by M. Brennan
"I'm fine now. It may just have been a bit too much to take in with what's happened. How the hell is he my next of kin and why would he come now—he had twenty-six years to bother?" I ask truly confused the panic is gone and now I'm pissed. Why has he decided to show up now?
"I honestly don't know. Maybe it's because they rang, but I told him you wouldn't want to see him." I can see that she is still feeling like this is all her fault.
"Stacey none of this is your fault so please don't blame yourself but can you do me one favour," I say hoping to God she can.
"Sure Nessa, anything."
"Please don't let him come near me. I don't want to see him," I say in almost a whisper as she gets up and hugs me.
"I'll tell the nurses station you don't want him in here."
"Thanks." My stomach growls which causes us both to laugh.
"Hungry much?" She laughs.
"Yeah I'm starved. What's a girl to do to get some food around here?"
"The nurse said you need to eat some soup first so I rang Joe he has your favourite veggie soup ready for me to collect. When Jess and Sam get here I'm going to go grab it." Joe is the bartender and manager at Fitzsimons and he knows just how much I love his veggie soup.
"Oh man how about you just go now, I'm drooling here thinking of it. I'll rest my eyes till the girls get here."
"I don't want to leave you on your own just yet."
I roll my eyes. "Please bitch, the only thing gonna happen me right now is I fade away with hunger so please go." I bat my eyelashes at her.
"Fine I'll go but please rest." Oh thank God! I'm pretty sure if she said no I'd start eating her.
"I will, now go," I say making a shooing motion with my hands. She laughs as she leaves.
I'm feeling a little tired and my head is pounding, yet my stupid brain won't stop with the questions. Why the hell had the sperm donor come here? It's all so messed up. He had twenty-six years and now he just turns up like it was nothing. Ugh my head is too fuzzy to deal with all this.
I've decided I can't wait for this year to end because it hasn't been my best. So far this year I've caught my ex with one of my best friends, lost my job, had sex with a sex God who's a prick who treated me like a high class hooker, got wacked on the head and now my long lost Father whom I hate, decides to make an appearance. Seriously thank God there is only a few months left to this year because I can't keep dealing with this shit.
There have been good parts as well. I moved in with Stacey, which is great and I have a job I love. So maybe somethings are just meant to be and I do believe, what is meant for you won't pass you. Although in saying that I don't want a Daddy so I'm hoping that's not meant for me and will go right past me—like get on a plane to the furthest country away past me. I'm stopped in my thoughts when Sam and Jess arrive.
"Well look at you. Sleeping beauty has awoke." Sam greets and I laugh which kind of hurts a little. Man what the hell was I wacked with?
"What, you bitches didn't actually think you were getting rid of me," I say jokily but Jess makes a sad face.
"You scared the hell out of us Nessa, even Sam was worried," she says sadly.
Sam butts in by saying, "I was not." But I'm not convinced. She was totally worried, which means I must have look pretty bad to get her worried because she acts like nothing ever bothers her.
"It's ok, I'm fine. Head of steel me. How about we hug this out," I say as I hold my arms open and they walk over.
"Really, why do you all think hugs help with everything? just so you know I don't really want to hug you," Sam groans but she hugs me tightly.
"That's because they do and I know you secretly love them, but don't worry I won't tell a soul." I wink at her and she lets out another groan. She hates lovey dovey stuff but right now me being in hospital means she has to deal with it and it's fun watching her squirm.
We talk a while and I love chatting to my girls they know how to take my mind right off everything.
"So any hot doctors?" Sam says wiggling her eyebrows.
"Eh well, I've kinda slept the last two days so I couldn't tell you. I'll be sure to keep a list when I can get out of this room." I laugh and I realise I actually need to pee but when I wiggle a little I feel something. I look under my blanket and see a tube. Oh hell no!
"What's wrong?" Jess asks when she realises I'm starting to freak out.
"Please can one of you go drag a nurse in here? I need to pee and oh God they have a tube in and eww please hurry," I beg and Sam jumps up.
