always coming around.

  Michael offered him a bright smile, his teeth matching the white glare of his suit. “Julio, just the man I wanted to see. I hear you have something that belongs to Heaven, and I’m here to ask that you give it back.”

  Julio did his best to not react. He also knew better than to play stupid. “I don’t know that Helen would agree she belongs in Heaven, given the issues she’s had with one of your soldiers. He tried to kill her because she caught him fucking a nanny.”

  The declaration didn’t surprise Michael, who had a ready answer. “I’m aware of the situation with Theodore, and it is being handled. The unpleasantness is why I chose to come here and announce that, given the circumstances, all charges against Helen have been dropped. She can come home.”

  Julio’s stomach just about bottomed out. Helen leave? It would be selfish to ruin that chance for her.

  Good thing he wasn’t a nice guy.

  “I doubt you’ll want her back. You do know we’re married, and when I say married, I mean very married.” He purred the last with as much innuendo as possible.

  “Coerced into marriage. I’m pretty sure she can be forgiven this one time given the situation.” Michael offered a conspiratorial smile. “Rest assured, we have ways of ensuring she forgets her sins and returns to a life of chastity and goodness.”

  At the claim, Julio wrinkled his nose. Helen deserved better than that. And he’d meant it when he said he wouldn’t let her go. “Pretty sure my marriage vows stated ’til death do us part.”

  “Is that meant to be a temptation? Because my sword, unlike the human version, will kill a reaper.” The angel drew a gleaming length of metal but of a kind not seen on Earth or in Hell.

  Could it harm him? Julio would prefer to not find out.

  “Why are you so determined to have her back? I know she’s broken too many rules for you to ignore.”

  “As I said, extenuating circumstances have led to us being lenient. Do not judge us on the actions of one. Helen belongs to us, and you will return her,” Michael stated lightly, but Julio recognized the threat.

  “No, not to mention she’s pissed you lied. She doesn’t want to go back.”

  “We’ll deal with it.” Michael twirled his sword.

  “Yeah, still not handing her over.”

  “I didn’t figure you would,” Michael said, lifting his gaze from his twirling blade to smirk at Julio. “Which is why I made other plans.”

  The cold in Julio’s veins manifested his sudden fear. “You can’t touch her. You and I both know angels wouldn’t dare set foot in Hell.”

  “No, they wouldn’t. But the thing about demons and the damned is they have few scruples. Just about anyone can be bought for the right price.”

  The fear turned to ice. “You wouldn’t dare attack her while she’s in Lucifer’s care.”

  “I wouldn’t, but the demons I bribed did.” Michael pointed to his watch. “As we speak, they’re acquiring Helen.”

  “No.” Julio swirled his cloak to open a portal, only to have Michael shoot out a hand and grab at the esoteric fabric.

  The angel somehow locked him in place and, in that same low, even tone, said, “It’s already too late. And let me add that you will not come after her. If you are seen anywhere near the pearly gates, you will die.”

  “Halo fucker. You can forget using Grim Dating as your personal bootie call center.” Julio’s mature reply as the angel left. He hoped Michael saw the finger he flashed.

  It wasn’t until the angel left the building that he could finally call a portal. He stepped through the rip and found the penthouse a mess. Yet that wasn’t the most astonishing thing.

  The big surprise was the pink dragon sitting inside.

  19

  Before the dragon arrived…

  The moment Julio left, Helen missed him. She’d gotten used to having him around. Quite enjoyed it and almost asked to join him at the office.

  She also wondered if she should have time alone. A moment with only herself and her thoughts to see if it was his presence making her reject a lifetime of teaching.

  Being with Julio was nothing like she’d ever experienced. She didn’t want it to end. Cringed at the thought of returning to her sterile and lonely life in Heaven.

  Not that it seemed likely any more at this point. She’d discovered a whole wide world existed with rules she could abide by. She could laugh. Smile.

  Love…

  Could it be possible? Did an angel love a denizen of Hell?

  Not long after Julio left, the elevator rattled back up to their floor. The doors opened just as her thumbs pierced the skin of the fruit she needed to peel. She glanced over and expected to see Julio. Perhaps even Baezel, who sometimes brought packages delivered to reception from the stores where Julio had insisted she buy trinkets. Such as an apron, which she currently wore.

  Even Lucifer or Bambi appearing wouldn’t have surprised her. Both had randomly visited since her arrival, although neither stayed long. She had to admit the Dark Lord didn’t look so dark when he had a small child on his shoulders who grinned and waved before grabbing hold of Lucifer’s hair. Obviously painful and yet the devil bore it with stoic grace.

  None of those familiar faces spilled from the elevator. Instead, she was visited by three massive demons, their olive-green skin dry and mottled. Their tusks yellowed. Eyes baleful and glowing.

