The Initiation

by Lisa J. Smith

  Like moonlight and sunlight woven together. Staring at it now, with that acid violence still raging inside her, another picture flashed into Cassie's mind. That same impossibly shining hair falling across the emergency brake in Diana's car. After Diana had rescued her from Faye.

  When she was taking you home to take care of you, a voice whispered. And then she cleaned you up and fed you, introduced you to her friends. Protected you, gave you a place to belong. Made you her sister.

  Now what was that you were saying about hating her?

  Cassie felt the murderous red fury slipping away. She couldn't hold on to it, and she didn't want to try. She couldn't hate Diana… because she loved Diana. And she loved Adam. She loved them both and she wanted them to be happy.

  So where does that leave you ? the voice inside her asked.

  It was all very simple, really. The two of them were so obviously perfect for each other.

  Both tall – Diana was just the right height to look into his eyes. Both seniors – Diana was mature enough for him, and how could Cassie ever have imagined that an older guy would go for her? Both strikingly attractive, both confident, both leaders.

  And both full-blooded witches, Cassie reminded herself. I'll bet he's incredibly talented –

  of course he's talented. Diana wouldn't have anything but the best. Because she's the best herself.

  And don't forget they're childhood sweethearts. They've been together forever; they don't even see anybody else. Clearly they were made for each other.

  So it was all very obvious and very simple – except then why did she feel as if there were razor blades shredding her guts? All she had to do was wish them happiness and put aside any thoughts of Adam and her together. Just resign herself to what was going to happen anyway. Just wish them luck.

  That was when, clear and cold, the resolve came to her. No matter what happens, she promised, Diana will never know.

  And neither will he.

  If Diana found out how Cassie felt, it would upset her. She was so unselfish, she might even feel she had to do something – like give Adam up so Cassie wouldn't be hurt. And even if she didn't, she would feel awful.

  So Cassie wouldn't let her know. It was as simple as that.

  Not by word or look or deed, she promised herself fiercely. No matter what happens, I won't make Diana unhappy. I swear it.

  A wet nose was poking at her, and soft whines sounded in her ears. Raj was complaining about the lack of attention.

  "Cassie?"

  And Diana was talking to her. Cassie realized what she must look like, clinging to the big dog in a daze.

  "What?" she said, trying to keep her lips from trembling.

  "I said, are you all right?"

  Diana was looking at her, those clear green eyes full of concern. There were recent tears on the heavy lashes. Looking into those eyes, Cassie did the bravest thing she had ever done in her life. Braver than standing up to Jordan Bain-bridge and his gun, far braver than throwing herself out to rescue Sally on the hill.

  She smiled.

  "I'm fine," she said, giving Raj a final pat and getting to her feet. Her voice sounded like somebody else's, incredibly false and stupid. But Diana wasn't expecting her to be false, and Diana relaxed. "I'm just – so much has happened tonight," Cassie went on, "I guess I'm a little overwhelmed."

  Adam was opening his mouth. He was going to tell everyone, Cassie realized. He was going to tell them how he and Cassie had met and everything that happened. And then Faye, who wasn't stupid, was going to put two and two together. She was going to realize he was the boy in Cassie's poem.

  And that couldn't happen. She wouldn't let it. No one must ever know.

  "And you didn't introduce me yet," she blurted out desperately to Diana. "You know I've been wanting to meet your boyfriend ever since you told me about him."

  There. It was said. Your boyfriend. Adam was looking puzzled, but Diana, innocent Diana, was looking chagrined.

  "I'm sorry; I didn't, did I? Cassie, this is Adam – I know you two will like each other. He's been away – "

  "Visiting," Cassie put in feverishly as Adam opened his mouth again.

  "No, not visiting. I know I told you that before, but now I can tell you the truth. He's been looking for certain – objects – that belonged to the old coven, the original one. From their records, we can tell that they had some powerful tools that somehow got lost. The Master Tools. Ever since Adam heard about them, he's been searching for them."

