by Donna Hill
Elizabeth moaned out his name as she gripped the sink and rotated her hips. She wanted all of him, every inch. She couldn’t seem to get enough.
And then he did something she’d only seen in an X-rated video. He lifted her by her hips and forced her legs around his back. He was holding her in midair, the only thing keeping her from falling was her hold on the sink and his arms wrapped around her waist. She locked her legs and he pushed and pushed. The sensation was surreal. With each thrust, her swollen clit got teased. Her body trembled. Ron pumped faster. His sweat dripped onto her back. Her muscles screamed. The heat from the steam enveloped them. She heard his ragged breathing in her ear.
“Ellie!” He grabbed her right breast and squeezed.
His rock solid erection throbbed inside her, hit that spot and her body imploded. She lost all control as wave after wave of electricity rushed through her. Her mouth opened to scream but nothing emerged.
“I love you, baby…love you,” Ron moaned as the last of him filled her.
With great effort, Elizabeth dropped her legs to the floor and slid down to the cool, damp tiles. Ron collapsed next to her and pulled her against his chest. His heart was still racing.
“Guess we’re not as old as we thought,” he said, a bit breathless.
She looked at him with a silly grin on her face. “Forget the shower, we need a hot soak.”
Ron reached over to the tub and put the stopper in the drain. The water from the shower slowly filled the tub. Standing, he then leaned down and lifted her into his muscular arms and lowered her into the steamy water. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. He stepped into the tub behind her and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed the back of her neck then cupped her breasts in his palms, massaging them gently.
“Hmm.” She sighed. “It doesn’t get better than this.”
He thought about his conversation with Ali and was glad he’d taken the three-pointer.
“Just so you know,” Elizabeth said the following morning, while she hunted around for her discarded clothing, “I’m going to meet with Matt later today. I’d put off calling him. But I know he wants to talk about his decision for his treatment. And we need to tell our daughters what’s going on.”
“You haven’t told them yet?”
She shook her head.
“You gotta do that, Ell. Even if he won’t, you need to.”
“I know.” She put on her recovered under wear. “I plan on seeing them later on today.” She hesitated a moment. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
He stopped stripping the bed and turned to her. He couldn’t imagine any more surprises. “What?”
“That FBI guy…”
“Yeah…”
“He’s seeing Dawne.”
She told him about Brian coming to the spa and Dawne showing up. “I couldn’t have been more stunned. I haven’t told anyone—except you.”
“Geez, what next?”
“Don’t even ask,” she said drolly. “At some point, all of this has to come to a grinding halt.”
“Well, I have to agree with you on this one.
Just leave it alone. We definitely don’t want to push that Jennings the wrong way.”
“He seemed truly sincere, ya know—about Dawne.”
“He’s in a pretty awkward spot, himself.”
“Exactly.” She finished dressing.
“There’s not much we can do but wait it out.”
“I agree.” She went up to him and kissed him tenderly. “Thank you for understanding…about Matt. We’re going to get through this.”
“From your mouth…”
She pecked him one last time. “I gotta run. I have a full day. I’ll call you as soon as I can.” She grabbed her bag and headed for the door.
Ron sat down on the side of the bed. Well, he’d taken his shot, now he had to wait and see if he was going to be fouled.
Chapter 15
Barbara was thankful for a day off, from the spa and work. She needed some time to herself.
The conversations the ladies had the night before didn’t really hit her until after they were gone. All of them were experiencing difficult issues and choices in their relationships.
Stephanie had to deal with the fact that Tony had a daughter who would become a part of their lives. Ann Marie had finally broken free of the emotional hold that her former husband, Terrance, had on her to be able to make a life with Sterling. Ellie had come to terms with the idea that you can’t go back and that Ron was her future. Even Terri had given up her career because she knew that her love for Michael was more important.
On the surface, these were the types of situations that would make women activists cringe—women sacrificing all for the men they loved. But, Barbara realized the issues were so much deeper than that.
Love and happiness brought fulfillment in a way that a job, a new house, friends and even a fabulous career never could. It pushed the darkness away and brought light into your life. Her client, Veronica, was a perfect example of the power of love and, now, so were her girlfriends.
She put the remainder of the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on, straightened up the living room then washed down the bathroom and collected the dirty clothes for the laundry.
The only one left at the crossroads was her, she realized as she poured her second cup of tea for the morning.
Barbara went to stand by her living room window. She looked down the six stories to the hustle and bustle below. New York had been her home for years. It was where she and her husband, Marvin, had decided to build their lives. Although they’d never been blessed with children, they’d had a good life here.
She sighed, and thought about her short but thrilling affair with Michael. He, too, had suggested that she leave, follow him. It had been tempting, but she’d balked then, as well. As it turned out, it had been for the best. But, at the time, when she’d been undecided about a move with Michael, she had been for the same reasons she was now—her life, her job, her friends, her business were here in New York.
