With or Without You (The Dom's of The Cage Book 4)

by P Nelson

  Esposito was out there. She could feel him on her skin. The orgasms she had shared with Dillon had gone a long way to releasing some of the tension she had carried around for weeks, but they hadn’t healed her. There was only one way Thea was going to heal: by taking her power back. She was going to do it right now.

  Placing one stiletto onto the sidewalk and using Dillon’s hand for support, she stepped out of the car. She heard the gasps of the crowd as they realised she was wearing a sheer teddy with nothing underneath it. Lights flashed as camera operators did their best to get a good shot of her naked torso, Thea gritted her teeth cognizant the scars on her back would show through because of the light. She was taking her body back. And her body had scars now.

  “Holy shit.” Dillon had realised Thea had ditched her coat in the car.

  She gave him a dazzling smile she didn’t feel. Her face felt frozen, and all her bravado from a second before started to collapse.

  “I have you. Keep smiling.” Dillon wrapped one of his arms around her and headed for the door of The Feather Flogger where two burly doormen were standing. Dillon didn’t rush her inside. He waved a few times, while keeping a firm grasp on her, and Thea thought she might faint with the need to hide away before they ever made it inside.

  Dillon exchanged a few words in greeting with the two men who opened the door and ushered them inside before taking up their places as sentinels once again. Thea didn’t care who else was in the reception area of The Feather Flogger. She walked over to a wall and placed both of her hands on it. Closing her eyes, she did her best to shut out the rest of the world.

  “And you accuse me of theatrics,” was the first thing she heard.

  “Please. One moment.” Thea needed to regroup. What she had thought was a brilliant idea had turned sour fast. Glancing over her shoulder, Thea could see the flash of lights indicating someone else had arrived, the cameramen focused on them. Thea had wanted her power back, but she only felt shaky, exposed, and frightened. Her plan had backfired spectacularly, and she didn’t know how to get through the rest of the evening.

  “This is what we’re going to do.” Dillon sounded resolute. “There is no way we can leave through the front door. It’s way too busy, and you just riled the sharks up. We have to go through the main dungeon to get to the rear of the building. You’re going to put your chin up and walk by my side through the dungeon. Speak to a few people, nod, wave, or whatever before we get the hell out of here.” Dillon’s hand on her shoulder. She wanted to push it away. “How does that sound?”

  “It sounds like you’re trying to top me.” Thea took refuge in anger. She pushed away from the wall and opened her eyes.

  “I’m offering a solution to the fucking debacle you created out there.” He flung his hand towards the darkened front windows. “I don’t need to ask what the fuck you were thinking. All your progress flushed down the shitter in one go.”

  “What fucking progress!” Thea shouted back at him, her blood up. She had never see Dillon lose his shit before, but she was right there with him. “I haven’t made any progress. I’m right back in that fucking dungeon with him every night!”

  “Talk to me then!” Dillon was at the end of his tether. “Fucking talk to me instead of going off and doing stupid shit like that.” Thea stood stock still. She had been stupid, but she had never made any apologies for being headstrong. Unfortunately, the look of worry and frustration on Dillon’s face called to her.

  “I’m sorry.” It wasn’t normally in Thea’s nature to apologise, but she took a step back from her shit for a second. Dillon had taken a hiatus from his life to nurse her these past few months. Hell, the hospital wouldn’t have released her early if not for him. Thea had a lot to be grateful for in Dillon, and at every turn, she pushed him away in one way or another. Dillon scowled at her.

  “For being an idiot.” Her words tangled in the noise from the door opening and closing. A glance over her shoulder and a certain measure of relief shivered through her. Master Martin stood with his sub Delaney at his side. Linkin’s other halves wore frowns.

  “I assume Linkin is on a rooftop somewhere with a sniper rifle in his hands,” Thea joked.

  “We have been sworn to secrecy,” Martin’s reply was gruff.

