If You Only Knew

by Dixie Lee Brown

  Nate, backlit by yard lights, waved as they piled from the chopper, and sauntered forward to meet them halfway.

  Joe stuck his hand out. “Joe Reynolds, and this is Walker. Appreciate you helping my friends.”

  Nate shook hands with both men. “Our mutual friends—glad I could help.” He looked toward Ty. “Sheriff Barnett said there was some trouble after I talked to you.”

  “Nothing Rayna and I couldn’t handle.” Ty glanced toward her, saw her blanch, and wished he’d kept his mouth shut.

  As members of Joe’s team, they’d learned to compartmentalize and laugh at close calls. The nature of the job required it. Their sanity demanded it. Apparently, Rayna would need a little more time before it amused her that she’d nearly shot Ty.

  Automatically, he reached out to comfort her. “A good night’s sleep will put it all in perspective.” Was it his imagination, or did she lean in to him for support?

  Nate grabbed a bag and led them toward the house. “My trip home was uneventful. If anyone followed me out of town, it didn’t take them long to realize I was alone. Wish I’d stayed, buddy.”

  “You know what they say about hindsight. It could have been the other way around. It worked out. Although, I’m a little hungry. How about you, Rayna?” Ty rubbed his hand up and down her back. She still didn’t pull away, and he took a step closer.

  “If I know our Rayna, she’s always hungry.” Walker threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her from Ty’s reach.

  She groaned. “Come on, you guys. I don’t eat that much. Do I?”

  “No. Not for someone who’s been on a weeklong starvation diet.” Joe ducked when she threw a punch at his shoulder.

  Ty was glad to see her smile, and his lips twitched in response.

  A four-foot spiked iron fence separated the field from the lawn. A cobblestone path spilled from an open gate and disappeared into darkness to their right. Inside the yard, the winding path separated into three different trails and crisscrossed a mound of earth covered with rocks, flowers, bushes, and trees. The earth mound extended for twenty feet in both directions. There’d been plenty of speculation about Uncle’s Leo’s secret garden, as Nate called it. Ty suggested they’d find the bodies of Uncle Leo’s victims buried there if they dug it up and finally know how he came by his undisclosed wealth. Apparently, Nate had seen fit to keep it just the way it was.

  The trail across the immaculately kept gardens narrowed and wound its way through twenty-five feet of foliage, requiring all but Rayna to duck, before it opened into lawn again. As soon as Ty stepped from the vegetation, he heard the growl. He stopped and put a hand on Rayna’s arm.

  “That damn beast is back!” Nate reached for one of the rocks alongside the garden path just as a dog padded into view ahead of them.

  “How did he get in?” Ty’s gaze ran over the blocky form of the animal.

  His wide head and chest, thick neck, and short, pointed ears gave away his pit bull heritage. He stopped when they did, and intelligent eyes watched them. A low noise that could have either been a growl or a whine came from his throat. His chest was white while the rest of his body was a dusty tan, and he had a stripe of white down his face that called attention to gentle brown eyes. The animal was thin, stocky in front, but his ribs protruded in stark relief.

  “I had some workers in a couple of weeks ago doing repairs on the fence and alarm system. They were in and out of here for a week or so, and since I couldn’t be here the entire time, I left the gate open for them. The dog showed up after they were gone. I’m not convinced one of them didn’t dump him here. Tried to catch him or run him off. Couldn’t even get close.” Nate met Ty’s gaze. “I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I did scout around for signs of any other activity. I found some deer tracks, but that was all.”

  A grin tugged on Ty’s lips. Apparently his partner could still read his mind.

  Turning his attention back to the dog, Nate hollered, and when the dog didn’t move, he reared back to throw the rock.

  “No!” Rayna gasped and stepped forward. “He’s starving. Can’t we feed him something?”

  “If I feed him, I’ll never get rid of him.” Nate slid the rock from one hand to the other. “I wasn’t going to hit him.”

  “Let’s at least take him to the humane society.” She took a step forward and stretched out her hand.

  “Rayna, that dog might take your arm off.” Ty drew his gun.

  Rayna turned on him. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

  “Taking a pit bull to the humane society around here is the same as a death sentence. I was hoping he’d just leave.” Nate dropped the rock and sighed. “Guess I’ll get something to feed the mongrel.” He made a wide circle around the dog and headed for the house.

  Rayna moved slowly forward. Within five feet of the animal, she dropped to her knees. He still growled, but now the sound lacked enthusiasm and ended on a high-pitched whimper.

  “Don’t talk to him and don’t look him in the eye. Just let him smell you.” Joe glanced at Ty and concern shadowed his eyes. Clearly he wanted Ty to stand ready.

