The Lost (The Maauro Chronicles Book 3)

by Edward McKeown

  “Nothing now?” Candace asks, looking at me.

  “No, but there are some unique signifiers in the material. Along the journey I may find traces on the subatomic level that correspond to the traces that the universe left on the molecules of the samples I have. It is a faint hope but better than none.”

  “I’ll send couriers to both systems with instructions that any of my operatives out there are to help you. Once you leave Eta you’ll be on your own.”

  “We are used to that,” I say.

  “Enjoy your evening,” Candace said. “I have an opera to get to.” She turned and sashayed away from us, perhaps glad to be putting distance between her and me.

  Wrik raised his glass and indicated that I should do the same. I took the delicate crystal with my original right arm with its finer motor control. “It is perhaps a waste. I should leave the wine to you.”

  “We have two bottles of the finest kind. They’re on Candace’s tab. I know that you will enjoy it in your own way and that will be enough.”

  “Thank you,” I say. I know that Wrik values time when it is just the two of us. This realization stirs something inchoate in me. I remember the possible futures that lay before us, some of which I saw when linked to the Ribisan Predictor. Some futures led to death or separation, others to success and at least one to something I could not presently comprehend, a joyful union of Wrik and me. Suddenly I am struck with fear over how fragile my friend is, how exposed to every danger. And now I propose to take him into more? I am made for war; he is made of flesh and easily shattered bone. Why am I doing this?

  I must be malfunctioning

  “Maauro are you ok?” he says, concern on his face.

  I look at him, wanting to tell him, wanting to turn back. Yet another truth stops me. Both Wrik and I are on journeys to become. He will not allow me to preserve him at the cost of that journey. There are things that he needs to prove and reprove to himself. I do not want that to be true, but it is.

  Also true, I cannot simply exist. I too must have purpose. Perhaps it is only balanced on the sword of that purpose that he and I can become what we must.

  “I am fine, Wrik. Merely glad that for tonight, at least, it will be just the two of us.”

  He smiles, “To us.” We gently clink the glasses.

  Chapter 9

  The next two days are spent in preparation for the voyage and we rarely leave the ship. Supplies of all sorts are purchased and secured aboard. Near the middle of the second day, Jaelle walks up to me on the bridge.

  “Good,” she said. “I wanted a few moments alone with you.”

  “Yes, Jaelle,” I reply cautiously, rising from my chair.

  “I want to take my leave of you. Wrik and I are heading for the hotel for a last night together. I don’t plan to come down to the ship tomorrow. You will all be busy with takeoff and it will only be awkward.”

  “Then this will be our goodbye,” I say.

  “Things are not always easy between us, Kit-sister.”

  “No,” I reply. “I wish that they were.”

  “I know that it may seem illogical, but it does not mean that I do not care for you, or that I’m mad at you. It’s important to me that you know that.”

  “I too want you to know how highly I value you. You are second only to Wrik in that. I suspect that I do not express this well—”

  “It’s all right, Maauro. Know that there is no one who I trust more with Wrik’s life.”

  “I am honored. Know that I will not return if I fail to protect Wrik.”

  To my surprise, a look of anger crosses Jaelle’s face. “You think I would want that? How would it help me to go from losing a lover to losing a lover and a friend? The universe is not so full of people dear to me that I can be so cavalier with them. You are not disposable to me. You do not exist only in relation to Wrik.”

  I walk forward and put my arms about Jaelle. She returns the embrace fiercely. I am troubled. Jaelle does not know, as I made Wrik promise to keep it secret, that the Ribisan Predictor has shown me possible futures, the most powerful of which showed a future that held only Wrik and me. Still there was no reason to believe the timeline we were in led to that future. Anything could lie in front of us.

  Whatever comes, we were allied in our attachment to Wrik and our desire to preserve his existence. Beyond that, all I can do is try never to intentionally harm Jaelle.

  “I will come back then, though it is unlikely that anything would get Wrik without having to destroy me first.”