  “You know Linkin,” Delaney added. She came across the room and didn’t hesitate to put her arms around Thea. Delaney was one hell of a submissive, and Thea often wondered how she could submit to both Linkin and Martin who were bad-ass Doms in their own rights let alone together. She hugged Delaney back, bemused. Normally, it was not the done thing to touch a dominant without first asking permission.

  “We’re huggy people,” Delaney said after letting Thea go. “I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to visit. Linkin has rules about me going into hot zones as he calls them.”

  “I have definitely been in the middle of a hot zone.” Thea did her best to try to relax. Normally, she enjoyed the company of the firebrand sub. “Time to go inside,” she announced as she stared at Dillon. His expression was closed, but he nodded.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Delaney and I will go in first,” Martin stated from the counter where he was signing in. The receptionist’s eyes continued to dart between Dillon and Thea. They had a captive audience to their lover’s quarrel, and she was positive it would be all over the sub wireless in about thirty seconds after they left the reception.

  “Have no fear, Mistress Thea.” Delaney smiled up at her and went back into the formal roles played by subs and dominants while in the dungeon. “Janey is super-trustworthy. Whatever happened will not pass her lips.” The sub in question vigorously nodded her head.

  “Good to know. Thank you, Janey.” Thea acknowledged the other woman with an inclination of her head. She took a moment to pull the cloak of dominance back around her. Unfortunately, had it been a real jacket, it would have been uncomfortable and itched like hell.

  Dillon stepped up to the tall desk and picked up a pen. He nodded at Martin as the other man pushed Delaney through the ladies’ changing room door and moved towards the men’s locker room.

  “It’s absolutely safe tonight. Between Linkin and the police, I don’t think a sub could be wearing a butt plug without someone noticing it.” Martin winked at Thea and pushed the door of the men’s changing room open.

  “Great,” Thea muttered and walked to the ladies’ changing room. Dillon watched her leave the reception area out of the corner of his eye but didn’t speak. He must be pissed off at her not to speak at all.

  Not needing to use the lockers in the ladies’ room since she left her coat in the car. Thea pushed open the doors and headed straight for one of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors. She did a cursory check of her appearance. She didn’t need to focus on her body. Thea only needed to ensure her clothing was in place, like armour, to face the crowd on the dungeon floor.

  Forcing her hands to her sides, Thea made a conscious effort not to fiddle. She stared into the eyes of the woman in the mirror and wondered who she was and what she wanted. With a forceful shove, Thea buried those questions acknowledging that Calla would be yelling at her for not recognising and dealing. She had been fucking up all evening; maybe it was time to put her trust in Dillon once again and get through the rest of the event.

  Thea ignored the whispers around her and accepted the calls of greeting from friends and acquaintances welcoming her back to the dungeon with as much grace as possible before pushing the swinging door open to the dungeon of The Feather Flogger.

  A shudder rippled through her as she stood on the dungeon floor where Bondie had asked her to accompany him to his car. He seemed flustered and irrationally attentive to her and the rest of the Doms who had come to watch the surveillance feeds from the cameras. She had put it down to his being a sub. Now, she comprehended the cold, hard truth.

  Forcing her gaze onto the crowd in the dungeon, she took a momentary pause as everyone acknowledged her presence. Stares, more muted whispers. Thea thought she mi
ght go mad for a second, just scream and run through the dungeon until she could escape.

  “Deep breaths, beautiful. You have this.” Dillon stepped next to her, and she took a minute to appreciate this amazing man; he was fucking awesome. Even though she had done nothing but argue with him all night, he was here, standing beside her, facing down a dungeon of well-wishers and curiosity seekers. “No need to thank me.” He held out his arm, and even though she’d never leaned on anyone in her life, she wrapped her arm around his.

  “I can do this,” Delaney said for his ears alone.

  “So you can,” he agreed as the first kinksters came forward to greet her and wish her well on her recovery. It took a couple of minutes, but slowly Thea came back to her old self. The genuine concern and heartfelt loyalty she received from other Doms/Dommes as well as subs was a balm to her soul. This was part of the reason she hadn’t wanted to go back to The Cage even as an observer had been this. She realized she was wrong and was glad for the welcome.