  The dog took a few shambling steps forward and sniffed at the woman kneeling in front of him. Then, as though suddenly convinced she represented no danger, his tail wagged a slow rhythm. He took the last two steps and leaned his flat forehead against her shoulder.

  A collective breath left Walker, Joe, and Ty as Rayna gently scratched the dog’s ears. Ty shoved his gun in his waistband and shook his head. Why was he surprised? The woman could charm anything. He moved closer to where the pair huddled on the ground.

  Nate returned from the house with two plastic bowls and gaped at Rayna with her arm thrown across the dog’s back, then turned his gaze on Ty. “I haven’t been able to get within twenty feet of that mutt.” He walked around the dog and stopped behind Rayna, handing her the water bowl first, which she set down. The dog, however, had already smelled the food and was doing a little dance on his front end as Rayna put the food bowl in front of him.

  Hard telling what Nate had found to feed him, but it smelled damn good, and Ty didn’t blame the dog for diving in. The pleasure on Rayna’s face as she sat back and watched the emaciated animal devour the food made him slightly jealous, but he couldn’t help smiling. Right about then, she glanced at him and returned his smile, and a weight lifted off his chest.

  He’d been afraid he’d destroyed their friendship by pushing her. Seeing her so full of joy hammered home the truth he’d nearly forgotten. He’d miss their friendship more than anything. It was obvious he didn’t know how to be her lover, but they’d started as friends, and if that was how it had to continue, so be it. For the time he had left with her, he’d concentrate on being her friend and forget about a future that was obviously out of his reach.

  Chapter Thirteen

  * * *

  NATE WAS AN exceptional cook, and he’d outdone himself tonight. A big pot of seafood pasta, French bread, fresh green beans, and salad disappeared in no time. It had always been one of Joe’s rules that talking shop at mealtime was taboo, and tonight was no different. Unfortunately, Nate took it upon himself to entertain the crowd with stories from their past when he and Ty first became partners and started working with the DEA.

  “No one wanted to work with him.” Nate made a strained face. “I was the new kid, so I got stuck. Ty already had quite a reputation by then. Fresh-faced enough to blend in with the younger crowd, he volunteered time after time for undercover assignments no one else wanted. The more dangerous the better, and if he had to beat the shit out of somebody . . . well, that just made it more attractive.” Nate winked at Rayna, who appeared to be hanging on his every word.

  “Yep. He fired up that Harley and headed out into some situation that would make the hair stand up on the back of my neck. My job was to set up surveillance and jerk his ass out of there before it got too hot to handle. Do you know what an impossible job that was?”

  Rayna studied Ty curiously. “A Harley
? I didn’t know you rode.”

  Nate laughed. “No offense, Rayna, but I bet there’s a lot you don’t know about our friend here.”

  Walker set down his fork and pushed back his plate. “You must have done something right, Nate. You’re both still alive and, apparently, still friends.”

  “Yeah. It was questionable there for a while. Then I decided if I couldn’t beat ’em, I better join ’em. Together, we took down dozens of drug rings all over Oregon. I wouldn’t be half the cop I am today if it wasn’t for Ty.” Nate’s gaze swept around the table until it landed on his partner.

  Ty nodded stiffly, humbled by his friend’s sincere gratitude and embarrassed by the contemplative expressions the others wore. It was true that when he walked away from that life, he’d left it all and became someone else. While Nate launched into some of the more colorful and gruesome tales, he felt Joe and Walker glancing at him, no doubt wondering who he really was. The worst, though, was seeing the question in Rayna’s eyes. It would be best if she never had to find out.

  After dinner, Ty volunteered to clean up and, to his surprise, Rayna offered to help. He rinsed and put the dishes in the dishwasher while she cleared the table and refrigerated the leftover salad. All too aware of his new resolve to salvage their friendship, he opted to remain silent. Every time he opened his mouth, he only made the situation worse.

  She dried her hands on a towel as she watched him. “That person Nate was talking about—was that really you?”

  He poured detergent in the dishwasher, closed the door, and turned it on before he swung slowly to regard her. “That was a long time ago.”

  “Are you saying that person doesn’t exist anymore?”

  He shook his head. “I’d be lying if I said that.”

  She searched his face for a few seconds, then dropped her gaze. “Okay.”

  Okay? What the hell did that mean?

  She grabbed some leftover pasta and bread she’d set aside and started for the door.

  “Where are you going?” He knew, but he wanted her to stay, even if only for a few more minutes.

  “To feed Ribs the leftovers.”

  “Ribs?” He chuckled.

  “It fits. Don’t you think?” She grimaced. “Can we get him some dog food tomorrow?”

  “We can probably do that.” He wasn’t sure what time Joe planned to leave tomorrow, but there was no sense getting into that with her now. He wasn’t ready to lose her smile just yet. “Need some help out there?”

