by Donna Hill
“When did you get so wise?”
Desiree grinned. “Must be all this health food.” She clasped her mother’s hand. “Or good genes,” she said with affection. “I’ll talk to Dawne when she calms down. Okay. So don’t worry about her. She’s the hothead, I’m the cute one, remember?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Don’t tell her that.” She pulled her bowl of soup toward her. “I know you need to get back to your customers but I wanted to ask you something.”
“Sure.”
“The other day, Dawne’s friend, Brian, came to the spa.”
Desiree’s brows rose in surprise. “Really. That’s great. What about him?”
“Well, Dawne was there and I indirectly found out that they plan on seeing each other.”
Desiree shrugged. “Okay, is there a question in this somewhere?”
“You’ve obviously been around him more than I have. What do you think of him.”
Desiree twisted her lips to the side in thought. “The first couple of times when he came in I thought he was cute, just kind of uptight, if you know what I mean—like his collar was too tight or something. He started talking to D or, rather, she started talking to him—She’s the aggressive one.” Desiree winked at her mother. “I don’t know, I guess they kind of like each other. He seems nice enough and he’s smart enough to know the difference between the two of us. So he gets major points for that.” She wrinkled her brow. “Why?”
“Just wondering. I hadn’t heard anything about him.”
Desiree took the bowl of soup from her mother. “Let me get you a fresh bowl. You really can’t appreciate the flavors when it starts getting cold.”
Elizabeth watched her daughter bounce away. Hmmph, nice guy and FBI agent was an oxymoron. Of all the people in the world for her daughter to get involved with. She certainly couldn’t say anything to Dawne now, not after her declaration about her father and believing that Ron was at the root of her refusal to go back to Matthew. Any mention of Brian investigating Ron would only reinforce any misgivings Dawne may have.
She turned to look out the plate-glass window. If there was any justice in the world, Brian would turn out to be one of the good guys and leave her good guy alone.
Chapter 16
Stephanie was dragging her feet today. She couldn’t seem to get herself together. Each time she stood up her head spun and her stomach revolted.
“Arrgh, I can’t take it,” she wailed, and flopped back down on the bed.
Tony stood over her with a cup of tea and some crackers. “Here, baby, try to get this down. I called the doctor and he said it would help.”
“Baby, baby, that’s the problem,” she groaned, and shut her eyes. “All along, I’ve been fine. Now I just want to die. How am I going to get through two more months of this? Oh, Lord, suppose this morning sickness lasts through my entire pregnancy?”
Tony tried not to panic, she sounded utterly miserable. “It won’t.”
“How would you know? Have you ever been pregnant?” she snapped.
The question was like a punch in the gut. No he hadn’t, but Kim had. And every day that she was, all he could do was pray for one more day with her.
When he found out that Stephanie was pregnant he felt a mixture of elation and fear. Kim’s pregnancy had killed her and, to this day, years later, the guilt still rested quietly in his soul.
Stephanie reached up and grabbed his hand. “I’m sorry,” she whispered seeing the pained look on his face. “That was totally insensitive of me.”
He blinked the images away. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it that way.” He gazed down at her. “If anything ever happened to you…” His voice caught.
“Nothing is going to happen to me except that I’m going to get fat and grumpy.” She smiled and let her eyes drift across his face.
“Hmm, I think I’ll love you, anyway.”
She poked him in the arm. “You betta.” She pushed herself to a sitting position on the bed. At least the room didn’t move. “There’s something we need to talk about.”
“Sure.”
“I know that your sister, Leslie, has been taking care of your daughter, Joy. And I’m sure Joy is happy, but now with our baby coming I think we need to start making plans for Joy to come and live with us.”
“I’d been thinking the same thing. I just wasn’t sure when.”
“It would be great if she could be here during the whole pregnancy so that she would feel a part of everything.”
“Couple of problems.”
“What?”
“Although both of us have really jazzy apartments, neither one is big enough for both of us, Joy and a baby.”
“Which brings me to my next point.”
“And that is?”
“We need to buy a house. If we’re going to be a family, then we need a family house. I want our kids to have room to stretch out, a backyard, run up and down the stairs, not the elevator.”
“Are you thinking of leaving Manhattan?”
“Unless we can find something here with a reasonable sized yard in back. Let’s be honest, I can do PR from anywhere. You don’t have to be locked in a space to do your photography and graphics. That’s why they invented the Internet.” She winked.
He playfully popped her on the nose. “Smarty.”
“But, seriously, if we have to leave, I don’t mind.” She took his hand. “As long as all of us are together.”
“If we leave New York, or at least the city, what about your sister, Samantha.”
She drew in a breath. “That was the other thing. I want to bring Sam with us.”
Tony’s dark brown eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Very. She’s making tremendous progress. She’ll never be one hundred percent, I know that, but I want to be near her.”
“It’s a lot of responsibility, baby. Me, Joy, a new baby and Sam. I mean, I know you can bring home the bacon fry it up in a pan and all, but…”
She whacked him again on the arm. “Very funny.”
