She was just about to chicken out and change into her pajama pants when he entered the room and saw her, standing there in front of the mirror, pink cami and undies and nothing else.
“Oh.” His mouth gaped open and he let his eyes travel her body, head to toe. He looked like he liked what he saw, then quickly turned. “I’m sorry. I should have knocked.”
That gave her the courage she needed and she approached him. She wrapped her arms around his chest from behind and whispered in his ear.
“Come to bed.”
He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. He looked at her intensely. He frowned slightly and then just looked puzzled.
“Elena. Um...” he mumbled.
“Please, come to bed with me. I’m not really in the mood for a movie tonight.”
“Ok,” he said reluctantly. “Let me change,” he said huskily.
He grabbed some clothes from the drawers and walked briskly to the bathroom. Elena climbed under the covers. She didn’t sprawl herself out trying to be sexy. She didn’t position herself so his eyes would bulge when he saw her. She had no idea what was sexy and what was just silly.
She laid half way on his pillow and waited for him to come back. She could hear the cicadas out the window. She wished there was a radio in the room but once again, she didn’t want to put on a show of romance or sexiness. She just wanted him to know she was ready. If he wasn’t, well...they’d cross that bridge when they got there. Hopefully it would be in five minutes, Elena thought.
She saw the bathroom light spill into the room from the hallway and then disappear. Then he was standing in the doorway wearing nothing but pajama pants, looking bashful and uncertain. He cleared his throat and braced his hands in the doorframe. He just stood there and watched her.
“What?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong.” He seemed defensively. “I’m just, uh, trying to figure something out.”
“What’s that?”
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. His gaze flickered to the candles beside the bed and then back to her. She immediately bristled with chagrin. He thought she was overdoing it. He knew what she was doing and he didn’t want to. It was obvious she was trying to seduce him and he was thinking of a way to let her down easy. She had the sudden urge to burst into tears but held back.
“I lit the candles. They smell really good, I love cranberry. Thanks for buying them for me,” she tried to cover.
“You lit the candles because you wanted to smell them?” he asked and quirked a brow.
“Yeah. I’ve had them a week already. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t like them,” she tried to explain away.
“And the, um...uh..” he stammered. Elena thought that if she wasn’t so upset and rejected feeling she would think it was incredibly cute. “You’re not cold? With no pajamas on?” he finally asked.
Oh my... He doesn’t want me. That’s abundantly clear. I’m so stupid.
“Nah, I’m not cold.” She rolled over all the way to her side to face the wall and tried to sound casual. “You can blow the candles out if you can’t sleep with them lit.”
She heard him shuffle and stop. And then shuffle and stop. She assumed he was debating coming to bed or not. She wished she’d never thought to do this whole thing. It had only been a little over two months. Maybe he thought she was rushing things.
She felt him in climb in finally. He was silent for a few minutes. And then he spoke softly and sweetly.
“Elena.”
Just the way he said her name made the tears come that had been begging to already. Sweet Alex. He wants to explain himself, to make sure he hasn’t hurt my feelings. He knows what I was doing. Could I be more embarrassed?
“Yeah?” she answered back and even she could hear the tears in her voice.
“Gah, Elena.” His voice was strained with sympathy and care for her. “No, don’t do that.”
He reached out and she felt his hand on her back.
“What? I’m fine.”
“Elena, look at me.”
“Why? I’m tired, Alex.”
“Look at me.” She didn’t so he reached over and pulled her to roll towards him gently. “What’s up with you tonight?”
She huffed and bristled some more. What was he doing? Did he want to make her say it? She wasn’t embarrassed enough? She stared at him incredulously.
“Nothing I said,” she said quickly. “Please, let’s go to sleep.”
“No. I want to know.”
“You want to hear me say it?” she snapped.
“Yes.”
“What? What do you want me to say? That I was going to try to- to...” she started but couldn’t even make herself say the words.
“Elena, look.” He scooted as close to her as he could get and then spoke softly. “It’s only been a couple months-”
“Ah!” she gasped. He was about to say she was moving too fast. “Please don’t say it. Ok. I get it, I’m sorry.”
“What do you get?”
“That you’re not interested. That I’m an idiot who thought that you’d want to... I can’t believe I did this. I have no idea what I’m doing. I just thought...I mean, you’ve been kissing me and we’re married and-”
He cut her off with a kiss. A hot kiss that made her gasp, her skin flush. She felt him grab the back of her neck and pull her tightly to him. His lips were warm and damp and eager. He pulled back just enough to let him speak.
“Did you really think I didn’t want you? It’s not that at all. I’ve been trying to tone down the way I feel. I didn’t want to scare you or make you think you needed to do something you weren’t ready for. That’s why I wanted to hear you say it. I didn’t want to misunderstand. I wanted to be absolutely sure.”
“So, you do want me?” she asked and felt utterly stupid for it but it was already out, too late.