  They growled and grunted in her direction. Not a good sign.

  She tugged her thumb stuck in the fruit someone called a Hellange. It refused to let it go, so she gave it a violent shake and sent it flying. A demon lifted his hand and grabbed it with a chuckle that turned into a scream as he began to smoke.

  Helen glanced at the other piece of fruit and the ingredients that she’d blessed out of habit. Holy food.

  To fight demons.

  She fisted another ingredient and threw. Missed. The demons caught on to her plan and rushed for her. In desperation she ran for the window and yelled, “In the name of my Father—who has some
explaining to do—his son Charlie, and the Holy Spirit that moved me last night, I need someone to rescue me. Amen.”

  As a hand reached and grabbed at her hair, drawing a sharp scream, she saw something outside. Rescue came in the form of a crash as a massive pink dragon slammed into a window and ended up inside her living room.

  The demon at her back, distracted, released her.

  The pastel-colored beast shook its head, scattering shards, and Helen covered her head as they flew with sharp bite.

  She heard a yell and a juicy crunch that strongly suggested she keep her eyes closed. A grunt, followed by more wet chewing.

  Then the ding of the elevator.

  She didn’t peek until she heard Julio exclaim, “Curls, where are you?”

  Opening her eyes, she discovered herself behind the massive dragon where he couldn’t see her. She walked around and waved. “I’m here. I’m okay.” So long as the dragon contented itself with eating the now very dead demons. She didn’t know why those demons had attacked and could only fall back on her lessons that claimed evil thrived on violence.

  She did her best to ignore the blood. Julio didn’t care and strode through the mess to sweep her into a hug that squeezed and lifted her off the floor.

  She squealed.

  He buried his face against her. “I’m glad you’re still here.”

  “Me, too.”

  The dragon gagged. A startled glance in its direction showed it waddling away. As it leaped out through an unbroken window, Julio nuzzled her cheek.

  “You okay, Curls?”

  “I am now.” She kissed him, but he soon controlled it, his mouth insistent on hers, his hands pulling her into him. Imprinting the strength of him on her.

  She embraced him just as fervently. Mouth hot and demanding. She couldn’t get enough. The clothes were about to come off when the devil arrived.

  20

  There was something strangely satisfying about interrupting people on the verge of fucking. Lucifer basked in their exasperation, inhaled their throbbing need. Their frustration tickled.

  Delicious shit.

  However, not the reason why he’d interrupted a promising couple from consummating. Much as he’d like to see Heaven choke on Helen’s choice, it was time for the next phase of his plan.

  “Hello, Reaper.”

  “Go the fuck away.”

  Lucifer tsked. “That is not the correct way to greet me if you’re going to keep your man parts, my friend.”

  With a grumble, Julio released Helen and faced the devil. “Evening, dark lord, how can I fucking help you?”

  “That’s better. A little heavy on the insolence, but then again, all my best soldiers seem to have a bit too much of a backbone.”

  “I assume there’s a reason for your visit.” Which, when translated, was actually, “Tell me what you want then fuck off.”

  “I’m afraid the fucking will have to wait, Reaper, so tuck away your little friend. I have to admit to surprise that you’d want to waste time doing the horizontal tango given what just happened. The lovely Helen was attacked and this after I’d extended my personal protection to her as my guest. Some demons have a lot of nerve!” the devil exclaimed. “A shame the dragon took care of them. I’d have loved to torture them myself.”

  “You can still go after the one who hired them,” Julio stated. “And send a warning to anyone else who thinks it’s okay to come after Helen.”

  The boy had gotten sharp since he’d come to Hell. No more haze from the drugs and booze. He’d gone clean. Lucifer, though, knew how to talk his way in circles. “What makes you think they were hired?”

  “Because I was talking to Michael the archangel, and he told me he’d bribed demons to take her!” Julio raked his fingers through his hair while Helen remained quiet and listening. Frowning as well.

  “Michael sent them?” she suddenly asked. “The Michael?”

  Julio pressed his lips and nodded.

  “That’s who you went to meet?”

  Julio sighed. “I didn’t know until I got there.”

  “What did he want?” she asked.

  The devil snorted. “What do you think he wanted?”

  “Me?” Her voice emerged low and soft.

  Julio nodded. “Michael told me to hand you over.”

  “That’s not all he said,” Lucifer the troublemaker sang. “Tell her all of it.”

  That had the reaper scowling. “He said he’d taken care of Theodore and you’d be forgiven. That you could return to Heaven.”

  Helen’s expression froze. “But I don’t want to.”

  Relief flood Julio’s face. “I didn’t think you did, which is why I said no, a couple of times as a matter of fact. He then said it didn’t matter because he’d hired someone to kidnap you while I was distracted.”