  She rests her chin against the top of my head then strokes my hair. We stand that way for a few moments. She steps backward and kisses me on the cheek then walks out without looking back.

  I wanted to spend my last night solely with Jaelle. Dusko and Maauro were down at the ship. Jaelle said she’d made her goodbyes with both already. We went to the nicest hotel near the ship, had the best dinner then went upstairs and made love with a single-minded intensity.

  As we lay on the large, round bed trying to catch our breath, Jaelle turned to me. “It’s not forever.”

  “I know,” I said, but wondered if that was true.

  “When you return, we will start again.”

  “We will,” I said, “but Jaelle, we have to face it, we will be different people. Not only because of the time apart. You’ll be a mother when I get back.”

  “I know that my getting pregnant by another male—”

  “—Is not it. It hurts, as my journeying with Maauro hurts you. Something I’m sorry for. But it will be a different orbit for us around your children, around the things that you want to build for the future.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  “God, Jaelle, I don’t know. When I get back, we will make this work. Somehow. We’re more different than we ever realized. Even the fact that whatever male gives you kits is so disposable to you is difficult for a human to understand. But somehow we will figure it out.”

  She smiled slowly. “That is a remarkably sophisticated thinking for someone so young.”

  I tugged her tail slightly. Jaelle sometimes teased me about being younger than her. “I’m told I was born old.”

  She swatted at my hand with her tail. But her serious mood reasserted itself. “Nekoans don’t usually mate for life, or for long even. That scares you too, doesn’t it?”

  I wondered if this was the night to have this conversation, but found myself nodding. “I guess so.”

  “I am what I am, Wrik. Of a kind which has great passions, but which cool sooner than yours seem to. I cannot guarantee the future. Even your kind fails as much as it succeeds at long marriages. Can you guarantee your future feelings for me?”

  “I would say, yes, Jaelle. But that may be because, as you say, I am young even for being young. Maybe having done without love before, I believe it can overcome anything.”

  “It’s a good thing to believe. But all we can do is continue to care, continue to stay there for each other. God put us down here in two different species and we have to manage it as best we can.”

  “I promise you,” I said, “that I will come back and whatever has changed, I’ll do my best to understand and accept.”

  She rubbed the muscles of my back. “I guess I’ll have to learn that you’re a human and not a Nekoan without a tail.”

  “And I’ll have to learn that you’re female, but that your drives and desires aren’t those of a human woman with big, beautiful ears.”

  “You’ve always loved my ears.”

  “I love everything about you.

  “Do you? I fear that I have caused you as much pain as pleasure.”

  “You’re wrong about that. Most of the happiness I have found in this life has come through you.”

  “I want you to know that I don’t resent the one who brought the other part of your happiness. Not re
ally anyway. If you’re going, than she is my best hope for a protecting angel for you.”

  “I’m glad of that,” I said, genuine relief flooding my soul.

  “Did you want to sleep some?” Jaelle asked.

  “No. Time enough for that aboard ship. We have two hours until I have to go. Maauro is down there doing most of the preflight work so we have this time together. I just want to spend it holding you.”

  “I could come down to the ship.”

  “No. I want to leave you here, safe in my memory. Not by shipside in the cold and the rush.”

  She nodded. “That was what I planned, which is why I made my farewells to the others earlier. I said my goodbyes to Maauro. Dusko got a wave.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh, though there was a bitter edge in it. We lay together side by side, Jaelle’s head on my chest, pretending we didn’t see the clock. But soon it glowed 4AM. We stood and walked to the door.

  Nekoans didn’t cry and I didn’t want her to see me doing so.

  “I love you,” I said. “I’ll come back to you. What I don’t understand, I’ll learn to, or I’ll learn to live with. In the end, so long as we put our heads down on the same pillow, we won’t be doing too badly.”

  “Take no chances that you don’t have to,” Jaelle said. “Listen to Maauro. Remember that I love you and remember the way back to me.”

  Then it was time to go.