"I'll go," she says laughing.
I growl, "Do not look for hot doctors Sam. I want this out now!" She just salutes me.
"Yes boss."
Oh God this is so wrong. How did I not feel this before? I've just sat here and not known. Gross.
"Relax Nessa, they will have it out in a second." Easy for her to say.
The nurse comes into the room with a concerned look.
"Everything ok?" she asks. No, its not but I try be nice.
"I need to pee. Could you please remove this thing in me?" I say crankily while she smiles at me. What the hell is she smiling about?
"Nessa you got hit pretty hard on the head. Your body slept for two days, it needs to adjust. You're gonna be a little weak so I suggest we leave the catheter in till tomorrow," she says sweetly.
Oh hell no. She can smile sweetly all she wants but this thing is coming out of me now.
"No thanks. I'm fine I want it out now," I say with force. She looks like she's having trouble deciding so I help her with her decision. "Look I don't care if you think I shouldn't take it out. You need to take it out or I will do it myself. I can't keep this thing in, it’s freaking me out." I smile just for an added touch. "Please, the doctor says I can't be under stress and this is causing me an awful lot of stress."
She huffs a bit but decides to give me my own way. She shoos the girls from the room and Sam being Sam, huffs something about seen it all before. The nurse gets gloves and removes it. I can breathe a sigh of relief now.
"You're gonna be weak on your feet so you will need a little help to the toilet. Please don't fight me on this, I don't want you having a fall," she tells me sternly and I just nod. She helps me to the toilet and when I relieve myself it stings like a mother fucking bitch.
I get back in bed and the girls are all there, Stacey's back with food—thank God. Once I'm in bed and comfy, Stacey sets my soup out and I dig in.
"This is so good." I probably look like a staved animal right now but hey, I'm kinda feeling like one. When I look up to the girls by their faces it's confirmed I look like a starved animal. "What?" I say as if I have no idea what they're looking at me like I have ten heads.
"You have a little something right…" Sam says as she points to my whole chin area and laughs.
"Leave me alone." I joke sulkily and they all laugh. Once I'm done with my soup I yawn. I'm pretty tired now.
"Why don't you get some rest Nessa," Stacey says.
"I slept for two days I don't want to sleep." Even as I say it I know my stupid body disagrees and I yawn again.
"Well we have to head to work so rest and we shall see you tomorrow," Jess says.
"You go too Stacey, I'm sure you have stuff you need to do." She was shaking her head before I even finished talking.
"No, I'll stay," she says. I love her for wanting to stay but the nurse told me she's been here since I've been admitted. She has a business she has worked hard to build; she can't just put that on hold to watch me while I sleep.
I put all the force my tired body can muster when I tell her, "Stacey go and don't come back till tomorrow evening. Rest and check on work. I'm fine, if I need anything I'll call." She goes to say something but I stop her. "No, I'm not hearing it. Please just go. I love you all but there is not much you or anyone can do sitting here. It's not like I'm going anywhere, so just go." She sighs in defeat.
"Fine, but know I don't really want to leave," she says concerned.
"
Eh I'm in hospital, pretty sure I couldn't be anywhere better. Now, come all of you and hug me then get the hell out of here."
Just as they're leaving Jess comes back over and hands me a bag.
"Almost forgot there are some magazines in here. I know you're not into them but that's all they had in the shop. Maybe they could help you pass some time." She's so nice. I thank her and the girls leave. I fall straight into an easy sleep before the door even closes behind them.
I awake during the night to a weird feeling of being watched but there's no one in my room. I'm freaking out a little so I press the button for the nurse. Jeez what the hell is wrong me?
The nurse arrives and tells me no one has been in my room and that I probably just had a bad dream but it doesn't help calm my nerves.
I can't go back to sleep and end up lying there for hours. At seven I have breakfast brought in, which wasn't that nice but I'll take what I can get. Stacey will bring me something nice; I think to myself but decide to text her just to make sure. Plus I need some pj’s and stuff for a shower. I stink. I can't stand smelling my own stink.