  “Only he didn’t count on Lucinda’s dragon to come to the rescue.” Lucifer clapped his hands.

  “How did the dragon get up here?” Julio asked.

  “I don’t know,” Lucifer lied. No need to tell them about a certain foretelling. His seer had been on a roll lately, predicting all kinds of cool shit if paths were nudged a certain way. Why he might even be able to do something about the Jujube-Gaia situation if he tweaked events just right. “Does it really matter how the dragon got up here? The thing we should focus on is the attack on Helen.” Lucifer diverted their attention.

  “It happened because the security guard on duty sucks.” Julio scowled.

  “Security was getting blown in the closet.” Lucifer had watched for a bit before interrupting another couple about to have sex.

  “What are you going to do to fix this so it doesn’t happen again?” Julio growled.

  “Me? How is this my problem?”

  “You said it yourself, she’s your guest. What are you going to do to protect her?”

  “Replace you for starters, apparently. If anyone is to blame, it’s you. Leaving her alone.” Lucifer shook his head in disappointment. “And here I thought you’d protect her.”

  Julio’s jaw clenched. “I know how to protect her. We need to clip some wings. Those angels need to accept she’s not going back.”

  “Technically, they are well within their right to demand her return. We do have an agreement, you know.”

  “Which they broke.”

  “Did they?” Lucifer asked. “You brought an angel to Hell.”

  “And? She’s not the first. Your own daughter is married to an angel,” Julio pointed out.

  “The difference is Helen has not yet fallen.”

  Julio’s face creased in confusion. “How can she not be? She’s broken a ton of their rules.”

  “Newer rules. Not the old ones. The ones that count most. And being fallen is more than just the breaking of their laws. My brother has to actually cast an angel out if they’re going to be blocked from Heaven. And we all know that’s not going to happen anytime soon given his sabbatical.”

  “I’m not fallen?” Helen asked.

  “Nope. And until you are, you’re considered a citizen of Heaven. Which is causing all kinds of legal problems. We’ve been managing to stall them because of the whole marriage thing. However, without progeny involved, they’re already speaking of dissolving the union. A full annulment.”

  “They can’t annul. We’ve consummated,” Julio said, and Helen squeaked.

  “Doesn’t matter. Angels cannot marry. Especially not a reaper created with my power.”

  Julio growled. “There has to be a loophole.”

  The devil shrugged. “We’re working on it. Ideally, my brother gets out of whatever prison Charlie has him held in and he begins dealing fallen status like cards in a poker game.”

  “How long before that happens?” Julio asked.

  “Depends on which future we’re talking about. Most of them it’s a few centuries. In some, he never gets out, and boy, talk about angels gone wild.” Lucifer slapped his leg.

  “Meaning it’s not going to happen a
nytime soon.”

  Helen put a hand on Julio’s arm. “The devil is here because he has an idea, though.”

  “Clever girl.” Lucifer winked.

  Whereas the reaper glared. “Oh no you don’t. You’re not using Helen in whatever weird plot you have brewing.”

  “Me, plot?” Lucifer might have exaggerated a tad. He’d been out of sorts lately. It didn’t help his wife suddenly played perfect mother to the children. He’d gone from being their primary caretaker to having to hunt them down, certain she’d finally flipped, only to find them doing something wholesome. Like baking cookies shaped like horned ducks. Or making him that cooling blanket in the shape of a shark eating him.

  “Knowing you, you’re going to dangle her like bait.” Julio knew him so well.

  But the devil knew Julio even better.

  “On the contrary, I want Helen to stay out of Heaven. Why do you think I’ve been avoiding the phone calls?” Each communication was getting more strident in demand. Lucifer had heard from a few of the major archangels at this point, Michael being the most irritating. None of the demands came from his brother. Nor Charlie. No one had seen his nephew since after he’d had his Father imprisoned.

  What the fuck was happening in Elyon’s kingdom?

  “You can’t hand her over. If I’d have known she could be in danger, I wouldn’t have left her alone!” Julio simmered. Even Helen’s hand on his arm didn’t calm him. The reaper had a soft spot for the angel. “Why didn’t you warn me the angels could bribe someone?”

  “You made the mistake of assuming the angels had scruples. They are masters when it comes to manipulating the rules to suit themselves.”

  “Meaning she’s not safe and will need better protection.” Julio eyed Lucifer so he had to set him straight.

  “Do I look like a fucking bodyguard?” the devil asked softly.

  “No, Dark Lord.” Julio dipped his head.

  “Even if I were to assign a legion for her protection, it wouldn’t be enough. The angels have made it clear they want Helen back.”

  “Too bad, so sad. Not happening,” Julio stated.