  "And coming back empty-handed," Faye commented in her husky voice, amused. "I don't suppose this time is any different."

  Adam's attention was distracted. He looked at the tall black-haired girl and smiled. It was a mischievous smile, full of the promise of secrets.

  "What?" said Faye cynically, and then, as he simply kept smiling at her, "What? You don't expect us to believe…"

  "Adam," Diana said, her voice changing, "are you saying that… ?"

  Adam just grinned at them, then he jerked his head toward a duffel bag lying a little way down the beach. "Sean, go get that."

  Sean scuttled to get it and came back saying, "It's heavy."

  "Adam…" whispered Diana, her eyes wide.

  Adam took the duffel bag from Sean and put it on the ground. "It's too bad Nick was in such a hurry to get away," he said. "If he'd stayed, he might have seen this." He reached inside with both hands and pulled out a skull.

  Fourteen

  It was the size and shape of a human skull, but it seemed to be made entirely of crystal.

  The moonlight reflected through it, inside it. It had grinning crystal teeth, and its hollow eye sockets seemed to be staring directly at Cassie.

  There was a frozen instant, and then Faye grabbed for it.

  "Uh-uh," Adam said, holding it away from her. "No."

  "Where did you get that?" said Faye. Her voice was no longer lazy, but full of barely contained excitement.

  Even through her numbness Cassie felt a twinge of apprehension at her tone, and she saw the swift glance Adam exchanged with Diana. Then he turned to Faye. "On an island."

  "Which island?"

  "I didn't know you were so interested. You never seemed to be before."

  Faye glared. "One way or another I'll find out, Adam."

  "There's nothing else where I found it. Believe me, this was the only one of the Master Tools hidden there."

  Faye took a breath and then relaxed and smiled. "Well, the least you can do is give us all a chance to look at it."

  "No," said Diana. "Nobody even touches it yet. We don't know anything about this except that it was used by the old coven – by Black John himself. That means it's dangerous."

  "Do we know for sure this is the crystal skull Black John wrote about?" Melanie asked, her voice quiet and rational.

  "Yes," Adam said. "At least, it fits the description in the old records exactly. And I found it in a place just like the place Black John described. I think it's the real thing."

  "Then it needs to be cleared and purified and studied before any of us work with it," Diana said. She turned to Cassie. "Black John was one of the leaders of the original coven," she said. "He died not long after New Salem was founded, but before that he took the coven's most powerful tools and hid them. For safekeeping, he said – but really because he wanted them for himself. For personal gain and revenge," she said, looking at Faye meaningfully.

  "He was an evil man, and anything he touched is going to be full of negative influences.

  We're not going to use it until we're sure it's safe."

  If Black John had had anything to do with this skull, he must have been bad, Cassie thought. In some way she couldn't explain, she could feel darkness emanating from it. If she hadn't been so heartsick and dizzy, she would have said so – but surely everyone else could see for themselves.

  "The old coven never found the lost Master Tools," Laurel was saying. "They searched, because Black John had left some clues about where he might
have hidden them, but they didn't have any luck. They made new tools, but none were ever as powerful as the originals."

  "And now we've found one," Adam said, with a flash of excitement in his blue-gray eyes.

  Diana lightly touched the back of his hand as it held the skull. She smiled up at him, and the message between them was clearer than words: pride and triumph shared. This was their project, something they'd been working on for years, and now they had succeeded at last.

  Cassie clenched her teeth against the pain in her breastbone. They deserve a chance to be alone and enjoy it, she thought. With brittle, forced cheerfulness she said, "You know, I'm getting tired. I think maybe it's time…"

  "Of course," Diana said, instantly concerned. "You must be exhausted. We all are. We can talk more about this at the meeting tomorrow."

  Cassie nodded, and nobody else made any objections. Not even Faye. But as Diana was instructing Melanie and Laurel to walk Cassie up the beach to her house, Cassie accidentally met Faye's gaze. There was an odd, calculating expression in those golden eyes that would have bothered her if she hadn't been beyond caring by now.