When I look at my phone I have a few messages from both old and new work buddies and I decide to fill some time replying. I see Ray's name come up and click open.
Baby girl please get better. Love you loads. I will come and annoy you later. xxxx
Awe he's a sweetheart but also a gossip queen considering half my old job has texted. I reply telling him I love him too and can't wait for his visit and just like that I'm bored again.
Awe man I need to get out of here. I remember Jess left a bag with some trashy magazines in it. I don't like reading them but I'm that bored.
I flick through them till I come to a page that causes my heart shatter a little. There is a picture of Taylor and a leggy blonde at some movie premier in America. His arm is around her but he's not smiling, then again does the prick ever smile.
Why is it still bothering me? It's been a month since I have last seen him and I hate him for that morning, yet I can't stop looking at him. It's dated two weeks ago and the caption reads;
"Taylor Kessler with a new woman on his arm. Just another one of many or could this be more?"
I'm still staring at him when someone walks into the room. I'm so fixated on the picture that I don't look up.
"You shouldn't believe what you read in them stupid magazines." That's Taylor voice. I look up and back down at the trashy magazine. What are the chances? I don't answer straight away because I can't believe he's here and when I do its pretty bitchy.
"I don't care what's in these. I was bought them and decided to flick through to pass the time. If you ask me it's all trash as well as most of the people in them." Ha take that! I'm aware I sound pretty childish but I don't care.
"Nessa," he says my name in a pleading tone and I don't understand why he sounds that way. It actually pisses me off.
"What do you want Taylor?" I question angrily.
"I just came to make sure you're ok." Was this fucking dude for real?
"Well I'm fine, pretty great actually, so why don't you go fuck yourself and leave me the hell alone." I'm so angry. Why is he here and why does he have to look so damn sexy.
He's wearing a navy suit, no tie with the top two buttons undone. Oh man he looks hot. Shit did I just think that?. Stupid brain considering he's the prick who kicked me out like a whore. I can't understand why I'm still drawn to him.
"Nessa I just wanted to check and see how you are and maybe talk a little so less of your lip would be great." Oh no he didn't. Who the hell did he think he was?
"Talk are you kidding me? The time for talking may have been the morning you kicked me out, not a month later when you find out I'm in here. I don't need nor want your pity so leave Taylor." I'm so angry at this stage I just want to get up and beat him.
He growls, "I'm not here out of pity. I just want to talk to you damn it."
"Well did it ever cross your mind that I don't want to talk to you." Why won't he leave already. He lets out a long breath in a very dramatic sigh.
"I don't know how to do this, ok." Huh?
"Do what? You don't have to do a damn thing but leave so you should get on that." This man is just not going to leave.
"Can you just give me a damn minute woman, I'm trying to say something."
Eh how about no! My head is starting to hurt and I smell bad and I just want a painkiller and a wash, that's not to much to ask is it? But no, I get a God damn fight with the man I'm sure I feel something for but don't know what. To be honest I'm pretty sure I hate him but there is something else—when he's around I don't know if I want to punch him or hump his leg. I can't think straight right now. He needs to leave.
"Look Taylor, I've been hit on the head with God knows what by God knows who, so my head is just not able to deal with your shit right now or actually ever. So can you please just leave?" I'm shouting at this stage and my head is hurting.
"Fine I'll go, I don't want stress you out. I really did come to talk and to make sure you're ok. I've been worried and couldn't stay away any longer. We are gonna talk later, Nessa. Understand that." Ok he's just not going to give up.
I'm fuming when I look down and realise I'm still holding the magazine. I throw it at him. "Go back to your blonde and leave me alone!" I shout which cause pain to shoot right through my head. I grab my head and bend over trying to lessen the pain. It hurts like hell. Before I know it Taylor is beside me.
"Jesus what's wrong? I'll I get the doctor." He sounds terrified. I'm saved from answering when Stacey arrives.