“Of course I want you, you silly girl.” He nuzzled her nose with his and chuckled. “How could I not want you? You’re my wife. I picked you and you’re perfect. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
She didn’t know what to say to that. So, she kissed him instead.
She pulled him closer. His fingers wound themselves in her hair and she pressed her lips harder to his. He grabbed her side and ribs but then quickly let go and pulled her away. Both were breathing heavy, her eyes confused.
“Wait, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do, Elena. Don’t feel like you owe me anything. I want you to be happy here, as happy as you can be in the situation, but don’t feel obligated to me. Just don’t...” he could think of nothing else to say.
* * *
He felt like he was taking advantage of her. She didn’t belong here. She didn’t deserve this life. She was just making the best of a bad situation and he didn’t want her to do this for him because she felt she owed him for saving her. He was on the verge of getting up and resuming his couch arrangement for fear of upsetting her further when she placed her hand on his cheek.
* * *
“Alex, you saved me, more than once if you remember. I do owe you, but I’m not trying to repay you right now.” She chuckled a little under her breath and bit her lip, which he heard and chuckled too as she continued. “I’m not doing anything I don’t want to. You have been nothing but sweet to me since I got here. You’ve been nicer to me than anyone my whole life. I just...I really appreciate it and I want...to try to be your wife. We’re in this together and I want to be good to you as you’ve been to me. But that’s not why I’m doing this. I want to do this because I want to, no other reason.”
“I understand all that but I don’t really know how to proceed here. I mean, I’m feeling things for you I’ve never felt before and I know that’s real but I don’t want this to just be a product of the situation. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean you have to play house with me and do things you wouldn’t have done otherwise.”
“I’m not playin
g house. I’m going on what I feel for you.”
“Elena...” he breathed out her name almost in protest, shaking his head in her hands.
“I know it’s only been a few weeks but I-” Elena tried but neither of them could finish a sentence now.
Both still breathing heavy, still looking at each other. Elena, this is crazy! You barely know him. You don’t love him, you just think you do. He does care though. He is a good man despite all this.
She moved forward and started kissing him again, he was giving in. No more protesting. After a minute he rolled on top of her not letting his weight crush her. She pulled away for just a second and closed her eyes as she spoke.
“You know I’ve never done this.” You’re embarrassed? He knows already. Plus it’s something you should be proud of. You actually waited until you were married.
“Then we have one more thing in common,” he said with a sheepish smile.
Her eyes opened, wide and shocked.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’ve lived here my whole life, Elena. Not a lot of single girls running around. And as hypocritical as it sounds, the men are kind of instructed to wait until marriage. That’s my excuse.”
“Well, I just never found anybody that I loved so...” She instantly regretted that. He looked down at her questioningly.
“Are you sure...I...I don’t want you to do-”
“I’m sure,” she said clearly. “Are you?”
After a short pause, never taking his eyes away from her he spoke again but it wasn’t to answer her question.
“I won’t hurt you, Elena...ever.”
“I know,” she said with conviction.
Then he held her face and kissed her passionately. He was so gentle with her, so loving, so attentive and slow and easy. It was like she always knew it should be. She had always imagined her first time would be her at fourteen behind the counter of the Quik Mart like her mom, but this. This was the way it was supposed to be.
Not kidnapped in a monster community that steals wives but with someone like Alex. A lonely old soul like her and they had been waiting for each other. Even if she wasn’t in this situation, she would have fallen for Alex had they met on the street.
It was slow and wonderful and surprisingly satisfying.
Afterwards they fell asleep quickly in each others arms. The yellow moon shining in the window, casting shadows on the foot of the bed.
* * *
She woke in the morning to find him braced on an elbow, watching her, tracing her lips and eyebrows with his finger. He looked a little guilty that he’d been caught and she giggled at him.
“What are you doing?” she crooned.
“Exploring.”
“Mmhmm. And what did you discover?”
“Your lips are soft, but not as soft as the little spot on the back of your neck, right here,” he said sweetly and touched it with his finger.
She shivered.
“Is that right?”
“Yeah,” he said huskily and bent down to kiss her. “I’m so glad I married you,” he whispered.
She laughed.
“I’m glad you married me too.”
They stared at each other. Elena couldn’t believe this was her life. Everything had been perfect last night. And yes, it hurt, but Alex had been as gentle and loving as she thought possible. He’d been attentive, watched her face for discomfort and other things.
And now, the morning after, Elena wondered if it would be weird but it didn’t seem to be. Not too much. Now she just watched him and waited for him to move. But he didn’t. He stayed right there, a little half smug half sweet smile playing on his lips, watching her with curiosity.
Elena moved first.
“I guess I’ll go make some breakfast. What do feel like?”
“It doesn’t matter. Anything you want.”
She thought about that for a minute. Hmmm...