“You must be feeling better, your right hook is stronger.” He chuckled. She made a face. “Babe, whatever you want to do, we’ll make it work. I’m along for the ride.”
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as you are.”
Damn, she loved this man. “Then, we need to start making some real plans, huh?” She squeezed his hand.
“Yeah, I think we do.”
Never one to spend time wasting time, Stephanie got herself in gear while Tony was in the shower. By the time he got out and was dressed, she’d booked an appointment with Ann Marie to go house hunting.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Tony asked as he tucked his shirt in his pants.
“Well, if morning sickness holds true to its name, I’m done until tomorrow.” She turned from side to side in the mirror trying to imagine her slender figure rounded. At least, she finally got some breasts to go along with her behind.
“You look beautiful,” he said, sliding his arms around her waist. He lifted her hair from her shoulders and tenderly kissed the back of her neck.
She turned in his arms to face him. “In a couple of months, you won’t be able to get this close,” she whispered, and brushed her lips against his.
He ran his hand down her back and pulled her closer. “You mean, like this?”
“Hmm. Yeah, like this,” she murmured against his mouth.
“What time do we have to meet Ann Marie?”
“An hour.”
He began unbuttoning her blouse. “I can get us there in five minutes.”
She giggled as they tumbled onto the bed.
“Know what I’ve been thinking?” Tony said as he moved slowly inside her.
“That this is the best love you’ve ever made?” She rolled her hips against him.
“That, too. But I was thinking that I don’t want to move into a house with my baby’s mama.”
She froze. “What?”
He braced
his weight above her and looked down into her eyes. “I want to move into a home with my wife.”
Her heart thumped in her chest. “What are you saying?”
“I want to marry you, Steph. Make a life with you and our children. I want to take care of you for as long as there is a breath in my body.”
“Tony?” she said, breathless.
“Marry me, Stephanie Moore, be my wife, my soul mate.”
She couldn’t find words. They were stuck somewhere between fear and terror. A baby she could deal with, a five-year-old child she could open her heart to, a boyfriend she could enjoy—A husband? It was so final, so permanent, so real. A wife?
“On one condition,” she said.
“Anything.”
“That you promise to love me just like this for as long as we both shall live.”
A smile as bright as daybreak spread across his face. “It’s a tough job…but somebody’s got to do it.”
She wrapped her arms around him and opened herself up to all that he offered, everything that he promised. Maybe after house-hunting they could go diamond-ring shopping! Wait til she told the girls.
Barbara was just getting ready to run a few errands when her phone rang. She did an about-face and picked up the extension in the kitchen.
“Chile’, guess what?”
“I haven’t got a clue, Ann Marie.” She put down her bag of laundry.
“Well, I’ll tell ya. Stephanie and Tony just made an appointment with me to look at houses.”
“Get out of here.”
“Ya heard me right.”
“Wow.”
“Looks like our girl is really going to settle down. I still can’t believe that this is the same woman who, just a year ago, was messing around with her married boss.”
“Finding the right man can change your mind about a lot of things,” Barbara said as realization slowly dawned on her.
Chapter 17
Matthew hadn’t moved from the couch since Elizabeth left earlier in the day. Were it not for the full moon he would’ve been wrapped in total darkness. Long shadows stretched out across the floor. He’d never felt more alone.
Throughout the months, there had been a part of him that held on to the hope that Elizabeth would come back to him. He’d been so sure that, after he finally told her about his health, she would come running. She had, but not in the way he wanted.
Ellie had been his first and only love. From the moment he saw her all those years ago, he knew that she was the one for him. They’d had a good marriage, one that others wanted to duplicate.
Getting involved with Theresa had been so stupid. It was if some other person had gotten into his head. He’d wanted to prove his manhood and Theresa had provided the vehicle. She’d made it easy.
They’d been working together for about four years. She was bright, eager, talented and pretty. She’d always been willing to help out on projects, go the extra mile. He knew he could depend on her.
They were working late one evening and his car was in the shop for some minor repairs. Theresa had offered to drop him off at the train station.
“It’s not a problem, Matt,” she’d said. “It’s pouring outside. I can drive you home if you want.”
The prospect of hiking through the downpour wasn’t in the least bit appealing. “You’re on,” he’d said. “Let me get my coat and I’ll be right with you.”
“How’s your wife and your daughters,” Theresa had asked as they’d darted to her car beneath Matthew’s umbrella.
“Good. Have to get you back over for dinner sometime.”
“I’d like that. Your daughters are so much fun.”
Matthew chuckled.
Theresa opened the door to her ten-year-old Honda Accord.
“It looks a mess but it drives like a dream,” she said, referring to the dents and dings and duck tape around the fender.
“I hope you didn’t cause all of these.”
She got inside, and Matt slid into his seat.