"What the hell did you do to her!" she shouts at Taylor and presses the button for the nurse.
"I'm fine, I just got a pain in my head. It's easing though, I must have moved it the wrong way or something." When I look up I notice Taylor has backed up a bit but he is still looking really worried.
"You can leave now," Stacey tells him. He looks like he wants to say something but with the look she throws him, he nods and leaves.
The nurse arrives and tells me its normal after a head injury to suffer from some severe headaches but they will ease off once I'm healed. She gives me some painkillers to help. Once I'm a little more relaxed Stacey turns to me.
"Why was Taylor here?" she questions.
"He wanted to talk," I say weakly, the painkillers seem to have kicked in and I'm starting to feel tired again.
"About what?" she throws back.
"I don't know, I didn't ask. I just asked him to leave, so drop it." I'm a little bitchy because I hate him but I missed seeing his face and that is causing my poor head to throb even more.
"I'm sorry I was just surprised to see him." Shit, now I feel bad.
"No, I'm sorry. I'm just tired and I really wasn't prepared to see him either," I say apologetically.
"Don't worry about it. Do you want to have your shower now or later?" she's asks but I don't get to answer because Dr. McGrath comes in.
"Hello Nessa. All your tests came back and they're prefect so we can let you go home."
I jump up in my bed. "Yes! I mean, I like it here but eh I just want to go home."
"Don't worry everyone feels the same. I'm happy to see my patient's leave too." He laughs then continues, "Your head might be sore for a while so I suggest you take a week off work and give it some time to heal. I also have some painkillers here for when you get a headache, but only take them if you need them. They're very strong and will make you sleepy."
He leaves and I'm so happy I get to go home to my bed. Oh I can't wait. I turn to Stacey and say, "Take me home bitch." She laughs and we start getting my things together. Once we have everything we head home.
I'm so excited to go home but that turns into fear when I reach my apartment door. I freeze unable to go inside.
"What's wrong Nessa?" Stacey asks.
"I don't know what actually happened to me or who did it. What if they come back? Maybe we should go to a hotel," I say as I turn to leave.
"It'l
l be ok. I had the locks changed and the apartment manager added and an alarm system free of charge. Isn't that great? It's going to be fine," she tells me confidently. I turn back and when she opens the door, I slowly walk in. It looks the same.
"Stacey, what was taken?" She looks at me confused so I continue. "You said it was a break-in so what was taken?"
"Nothing seems to be touched so the guards reckon they might have only gotten in when you disturbed them." Something's off, I just can't put my finger on it and my head is too sore to think right now. "Don't worry about it Nessa. It's going to be a bit weird to be back here but it will be ok." She smiles gently and adds, "Do you want a shower?" Good plan.
"Yes. You're going to scrub my back, right?" I wink at her.
"Ha you wish. I'll just be making sure you don't fall and break your neck," she says laughing.
"Glad you think that's funny." I laugh with her though. I manage to have a nice long shower without falling and I feel so much better but I'm exhausted from my pills that all I want is to go to bed. Just as I climb into bed Stacey comes in.
"Hey, I have to go into work in the morning. There is a big event I need to supervise. I've texted Ray and he can come over in the evening. Do you think you will be ok in the morning? I can find someone to take over from me if you're not ready to be alone." She looks stressed by again. Her work is important so I tell her I'll be fine, more like spend twenty minutes convincing her, but she agrees to go to work. She leaves and I'm so tired I drift straight off to sleep.
When I wake the next day it's one o'clock. I've slept more than twelve hours straight. Wow that's never happened before. I get up to make coffee. Just as I'm about to sit down there's a knock on the door.
I freeze I can feel the panic rising. I need to get a grip, burglars aren't going to knock. On shaky legs I walk to the door and look through the peephole. I see it's Taylor. Taking a deep breath I open the door.
"Nessa what's wrong with you?" I must still look panicked because Taylor is right in front of me. When I look back up at him he's very close and I take a step back.