  The cab took me to the spaceport. I’m not sure how I found my way to Stardust as I was so totally lost in my thoughts. I was surprised to find myself looking at my ship. I went up to my cabin, and dropped my flight bag on my bunk, reluctant now to face the others. I stopped in the galley. We had fine actual Earth-grown coffee aboard. I drank a cup, waiting for it to dispel the drowsiness of a late night and an early morning.

  “Wrik,” Maauro’s voice sounded over the intercom.

  I gave a guilty little start at her voice. “Yes.”

  “A vehicle bearing Olivia Croyzer is approaching.”

  “Ok, I’ll get her.”

  “Thanks.”

  I drained my cup and secured it in the washer, then headed down the spiral staircase out onto the gantry. I wasn’t alone. Launch crew were making checks on the gantry, disconnecting the power and sanitary lines to the ship. We were on our own now.

  Olivia stepped out of a blue utility transport with a shoulder bag, and a rolling suitcase. She wore a long, black coat with which her bright-blond hair contrasted. A roboloader followed on her heels with an oblong case. I waited for her outside the amidships cargo hatch. She rode the gantry elevator up to my level. The lift stopped and left her two meters away from me. Her thick hair obscured her artificial right eye, but the other arctic-blue eye was fixed on me. Her face was expressionless.

  “Hello, Olivia,” I said.

  “I understand your name is Wrik Trigardt this time,” she replied.

  It wasn’t, but it was how I was known now. Only Maauro knew my original name, though I suspected Candace had traced me back to my old life. She’d never said and I was grateful for that.

  “Yes,” I relied. “You’ll have to forget Jedaya Fels. That identity was left on Tir-a-mar.”

  “Nice to know who I am working with,” she added dryly.

  “Don’t count too much on that Olivia. We all have our secrets.” I only wanted to lie to her when I had to.

  “Where’s Maauro?”

  “On the bridge, she wanted to give us a few minutes alone.”

  “What for?”

  “Renew old acquaintances, I suppose.”

  The wind stirred her coat and hair, revealing her artificial eye, blue like the other, though without the icy sparkle. I knew the eye was functional and saw into the infra-red and other ranges. She didn’t need the hair to be out of the way to see. “I’m grateful to you for recommending me to Confed Intelligence.”

  “Don’t mention it,” I replied. “We appreciated your help on Tir-a-mar. We might not have made it off that world except for your help, especially for Jaelle.”

  “I understand she’s not coming on this trip.”

  “That’s why you’re here,” I said. Determined to head off any discussion of Jaelle, I pointed to the squat roboloader and its crate.

  “Weapons,” she said. “I have my favorites.”

  “I’ll show you to the armory.” We walked into the ship, trailed by the robo. The armsroom was on this level, really just a walled off section of the main cargo hold. I noticed her looking at the three crab-robots secured to the walls. When we reached the armsroom, I opened the door. “Press your finger to the pad.”

  She did so.

  “You’re cleared for arms room access.”

  Olivia opened the crate, pulling out a variety of formidable looking weapons, including a sniper rifle. I scanned each one in and Olivia racked them. The roboloader made its way out on its own.

  “You’re in Cabin 5,” I said as we finished. “I can show you—”

  “I know Comet class ships,” she interrupted. “One hundred fifty meters tall with main impellers on each of the three fins, 5,000 metric tons, class 13A hyperdrive, accommodations for 4-12 depending on duration, one pinnace and you’ve pulled out the bomb bay and converted it to cargo holds. I’ll admit I’ve never seen one painted dark green and gold.”

  “Alright then,” I said sealing the armsroom door. “Meet us in the mess at 0600 hours. Last check-in before launch.”

  “Aye, aye, sir.”

  “No need for any of that. This is a small ship and we run it civvy.”

  She gave me a long, measured look.

  “Do you have something to say, Olivia?”

  “Okay. This mission is a big one for me. I liked you when we first met on Tir-a-mar and I thought you were a simple line officer.”

  “You never believed that.”

