by M. Brennan
"I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting anyone. What are you doing here?" He just ignores my question though and starts ushering me towards the sofa. Once I'm there he goes back to close the door then sits beside me.
"What happened?" he asks concerned.
"I'm fine. Like I said I wasn't expecting anyone. I just had a moment." I try to sound convincing but my voice is shaky and I'm still shaking with nerves.
"If you were so damn afraid why the hell did you answer the door?" He is shouting a little and it causes me to flinch. Why am I being such a fucking baby?
"You can go," I say it and really want to mean it but I'm a little frightened to be left here. I look up into his eyes—he's actually pretty angry if I go by the darkness of them.
"I will not be going anywhere without you so you can remove that idea from your head and tell me where your phone is." Without me? My phone? He's not making sense and I don't even get to reply because the prick is back. "Phone, Nessa. Where is it? Now!" I jump at his tone. Is he seriously for real?
"What's your deal? Stop shouting at me! I'm freaked enough without you coming in here and fucking shouting at me. How about you just leave." I get up and walk over to the sink, I need a glass of water my mouth is dry. He's behind me in a second.
"I'm sorry Nessa I just don't like seeing you frightened. You can come stay at my place for a while. I just wanted your phone to ring Stacey but as you won't part with it I'll do it my way." With that he takes out his phone and barks orders into it requesting Stacey's number. Whoever he spoke to is good because once he hangs up his phone beeps with a message.
I just stand there in shock as he starts ringing Stacey. He argues with her for ten minutes while I just stand there. When he's done he walks back over to me and studies me carefully. He doesn't expect the slap in the face he gets.
"Taylor you treated me like a fucking God damn whore and throw me out of your hotel like a piece of trash. Do you know how that made me feel? I didn't expect more form you the next day because we had an agreement, but could you have treated me like a damn human being rather than a piece of dirt on the bottom of your shoe. And if all that's not bad enough, you come back a month later after appearing in every magazine with different women. To top off what a fucking gent you are, you come in when I'm only getting out of hospital barking orders and shouting at me. What the fuck is wrong with you Taylor?" I pretty much screamed my speech and he looks a little gob smacked. He goes over and sits on the sofa rubbing his jaw.
Ha! I hope it hurt the prick. Considering my hand is sore, I'd say it hurt a least a little.
"Nessa I…" he stops and puts his head down. I don't really want to fight anymore. My head is starting to hurt and he's just not going to leave so I take a seat on the couch beside him.
"Taylor why did you come to the hospital? Why after a month have you decided you want to talk? I don't understand it and I'm tired of fighting." He looks up at me and looks like he's struggling with whatever he's trying to say.
"I'm so sorry for that morning Nessa. I spent the last month trying to stay away from you. I should have known I was never gonna win that battle but I did try. My staff, family, and friends have been avoiding me because I've been a grumpy asshole. Then I hear some staff talking about you being in hospital and I thought I was gonna have to murder someone. I had to go straight there to see if you were ok. I can't get you off my damn mind you're there all the time and it's driving me crazy. The fact you were hurt when I should have been here. I don't know where this could go with us but I want to try. I want to look after you so please don't fight me."
What do I say to that? It doesn't even sound like Taylor the prick. My resolve is breaking down but what if I'm not enough for him and he throws me away or moves on? How am I going to deal with that—everyone seems to leave me eventually and I don't think I could deal with him doing that as well. I feel things for him, things I've never felt before. I still haven't figured out what it is or why but I know I could I risk losing my heart to him. I wish I wasn't so messed up maybe then we would have a chance.
Taylor breaks through my thoughts. "What are you thinking Nessa?"
Where do I start—oh hey I'm fucked up, people always leave you're no different. "I don't really know what to say to that," I say quietly. He gets up to start pacing.
"So you don't want give it a go?" He's getting angry again and I can handle that better than nice Taylor.