  At home, every light was blazing, even though the first streaks of dawn hadn't yet appeared over the ocean. Melanie and Laurel walked Cassie inside, and they found her mother and grandmother both sitting up in the parlor – a stiff old-fashioned room at the front of the house. The two women were wearing nightgowns and robes. Cassie's mother's hair was loose down her back.

  Cassie saw at once by their faces that they knew.

  Is this what I was brought here for? she thought. To join the Circle? There was no longer any doubt in her mind that she'd been brought here, deliberately, and for a very specific reason.

  She got no answer from the voices inside her, not even from the deepest voice. And that was disturbing.

  But she didn't have time to worry about it. Not now. She looked at her mother's face, drawn and anxious, but also full of a kind of half-concealed pride and hope. Like a mother watching her daughter high-dive in the Olympics, and waiting for the judges' scores. Her grandmother looked the same.

  Suddenly, despite the aching pain in her chest, Cassie was filled with a surge of protective love for them. Both of them. She managed a smile as she and Melanie and Laurel stood in the doorway.

  "So, Grandma," she said, "does our family have a Book of Shadows?"

  The tension broke into laughter as the two women rose.

  "Not that I know of," her grandmother said. "But anytime you like, we'll take another look through the attic."

  The meeting on Wednesday afternoon was tense. Everyone was on edge. And Faye clearly had a hidden agenda.

  All she wanted to talk about was the skull. They should use it, she said, and immediately.

  All right, then, if not use it, at least check it out.

  Try to activate it, see what imprints had been left on it.

  Diana kept saying no. No checking it out. No activating it. They needed to purify it first.

  Ground it. Clear it. Which Faye knew would take weeks, if done properly. As long as Diana was in charge –

  Faye said that at this rate Diana might not be in charge for long. In fact, if Diana kept refusing to test out the skull, Faye just might call for a leadership vote right now instead of waiting until November. Was that what Diana wanted?

  Cassie didn't understand any of it. How do you check out a skull? Or ground it or clear it?

  But this time the argument was too heated for anyone to remember to explain to her.

  She spent the entire meeting not watching Adam, who had tried to speak to her beforehand, but whom she'd managed to evade. She clung grimly to her resolve all the way through, even though the energy it took to ignore him exhausted her. She made herself not look at his hair, which had grown a little longer since she'd seen him, or at his mouth, which was as handsome and humorous as ever. She refused to let herself think about his body as she'd seen it on the beach in Cape Cod, with its flat, sinewy muscles and bare long legs. And most of all, she forced herself not to look into his eyes.

  The one thing Cassie did glean from the meeting was that Diana was in a precarious position. "Temporary" leader meant that the coven could call a vote at any time and depose her, although the official vote was in November for some reason. And Faye was obviously looking for support so that she could take over.

  She'd gotten the Henderson brothers on her side by saying they should use the skull right away to find Kori's killer. And she'd gotten Sean on her side simply by terrorizing him, it looked like. Deborah and Suzan, of course, had supported her from the beginning.

  That was six. It would have been six on Diana's side too, but Nick refused to voice an opinion. He showed up at the meeting, but sat through it smoking and looking as if he were somewhere else. When asked, he said it didn't matter to him whether they used the skull or not.

  "So you see, you're overruled," Faye told Diana, her honey-colored eyes hot with triumph.

  "Either you let us use the skull – or I call for a vote right now and we see if you still come out leader."

  Diana's jaw was set. "All right," she said flatly, at last. "We'll try to activate it – just activate it and no more – on Saturday. Is that soon enough for you?"

  Faye nodded graciously. She'd won, and she knew it.

  "Saturday night," she said, and smiled.

  Kori's funeral was on Friday. Cassie stood with the other members of the Club and cried along with them during the service. Afterward, at the cemetery, a fight broke out between Doug Henderson and Jimmy Clark, the boy Kori had gone with that summer. It took the entire Club to get them apart. The adults seemed scared to touch them.

