Nessa (Broken Sisters #1)

by M. Brennan

  I felt terrible. I was falling in love with a girl that I wanted to spoil and show off to the world but I couldn't bring her out in case a picture of us was taken. I was getting nervous especially when she said she was talking to her dad. She told me she didn't see him but she had to have been seeing him and because I thought she had been it meant she was lying to me.

  I convinced myself she knew who I was and I decided to hurt her before she could hurt me. When she mentioned kids and a future I freaked. She sounded so genuine but I figured it was all part of her plan to out me. I never wanted them anyway after knowing what my dad went through, but even when I was telling her I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted a future with her, needed one, but it was time to let her go.

  When she came back the next day I was shocked but the look of hate and disgust on her face killed something in me. Kim had only gotten there, she was looking to be paid for escorting me to my birthday party. It had killed me to take her and not Nessa but everyone could see I had been happier than normal and knew it was a woman so I had to cover my tracks by bringing Kim.

  I spent most my time keeping Nessa in so I couldn't be photographed with her, yet never even considered being photographed with Kim at my very big birthday bash. But that's probably because I spent the whole night wishing Nessa was there.

  I thought I broke her that morning. I didn't it though, it was just now I did that and I don't have the first clue how I'm going to fix this.

  "Taylor is this true? What the hell is going on?" Colleen breaks me from my thoughts.. She looks hurt but I need to find Nessa.

  "It's a long story and I have to go. Can we talk later? I just need to find her." My voice cracks a little. Shit I've got to leave and go after her but Patrick stops me.

  "What have you done to her Taylor? When she found out about your cheating I found her outside you apartment complex on her fucking knees sobbing her heart out. What the fuck is going on and how do you know Nessa?" He's fuming. I don't think I have ever seen him so angry.

  "I didn't cheat but I didn't tell her that." He looks like he wants to hit me but this is his fucking fault.

  "You know what, screw you! If you were there for this fucking family I wouldn't have had to do this." He looks shocked. Like he doesn't know why it's his fucking fault.

  "What do you mean by that? I didn't do this. So easy to blame someone else!" he shouts.

  "Yeah you did, You left your wife and daughter crying themselves to sleep while you went off to your tramp and other daughter on the side. Leaving me to try to keep us all together." He punches me in the jaw and it hurts like hell. My jaw has taken two hits in less than twenty-four hours. For a girl, Stacey has a mean right hook. I'm happy to take the hits though I know I deserve them. I have royally fucked things up.

  "I did not cheat on Sally and Nessa's mother wasn't a tramp." He shakes his head but goes on.

  "I did work every hour I could because I felt terrible playing Daddy to one child while the other was abandoned by me. Everything that happened in the past was a few peoples fault and I take most the blame, but none of this was Nessa's or Colleen's. I just couldn't deal with it all. When Sally cried it was because she was hurting for me too. The first time I saw Nessa and talked to her was a few weeks ago and I've been trying to repair the damage I've done with my two daughters!" he's shouting this and is out of breath when he finishes.

  Nessa was telling me the truth? He really has only started talking to her. I thought it was a cover up because she was getting to close to the truth about who I was. I need to find her and explain myself. Fuck!

  "I know I messed up. I'm going to fix it," I growl but it's not helping matters when I look to Colleen she is crying.

  "I don't know what your game was Taylor but you fell in love with her didn't you?" she asks. She looks so sad for me.

  "Yeah I did, and now she hates me and I have to try fix it." I go to leave and Patrick stop me again.

  "Nessa's mother once told me in order for someone you love to hate you that much they have to love you whole heartily and judging by the look on her face she did love you a lot. If you don't fight for that love, then you deserve what you get. That girl deserves for someone to fight in her corner—God knows I didn't. You have a baby coming, she needs you whether she knows it or not. By the look on your face you need her just as much." He looks just as broken as Nessa but he's right, I can fix this or at least try. I turn and walk out to find my girl and fix this mess.