"I don't know what I want. Things aren't that straight forward for me. I'm fucked up Taylor and these past few months I've had so many changes in my personal life, I'm just trying to find my feet."
It's the truth. I still have things I need to figure out, my life has become a fucking game of Clue—the mystery of the attacker, the mystery of my father showing and then this man in front of me is just a fucking head spin altogether.
I look up at him he has his hand on his head in deep thought, when he looks up his eyes are soft.
"Nessa we're all a little fucked up and this thing with us is pretty fucked up but we won't know unless we try. I can't walk away so please don't make me."
Shit, he's not making this easy. I really want to, would it be so hard to try? Maybe if I just block my heart from it all till I see if I can get through this without my heart been shattered. Ha! Yeah right considering I'm pretty sure my God damn heart is already invested. I'm just not willing to admit that yet and what about all the woman he's been seen with? What if he can't stop seeing them? Has he slept with any of them since we've been apart? I want to give him a chance but I have too many things going through my head right now. Oh God can I do this? Maybe I can set some ground rules and see how he takes them or see how far he is willing to go for us.
"Ok fine, let's say I say yes, what then? You're a documented manwhore and you also told me you're not the hearts and flowers type. What about me and what I want?" He shocks me by laughing. I cross my arms in a huff and he laughs more. Really, like is he serious? He comes and sits next to me.
"Didn't I tell you not to read that stuff, look Nessa I haven’t been near another woman since I slept with you, I just couldn't. I'm not the hearts and flowers type of guy but I'm pretty sure I gave a sappy speech not ten minutes ago so that might tell you that I'm trying."
"You want me to believe you weren't with any of the women?"
"I was at an event with them but nothing happened, the last person I slept with was you."
Could he be telling the truth was he really not with anyone since me? He was a bit sappy… Ugh, I suppose I could try and always walk away if it gets to be too much. Ha yeah right, great job trying to fool yourself Nessa. I'm going to try anyway because I'm just a glutton for punishment.
"Fine. I'm willing to try if you are but I swear Taylor, if I get one wisp of you and another girl being together I'm going to cut your fucking balls off." He cups his balls protectively with his hands and makes a shocked face. I just laugh.
"I promise there is only one blonde in my life and you, woman, are her." With that he picks me up and gently places me on his lap and kisses me. It's soft to start but I can feel the hunger building. I place my hands on his shoulders but he stops and puts me back on the couch.
What the hell, why did he stop? Is he done with me already? I'm starting to panic and I just don't know how to stop it.
"Nessa get out of that damn head of yours. I stopped because if I didn't you would have been naked in seconds and you have just come out of hospital." Oh well I couldn't have been more wrong there but he doesn't have to know that.
"Yeah I knew that."
He takes my hand and gently tells me, "One day you're going to tell me who did this to you and don't say there is nothing wrong, I saw the look in your eyes just now and I'm going to find out who and what caused it."
Yeah well I'm not going to lie to myself and say he won't cause this man can get anything done when he puts his mind to it. So I simply answer him. "One day I might just tell you." That earns me a smile.
Taylor has de
cided that I'm going to stay with him on the week I have to rest. I tell him I'm not staying with him but it doesn't matter what I say, he always gets his way. He tells me it will give me some time to adjust to what happen then he starts listing off ways his place is safer. I see I'm not going to win this battle. Seems he already got Stacey to agree and I know I need to pick my battles with him so I let him win this one. Plus it is only a week, what harm could it be?
I get dressed and pack some stuff and we head to his car. It's a nice sports car, it's very different from my car. I drive a Micra and I love my little car. Stacey always tells me to get a new one and I was but my savings got stolen. Maybe in a few months.
The inside of his car is spotless with cream leather seats. I know it's some sort of BMW but after that who knows.
We get to his place quick enough. I'm getting pretty nervous as he pulls up.
"What's wrong?" Taylor asks.
"Nothing. Are you sure about this, you didn't want me here before."
He sighs and shakes his head. "Can we please forget about before. I'm sorry. This time I want you to be more a girlfriend not a hooker. I made a mistake, can you forgive me?"
Girlfriend, say what! I didn't expect that at all. This man is just full of surprises today. I try to lighten the mood.
"We really are living out my pretty woman fantasy, good stuff." I laugh and because it's kinda true, except the part where I'm an actual hooker. I keep laughing till there are tears coming from my eyes. I only stop when Taylor gives me his infamous growl.
"I'm sorry," I say but he gets out and comes round to open my door.
"Not funny Nessa." Oh it was totally funny but instead of answering I just smile at him while he shakes his head at me.
We walk into his building and it's really nice, a little posh—nah a lot posh. It's on Hanover Dock and I just know I'm going to love the view at night here. It also has a great view of the Liffey from the bottom floor, so I'd say it will be amazing on the top floor especially the way the lights hit the water. On the other side of the water is Kessler Enterprises. Jeez he really likes to keep an eye on his business.
We get in the lift and get off the top floor penthouse, not that I would have expected anything less from Taylor. I know I was here before but that's pretty foggy to me since I was very drunk then running like mad to get out of here.
Once we enter his apartment I notice two things, it's all white with black furniture, not very homey and it's about the size of five of my apartments put together.
Taylor goes to put my bag in a room and I go for a nosy. I spot a picture, it's of Taylor and a girl. She's very pretty and looks about my age with blonde hair but it darker than mine. She looks so familiar I just can't place her though.
Before I have time to consider it further Taylor is beside me. "Who is this?" I ask because considering it's the only picture in here she must be important.
"My sister," he says as he takes the picture from my hands and puts it back down. What was that all about? I raise my eyebrow at him.
"How about a deal, if you go rest on the sofa I'll tell you about her and whatever else you want to know. I know how nosy you are so I'm willing to let you ask me whatever it is you want if it means you will trust me a little more."
Oh hell yeah, Nosy Mary's gonna get her fill. I go to the sofa and he laughs and comes to sit beside me then he does something I don't expect and puts his arm around me pulling me over to cuddle into his chest. Damn him, I love a good cuddle and whit that one move my heart lets him in a little bit more.
"So come on, what do you want to know?" Eh everything but I'll start easy.
"Tell me about your sister." He tenses but then relaxes.
"Ok. She is twenty-six and the apple of my eye. I'd do anything for that girl. She's had me whipped since she was a baby," he says proudly.
"Cool she's my age, although I'm twenty-seven in December. What's her name?"
"Her name is Colleen."
"That's a pretty name. What other family do you have?" I ask.
"My mom and stepdad." He doesn't go into further detail about them. He's not really giving much away but I can see this is a big step for him so I don't push.
"How many businesses do you own?" He seems to relax at the change in subject.
"I buy, repair, and sell businesses going bust. I could own ten one week and three the next, and they could be anywhere in the world." Wow, just wow.
"How do you do all that by yourself? I mean should you really be sitting here during the day with me?"
"My stepfather helps run it. He's also very good at it and I have a million employees who are paid to look after them so don't worry. There is no place else I'd rather be." He seems to tense when he says Stepfather.
"Do you not like him?" I ask carefully and he's quite a minute before he answers.
"It's not that I don't like him. He's a great business man but he's a pretty shitty Father. He was never there and when he was, he still wasn't really there. I didn't care." He sighs and then continues, "I'm adopted. My dad was a bad drinker and my real mom died in birth. When I was two my aunt took me for full custody and she's the best mom I could have asked for. She didn't think she could have kids herself, so Colleen was special surprise and shocked everyone—including my stepfather, who she met when I was. They're the only parents I've ever known and my mom is great and I only really deal with her husband on a business level but he's made sure I've had a decent life and help get my businesses off the ground so I'm thankful."
"Wow that's… I'm sorry and happy for you all at the same time," I say and try to change that subject.
"So how does one become a billionaire, do tell."
"I studied business management in college. When I was twenty-one my real father disappeared, I don't actually know where he went nor do I care, but he left some money with my mom for me. I bought a little bar, fixed it up and sold it for triple the price I had paid for it. I loved the whole reconstruction of it and helping make it a success for the new bar owner. I kept buying and reselling until eventually I was buying bigger and selling for way more," he says this very proudly. I decide not to ask more about his real Dad, I can see it's not something he wants to talk about.
"You're amazing, you really are. Now let's get down to the dirty—who's the girl who has made you hate women so much?" He looks into space but his features turn cold. Yup there's a story here.
"It's not as dramatic as you're going to like Miss Nosy Parker because I don't hate woman. I may have issues with trust because of this girl but not the commitment part—that's just how I feel and I'm trying to change it for you," he says tapping me on the nose.
"Yeah well I want to know. Please tell me about the girl anyway. What did she do to break your trust?"
"Fine, when I was eighteen I was in love with a girl. I really loved her and would have done pretty much anything for her. Thing was to my face she returned my love, but as soon as my back was turned she slept with half my football team. They, as well as her and her friends were all laughing at me. It was so bad I had to change schools. I've never felt that much humiliation in my life. I want to strangle them all. I kept thinking about what an idiot I was. I swore I'd never trust again. Can we leave it at that, you have me all talked out."
He's right though, he's answered so much and I know I'm being selfish making him dredge up his past. I just hope he doesn't ask me to talk because that's something I'm not ready to do.
I decide to have a nap while Taylor sends some emails so he can take the week off to spend with me.
When I wake it's dark. I must have slept for ages. I sit up and see my phone flashing with an incoming call.
"Hello?"
"Nessa! About damn time. Are you ok, do you want me come kick his ass and take you back?"
"I'm sorry, I was asleep and no I'm fine."
"What's going on with you two?"
"I don't know. He wants us to give it a shot at being in an actual relationship. I'm scared Stacey."
"What, no. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure all this out." Could I love him this soon?
"Well I'll let you do that, just keep in contact regularly and I won't come over and beat him. If you want to talk I'm here. Oh and Ray says your dead for blowing his visit. He misses you so we are doing lunch on Wednesday, ok".
"Deal and thanks."
"No problem bitch. Love you. Get loads of rest." I laugh. God I miss her already.
"Will do. Love you too."
I hang up and put my phone down. I go in search for Taylor and food. I find him making calls on the sofa. When he sees me he hangs up. He's showered and changed and only wearing sweatpants low on his waist. And just like that I'm wet… This is not going to be easy.
"Stop looking at me like that Nessa. I'm holding back as much as I can here," he growls. Why is he holding back? Actually, I want him to fuck me.
"Why? I'm grand you don't have to hold back," I say sweetly but it doesn't work.
"No, you're only out of hospital a day. You're supposed to take it easy."
Well poop. "Fine," I sulk.
"Come on babe, please just let me hold you tonight and tomorrow if you rest well we can have some fun." His voice is deep and strained. I can tell he really wants it now but he's being good the stupid man.
Fuck. I'm so sexually frustrated with his damn v, and his damn muscles, and his dam tattoos on display —he is not helping my frustration at all. "Fine but you need to put a top on and feed me."
He bursts out laughing. "I'm sure I can arrange that," he says still laughing. The prick.
"You better," I mutter and he walks off laughing louder. When he arrives back a few minutes later he has a t-shirt on and menus in his hand.
"What do you fancy?" Everything, I want to say but settle for plain out burger and chips. Once he orders we sit back on the couch and just cuddle in the peace and quiet. I love being in his arm a little too much, but I feel so safe here.
"How did you end up in so much debt? I mean you nearly had a heart attack when I suggested clothes and shoes," he questions, breaking the silence and I know I have to answer considering how much he shared with me earlier.