“Whew.” She leaned over and stuck the key in the ignition. “No. My brother. Every time I loan him my car, some ‘mystery driver’ bumps into him.”
“Younger or older?”
“Older. You would think he’d know better or at least have his own car.” She laughed. “He’s a pain, but I love him. What about you, any brothers or sisters?”
“No. Only child.”
“Wow. So you must have been a spoiled brat, huh?”
“Actually, pretty much the opposite. If anything went missing or got broken I had no one to blame.”
There was that infectious laugh again. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“Hey, you just went past the train station.”
“I know. I figured I may as well drive you home. It’s no big deal, really.”
“I owe you,” he said.
“Lunch.”
“Deal.”
Had it begun then? he wondered, staring out into the night. Or when she’d told him they’d known each other long enough that she could call her Terri—all her friends did. Too many nights, he’d asked himself, at what moment did he mentally cross the line into adultery? It starts there, in your head—the thoughts and images take hold and begin to take on a life of their own.
Or did it start when he was in bed with his wife and couldn’t perform, and not for the first time? It was intermittent at first, so he passed it off as exhaustion. But that wasn’t it, there were other symptoms that he’d refused to address. Instead, he’d let the images take over, give him an excuse, somewhere to put blame. If he could blame his adultery on Elizabeth, somehow he could escape his guilt and avoid a truth he refused to accept—that he was sick. But if he didn’t acknowledge it, if he didn’t confirm it, then it wasn’t real.
He snorted at his stupidity. How many television advertisements, billboards and posters had he seen urging men to get checked? But he’d convinced himself that it “could never be me.” Sure, it ran in the family, but “not me. My problem is with my wife. My wife who can’t satisfy me, anymore.”
His ego, his false sense of male invincibility had destroyed his marriage.
In the distance he thought he heard the bell followed by knocking. Go away, he thought he said. But the knocking persisted.
He pulled himself up and went to the door. “Who is it?” he barely got out.
“Dad, it’s me, Dawne. Open the door.”
He shut his eyes and reluctantly opened the door.
“What took you so long? I’ve been ringing the downstairs bell for ten minutes. Finally, one of your neighbors came and let me in. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“Can I come in?”
“I—I was resting.”
“Dad, I want to talk to you.”
“Not now, Dawne.” He wouldn’t move from in front of the door.
“Dad…I know. Mom told us today.”
His entire body seemed to deflate. He turned away from her and walked back inside.
Dawne stepped into the darkness and shut the door behind her. As she followed him inside, she turned on the lights. When she looked at her father, her heart skipped a beat. He looked as if he’d aged ten years since she’d last seen him. His eyes were empty. He looked haggard. Her fear escalated.
She put down her bag and slowly sat. “Dad, talk to me, please.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“You. Your health. I want to hear it from you.”
“I have cancer,” he said simply.
“What are you doing? How are they going to treat it?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“Why not? Dad, you can’t waste time. You can’t.”
“I thought it would be a decision your mother and I would make together but…”
“So, because of that, you’re going to do nothing? I can’t believe you. What about us?”
He dragged his gaze to meet hers.
“What about us, Dad? I know why you messed a
round on Mom and I hated you for that. Hated you for hurting her that way. She didn’t deserve it. Now you want to punish us, too, by forcing us to watch you die—while you make a decision? When are you going to stop being so selfish?”
The words were like a cold bucket of water being doused on his head.
“I spent all afternoon at the library.” She reached in her bag and took out a bunch of papers. “I got all the information I could find on treatments.” She shoved them at him. “You’re going to make a decision. And I’m not leaving here until you do.” When he didn’t react she put them on his lap then folded her arms in defiance. “I’m the aggressive one, Desiree is the cute one, remember? Read.”
A sad smile drifted across his mouth. He knew that once Dawne got something into her head, that was it. He’d either come to a decision or she would sit there until the end of time.
“You’re cute, too,” he said, lifting the papers from his lap.
Dawne leaned back against the cushion of the chair. “That’s what I keep telling Desi.” She smiled at her father. “Read.”
“You don’t know how much this means to me you coming here, Dawne,” he said as she puttered around in the kitchen preparing something to eat.
“I wasn’t going to, at first,” she admitted. She turned away from the counter and faced him. “When Mom told us, I got so mad at her. I said some really ugly things.”
“Why?”
She shrugged and sighed heavily. “I felt that she had an obligation to stand by you, to forgive you.”
Matthew lifted his chin. “Your mom is a good one, Dawne. I don’t want you to blame her for anything. I did enough of that. She has her own life now and she’s entitled to live it.”
She sat down at the counter. “I know. And I know I’m not some preteen who falls apart over the idea that her parents aren’t together anymore. It’s just…” She lowered her head.
Matthew reached across the table and covered her hand with his. “I know. It’s not easy. Everyone hopes that their parents will stay together forever. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. We had a good marriage. I screwed that up. Not your mother. As hard as it is for me to admit, I do want her to be happy, even if it is with someone else. She deserves that.”