  I head to her apartment first, when I reach the door it's wide open. I call out but no one answers. I walk in and see someone lying on the kitchen floor. I run over a see that it's Stacey. Shit, what's going on? I shake her a little and she stirs, thank God. She tries to get up but grabs her head.

  "Shit, get me off this floor." I lift her to the chair.

  "You need to find Nessa, now! Brandon's gone crazy and he's blaming her for it all. He's going to kill her." She flinches from shouting.

  "What do you mean? What happened?" I'm panicking now.

  "Will you just go find Nessa, you dumb fuck. Didn't you hear me? He's going to fucking kill her! Go! Now!" What the fuck.

  I grab my phone and call Nessa it goes straight to voicemail. Fuck! I call Patrick who tells me he will come sort Stacey out.

  "Patrick's coming over and he's calling the guards. Is there any place you can think off that he might have taken her?" I'm yelling I don't mean to but I'm panicking.

  "I don't know. You just need to find her Taylor!" She's crying now. I bend down and grab her shoulders.

  "Think Stacey. There had to be somewhere, anywhere he'd take her. God damn it, think!" I shout at her. I shouldn't, she's hurt but I need to find Nessa.

  "Ok, ok let me think… Maybe their old house in Crumlin. Nessa was paying the rent on it. I don't know if he still lived there after she stopped but it's the only place I can think of."

  I hand her a pen and paper and she writes down the address. I don't say another word before I run to my car.

  When I get to the house I notice a car in the garden. I walk to the door and knock but I get no answer. I look around for a way in but when I hear a scream I freeze. Oh God, Nessa!

  I kick the door in. I'm running I'm pure adrenaline. I so terrified but I have to get to Nessa. I run up the stairs and see her tied to bed unconscious and bleeding from the side or stomach, there is too much blood, I don't know where it's coming from.

  I feel like I'm going to puke but Brandon has spotted me. He's laughing. I'm going to kill this mother fucker, but before I can form any sort of plan he raises the knife in the air. I just jump and tackle him. He nicks my arm but I manage to get the knife. I punch him hard in the face and keep punching till I'm sure he's out cold.

  I run to Nessa, untying her arms. I don't know what to do so I just pick her up, hold her and try to apply pressure to her wound.

  "Please Nessa, wake up. Please don't leave me. I'm so sorry. Please."

  I called Patrick and told him where I was I hope he get the ambulance her soon. I feel something wet hit my hand and I realise I'm crying.

  I look up at the guards and ambulance that have just arrived. I didn't even hear them come in, I feel like I'm in a dream.

  When they try to take her away from me I don't let go. It takes Patrick and a guard to drag me away. They want to check my arm but I don't care, I just need Nessa. They rush her out and that sends me into a whole new panic.

  I can't breathe. Fuck, someone is telling me to breathe but they annoy me more than anything. I take a deep breath. I need to calm down to get to Nessa. It takes me about five minutes but I manage to calm down. When I look up Patrick is there. Why hasn't he gone to with her?

  "I waited to give you a lift. I don't think you should drive. We can send someone to pick up your car later." With that I jump up and we head to his car. We don't talk on the way to the hospital.

  I jump out as we arrive leaving Patrick to park. I know he should be here more than I should but I'm selfish, I need to see h
er. I run to a and e and grab the first nurse I find.

  "I need to see Nessa Donoghue. She was just brought in by ambulance." She looks a little scared. I need to calm down. "I'm sorry she's my girlfriend, she's been stabbed, and she's pregnant I'm panicking a bit. She wasn't conscious when they took her." She seems to have relaxed.

  "Let me check the computer." She goes over and types in something. "I can't find her name yet so could you please take a seat in one of our family rooms and I'll go see what I can find out." She walks off and I head to the room I'm supposed to wait in. As I go to open the door Patrick comes through the main entrance, I wave him over.

  "The nurse is going to find out where she is. We have to wait in here."

  Patrick nods and we go in, it's a small room with six chairs all round it with a small table in the middle. It has that hospital smell that turns your stomach. We have been sitting here for about twenty minutes when the nurse returns.