“Anything?” She smiled sheepishly and bit her bottom lip, hoping he would get the hint.
He did.
He laughed and smiled widely. How could this be? How did he deserve this?
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for someone like you, Elena.” She nodded her head in agreement, smiled back and they began round two.
* * *
Afterwards, she got up and went to the closet to find clothes for the day. He stayed in bed, watching her. He hadn’t realized how petite she was before. The clothes he had gotten her before were way too big and did nothing for her figure. She was so gorgeous, the perfect fit for him. He’d noticed that last night. How she seemed to fit exactly right under his chin when they lay down. How her arms closed around his neck just right.
But looking at her now, he thought other things too. He was tempted to just grab her up right then and run away, hop the first plane out and never look back. Though his father, nor the community, would never stand for that and wouldn’t stop looking, and had cops on their side, he wasn’t sure if they could get away, but he wanted to try. He needed to. Elena deserved to be set free.
As the thought turned over in his brain, so did another, he knew she would never leave the other girls. She felt obligated to them. She felt guilty.
As Elena finished pulling her shirt over her head, she started to fix her ponytail as she walked out of the room, smiling at him before she was out of sight.
* * *
She started the coffee and pulled out the creamer to set on the counter. She figured since it was so late in the morning they would settle for toast.
She was in deep thought, thinking about the things that has transpired the night before, and this morning. She no longer felt strange around Alex. He was no longer a stranger to her. He was as much a prisoner as she was.
They had found each other though. She was certain he was the one for her. This was some kind of Harlequin romance mixed with the Lifetime channel, but in this chaos she had some peace, about her own self anyway. She would do all she could for the girls, she had to try and in the mean time, enjoy what fate had handed her. Alex.
Alex came in and poured his coffee, Elena so wrapped up in thought she didn’t even notice. He took a sip and then reached out to touch her arm. She jumped and then smiled realizing she had been dazed.
She pulled herself into his outstretched arm, her head against his chest, his arm around her waist. He didn’t ask what she was thinking about, though from the look on her face it couldn’t have been all that bad, he thought.
“So are we heading to the office today?” Elena asked not moving.
“Well, I’ve got to just grab a document and deliver it but otherwise there wasn’t much to do today. If you want, I’ll just run and do that really quick and you can stay here. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
He seemed so sure. He trusted her completely.
“Really? Are you allowed to leave me here? I mean, you don’t have anything to worry about I just...I mean will someone say something to you about it?” Elena was elated that he trusted her enough for that but also a little worried because Alex seemed to be taking a few chances lately.
What if someone stopped by while he was gone?
“No. I’ll literally be gone 10 minutes. You can lock the door behind me so no one can barge in again and don’t open the door for anybody. I don’t know why they are so worried about it anyway. If a wife did escape the house, she wouldn’t get far. I’ve seen it. The community is very isolated. There’s no where to go where they wouldn’t be seen. It’ll be fine.”
He hesitated, studying her face, then kissed her forehead and grabbed the keys from the hook by the door.
He pointed to the lock on top end of the door and motioned for her to lock it once he was gone. She pulled the bar through and felt it click home. She couldn’t believe she was alone. She had no idea what to do with herself.
She turned around the room, really taking in the décor. The beige walls weren’t bare. There were a couple of paintings but that was about it, one was a sailboat
and the other was a seaside dock with seagulls.
No family pictures anywhere. No knick knacks. No silly trinkets. Had she really not noticed how little stuff Alex had in this house? This was very ‘bachelor’ of him, she thought, though not anymore as she glanced down at her ringed finger.
The hall walls were completely bare except for one oval white mirror. She walked over to the bookshelf. A massive floor to ceiling bookshelf, filled with books of all kinds of genre’s and subjects.
That was practically all Alex had done the first two weeks she was here. Read. She scanned her fingers down the line. She was surprised by some of the titles: Great Expectations, The Vampire Lestat, The Land That Time Forgot, Wuthering Heights? What a horrible book. Heathcliff is the most ridiculous man I’ve ever heard of. And don’t get me started on Catherine.
Then of course the usual man stuff. The Thin Red Line, The Odyssey, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Alex Cross, Motorcycles For Dummies. She moved further down to the c.d.’s; no surprises there. She moved back to the books and grabbed the copy of Frank Perettis The Oath and sat down to read.
She sat in his chair, her legs hanging over the side. She knew she wouldn’t get far into it and then he would be back but she wanted to take advantage of her alone time. When she turned page five she heard the key in the lock. He looked surprised. Because I’m reading? Or because he didn’t expect to find me here when he got back?
He locked the door behind him. This would be the normal for when they walked through that door from now one, considering their unexpected intruders lately. Always fearful of someone coming in and finding something they didn’t like. He set his keys and folder on the table and walked over to her. She hadn’t moved, just watched him.
“Find anything good?” he asked and she nodded.
Stealing Grace Page 9