She thought again about Veronica’s words of wisdom. Sure, she would miss her friends, someone would fill her job and the big, bad Apple wouldn’t miss one less person. So, what was holding her back from telling Wil that she would love to go with him to North Carolina and build a new life?
Fear. Plain and simple. Fear of the unknown. Everything around her was familiar. She’d be come so entrenched that she couldn’t lift her feet out of the sludge. But the risk of staying in place was that you never moved forward and life would simply pass you by.
The beep of the dishwasher gently shook her from her thoughts. So what is it going to be, Babs? Her heart knocked in her chest. Oh, how easy it was to simply sit on the fence. She smiled ruefully and turned away from the window.
“I’m coming over,” Elizabeth said into the phone. “I should be there in about a half hour. We need to talk, Matt, and we need to decide what to tell the girls.”
“Fine. I’ll be here waiting.”
Elizabeth hung up the phone. She was determined to set the parameters straight between her and Matt, once and for all. He wasn’t going to use guilt to get her to give up and give in. She wanted to be there for him, but she also had a responsibility to herself and her relationship with Ron.
Elizabeth made a last minute check that everything was in order in her apartment, stopped downstairs at the spa and made sure that there was no crisis that couldn’t wait then hurried out to her car. The sooner she got this over with, the better she would feel. The reality was, as hard as it was to swallow, her and Matt wouldn’t be in this situation if he hadn’t cheated on her. She kept that thought at the forefront of her mind as she pressed the buzzer to his apartment.
“Glad you came, Ell,” he said, and stepped aside to let her in.
“How are you feeling?”
“Not bad, actually. The change in meds helped. The doctor said, as soon as I’m finished with the antibiotics…
he wants me to get started with treatment.”
She walked into the apartment, still amazed by the stylish splendor. She took a seat in one of the armchairs.
“You’re looking pretty businesslike today,” he said, attempting to lighten the mood.
“I’m going to get right to the point—” He held up his hand. “I know the whole thing about ladies first, but there’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago.” He drew in a breath. “I knew something was wrong while we were married.”
Her eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”
“At first, I figured I was just tired, overworked. I didn’t want you to know that I couldn’t…perform…at least, not how I used to. So I stopped making love to you. I wanted to blame you somehow, make myself believe that I was no longer at tracted to you and that’s why I couldn’t…” He swallowed and looked away. “That’s why I took up with…her. I wanted to prove something to myself, convince myself that it was because I didn’t love you, anymore, that I couldn’t perform.”
Her body grew tense. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“At first I was fine. And I figured I was right, that the love and desire was gone. But I was wrong, Ell. That wasn’t what was wrong with me. I just refused to face it. Refused to go see my doctor. I was scared. Scared to face my fears and I sacrificed our marriage in the process.”
Elizabeth didn’t know if she wanted to scream in rage or burst out in tears of anguish. Her stomach rolled until it knotted into a tight ball of fire.
She stared at him in disbelief. He ruined their marriage, damaged her emotions beyond repair, disrupted their family all because he was afraid of his own immortality.
“I know I should have told you…”
“Don’t,” she said, finally finding her voice. “Don’t try to explain it away.” She lowered her head, fought back tears. She looked across at him. “I wish,” she said slowly, “that what you said could make everything go away, Matt.” She drew in a breath. “But it can’t. Our marriage was built on trust and honoring each other. You violated both of those things. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me what you thought was wrong. Instead, you made me think it was me, that I had done something to deserve your coldness. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”
“Ell—”
“You dishonored our marriage and the vows we spoke when you slept with another woman—whatever your reason. In sickness and in health, Matt. In sickness and in health. That’s what we said, it’s what we promised each other.”
Slowly, almost painfully, she stood. His eyes rose to meet hers as she did.
“I’m sorry, Ellie. I swear to you, I’m sorry.”
“I know,” she said gently. “So am I.” She wiped at her eyes. “I’ll always love you, Matt, but not in the way you want and not in the way you need.” She shook her head. “We can’t go back and undo everything. I’m going to move on with my life and you have to, as well. And I won’t let you use this illness to guilt me into coming back. That, I won’t do. So you need to decide about your treatment and I plan to tell the girls. They’ll be there for you like I will. You don’t need to do this alone.”
He hung his head. “I understand.” He looked up at her, realizing all that he’d lost.
She pressed her lips together into a tight line of sadness then turned and walked out.
Elizabeth returned to her car and for a long time she simply sat still. She’d made a decision back there that would forever seal their future. It hurt, deeply, There was no denying how bad it hurt. But, as sad as it was to admit, she felt oddly relieved. She knew she’d given her all to her marriage, to her husband and to her children, often at the expense of herself.
For months, she’d berated herself, belittled her womanhood, believing that somehow it had been her fault, that she had sent her husband into the arms of another woman. It wasn’t her. It was fear and mistrust. Fear and mistrust had destroyed her marriage. It was eroding a country. It was a powerful, insidious weapon.
But she wouldn’t let the effects of it dictate her actions or make her second-guess herself any longer. She put the car in gear and drove away.