  Saturday dawned clear and cool. Cassie went over to Diana's in the evening after spending most of the day staring at a book, pretending to read it. She was worried about the skull ceremony, but she was even more worried about Adam. No matter what happens, she told herself, no matter what, I won't let anyone know how I feel. I'll keep it a secret forever if it kills me.

  Diana looked tired, as if she hadn't been getting enough sleep. It was the first time the two of them had been alone together since the initiation – since Adam came. Sitting in Diana's pretty room, looking at the prism in the window, Cassie could almost pretend that Adam hadn't come, that he didn't exist. Things had been so simple then; she'd been happy just to be with Diana.

  She noticed, for the first time, another wall of art prints like the ones she'd seen the first day.

  "Are these goddesses too?" she asked.

  "Yes. That's Persephone, daughter of the goddess of growing things." Diana's voice was soft with tiredness, but she smiled at the picture. It showed a slender girl laughing as she picked an armful of flowers. All around her it was springtime, and her face was filled with the joy of being young and alive.

  "And who's that?"

  "Athena. She was the goddess of wisdom. She never married either, like Artemis, the goddess of the hunt. All the other gods used to go to her for advice."

  It was a tall goddess with a wide brow and clear, calm gray eyes. Well, of course they're gray; it's a black-and-white print, Cassie told herself. But somehow she felt they'd be gray anyway, and full of cool, thoughtful intelligence.

  Cassie turned to the next print. "And who's – "

  Just then there was the sound of voices downstairs. "Hello? Anybody up there? The front door was unlocked."

  "Come on up," Diana called. "My dad's at work – as usual."

  "Here," Laurel said, appearing in the doorway. "I thought you might like these. I got them along the way." She held out an armful of mixed flowers to Diana.

  "Oh, Bouncing Bet! They're such a pretty pink, and I can dry them for soap later. And wild snapdragon and sweet melilot. I'll go get a vase."

  "I would have brought some roses from the garden, but we used them all for purifying the skull."

  Melanie smiled at Cassie. "So how's our newest witch?" she said, her cool gray eyes not unsympathetic. "To
tally confused?"

  "Well… a little confused. I mean" – Cassie picked at random one of the things she didn't understand – "how do you purify a skull with roses?"

  "You'd better ask Laurel that; she's the expert on plants."

  "And Melanie," said Laurel, "is the expert on stones and crystals, and this is a crystal skull."

  "But just what is a crystal, exactly?" Cassie said. "I don't think I even know that."

  "Well." Melanie sat down at Diana's desk as Diana came back and began to arrange the flowers. Laurel and Cassie sat on the bed. Cassie really did want to know about the things the Circle used to do magic. Even if she could never do the one spell she wanted to, she was still a witch.

  "Well, some people call crystals 'fossilized water,' " Melanie said, her voice taking on a mock-lecturing tone. "Water combines with an element to make them grow. But I like to think of them as a beach."

  Laurel snorted and Cassie blinked. "A beach?"

  Melanie smiled. "Yes. A beach is sand and water, right? And sand is silicon. When you put silicon with water, under the right conditions, it forms silicon dioxide – quartz crystal. So water plus sand plus heat plus pressure equals a crystal. The remains of an ancient beach."

  Cassie was fascinated. "And that's what the skull is made of?"

  "Yes. It's clear quartz. There are other kinds of quartz too; other colors. Amethyst is purple. Laurel, are you wearing any?"

  "What a question. Especially with a ceremony tonight." Laurel pushed her long, light-brown hair back to show Cassie her ears. In each she was wearing a dangling crystal of a deep violet color. "I like amethysts," she explained. "They're soothing and balancing. If you wear them along with rose quartz, it helps draw love to you."

  Cassie's stomach clenched. As long as they could stay off subjects like love she'd be all right. "What other stones are there?" she asked Melanie.

  "Oh, lots. In the quartz family there's citrine – Deborah wears a lot of that. It's yellow and it's good for physical activity. Energy. Fitness. That sort of thing."

  "Deborah needs a little less energy," Laurel muttered.