"Your father is more interested in power and money. Money wasn't as important to Sydney. Just your aunt, you, and Summerwood."
She raised up and looked into his eyes. "Sometimes you completely amaze me. Rakes aren't suppose to understand people. That's why they flit from woman to woman." She reached up and caressed his cheek with her hand. "Yet, you're different. You do perceive people."
"Sometimes human beings change. Sometimes they have a reason for the way they act."
"Be honest with me, Connor. What was your reason?" she asked, serious.
He released her and stepped away. She watched the pained expression cross his face and could see he was struggling. When he spoke, she was totally surprised.
He took a deep breath."When I was twentytwo, I met a girl visiting the Rutherfords. Georgiana took my breath away. My father had been dead for several years, and I wanted to settle down, get married, and find someone to help me raise Suzanne."
Connor took a deep breath. "Georgiana and I fell hard and fast for one another, or at least I thought we did. Within four months' time, the gossips were betting on when we would announce our engagement. Then one day, we had a discussion about money."
Alexandra walked over to stand beside him. "What happened?"
He walked around the bed to the window, and gazed out at the stars in the sky. "I know you come from a very wealthy family, Alexandra. You've lived a life that I could never give you. And God knows my family has not recovered financially since the Great War."
He ran his fingers through his hair and turned to face her. "When Georgiana found out I could not keep her in the finest dresses, take her to Europe once a year, and refurbish the entire house, she broke off our courtship."
Alexandra watched the flicker of pain that crossed his face.
"Until then, I never knew how much money mattered to some women."
"It's not just women," Alexandra replied. "I think it's more the person than the gender."
Connor smiled. "I should have known you would say that."
"So how did this turn you into the nefarious womanizer of Charleston County?"
"She was determined to marry that year. So she started seeing my best friend, Stuart, whose family was quite wealthy." He picked up a small figurine of an angel and ran his finger lightly over the wings. "It wasn't long before they announced their engagement, and Stuart asked me to be his best man in their wedding."
Setting the angel down, he turned to face Alexandra. "The night before the wedding, I held a bachelor party for Stuart. We drank too much and kept him out quite late. All of the wedding party was staying at the Seaview Hotel. I half carried Stuart to his room, and then fumbled my way to my own room."
He stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet nervously. "When I got to my room, Georgiana was waiting in my bed, in the sheerest negligee of pure white lace."
His eyes turned a fierce blue and he clenched his fists. "I was drunk. The woman I loved was marrying my best friend. And then magically she appeared in my bed."
"What did you do, Connor?" Alexandra whispered, feeling his grief, knowing his actions were probably less than honorable, hurting for him just the same.
"I did what any drunken fool would have done. I bedded her." His voice was blunt as he ran his hands through his hair. "I bedded my best friend's bridetobe the night before their wedding."
The room grew silent, yet Alexandra could feel his pain and anguish from five feet away.
"The next morning, I awoke to the sound of pounding on my door, a splitting headache, and an empty bed. At first, I thought I had dreamed of her in my bed. But when I opened the door, Stuart issued me a challenge. 'Choose your seconds,' he said. She had been seen leaving my room at dawn, and had confessed to her mother that I had dragged her into my room and forced myself upon her."
Alexandra moved to stand next to Connor. The look of anguish and pain on his face made her ache to reach out and hold him. To comfort him, as he had comforted her this afternoon. But she knew that was not what he wanted.
She compromised by laying her hand on his arm, only to find his muscles taut with anger.
"What happened?"
''The morning of the wedding, we met out on Magnolia Road. Even though I knew I could kill Stuart, we were closer than most brothers and I had betrayed him. I was sick with the knowledge of what I'd done. I discharged my pistol up in the air, praying Stuart would end my life. Put me out of my living hell. But all I received was a bullet in my shoulder."
Alexandra ran her hand along his collarbone. "That's why you have this scar."
He absently rubbed the limb. "That's the scar you can see."
Alexandra's heart went out to him. No wonder he treated women as if they were discard able. Georgiana had proven that to care was to hurt. "After the duel, what did you do?"
"After that, I used women for nothing but sex. I vowed no woman would ever get close to me again, seduce me and betray me."
"And that's how you earned the reputation of being Charleston County's most notorious rake."
He shrugged. His gaze skidded over hers, his chin lifted defiantly.
"What happened to Stuart and Georgiana?"
''They were married and moved to Atlanta. Last I heard they hate each other, but remain together."
How did you respond when a man bared his soul to you? If she showed him pity, he would rebuff her, so instead she tried for nonchalant. She shrugged. "So you got hurt and decided that all women were just like Georgiana and you were going to get even with her."
"I suppose." He paused, looking her over, his eyes warm, hesitant, almost bewildered. "You're the first woman who has gotten past my guard since Georgiana. You're the first woman I've spent more than a few weeks with."
"I'm flattered. But then, we're married."
He reached out and brushed the back of his hand against her cheek and smiled. "Yes, we're married. But I hadn't planned on being faithful to my wife. I hadn't planned on being a true husband."
She took his hand and held it against her cheek. "I never planned on being a wife again. Men were vile creatures who lied and betrayed."