Matthew would be all right and so would she. She headed to her daughters’ restaurant. They needed to talk.
By the time she reached Delectables it was the height of the lunch-hour rush. Most of the tables were full and the counter seats were occupied from end to end. She pulled the door open and stepped inside and was welcomed by the aroma of something wonderful.
She spotted Dawne behind the counter and her twin, Desiree, in the back taking an order. She found an empty seat and waited. Perhaps this wasn’t the best time, she thought, realizing how the news would upset them. But putting it off wouldn’t lessen the burden.
Shortly, Dawne arrived at her table. “Mom.” She leaned down and gave her a kiss. “This is a surprise.”
Elizabeth smiled at her daughter while, at the same time, knowing that she was seeing the man who was trying to build a case against Ron. She shook off the thought. “Hey, sweetie. Busy, I see.”
“Hmm, that’s putting it mildly. Can I get you something or are you just hanging out?”
“What smells so good?”
Dawne’s eyes brightened. “A new soup. You’ll love it. I would tell you the ingredients but then I’d have to kill you.” She grinned. “Want to try some?”
“Absolutely.”
Dawne started to walk off. Elizabeth clasped her arm. “Honey, when you bring the soup back could you bring Desi with you. I need to talk to you both.”
The happiness, which had been there seconds before, vanished. “What is it?”
“I want to tell you both at the same time. Okay.”
“Ma, you’re scaring me.”
“Go get my soup and bring your sister.”
Desiree arrived before the soup. “What’s going on? Dawne said you wanted to talk to us.”
Elizabeth looked over Desiree’s shoulder and saw Dawne on her way with her order. She slid onto the booth next to her sister. She held on to the soup. “Talk first, eat later.”
“Fine.” Elizabeth drew in a long breath. “There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just going to tell you. Your father is sick.”
“Sick? Like what kind of sick?” Dawne asked.
“He has prostate cancer.”
Both of them gasped in unison.
“Dad.”
“Oh, no. How bad is it?”
“They caught it early, but not early enough. He has to have treatment.”
“Chemo?” Desiree dared to ask.
“We don’t know yet. Your father still has to decide on the course of action. He’s been offered several options.”
The twins were silent, letting the information sink in.
Dawne looked at her mother. “How long have you known?”
“A few days. He called me and wanted me to go with him to the hospital for the biopsy.”
“I can’t believe it,” Desiree said in a far off voice. “Dad has always been so healthy.” Her face drew into tight lines of worry. “Cancer.”
“We need to go see him, Des,” Dawne said.
Desiree nodded.
“There’s something else you both need to know.”
“You’re not sick, are you?” Dawne asked, her voice rising in panic.
Elizabeth patted her hand. “I’m fine, sweetheart.”
“So what is it?” Desiree asked.
Elizabeth cleared her throat. “The past year has been extremely difficult. What happened between me and your father hurt me deeply and I know that both of you hold him responsible for that. Today your dad told me all of the reasons why…” She explained to them as best she could about Matthew and his affair, how it happened and why. When she was finished they all had tears in their eyes.
“I hated him for what he did to you,” Dawne said. “But I didn’t know. I just thought he was being like all the men you read about wh
o cheat on their wives. He was another statistic.”
“It didn’t have to happen,” Desiree said, her voice empty.
“Now that you know…does this mean that you’re going to give him another chance, try to work things out?” Dawne asked.
“I wish it was that easy, sweetheart.”
“Does that mean, no?” Dawne asked in disbelief. “You can’t walk out on him now.” Her voice rose. “Not when you know why and all that he’s going through.”
“Dawne, it’s much deeper than saying I’m sorry and brushing it off.”
“No, it’s not! He hurt you, yes, but he’s sorry. He’s sick and he did it because he was scared. Not because he didn’t love you—didn’t love us, anymore. This is about Ron, isn’t it?” she threw at her mother.
“Dawne!”
“It is, isn’t it? He put you up to this. Would you walk out on him, too, if he did something wrong?”
“D, chill,” her sister admonished. “This is about Mom and Dad, not you. It’s her decision and her life.”
She glared at her sister, jumped up and stormed off. Moments later, she was out the door.
Elizabeth sat there transfixed. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. Her daughters had been her greatest supporters during the months of separation and the subsequent divorce. They were the ones who pushed her into going out again, giving Ron a chance; Dawne, in particular.
“She’ll come around. She just needs to come to grips with it, that’s all,” Desiree said, hoping to ease the distraught look on her mother’s face.
“What about you?”
“It’s hard to accept the fact that Dad could be such a screw up. He was always my knight in shining armor and could do no wrong, ya know? The whole thing is a rude awakening and now to find out why…” She shook her head sadly and looked at her mother. “Dad will get through it. Me and Dawne will make sure of that and so will you. In the meantime, you have your own life to live, Mom. Dad made a choice and, unfortunately, he has to live with the consequences. You can’t expect to hurt people and destroy lives and not have to pay for it in some way.”