  Aside from Dillon and her close circle of friends, everyone had rejected her during the past few weeks. The VPD would probably find a way to force her into early retirement, and only her mother stayed in constant contact after her release from the hospital. None of her brothers had called. There were no more invitations to join with family on Sundays for a meal. Thea hadn’t realised how much this hurt her until now. The Cage is where they accepted her and, in some cases, admired her practice of safe, sane, and consensual sex in the BDSM world.

  Thea’s confidence came back to life from a tiny spark to if not an inferno then a fire big enough to roast a marshmallow or two. She was right to come. Not right to make a spectacle of herself outside, but she needed to come. Dillon stood by her side, mostly silent, other than speaking animatedly with one person or another. It was a forceful reminder he was also a respected member of the community.

  Several scenes were happening on the public stages set up around the dungeon floor, but Thea noticed most of them were ending. A screech from a microphone being tested ripped through the air, and Thea along with the rest of the crowd turned to the only lit stage on the dungeon floor.

  Master Lovett stood facing the crowd, his serious and sad expression echoing the feelings of the crowd. Thea glanced around at the dungeon where she had first learned about kink. Understood that it was OK to want to feel the kiss of leather against her skin or bestow the same kiss on another’s.

  “Thank you all for coming tonight.” He started and had to swallow several times before he continued. “It has been an honour to serve the community I believe in for so many amazing years.” Pausing for a second to blink hard, Thea raised a hand and placed it over her chest where the ache was growing. Dillon wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she stiffened before relaxing into the comfort he offered. “Some of you believe I’m ancient and when I look around at the faces in the crowd, I damn well feel old enough to have been on the ark with Noah.”

  “And you would have made a fine St Andrew’s Cross while you were there!” someone shouted out from the crowd. Thea laughed along with the rest of them at the joke, giving Master Lovett a chance to wipe his watery eyes.

  “I opened The Feather Flogger all those years ago to provide a safe place for my fellow kinksters to come and learn about themselves and their needs. It was meant to be a dungeon where safe, sane, and consensual was always practiced, insulated from the judgements and recriminations of the vanilla world.” There were a few here, here’s from the crowd. “As many times as I’ve been under threat to close The Feather Flogger, I have risen.” Master Lovett turned his gaze to the ceiling for a minute, the audience could hear his sniffing over the microphone. “This time, however, it was not meant to be. But I encourage every one of you not to let the forces of bigotry shame you back into hiding. Now, more than ever, it’s our duty to stand up for what’s right and what’s good. If you accept every one of the men and women standing around you tonight, then, my friends, we’ve won.”

  Master Lovett lowered the microphone, and all around Thea, a resounding cheer rose. People pumped fists into the air and hugged one another, the tears in their eyes an expression of the great loss the lifestyle was about to suffer because of one man’s hatred. Thea turned to Dillon and found him staring at her. With her stilettos on, she was a couple of inches taller than he, and for some reason, it made her smile to see him from this perspective.

  “What do you think? Should we let love and acceptance rule for at least one night?” Thea said without overthinking the words coming out of her mouth.

  “How do you think we should let this love and acceptance into our lives?” Dillon’s eyes sparkled with mischief. It was the look he normally wore. The one he had in months gone past when he’d mock and provoke her relentlessly at The Cage. She hadn’t been there in so long, she had forgotten its potent effect on her. He’d been so worried about her, and all she had done was provoke him.

  “Kiss me, handsome.” Thea laughed at his surprised expression.

  “Your wish is my command, beautiful.” Dillon grinned cockily at her before raising his lips to hers. The angle of the kiss made it possible for Thea to retain some control. Not that she needed a reminder of who was kissing her. Thea remembered all too clearly the feel of Dillon’s lips on her own, her mouth parting to allow him better access. Their tongues tangling, each one sparring and seeking to dominate the other. A thrill of lust and excitement scorched through her. She had missed this during the past few months because she hadn’t wanted to face Esposito head on. She wanted to stay safely behind the computer and hunt him, mock him in front of the cameras tonight, but never giving in to the need to just hit his memory straight on.

