Collecte Works
Page 23
line 3: are bound for England?
lines 5-8: The direct speech is enclosed in quotation marks.
line 66: “Dennie” is replaced by “Danny”.
lines 175-76 (“Put that…forte”) are omitted and replaced by the following excerpt from an early and subsequently rejected (see p. 136) “FOR PAUL” poem:
The elegant office girl
is power-rigged.
She carries her nylon hard-pointed
breast uplift
like parachutes
half-pulled.
The third long MS version of the poem is in FPOP with the following variants:
line 3: are to be bound for England?
lines 5-8: The direct speech is enclosed in quotation marks.
line 66: “Dennie” is replaced by “Reggy,”
line 126: “The elegant office girl” lines above are inserted between “on things he won't want” and “All children begin…”.
The “FOR PAUL: CHILD VIOLINIST” selection in Quarterly Review of Literature 8.2 (1955): 117-19, included what LN described in an Aug. 30, 1955, letter to Dahlberg as a “section” of the long poem “Dear Paul”: lines 1-16 (“dear Paul:…in frequently ride.”) and lines 127-32 (“All children begin…John Sebastian Brook”). Here is her Nov. 16, 1955, statement to Dahlberg: “The reason I took a section out (for Quart. Rev. of Lit.) of the long FOR PAUL poem I sent you was that it wasn't going with editors as it was and the mood of those few lines seemed to fit in with the others for Weiss [ed. of QRL]. But I have always felt that that long poem, section V of the series which I called FOR PAUL, is a whole, a rangy, perhaps too long poem but nevertheless a poem.”
The poem “Autumn” in Poor.Old.Tired.Horse. 9 (undated, possibly 1965): 1, is drawn from lines 188-91 of “Dear Paul” (see p.217).
T&G and MLBW duplicate the QRL version to which they add lines 10-14 from “Your father to me in your eighth summer” (see p. 146) followed and concluded by lines 186-91 (“Comes a measure marked autumn”…“morning ice on the minnow bucket”).
The T&G and MLBW versions make two revisions: line 16 reads, “Sometimes ride.” and line 28 (of the present text) reads, “Yes, comes a measure marked Autumn”. MLBW differs from T&G in the addition of line 18: if there were no marsh or stream.
EA uses only lines 1-16, printing them in quatrains with an amended line 9: You ask what kind of boats
My father said “I remember T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
In poem I of “FOR PAUL: GROUP SEVEN” MS (undated, probably 1952/3) there is a second stanza:
Play those little records again
no sweeter music
than the violin.
The Aug. 30, 1955, MS sent to Dahlberg adds an additional line to the start of the second stanza, “Now I enjoy the stove” and revises “records” to “discs”.
FPOP revises line 11 to “Now I need a stove”.
Revised to the present text for “THREE POEMS,” Granta 71.12456 (1964/5): 19.
Origin ser. 3, 2 (July 1966): 9.
No quotation marks used until MLBW.
You know, he said, they used to make T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
In poem II of “FOR PAUL: GROUP SEVEN” MS (undated, probably 1952/3) and in FPOP, lines 1-2 read:
The old man said you know they used
to make mincemeat with meat,
He built four houses MFT, T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA, VV].
Poem III of “FOR PAUL: GROUP SEVEN” (undated, probably 1952/3).
In a numbered group of “FOUR POEMS,” Black Mountain Review 6 (Spring 1956): 192.
In Europe they grow a new bean while here T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
An undated early MS:
In Russia they grow a new bean (being) while here
we tie bundles of grass
with a strand of itself as they used to American grain
—against the cold blast
around my house—my neighbor: Do yet in Russia I guess
From his sister in Maine: We've found a nice warm place
(in the hay?)
for the winter. Charlie sleeps late, I'm glad for his sake,
it shortens the day.
Around my house in America yet.
variant final line: Around my house old bean in America yet.
A second MS, dated Dec. 1, 1951, shows the following line revisions:
line 1: In Russia they grow a new bean while here
line 3: With strands of itself as they used to American grain,
line 10: Around my house the old bean in America yet.
Poem IV in “FOR PAUL: GROUP SEVEN” (undated, probably 1952/3) revises:
line 3: with strands of itself—as my grandfolks used to grain
line 5: From my cousin in Maine: We've found a nice warm place
The rest of the poem is revised to the present text.
A change from “Russia” to “Europe” is marked on the above MS in LZ's hand. However, in “Changes in FOR PAUL” (Jan. 29, 1955), LN notes: “I kept: In Russia they grow a new bean but changed Russia to Europe!” The change is hers and it occurs two or three years after the above MS. My speculation is that LZ would have retrieved his copy of the undated (probably 1952/3) MS in order to examine her revision and, at the same time, would have inscribed her change.
Revised version published in a numbered group of “FOUR POEMS,” Black Mountain Review 6 (Spring 1956): 191-92.
Paul/when the leaves MFT, T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA, VV].
Poem I of “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” MS, dated Dec. 31, 1953.
“FOR PAUL: CHILD VIOLINIST,” Quarterly Review of Literature 8.2 (Spring 1955): 118.
On the Aug. 30, 1955, MS sent to Dahlberg, the poem includes a dedication: “For the ten year old violinist.”
Untitled in “EIGHT POEMS,” Monks Pond 1 (Spring 1968): 6.
VV dedicates the poem “To the Child.”
I've been away from poetry T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA, VV].
On Aug. 30, 1955, MS sent to Dahlberg:
variant line 3: and now the leaves need raking
variant lines 5-6: between your house and mine/ I must scratch green.
FPOP variant line 6: Scratch green.
Revised to the present text in Elizabeth 9 (March 1966): 30, where it is titled “Autumn.”
Also in Of Poem, An Anthology, ed. James Weil (New Rochelle, N.Y.: The Elizabeth Press, 1966): 59.
I am sick with the Time's buying sickness. T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
MS dated March 10, 1954, provides two early versions:
(i)
Yes, my Time's waste.
My future ready to be filled, waits.
If this costly cold can
flanged to my house for flowing oil
to a stove not costing as much
were a piano
I'd sing, dear friend,
that thirtieth: “When to the sessions
of sweet silent thought”
“sorrows end.”
(ii)
If I were buying a little piano
instead of an oil drum
—more dollars for this cold can
than bought my stove—
I'd sing, dear friend,
that thirtieth tune “When to the sessions
of sweet silent thought”
“sorrows end.”
Revised for FPOP with one variant from the present text, line 3: serves a stove not costing as much.
Revised to the present text for Origin ser. 3, 2 (July 1966): 9.
The death of my poor father Unpublished [FPOP].
On the Aug. 30, 1955, MS sent to Dahlberg, variant lines 14-15: to probe the trees/ at the river
Revised to the present text for FPOP.
To Aeneas who closed his piano T&G, MLBW [FPOP, EA].
MS dated Oct. 3, 1953, carries two drafts:
(i)
To Aeneas who closed his piano
to dig a well thru hard clay
Chopin left notes like drops of water.
Aenea
s could play the Majorcan sickness,
the pig-boat whips, Aurore, all the countries'
narrow sand-strips. “O Frederic” he sighed
“think of me digging below the surface—
we are of one pitch and flow.”
LN's annotation: “Was amazed and delighted to find it fell into stanzas with end rhymes (as over). Do you like this block or the other (over)? Aeneas is a Greek Catholic name. The McA's say Anis but if they're spelling it Aeneas as they do, I suppose it ought to be pronounced Eenás? If I keep this for FOR PAUL I might use Enos instead? Aurore is George Sand's 1st name.”
(ii)
To Aeneas who closed his piano
to dig a well thru hard clay
Chopin left notes like drops of water.
Aeneas could play
the Majorcan sickness,
the pig-boat whips,
Aurore, all the countries'
narrow sand-strips.
“O Frederic, think of me digging below
the surface—we are of one pitch and flow.”
Alternative last stanza:
“O Frederic—can you forgive
this well deep piano?
—we are of one pitch
and flow.”
LN's annotation: “sandstrips—they dig here till they come to a sand-strip.”
A single stanza attached to the above MS alludes to LN's friendship with her neighbor Aeneas McAllister and to a proposal of marriage (there is no indication that the stanza was to be included with the Aeneas poem):
I don't know what wave he's on
if he'll be slowed.
Once was one extended his hand.
I've lived on a bigger river—
I present a load.
“To Aeneas who closed his piano” is poem II of “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” MS, dated Dec. 31, 1953, revised to the present text. LN's annotation: “Chopin got sick in Majorca and had that terrible journey home. I've tried everything: the rough sea journey etc. but always come back to original.”
Origin ser. 2, 2 (July 1961): 30.
My friend the black and white collie Unpublished [FPOP].
An alternative poem V of “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” MS (undated) inserts two lines between the present lines 3 and 4:
A silent long tail-waving moment
then I embraced her.
Another undated MS reduces the above line 4 to “A tail-waving”.
Revised to the present text for FPOP.
LN to LZ, Feb. 2, 1953: “I guess you said or Celia: better to have a dog at my door than the wolf! Lovely huge collie, beautiful face” (NCZ 212).
“Oh ivy green Unpublished in book form [FPOP].
Three drafts for “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” precede the present text. The first is undated:
“Oh ivy green
oh ivy green—”
you spoke your poem
as we walked a city terrace
and said if you could hear
—sneeze
sneeze on the corner—
Handel clean
Christmas would be cherished
Christmas would be cherished
To the mother
color
does not matter
with her son's cold
no better
unless
a friend should tender
rest and hold
her warm till winter's old
warm till winter's old
The second, poem VIII of “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” MS (undated), revises the above draft: “cherished” of lines 9 and 10 changes to “green” and “till winter's old” of lines 19 and 20 changes to “in green cover.” On this MS, LZ suggests changes: he restores the “cherished” of line 10 though not of line 9, changes “color” of line 12 to “ivy,” deletes “tender” from line 17 and “rest and” from line 18, and changes lines 19 and 20 to “in a green cover.”
An alternate poem V of “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” MS, dated Dec. 31, 1953, adopts LZ's changes and revises further by compressing lines 6 and 7 into the following line:—and I heard you sneeze—
Revised to the present text for “FOR PAUL: CHILD VIOLINIST,” Quarterly Review of Literature 8.2 (1955): 118-19, and FPOP.
LN's poem refers to Paul Zukofsky's poem “O ivy green” based on Henry VIII's “As the holly groweth green.” LZ quotes Paul's complete poem in “A”-20. See “A” (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1978): 436.
As I shook the dust Unpublished in book form [FPOP].
In a numbered group of “FOUR POEMS,” Black Mountain Review 6 (Spring 1956): 192-93.
They live a cool distance Unpublished in book form [FPOP].
“FOR PAUL: CHILD VIOLINIST,” Quarterly Review of Literature 8.2 (1955): 119. LN to LZ, Sept. 29, 1955: “Very difficult problem to state—I feel I haven't yet got it all, left out maybe their love of this thing. The stoic enters in but is only one aspect. I hope the poem doesn't get over just the one idea that it's a principle. It's a compulsion to express thru difficulties, a love of the thing. At any rate, don't set it up between us” (NCZ 224).
Violin Debut Unpublished [FPOP].
OTHER POEMS
Horse, hello T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
MS dated June 28, 1949.
New Directions 12 (1950): 185. In MS and magazine, the poem is presented as a single stanza with variant lineation. Only in MLBW does the first line appear as a title—not adopted here.
An undated letter from LZ to LN praises the poem as one of her best. He notes its passion and its relation to the English epigrammatic tradition.
Energy glows at the lips - T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
In both the MS dated Nov. 20, 1949, and in New Directions 12 (1950): 185-86, the present poem is a single six-line stanza to which the following second stanza is appended:
Time on his wrist,
soft wool zippered suit,
he speaks:
Got pure gold, boss,
if we clip the gopher now.
In FPOP the six-line stanza has been broken into the present two three-line stanzas, but the “Time on his wrist” stanza remains.
Revised to the present text for T&G.
Hi, Hot-and-Humid T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
Undated MS, New Directions 12 (1950): 185, and FPOP all have a variant line 3: She marsh wallows, frog bickering
Woman in middle life Unpublished [FPOP].
We physicians watch the juices rise Unpublished [FPOP].
MS dated June 4, 1952.
1937 Unpublished [FPOP].
Untitled in “NG” MS.
European Travel/(Nazi New Order) T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
MS dated “Nov ′45?” and titled “European Travel/1943-44.”
Revised to the present text for FPOP.
Depression years T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
The early “NG” MS version is untitled with variant lines 2-3: I was certified,/ then for weeks I raked leaves
Revised to the present text for FPOP with variant title, “Depression ballad.”
Titled “Depression years” in Origin ser. 3, 2 (July 1966): 8.
So you're married, young man, Unpublished [FPOP].
There are five previous drafts. Of the two dated Oct. 22, 1953, the first begins with LN's note: “First version which to MD states the case better than the second but the second is less jingly. Mebbe I shdn't ever have gone to NY to meet the real writer but shd. have stayed in my little country patch and written country ballads to be sung with a geetar! Do I dare use the second version for FOR PAUL with a preface about a banjo or guitar in place of a violin? Of course St. Louis Blues streams through my head and a much better thing it is than I cd. do.”
What's wrong with marriage?
Women's rich fads.
Women and those “buy! buy!”
technicolor ads.
They need spinners and dryers
they need nylon slips
they need deep-well cookers
they need power shift.
You
'll find the same man
working twice to give
all the things to his wife
she demands but why live
if you can't take time
to be home from this grave
or you do and your wife's out
with another slave.
She'll sue for divorce
he'll blow his brains,
the old work horse
free at last of his reins.
Oh that diamond-digging St. Louis
woman was a breeze—
now the gals got you trembling
before a deep freeze.
The second draft (dated Oct. 22, 1953) is a four-stanza poem beginning with the first two stanzas above, adding the following as the third stanza (where it remains in the present text):
A man works two shops—
home at last from this grave
he finds his wife out
with another slave.
and closing with the final stanza above.
Next, two undated versions, the first of which is an alternative poem VI of the “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” MS (undated), and comprises stanzas 1, 2, 3, and 5 of the present text. LN ignores LZ's suggestion that she change “this” in line 10 to “his” and “his” of line 11 to “the”.
The second of the two undated versions is six stanzas long: stanzas 1 and 2 of the present text plus stanzas 3 and 4 of the first version dated Oct. 22, 1953, with the following small revision, to the opening two lines of stanza 3:
You'll find the same man's
Got two jobs—he must give
A fifth draft, an alternative poem IV of the “FOR PAUL: GROUP 8” MS dated Dec. 31, 1953, adds a title, “If you were Pete/and I played guitar” to the present text (FPOP).
“Changes in FOR PAUL” (Jan. 29, 1955) omits the poem, but it is restored by the time of FPOP (Dec. 1956).
She grew where every spring Unpublished [FPOP].
I sit in my own house Unpublished in book form [FPOP].
LN adopts Dahlberg's 1956 suggested revision to her Aug. 30, 1955, version. He suggests that she omit the two opening and two closing lines:
Time moves, no,
explodes,
[I sit in my own house
…
of our day.]
I'm a fool
I am wise.
Revised to the present text for FPOP.
Origin ser. 2, 2 (July 1961): 30.
On hearing/the wood pewee T&G, MLBW [FPOP].
Untitled in the following FPOP version:
This is my mew
as our days in a wild-flying world
last—
be alone.
Throw it over—all fashion,