Embarrassed, she dropped his hand. The touch of his skin on hers had left her warm and flushed. Her heart was beating rapidly, and she longed to reach out and pull him against her. Comfort him, as he had comforted her this afternoon.
Everything suddenly seemed clearer. Connor's reactions, his motivations, his reasons for being so aloof when it came to women. He had suffered hurt and betrayal, just like Alexandra, but had taken his pain out on other females, while she wanted to get her revenge on the man who had caused her despair.
"Death has a way of making you realize you're not going to be here forever. That life is short." Connor took a step closer.
"So short," Alexandra said as she stared at a lock of hair that graced his forehead, a spiraling curl of desire awakening inside her. "Most people only get one chance to make the best of their lives. We've been given two."
She felt strange, lost in a swirling vortex of sensation as she realized she wanted Connor. She wanted him in her arms tonight. She wanted him to show her that she was alive. That she had survived the storms of life.
Her breathing quickened as she ran her hand down his arm and picked up his hand. She laid his hand on her breast, her head rolling to her shoulder.
He gasped.
For a moment, his hand went stiff. Then with gentle strokes he kneaded her breast. "Alex..." he moaned. "Don't tease me."
She reached up and grasped his head, pulling his mouth to hers in an effort to shut him up, a quiet, effective method as her tongue teased his mouth. This was what she had been waiting for, longing for. This was what she needed. An affirmation that she was alive, that she was not alone. That she was a survivor, just like Connor.
He reached up and pulled her solidly against him, crushing her against his chest. The kiss changed from mild seduction to wild abandonment as his tongue plundered her mouth, refusing to give quarter.
Alexandra met his bold challenge with an equal fervor of her own, her hands holding his head in place as their mouths melded together.
Her blood quickened as his hands moved down her body to cup her buttocks, pulling her hard against him. Through her sheer nightgown and cover, she could feel his manhood rigid against her lower belly. Desire coursed through her veins at the feel of him snug against her.
She wanted him deep inside her. She needed the comfort only Connor was capable of giving.
Putting her hands between them, she pushed away from him and smiled at the bewilderment on his face. Slowly, she untied the string at the top of her robe and peeled the garment away from her body. She watched him swallow tensely as she stood before him in a transparent gown of peach. His eyes traveled over her, taking in the translucent gown. She felt her nipples harden under his scrutiny.
Reaching up, she pushed aside the shoulders of her gown, then let it slide down her body, leaving her nude surrounded by a pool of silk.
"Dear God," he gasped.
In two quick strides, he reached her side and lifted her up in his arms. He carried her to the bed and laid her down. In less than a minute, he had stripped off his clothes and was upon the bed beside her.
His lips found hers again, teasing and coaxing her, until she was left gasping for breath. Her hands coursed the length of his naked back, feeling his hard muscles flex beneath her fingers, gooseflesh emerging with her touch.
He moved down her body, leaving a trail of kisses along her neck and jawbone. He gave a gentle nip with his teeth at the base of her throat, but continued until he reached her breasts. His lips found her nipple, and he suckled, sending delightful shivers through her. Her hands wound themselves in the midnight locks of his hair, her fists curling tightly as a pit of warmth began in the bottom of her belly, making her ache with need. His lips trailed a path of kisses down her stomach, to her thighs, where he nuzzled the inside of her legs, sending delicious shivers up her spine.
In the apex of her thighs, he placed his mouth against her, and she jumped from the unexpected pleasure.
"Connor," she cried, trying to close her legs.
But he gently pried her legs apart. "Open for me. Let me taste your desire."
Shyly, she did as he requested. He put his mouth against her once again. And this time, she lay back and tried to keep from crying out at the intense pleasure he was giving her. Her fingers curled in the bed covering as she tried to control the building sensations that ricocheted through her body.
Spirals of need built with each flick of his tongue. As he lavished attention upon her womanly entrance, she cleared her mind of all thoughts but the sweet intensity he was coaxing from her body. Only with Connor had she experienced this kind of earthshattering enjoyment. Spasms of molten fire sent her shooting over the edge, falling into a precipice of pure desire. Her body tensed and she cried out, shuddering her release.
When she opened her eyes, Connor was smiling at her. "You're so beautiful. So wild and free."
He crawled up beside her. The back of his hand reached out and stroked her jaw and chin. "I adore the way you abandon yourself to me."
Alexandra blushed. "Only with you."
Connor stroked the hair away from her face. "My wife."
She turned his face to hers and kissed him, tasting herself on his lips. Though she had just experienced satisfaction in Connor's arms, she was surprised when her body once again reacted to the touch of his mouth, the feel of his hand against her opening. This time she wanted him to feel the same gratification he had just given her.
Feeling bold, she reached down and touched his manhood, felt the taut muscle, and heard him gasp. Gentl, she pushed him back against the sheet, her hand caressing his tip. He was so hard and she wanted him deep within her.
His fingers were working magic on her as he touched the center of her being, making her gasp from the desire that seemed to spread through her body at the touch of his hands. Would she never tire of the way he made her feel?
She moved her body over his, until she was on top of him. Her lips left his, her breathing rapid and quick. She gazed into his eyes as she put the tip of his shaft against her wet core. He grasped her shoulders and plunged deep within her.
In a halfsitting position, Alexandra moved her hips over him, squeezing him as she rode his body. Connor laid his head back and closed his eyes as Alexandra moved up and down his shaft. Just when she thought she could bear no more, he grabbed her by the hips and rolled her onto her back.
Holding her hips, he plunged into her. The urgency of his entry surprised her and excited her at once. She met his every movement with equal response.
Connor thought he would die from the elation Alexandra bestowed upon his body. Her womanhood tightly surrounded him, but her wild response was so enticing, so exciting, and he could not remember a time when he had enjoyed so much pleasure.
He thrust into her deeply and she met him, giving as good as she received. She was so beautiful, and her soft cries of satisfaction filled him with such delight. Her breasts rose and fell as she gasped, their rosy hue enticing him. He wanted to reach down and suckle her nipple, but with the feel of her tight body wrapped around him, it took all his attention to keep from exploding. He held back, waiting for the moment when he knew she would be with him. Together they would cross the threshold.
She opened her eyes and gazed at him, her eyes soft, her mouth open, as she cried out his name.
With one last thrust he joined her in an orgasm like none he had ever experienced. With wild abandon he clung to Alexandra, trying to be gentle, but needing to bury himself as far as he could inside her. Finally, he collapsed atop her and rolled to the side, pulling her into his arms.
She snuggled against his body, fitting perfectly into the curve of his arm. He kissed the top of her head as his body slowly began to relax. She had filled a void in his life he never knew existed. She filled a need in him that countless other women had tried to fill, but never succeeded in doing. And now, he could not imagine life without her. Did not want to think of being alone ever again.
Over the previous months, she had slowly wound herself around his heart. He had never meant for her to get this close; he had never intended to want her so badly. Yet this afternoon's events had brought home the fact that life was fleeting. He wanted to spend all of his days and nights with Alexandra.
He glanced down at her, her eyes closed, a smile on her lovely face. God, but she evoked feelings in him he never remembered experiencing before. He wanted to protect her, shield her from all the cruelties of life. To protect her from the gathering storm Hester's Revenge would bring to their lives. He wanted them to have babies. He wanted them to grow old together. He wanted their lives to be happy and fulfilled. He wanted Alexandra.
She was more than he'd ever expected to find in a woman. Alexandra was giving and kind, with a witty sense of humor, and a keenness of mind that refused to buckle to him.
Somehow, he had to keep the truth regarding the reasons for their marriage from her. For if it were revealed, she would most assuredly force him to let her go.
***
The next morning Alexandra awoke to an empty bed. She stretched and yawned, feeling quite content. The indention of Connor's body was still upon his side of the bed, and Alexandra turned over, rubbing against the cotton sheets where he'd lain. She breathed deeply, inhaling his scent, letting the smell slide over her body in a sensuous way.
The scent brought memories of the night before to mind. The memory of Connor thrusting inside her body brought a smile of pleasure to her lips. She was acting like a schoolgirl, crazy, head over heels in love with her first beau. But this was her husband.
And it was right for a woman to love her husband. To give herself, as she had last night, to the man she was married to.
Did she love Connor? The thought had troubled her the last few weeks. After last night, she could no longer deny it. She wanted their marriage to last. She wanted to put the past be
hind them. To forget about Gordon and Georgiana, the forced marriage and the bet. To start fresh, just the two of them.
She loved Connor.
Her heart beat double time in fear and anticipation. They had the rest of their lives to look forward to. For the first time in years, the future didn't stretch before her like a long, dark void. It would be filled with love and laughter, hopefully babies, and her husband.
But how could she write such venom in another book when she felt as she did right now? Life with Gordon now seemed as if it had happened to someone else. She now perceived that part of her life like a spectator.
Yet her editor was expecting another book on her life with Gordon. And this time, her publisher wanted her to include Gordon's sexual perversions. She shuddered as she remembered the ugliness of that part of her past.
Alexandra threw back the covers and jumped from the bed. She loved her husband, and somehow, they would find a way to work out the problems of their marriage. After last night, surely he felt the same way she did.
Chapter Seventeen
"Giddyap," Connor called out to the horses as they pulled away from the graveyard where the service for Sydney LaRoux had just concluded. Alexandra sat beside Connor, her redrimmed eyes dry, her face pale with grief.
The last two days had been filled with visitors and friends coming to pay their last respects. Connor and Alexandra had remained at Summerwood, and would be there at least through tonight.
James Halsted III Alexandra's father, had arrived from New York late yesterday, and so far, father and daughter were at least being amiable toward each other. Connor couldn't help being concerned about staying under the same roof with Alexandra's father. The sooner they returned to River Bend the easier he'd rest.
If Alexandra knew the truth regarding their marriage, there was no telling what she would do. The anger she had felt over the bet would be nothing compared to the knowledge that her father had bought her a husband. The closeness they'd shared these last few days would vanish in a heartbeat.
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