  She shrugged. “My point is that you lead a complicated existence: a past no one seems to know, a Nekoan girlfriend, and some sort of relationship with an AI so powerful I can’t imagine how anyone lets the thing run around loose—”

  “Let me retract one thing I said about how I run this ship,” I interrupted. “You don’t refer to Maauro as it, or as a thing. You use her name, or the gender she’s chosen for herself. You have a problem with that and you and your bag of fireworks can head back for the dock. Are we clear?”

  “Yes, sir,” she replied, again there was no trace of an expression on her face.

  “Finish what you were saying.”

  “Whatever looked like it might be starting on Tir-a-Mar, stays on Tir-a-Mar. Your orbits are too complicated for this simple solider. I’m on my way to places again. There are things I want to do. Chances I have again. This is the last time I want to discuss it. After this, you and I are two pros on a mission. You can count on me completely, but it will be because it’s my job.”

  “Sounds good to me,” I replied. “As you say, it’s a complicated orbit. I don’t want it to get any more so either.”

  “Good, we understand each other.”

  “See you at 0600, Olivia,” I forced myself to give a pleasant nod and walked out, trying hard not to show how pissed off I was, largely because I wasn’t completely sure why I was angry. But I had a ship to lift and lot to do before we lifted. I put it out of my mind.

  Two hours of frantic work later, I walked into the mess. Dusko was there already serving coffee and some pastry he’d whipped up. Maauro sat at the table nibbling the pastry with evident relish. I smiled at her, accepted the coffee from Dusko and dropped into a seat. At 0600 precisely, Olivia, in a dark-blue ship’s jumpsuit, walked in, scanned the room and sat down at the table.

  “Hello Dusko,” she said, “that coffee smells good.”

  “Here you go,” he said, sliding a cup before her. “Want to try the éclairs?”

  “Sure
.”

  Dusko fixed her up then joined us at the table. Olivia turned to study Maauro, who gazed back unperturbed.

  “Welcome aboard,” Maauro said.

  “Who am I reporting to?” Olivia asked.

  “Wrik and I share command,” Maauro answered.

  “Don’t care much for a divided chain of command,” Olivia said.

  I shrugged. “Learn flexibility.”

  Dusko laughed. “Don’t worry. You won’t be getting any orders from me. I only outrank the dishwasher.”

  “Maauro is being sweet,” I added. “She’s the brains and does the planning. I fly the ship. Dusko makes sure all aboard runs smoothly. You back us up on the running and gunning and ship work.”

  She shrugged. “Those are my specialties. I’m an aerospace pilot too. I’ve got an atmospheric rating, I’ve flown nearspace too but I don’t have a formal rating.”

  “Anybody who can fly in Cimer’s atmosphere,” Maauro said, “should have no problem with most conditions.”

  “I can stand a space watch,” Olivia said. “But I’ve never flown anything bigger than a landing barge. I wouldn’t want to handle anything this large in any but simple open-space maneuvers.”

  I nodded. “We’ll work it out on the watches.”

  We reviewed all that had passed to date. Olivia brought nothing new from Candace beyond the fact that the ISM had not as yet figured out anything about us.

  “Then I think we should get out of here before they do,” I finished. “Maauro, please do an outside check, make sure no one has attached anything to us that shouldn’t be there. I’ll finish the launch checklist. Dusko you start yours. Olivia, you’ll have nothing to do but ride up on this one.”

  She raised an eyebrow but said nothing. We scattered to our assignments.

  I walk down and exit the ship to begin my exterior expectations. To my surprise Olivia Croyzer follows me. I gaze up at her, as she is three inches taller than I.

  “I was hoping to catch you when it was just the two of us,” she said, “if I won’t distract you too much?”

  “I am a quantum computer and can manage multiple tasks without a loss of efficiency.” This is truer than she knows. I am not only scanning the exterior of the starship, but over the days I have infiltrated more systems near our ship. It gives me a greater security picture than mere visual observation can supply.