  Thea was surprised to hear the moan come from the back of her throat. She wanted much more from Dillon, and the way he was challenging her made her believe he was willing to give it to her. Dillon broke the kiss even though his expression made her want to believe he could have carried on for the rest of the evening. The buoyancy from the kiss and how the night had progressed since her earlier failure evaporated in an instant.

  “Big Daddy BB.” Dillon replaced his hand around her shoulders. It was a move of protection and support. “Good to see you this evening, even under the circumstances.”

  “I can’t believe you have the balls to show up tonight.” Big Daddy BB’s tone was angry and hysterical making his slight British accent more pronounced. Dillon opened his mouth to comment, but Thea didn’t need him to speak for her. His arms gave her enough support.

  “Why is that?” She left off the required Master or his preference Big Daddy.

  “You did nothing while my boy was being tortured. By all accounts you let him die. Why would you do that? He was innocent, and now the media is making him out to be some psychotic freak.” Big Daddy BB looked as if he were on the edge of a nervous breakdown. The people around them stepped back to watch the confrontation.

  “Bondie wasn’t your sub, anymore.” Thea pointed out cruelly. “You dumped him when his behaviour became too hard for you to manage instead of trying to work out his shit with him. You didn’t have to scene with him anymore, but anyone who had contact with Bondie after you ended the contract could tell he was in serious trouble, and you did nothing. That’s on you.” Thea became more aggressive as she spoke. Anger and pain at witnessing the end of Bondie coalescing into a pool of fragmented memories and emotions.

  “That isn’t true.” Big Daddy BB’s lips had gone white, his nostrils flaring. Thea held her ground. She was a tough-as-nails Domme who didn’t take shit from anyone, and she certainly wasn’t going to take any from Big Daddy BB just because he had a guilt complex about what Bondie had become.

  “Let’s be honest with one another. Bondie became a monster. He lured those girls to their deaths. He was just as culpable for their murders as the Reverend.” Thea’s tone left no room for argument. Master Lovett came to stand between them.

  “Old friend, can I buy you a beer?” he asked Big Daddy BB. A
full minute passed before Big Daddy BB twisted his head around.

  “No. I’m not going to celebrate when everyone thinks Bondie was a monster.” Big Daddy BB shoved his way around Master Lovett and stalked towards the men’s changing room doors. A couple of people tried to halt his progress, but he brushed them aside.

  “Sorry about that.” Master Lovett along with Thea and Dillon continued to watch as Big Daddy BB disappeared inside. “I’ve tried speaking to him, but he believes he could have done more. But the reality is Bondie was a part of the lifestyle for all the wrong reasons.” He turned his attention to Thea. “Good to see you back here.”

  “I’m sorry it’s only going to be for one night.” Thea pressed her lips together, holding in the emotion threatening to burst out of her.

  “No one is more sorry than I.” He wore a watery smile as he surveyed his dungeon. “These four walls have witnessed some shit go down.”

  “They have indeed,” Dillon agreed with Master Lovett. “You planning on taking up the position at The Cage Flynn offered you?” Thea’s ears picked up at Dillon’s question. She hadn’t been to The Cage since before her abduction, and she was seriously out of the loop. Not that she was surprised Flynn had offered Master Lovett a job. He was one hell of a man.

  “I’m still thinking about it.” Master Lovett let his head wobble around on his shoulders for a minute in feigned nonchalance. Thea could tell she wouldn’t be seeing Master Lovett at The Cage in an employee role, however. “It’s been a long time since I had any real vacation time. I’m thinking about driving down the coast of Oregon down to Cali. See some of this big beautiful planet we call home. I’m thankful to Flynn, though, for finding work for all of my employees.” Master Lovett did his best to keep his emotions under control. “I would have worried about them out there on their own.” His words cracked at the end. Tears fell down his cheeks, and the little sub from the receptionist desk came over immediately and put her arms around Master Lovett. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight.