Just Married (More than Friends)

by Jenna Bayley-Burke

  “That’s attractive.”

  “You’re pregnant, with twins. You’re going to be bumpalicious in no time.”

  She smiled, but anxiety niggled. Cal hadn’t said anything last night, but then he’d been tired. Too tired to do anything about his erection, which had never happened before.

  “Mira, I can see your brain working. Knock it off.”

  “What?” She pulled the giant pillow across her body. The thing was a long as she was.

  “Cal is going to be fine with your body. He put those babies there. We all feel self-conscious about it, and it never matters. Promise.”

  She wanted to confess all her worries. About how they hadn’t had sex since he found out she was pregnant, about how she’d kept him interested with sexual adventures, about how strange it was to be impossibly horny and completely uncomfortable in your own body. But she’d never spoken with anyone about her sex life, and she wasn’t about to start now. Not like this.

  “So your husband is in town.” Helen gave a knowing smile.

  “You were right. I should have called him back instead of being pissed off.”

  “How long is he staying?”

  “I don’t know. We haven’t talked. He got here, saw I was fine, and fell asleep.”

  “Are you going back with him?”

  “Back to New York?” She shook her head.

  “You sure? Because yesterday you didn’t want me. You wanted him.”

  “And he wasn’t available.” She hugged the pillow closer, a buffer against Helen’s interrogation. No one knew the dynamics of her relationship with Cal, how he’d only needed to get married for the trust. He always did the right thing, even if the choice was wrong for him.

  “Cal got to you as soon as he could. And that’s all you can ask of anyone. You didn’t think he’d come, and here he is. He’s trying. Why aren’t you?”

  She sat up straighter and set the pillow aside. “You want a Team Cal T-shirt or something?”

  “I am a card-carrying member of the Miranda Rose fan club. And selfishly, I want you to stay right here where I can drop in whenever I want. But I don’t think you want to be in Seattle while he is in New York. I don’t think you ever did.”

  She cleared her throat and stood, relieved when her belly didn’t pull at the movement. “I’m going to make some coffee.”

  Helen rose from the couch. “Cal might want some when he gets up, but I have a soccer game. In the rain. Kindergarten soccer is hard core.”

  “Tell Ty good luck.”

  “Got it.” She slipped on her boots before coming back for a hug. “Promise me you’ll give him a chance, okay?”

  “I always do.”

  Mira shifted beside him on the bed. Again. He had no idea how long she’d been sitting there, reading a magazine and turning each page with a slap. He had no idea what time it was, but apparently he was supposed to be awake.

  Her heavy sigh echoed against the walls. He opened one eye and she caught him. “Oh good, you’re awake.”

  “Barely.” He cleared his throat and wondered how long he could lie here before she forced him to face the day.

  “How long are you staying?”

  He pushed himself up to sit beside her. “Until you’re ready to go. How are you feeling this morning?”

  “It’s afternoon, and where is it I’m going?” She pulled a giant pillow across her body like a shield.

  He checked the clock. It was barely past noon, but the sleep only made him more exhausted. Maybe by the end of the weekend he’d feel human again.

  She gave another exaggerated sigh. “Cal?”

  “Is that coffee?” He motioned to the mug sitting on her nightstand.

  “It was four hours ago. Now it’s cold.” She crossed her arms and narrowed her gaze as if he’d done something wrong.

  “Did you try to wake me?”

  “Not outright. You’ve never been hard to rouse before.”

  “I’ve never been this tired.” He stretched, trying to loosen himself enough to have the difficult conversation without raising his voice. Arguing with a lawyer as good as Miranda was a futile endeavor. Having her so obviously annoyed would make it even harder.

  “I’m sure you have meetings on Monday. Are you going back tonight or tomorrow?”

  “Actually, I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

  She blinked rapidly, probably Morse code for you’ve got to be kidding me. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “I’m staying.” He met her gaze, confusion swirling behind her hazel eyes. He couldn’t blame her. As responsible as he’d always been, dependable had never been on the table. “But if you are determined to stay in Seattle, we’ll need to look for a bigger place.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I couldn’t be more serious. Yesterday was a wake-up call. Or a reality check. What good is money and success if you can’t be where you need to be? We’ve been very lucky with this pregnancy. That the boys exist at all is a miracle. And yesterday when Bert told me you were in the hospital I realized I wasn’t where I needed to be.”

  The smile she’d built while he spoke wavered. “You don’t want to be in Seattle.”

  “But I need to be.”

  “You don’t. I’m fine, really. I overreacted. I’d promise that it wouldn’t happen again, but Dr. Lambert says it’s common with a first pregnancy.”

  He walked his fingers across the giant pillow, leaning closer to her and softening his voice. “She thinks the boys are fine?”

  “‘Perfect little peanuts’ was her professional opinion.”

  “Will the pain last through the rest of the pregnancy?”

  She shook her head. “It’s gone now. If it happens again, I think I’ll be able to handle it because I know what it is.”

  “And no more yoga?”

  She stared at the ceiling and sighed before turning back to him. “I’ve been downgraded to prenatal yoga classes. Though, I was thinking that if I can find someone who specializes in prenatal, I might be able to continue my practice that way.”

  “Like a personal trainer for yoga?”

  “Exactly like that.”

  He had his first project. Having someone work with her one-on-one was a good compromise. Cal swung his legs to the side of the bed and stretched. Coffee was in order before he got to work. He stood and smiled down at her. “I need coffee. You want anything?”

  “I want to know when you’re leaving.”

  “I’m not.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he made his way to the kitchen. She had an actual coffeepot, not the instant machine they had at work. He felt the warm carafe and decided to just nuke what she’d already made. Tackling Coffee Making 101 could wait for a day when he actually had more than two brain cells to rub together.

  He started a mug in the microwave, then pulled open her fridge. Miranda stared at him from the other side of the door, so he pretended to study her vegetables until the timer beeped. He grabbed the milk and turned away, fixing his coffee in the silence.

  “Listen, Cal. I’m sorry I didn’t call you back when I knew the boys were fine. I was hormonal, which isn’t an excuse. I should have been more mature.”

  “You don’t need to apologize.” He cocked his head to the side and sipped the milky brew. He’d used enough milk to cool it so he could drink it quickly. “I was scared and I wasn’t the one in pain.”

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just panicked. It won’t happen again.”

  “Doll, I don’t think you plan to panic. Panic and worry is written into the contract of parenting. We’ll both do it again, as long as we both shall live.” He finished the first mug and made a second, his synapses starting to fire anew.

  “You don’t have to stay. I don’t need looking after. I’m going to work on Monday, just like always. You can too.”

  “I plan to.” He turned back to the microwave and watched the numbers on the timer count down as he searched for the words to explain his decisions.

&
nbsp; “Are you flying back tonight or tomorrow?”

  “Why are you in such a hurry to get rid of me?” He asked without turning around. She didn’t want him there, and he knew it. But he had to stay, and had to be strong enough to weather her rejection.

  “I’m not getting rid of you. I’m just trying to plan my weekend. There are things I need to do to get ready for the week.”

  “Like what?” He turned back to her, enjoying her confused expression far more than he should. Let her be a little off kilter.

  “The usual. Grocery, dry cleaner, drugstore, pedicure, car wash, library, and I need to shop for pants. Boring stuff.”

  He nodded. “It’s fine by me if you never wear pants again. I have a list of open houses and Emma’s baby gift.”

  “Open houses?” She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed.

  “We can’t live here, Mira. We’re tripping over one another and there are two of us. I need an office and the boys won’t stay little long. They’ll need a place to play and a place to sleep and it would be nice to have a guest room in case we have a night nurse or my mother comes to visit.”

  She held up her quoting fingers. “We don’t live here. I live here. You live in New York. There is plenty of room—”

  “I’m not leaving. My life is in Seattle.”

  “You have twenty businesses to run in New York.”

  He shook his head. In for a penny . . . “I stepped down. I have one business to run, and I’ll do it remotely, at least for now.”

  She staggered back into the counter. “You what?”

  He set his mug down and stepped to her. “I’m handing over Kerr Industries formally on Monday morning. I don’t have the time to dedicate to running it now, or any time in the near future.”

  “You can’t do that. Dirk will sell off everything. Even Kentigern and your mother’s department stores. It will be like we got married for nothing.”

  His brows felt heavy as he looked down at her. She might not realize the real reason he married her now, but he had a lifetime to convince her. And tenacity was a virtue he had in spades. “Don’t worry about the business. My mother is stepping into my role. But that’s not important. We got married because I couldn’t live without you in my life.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t play me, okay? Just because I don’t want to move to New York, don’t take this road. It’s cruel.”

  “I’m not playing.”

  She slid out of the kitchen, placing the counter between them. Her chin quivered as she spoke. “You are. It’s all some game to you. Getting married was a game to secure the estate. You didn’t want me in New York until you knew I was pregnant, and when I said no, you tried to buy off our friends and move us all there. When that didn’t work you’re trying this I love you, I can’t live without you bit. It’s heartless. And if I ever mattered to you as a friend at all, I’m begging you to stop.”

  His pulse quickened. She was slipping away, even when she was right in front of him. “This isn’t a game. Not to me.”

  “Then stop trying to play me.”

  “I did stop. We’ve been playing each other for years, and the second I learned you were pregnant I stopped. You’re the one who is still trying to play the one who cares less wins. I get it, you don’t need me the way I need you. You don’t want to be my wife even if I want to be your husband. But you’re not the only one who gets a vote anymore. It’s not just me you’re rejecting. The boys are going to want me here, even if I don’t know what I’m doing. What they need trumps what we want. So I’m here to stay, to take your rejection and love you anyway.”

  She narrowed her eyes and studied him with such scrutiny his conviction sagged under the weight. He didn’t know how to make her believe. He walked around the counter to where she stood. She turned to face him, but before she could speak he lifted her, sitting her down on the counter top. He moved closer still, until he could hold her face in his hands, her thighs pressing against his hips.

  “I should have told you then,” he spoke, his words soft because he didn’t have the strength for more. “When I knew what you were, a piece of me I’d always known was missing. From the beginning you were more to me than anyone else. I loved you, and I knew I couldn’t have you, couldn’t give you the things you wanted. Couldn’t even admit to myself that I wanted the same things too. And I thought I could love you enough to let you have what you wanted with someone else. So I kept you just close enough, until my father died and I realized I needed you, and I wasn’t going to be strong enough, selfless enough, to let anyone else have what I needed. That’s why I married you. I didn’t think you would have agreed to it, knowing that I didn’t have a family on my agenda.”

  She blinked and a tear fell, but she held his gaze, giving him the courage to continue.

  “You’ve always been what I think about, what I want, what I need. And two weeks ago I would have sworn I didn’t want children. I loved my life. But now, I love you and the boys even more. I want them with you. Wherever my family is, that’s where I’ll be. So I’m staying here, with you. Wherever you are.”

  She swallowed and placed her hands on his. “You want to be in New York.”

  “No. My business is in New York. I think I’d have more time to be with you and the boys if we lived there, but I’m staying here. For as long as you are.

  “For a long time I let you believe you weren’t my world, and so I understand that it’s going to take more than words to convince you that you’re the most important thing to me. So I’m staying here. For however long it takes. Someday, you’re going to believe that I love you, and that I want to be a father to our boys.”

  “I’m changing, Cal. Physically, but my priorities are changing too. I’m not the same person. Maybe you loved the little mouse in law school, or the career girl that came after, but now—”

  “Did you ever love me?”

  She gasped. “I do. I always have. That’s why I don’t want to force you to be something just because you think you should.”

  “I’ve changed too. I went to law school because I didn’t want to admit to my father I didn’t want to work for him. You encouraged me to go into business for myself, and then to heal the relationship with my dad, and each of those things changed me. If you can love me as I grow, can’t you see that I love you more for who you’re becoming? The only thing that doesn’t scare me about becoming a father is knowing the boys have you for a mother.”

  She leaned into him, resting her forehead against his. “That’s beautiful.”

  “So are you.” He kissed her forehead and wrapped her up in his arms, holding her there until the ache in his chest eased. “So you’ll go to the open houses today?”

  She shook her head and looked up at him, her lips turning up in a grin. “We don’t need to. I’ll go to New York.”

  He kissed her, not because he wanted to, but because there was nothing more he wanted. His wife, his family, in his home. And he’d dedicate his life to making sure how much they all knew how deep his love went.

  Epilogue

  Miranda lifted her face to the spray of the shower, letting the warm water wash away the stress of an overnight flight with toddling twins. When they were babies they’d fall asleep in their baby buckets to the hum of the engines, but now that they’d abandoned stillness in favor of constant movement, no one had slept. At least they’d been happy.

  To his credit, Cal had told her to sleep and tried to keep the boys corralled, but they wanted both Mommy and Daddy. As usual. And that wasn’t going to get any easier. Miranda sighed and pulled conditioner through her wet hair. Maybe she’d catch a nap this afternoon, though since the boys had gone down as soon as they made it to Kentigern, their whole schedule would be off. Probably for a week.

  “Hello, wife.”

  Miranda watched over her shoulder as Cal stepped into the shower, grinning from ear to ear. Like he hadn’t been up for over twenty-four hours. Hell, he was up now.

  He moved behind he
r, then reached around, spreading one large hand between her breasts and the other across her belly. She pressed her hands into his hard thighs.

  “Cal, I’m tired. Really tired.”

  “I want you.” He pressed his lips to the side of her neck, a gentle kiss at first, then a warm, wet plea for more. His lower hand slipped over her slick belly to cup her sex. He rubbed her clit and pressed his hard cock against her ass. “I need to be inside you.”

  Desire swirled low in her belly and she leaned forward, bracing her hands against the slick granite. Shower sex had always been a favorite, but it had become a staple of their menu since having the boys. The last year had been an adventure in how quickly and quietly they could get off.

  “We could take this to bed. The boys are sleeping.” Mira tilted her head to the side, letting his lips roam until he found that spot at the nape of her neck that made her insides clench.

  “If you get horizontal, you might fall asleep on me.” He took a breast in each hand and pinched her nipples between his fingers, squeezing until her breath caught. “And I like you loud.”

  He spun her to face him, and she leaned in for a kiss. Only he dropped to his knees, his mouth intent on her pussy. She squealed as he lifted her leg to his shoulder, opening her to him as he turned up the heat. She cursed and searched the slick walls for something to hold on to as her knees began to shake. She gripped his hair in one hand and found and knocked her shampoo off the shelf with the other.

  “I’m falling,” she warned, though she didn’t want him to stop. Ever.

  He kissed his way up her body as he rose, straightening her leg as he stood. He grinned down at her as he slipped a finger inside, his thumb circling her clit. “I remember the first time we did this one.”

  “Stop talking and let me come.” She rested her arms on his shoulders and kissed his neck, scraping her teeth over his Adam’s apple.

  “I thought you were tired.” He withdrew his hand and gripped his cock, teasing her folds with the fat head.