  "She's in surgery at the moment. The stab wound has caused some tissue damage that has to be sorted to help stop the bleeding. I'm afraid that's all I could find out. You will have to wait till the doctor comes in once he's done in surgery." With that she goes back out.

  "Are you ok Taylor?" Patrick asks sadly.

  "Shouldn't I be asking you that? She is your daughter, I'm just the prick who ruined her life."

  I know I'm being a prick right now but fuck if I know deal with this shit. I feel like a fucking girl. I take charge of companies all over the world yet and this one girl can bring me to my knees.

  The door opens and Sally and Colleen come through. They hug Patrick and Sally comes to sit next to me.

  "How you holding up? Colleen has got me up to speed, quiet a mess you made, but then love is very messy," she says smiling softly.

  "I really got it all wrong, didn't I?" I'm bitter and she can hear it in my voice.

  "Taylor you and Colleen were young, it wasn't something I wanted to explain. Now that you and Nessa are involved I can't really tell you it all but I can tell you my part in it." Her part? Just how fucked up is this mess? I nod for her to go on.

  "I'm not going into the whole nitty-gritty now considering where we are but I'll do my best to get to the point." She smiles then begins. "I fell in love with Patrick and he fell right back. I was in an abusive relationship prior to this and it caused me my chance to have kids or so I thought. I only left when I saw your father wasn't coping and I took you. I didn't want you tainted with anything bad so I left him and moved away with you. I was in pretty bad shape emotionally. I didn't know how to deal with a man like Patrick, with one who loved me so gently and wanted to spoil me. I was so used to been punished I didn't know what to do with someone like Patrick who was just so nice. I freaked out and pushed him away, told him there was nothing between us. That was my mistake. Patrick was understandably upset and he turned to his best friend. I didn't ever get to meet her but we did talk on the phone. she was a lovely woman. While Patrick and I were apart they slept together." She stops speaking she doesn't look hurt more saddened by it all.

  "A month later I knew I made a mistake and he confessed everything. I was all over the place emotionally and I didn't want to lose him. I thought by stopping him from being near his best friend it would help but it didn't, it just made Patrick sad. I could see how it was hurting him. She was like a sister, they'd made a mistake. As did I, so I told him to go see her that's when he found out about Nessa." She turns to Patrick who looks at me with regret in his eyes.

  "Jane, that's Nessa mam, asked me to stay away to go back to Sally, Colleen, and you, to enjoy my family but I had to let her enjoy Nessa. She knew I loved Sally and didn't want to come between us. Even then she thought of me and I walked away giving her what she wanted not thinking I should fight for my daughter or my friendship." A tear slips down his face. How could I get everything wrong and what's Nessa side of this? No matter what it is she is never going to forgive me for this.

  "I'm sorry for everything Patrick. I… Fuck, I don't know how to make this right."

  I start pacing when the door opens again it's Nessa two friends. The one with the dark hair, I think her name is Sam. is giving me the death stare. Just great. The blonde one speaks though.

  "Hi we're Nessa friends. We have been down the hall with Stacey and she's going crazy wondering how Nessa is doing but they won't tell us anything."

  Colleen stands up. "Hi I'm Colleen. She's in surgery right now. We're just waiting for her to come out."

  "Who the hell are you all anyway, her family? The only one I have ever seen is that prick in the corner and I have known her since we were five." That comes from Sam and she is fucking pissed. Looking around the room, everyone looks to be in a little shock.

  "Why don't you go and I'll send someone to tell you how she is when they bring her back," I say hoping she takes her anger out on me not the rest of my family.

  Jess grabs Sam's arm and tries to drag her out but she won't move. "Please Sam, not now. Come on." But Sam shakes her head.

  "No I will not. how fucking dare you, all of you. That girl has been through the mill and what, you all decided she didn't have enough to deal with so throw her some more. She was just fine without you all. She's the strongest person I know, yet she so broken, she has never once let anyone see the broken part until recently when you all came crashing into her life. Has she even told you about the day she found her mother? No she hasn't because she hasn't told anyone. All we know is that she found her in the bath. Can any of you image what's that is like. Where was her family then? No where because we're her family, so you can all go to hell." When she finished she crying, Jess is as shocked as the rest of the room but she snaps out of it to hug her.

  "Come on Sam. It's ok, she will be ok and she will kick your ass for that," Jess talks to her gently. Jesus, Nessa's friends are all little fire crackers. I'm glad in a way that she has them and that they have her back. Jess talks Sam into leaving. I'm outta here, fuck this.

  "I'm going too. She's right, I have done enough damage. I need to leave her alone, not stay here. Can you tell me how she is and if the-" Jesus I can't say it but luckily Sally knows what I want to say.

  "Taylor, I'll tell you if you're sure you want to leave." She is giving me a pitying look. One I can't stand. I need to leave so I nod and walk out.

  I head home and open a bottle of whiskey and start drinking.

  Nessa

  Ugh, I feel weird and I hurt all over. I'm trying to open my eyes but I'm too sleepy. I hear Sam and Stacey talking. Ugh, I know I'm in hospital again. Shit Brandon! My baby! Oh God, my baby!

  "Relax Nessa. Take your time and open your eyes." I would if I could Stacey.. I try again and a bit of light comes through and stings making me shut them again.

  "Oh stop being a baby and open your damn eyes Nessa." This comes from my lovely friend Sam who's getting a slap when I can move again. I try again and I get them open a little more. I try to talk but my throat is too dry.

  "Water," I manage to croak out.

  "We will get you some. Now try to open your eyes again." I do and I manage to keep them open longer but it's still hard. I do it again and they stay open. Everything is blurred but it comes back into focus bit by bit.

  Stacey and Sam are beside me looking terrified. "Seriously quit looking at me like I'm going to die," I whisper. "My baby? Shit is my baby ok?" I start panicking but Stacey puts her hand on mine.

  "Relax. Everything's fine. It's ok, the baby is fine." Oh thank God I lay my head back.

  The nurse comes in and allows me to have a drink. I sit up and feel like I have been run over with a train. My side hurts like a bitch and I feel like my friends are mourning a loss. I'm seriously over this shit.

  "Seriously will you guys change your faces before you're stuck like that." I smirk. I probably shouldn't joke but my luck has been that shitty lately, it's begging to be funny. With that thought I laugh which causes me to wince. Shit my side fucking hurts!

  "Ha that's w
hat you get," snickers Sam.

  "Well if I don't laugh I might cry and lord knows I'm turning into a right moan bag these days," I reply because it's been tough to deal with shit lately. How can one person deal with all this and not break into a million pieces? I feel lost and broken but I need to be strong for the little one growing inside me. I need to just shut it all down and deal with this shit and stop running from it all.

  "Nessa I don't even know what to say to you. You are not a moan bag, you have been through shit. It's ok to cry. I wish you would just talk about it." This comes from Stacey who still hasn't taken that damn look off her face.

  "Fine let's talk about everything, Stacey. Let's get it all right out there." My voice is still crackly. I might not be able to talk much but hey, I'm going to do this because it seems my friends are finding it hard to deal with too and I love these bitches so it's time.

  "You have just woke up after being out cold for a day because you were stabbed by an ex-boyfriend while running from the current love of your life and you really want to get it off your chest now? Just rest, Nessa!" Stacey is seriously pissed now but so am I.

  "Stacey I feel like I'm broken into a million pieces and I don't know how I'm going to put myself back together. I am going to try though and I'm starting right now," I whisper shout because my voice is seriously fucked right now.

  "What did you see when you came home from school that day?" Sam asks. Straight to the point. Well done Sam. I close my eyes but open them straight away because that image is still so clear.

  "I walked in and called out to my mam like I always did. She didn't answer so I went to my room."

  I stop talking. Can I do this? I shake my head I have no idea why because it's not doing anything. I have blocked the memory for so long. It's just so hard going back to that moment.

  "Just stop Nessa. You're not ready," Stacey states firmly but because Sam said it I know for sure it's something they all want me to share. I've been trying to block it out for years maybe sharing is the way to go so I close my eyes and concentrate.