Dominic stopped outside John’s Diner and Aiden wondered if he was going to keep walking. Finally, he slowed and turned. Dominic had always looked like he could beat the crap out of anyone if he were pissed off. He stalked back toward the bakery. Aiden held his ground. He wasn’t the same kid anymore, he wasn’t the same screwup, and Dominic still blamed him for things that he hadn’t been responsible for.
“Yeah?” Dominic said.
“I’m going to be back in town for a few weeks. Maybe we can get a beer sometime?”
His friend’s dark eyes narrowed slightly. “I would’ve thought you’d quit drinking.”
He stood a little straighter. He wasn’t going to get insulted. He deserved it. “I was never an alcoholic.”
Dominic nodded slightly. “You’ve seen my sister.”
His sister. The unforgettable image of Natalia trying to murder him with her dark eyes filled him. “I ran into her at my dad’s place.”
“She feels bad for him since he’s all alone.”
The censure in his friend’s voice made him bristle. “Well, not everyone is born into a giant Italian family with cousins and grandparents and siblings to help raise kids. My dad and I had issues.”
His friend shrugged, his eyes still cold and filled with judgment. “Family is family.”
Oh God. He felt the Red River noose begin to tighten around his neck. “Okay, well, I can see this is going well. I guess I’ll see you around.”
For a second it looked as though Dominic’s stony face showed a tiny hint at cracking but it didn’t. “Yeah. Stay away from my sister, and this will all be fine.”
Chapter Four
Aiden walked into his father’s garage and paused when he saw a cover over the car he and his brother had purchased for their father a year ago. He yanked it off and shoved it in an empty corner, unlocked the car, and got inside. He frowned as a growing suspicion formed. He started the engine and cursed as he looked at the odometer. His father had never driven it.
He pulled out of the garage and scowled as he parked next to his father who was waiting in the driveway. Once he was inside and the door was shut, Aiden turned out of the driveway and drove down Main Street. He didn’t even glance in the direction of Nat’s bakery, because chances were she’d be standing in the window and would give him the finger as he drove by. That almost brought a smile to his face. Except then he remembered how much she hated him. That knowledge gutted him every time he thought about it, about the look on her face when she walked into his dad’s house. He had hoped she’d moved on, found a great guy, got married, had kids…was happy. Hell no, he didn’t really want that. He was lying. He wanted her for himself, always had. And now that he saw her again, he wanted her even more. He wanted to be the one to give her all those things. But she thought he was a cheating loser, and he’d go on letting her think that. He couldn’t come back to Red River and start a life here. He couldn’t be that close to his father. He’d promised her older brother and his once best friend, Dom, that he’d stay away from her.
He also wasn’t going to let himself find out what had happened to her while he’d been gone. He still knew her on another level, completely able to read her. Some jerk had hurt her, even though she’d vehemently denied it. He needed to remember this wasn’t his business anymore. None of them were.
He was here for the disgruntled senior sitting beside him.
“Care to tell me why you never took this car out for even a drive?”
His father didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. He just gave a grunt and stared out the window. Aiden tried to control his temper, but it was pretty damn difficult.
“Seriously? Dylan and I buy you a car, and you don’t even bother to drive it? You kept on driving that P.O.S.?”
His father shifted in his seat and turned to look out the passenger window. “Don’t need my sons providing for me. Just trying to rub it in my face that I was a part-time mechanic while the two of you went on to build an empire.”
His father could have been more, if he’d been sober during regular business hours. Now wasn’t the time to get into that crap. “It’s not like that. We weren’t thinking of trying to make you feel bad. Besides, if we wanted to make you feel bad, we would’ve come up with a cheaper way. It was a gift, plain and simple.”
“Well, I only drive domestic.”
Aiden clenched his hands around the steering wheel and increased his speed once they were out of town and on the country roads. This…nothing ever would bring their father closer to them. They couldn’t figure the man out. Fine.
“So, do you like your oncologist?” He was going to try and make pleasant conversation. He was also going to silently curse his brother until he could make a phone call to him. At the very least, Dylan needed to suffer through him recounting the irritating details of the day.
His dad shrugged. “I wouldn’t go out for drinks with him, but he seems to know what he’s doing.”
“Okay, that’s good. We looked him up, and he has a great reputation. Evan also highly recommended him.” He kept his eyes on the road. “Any side effects?”
His father made a scoffing sound. “Who cares? My choices are basically radiation or death, as you pointed out the other day. So I don’t know why the hell they go on about side effects.”
“Uh, maybe so you know what to look out for? What’s normal?”
“Yeah. Go ahead and ask if you really want to know. Oh, I think they gave me some binder or something with a bunch of papers in it.”
He gritted his teeth. “Where is this binder?”
“Tossed it in the trunk of my car.”
“I guess you mean your other car?”
“Right.”
“And what if there’s something important in there? I would have liked to look through it so I could be more informed for this appointment.”
“All we have to do is show up at the times they give us. Every weekday for the next seven weeks. I already got the tattoos.”
“Tattoos?”
“Yeah, so they know where to point that damn beam. They’re not just going to be shooting laser beams everywhere like in those Star Wars movies you boys used to watch.”
Aiden told himself that pitching himself out of a moving vehicle wouldn’t solve his problems. He took a deep breath and tried to sort out the mangled details of what radiation entailed. He had a list of questions he wanted to ask the oncologist, and now he could add on a few more. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have driven you for that.”
“I don’t like pity.”
Not living in Red River meant he and Dylan didn’t have to be constantly reminded of how screwed up their relationship with their father was. Being here made it painfully clear, and he didn’t exactly have a solution. He didn’t know what to say to him. “Okay, well, when we get back, give me that binder.”
“Fine.”
They hadn’t said a word in half an hour by the time they pulled into the hospital. His father pointed out the entrance to the cancer center in the large hospital, and the tremor that ran through his body caught him unexpectedly. Yes, he knew his dad had cancer. He knew, judging by the packed parking lot, just how many people had it. He knew that his dad would be one of the lucky ones and should be just fine. What he hadn’t expected, though, was the fear that caught him. They had never been close. But he’d always known his father was there, in Red River. The idea, the reality, that one day things wouldn’t always be like that, hit him and suffocated him.
Sometimes life didn’t give you the opportunity to make amends. It didn’t give you second chances. Life didn’t wait for people to get their crap together, or to be perfect. The image of Natalia in front of him, accusing him of being an ass caused him to pause momentarily. What if something happened to him? Or her? What if she never knew the truth? What if she never knew how much he actually loved her? Or that the issue never had been her…it had all been him?
God, how badly did he want to tell her the truth? How m
uch did it kill him to know that she hadn’t gotten over him? And how much did he want to beat the crap out of the guy who had actually cheated on her? He wanted to tell her the truth, beg her to forgive him, and then proceed to kiss her until she couldn’t stand up. He wanted to feel her body against his. He wanted to know if she still made the same sounds when he touched her. He wanted to know if she tasted the same, smelled the same, and kissed the same. God, he wanted to sink himself inside her and never leave her again. He regretted every damn day without her, but she wasn’t part of his plan. He was supposed to help his dad, then get the hell out of Red River. He was supposed to go back to run his company with his brother, Dylan.
“Hurry your ass up, Aiden, or we’ll be late.” His father’s snide comment, along with the fact that the man pushed past him to go through the automatic doors, jolted him back to reality. The main waiting room was quite large, many of the seats occupied. There were three signs with arrows. One was for radiation, one was for chemotherapy, the other for Tim Hortons—at least he’d be able to get a coffee. He stood beside his father as he checked in and watched silently as the woman behind the reception desk placed a printed hospital bracelet around his wrist.
“This is day one, Mr. McCann?” She was middle-aged with a kind face and smiled at his father.
His dad nodded.
She pointed somewhere behind them in the direction of the radiation department. “So you just grab a hospital gown from that stack, go to the changing room, and then sit in Reception, section B, okay?”
Aiden made a mental note of all this. “Thanks,” he said to the woman and followed his dad to the area she’d pointed them toward. They walked the perimeter of the waiting area, their footsteps muffled on the carpet. The distinct sterile hospital smell filled his nostrils, and he was reminded again of how much he hated hospitals. He stood there, not knowing what the hell he should be doing, while his father grabbed a gown and then disappeared inside a door.
A couple seated in the same waiting area made eye contact with him and smiled. She was wearing a hospital gown, and they were talking quietly. He gave them a nod and sat down across from them. A few minutes later, the woman was called in, and Aiden watched her walk through a glass door.
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. The man looked relaxed and was reading a newspaper. Finally, his father came out wearing the gown, tan socks, and black dress shoes and sat down two seats over from him. Nice. “Don’t make a comment about the dress.”
“As if I would,” Aiden whispered, leaning in so no one would hear the idiocy.
He jumped out of his seat a second later as a horn sounded. His father snickered, and Aiden watched as a man honked a horn and a bunch of hospital staff clapped. The man in their reception area clapped, too.
“It’s his last day of radiation,” the man across from them said.
“That’s, uh, great,” Aiden managed to say. Hell, he didn’t know how to act here. All these sick people. He looked over at his dad, but he wasn’t making eye contact with him, he was just staring straight ahead at the plants on the coffee table.
“Are you, uh, okay?” Aiden asked, leaning toward him.
His father scowled at him and leaned back. “Let’s put it this way, if they screw up that beam placement, I may have other very important parts out of commission. How would you feel?”
“Mr. McCann?”
Aiden was still reeling from that comment when his father stood and walked with the woman. He, like the other lady, walked behind the glass door and disappeared.
Aiden watched him leave, his gut clenched tight, a trickle of sweat making its way down his back. He didn’t remember ever feeling this alone, this aware of his own mortality or his father’s. He sat there, leaning back in his chair, and watched as people walked by. Some wore hospital gowns, some were alone, some were with people. Some had no hair.
He covered his face, thinking about his mother, his father. Everyone here had someone supportive with them. Some were laughing. He hadn’t been able to make his father laugh. Hell, he could barely even look at him.
He shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. This was day one of thirty-five, and he’d never felt so alone or so completely clueless.
The only person he wished for was Natalia. She would have known what to say. She would have made his father laugh and smile, but Aiden had screwed that up, too.
Focus on the end game and then get the hell out of town.
…
Natalia glanced down at the lit display on her phone. Day One, Week Three.
Week two and three always tripped her up. Something would always happen to make her get off the “learning to jog” bandwagon. Sure, some of the enthusiasm was gone by week three, but it was more than that. It got hard. Serious stamina was required. The jogging intervals were longer, and it never really felt like she’d made any progress by then. Running was hard. She hated it, which was why she was doing it so early in the blasted morning, or she’d come up with a thousand excuses as to why she couldn’t fit in a run today.
Natalia rolled her shoulders and looked down the river, trying to psych herself up before she started the jogging app. She took three deep breaths and then started. Right. Walking was always the easiest. She could handle walking. It was safe and predictable.
Nothing about the last three weeks had been safe or predictable, starting with Aiden McCann walking back into her life, looking hotter than ever. Dammit. Wasn’t she the cliché? She had never believed that people could truly change—no matter how good looking they were.
She hadn’t seen him since the day everyone had snubbed him at the bakery. She also didn’t want to admit how badly she’d felt. He’d stood there, looking invincible and tough to everyone, but she’d witnessed the flash of hurt, the vulnerability in his blue eyes. Before she could do or say anything, he’d walked out.
She groaned as the stupid, happy woman on the app told her it was time to jog. Fine. Jog. Her eyes bulged when she saw the required jogging time was five minutes straight. Okay. Focus. You got this.
The tall figure in the distance, in perfect running form, was beginning to look horribly familiar. Tattered Blue Jays baseball cap, threadbare T-shirt hugging broad shoulders, shorts, tall, powerful…crap it was Aiden. Why was he here? This was her running space and time. Just look straight ahead. Look like you’re not about to die as you approach minute five. Maybe even smile…or trip over your own two feet and choke on your own saliva as you go head first into the river rock bed.
“Holy crap, I’ve never seen anyone do that before. Are you okay, Nat?”
She was going to die. Why couldn’t she have hit the rock bed with her head first? Then at least she might have been knocked unconscious and have been spared the humiliation. She was lying on her side, fetal position, holding her knees to her chest and glaring at him. “Totally fine.”
His brow was furrowed as though he was trying to figure out what the heck she’d just done. “What the hell happened?”
She sat up and tried to regain some dignity. “Nothing. It’s so cloudy and dark still, I lost my footing because I thought you were actually a giant troll coming toward me.”
He was hunched down, trying to pry her hands off her knees. His beautiful mouth twitched at her explanation. “You find giant trolls jogging in Red River?”
She swatted his hands, and he sighed roughly then firmly grasped her hands and moved them aside. He made a noise under his breath. “Come back to my dad’s car, and I’ll clean this up for you.”
“Clean what up?” She struggled into a seated position and cringed when she saw her knees. Seriously, she was like a child who’d scraped her knees on the playground.
“I’m fine. Thanks for your help.”
He stood and held out his hand. She looked at it.
“I don’t bite.”
Actually he did at one time. Delicious little bites. Nibbles. Dear God, her face was flaming. He was smiling because he knew exactly what she was thi
nking.
He motioned with his hand again. She reluctantly accepted it, but he did more than help her up. In one fluid motion he’d helped her up and tugged her into him so that her hands landed on his hard chest, and his hands were on her waist.
“Nat,” he said, his voice raspy, his hands tightening around her. She couldn’t breathe anymore, standing this close to him. His blue eyes were filled with that same tenderness that she always remembered about him. It had been one of the things she’d loved most about him. No matter how rough, how much trouble he’d gotten into, he’d always been tender to her. He had a sweetness inside that he’d only ever shown her, until he’d broken her heart by sleeping with someone else.
She pushed against his hard chest, the memory making it easy, and took a step back. He took off his baseball cap and ran a hand over his messy hair, looking down. She crossed her arms, looking away because she was mad he could look so deliciously rumpled, and she had to actually keep reminding herself why she couldn’t let him close ever again. “I’m going home. I’ll be fine. I’ll clean up my knees there.”
“We can’t even be civil?” Regret was etched in the hard lines of his face and was laced through his words. If she told him no, she couldn’t forgive him, she’d be revealing how much he meant to her, and on some level that she’d never gotten over him. But if she pretended she was fine…well, then she’d have to pretend she was fine and be…nice to him.
She turned away from his intense gaze and looked out at the river. The sun was fully up now, a slight mist still in the air. How many times had she pictured the two of them married, taking walks along the riverside path? She had never pictured them here, like this. “You broke my heart, Aiden. You publicly humiliated me. I get that part of it’s on me.”
“None of it was on you. It was all me.” His voice was harsh, angry, and she glanced over at him, compelled because of the regret.
“How could you have cheated on me?” she whispered, vocalizing the thoughts she’d had for so many years. If he’d really loved her, if he’d really cared, he would have waited for her. “I know it was high school, and maybe it seems silly to make it into something more. Maybe for you it meant nothing.”
The Rebel's Return (Red River) Page 5