  “No.” She put her hand on the doorknob, then twisted to see him. “It’s safe here. Right?”

  He nodded. “This place is a fortress. Plus, you’ve got that mangy dog out there.” He gestured toward the backyard.

  Her smile returned. “He’s not mangy.” She opened the door and slipped through, leaving him to stare after her.

  “She’s doing all right.” Joe stood in the kitchen doorway.

  “She’ll be okay . . . better as soon as she gets home.” Ty turned and was instantly on guard, expecting Joe’s criticism for how he’d handled the mission.

  “I can see you’re still pissed.” Joe strode farther into the room and leaned against a counter, crossing his arms. “Do you remember when Charlie died?”

  Ty huffed out his breath. He’d never forget.

  “I sent Charlie on that mission alone. When he needed us the most, nobody was around. When he died, I blamed myself.” A muscle in Joe’s jaw flexed. “It didn’t change anything. He’s still dead, and I still miss him. All I can do is make sure it never happens again. You know me, Ty, and you know how I operate. Did you think it would be any different for you?”

  The undisguised emotion on Joe’s face dissolved the majority of Ty’s anger, and he had to swallow hard before he could speak. “I created this mess . . . I don’t need anyone’s help to clean it up.”

  “Maybe not, but I didn’t ask Nate to help out for your benefit or even for Rayna’s. That was entirely selfish on my part. I don’t intend to lose any more friends—not like that. Remember when we went into Korea and got Walker out of that prison? Or when we took Cara off that yacht? When one of us is in trouble, someone backs us up. That’s the way this game is played.”

  “That’s just it, Joe. I’m not one of us anymore.”

  “The hell you’re not. Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you and Rayna right now, but you have a job and a home in Montana regardless.” Joe raised his hand in time to forestall the objection poised on Ty’s tongue. “All I’m saying is, weigh your options carefully.” Joe’s gaze shifted to the door Rayna exited through. “Now, as soon as she gets back in here, we’ll figure out what happens next.” Joe pushed away from the counter and sauntered out of the kitchen.

  “ANY CHANCE HE’LL give it up?” Walker took a seat next to Rayna at the dining room table and accepted one of the beers Nate passed around.

  “No.” Ty and Nate answered together. Andre’s voice sounded in Ty’s head, detailing his plans to hunt Rayna down and kill her. If Ty had learned anything from the man’s rampage through southwest Portland, it was that he didn’t issue idle threats, and he didn’t like to lose face. Ty’s gaze swept around the table and stopped momentarily on Rayna as she glanced toward Joe.

  “That leaves one option. Take him out.” Joe spoke quietly.

  Nate cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking about that, and I don’t see how stopping the man is going to get Rayna, or Ty for that matter, out of the hot seat. Andre’s second-in-command will finish what he started. It’s called organized crime for a reason.”

  “He’s right.” Ty tipped his beer bottle toward his partner. “He also doesn’t want me committing premeditated murder in his jurisdiction, but he’s right about Andre. I have to give him something he wants more than Rayna.”

  “You mean Bree Knight. You can’t do that, Ty.” Rayna stood and stared at him in disbelief.

  “I’ll do whatever has to be done to make sure you’re safe. You can’t stay locked behind a ten-foot chain-link fence for the rest of your life.” He stared her down, even though he was drowning in guilt, and her disappointment in him only served to push him farther from shore, but it didn’t make one damn bit of difference. It was the only plan that had a chance of working. He turned to Joe. “Did you find her?”

  Rayna shoved her chair back and marched from the room.

  Joe watched her retreat. “I found her. She’s in Alaska with her daughter, and she’s remarried.” He plucked a crumpled piece of paper from his shirt pocket and tossed it on the table. “Her phone number.”

  Ty pulled the scrap of paper toward him. “I’ll call her tomorrow as soon as you leave with Rayna.”

  “You plan to turn her over to him?” Walker’s voice held no indication of what he thought about that.

  “Not if I don’t have to, but I won’t let him kill Rayna.” The bile rose in Ty’s throat at the thought of turning Bree over to that madman, but he wouldn’t give on this issue. Not if it meant Rayna’s life.

  “I think we’ll stick around another day or so if it’s all right with you, Nate. I’ll make some calls of my own. Maybe there’s something else Andre wants.” Joe moved his chair back and stood.

  Ty frowned. “Okay, but someone has to go after dog food tomorrow.”

  Walker chuckled and raised his beer to his lips. “That’ll be a good job for me.”

  The group disbanded. Joe and Walker headed upstairs to the rooms Nate had readied for them. Ty and Nate sat at the table.

  Ty leaned on his elbows. “I don’t have a choice, Nate.”

  “I’m not arguing, buddy. You’re in a tough spot.” Nate shrugged. “Maybe Joe will come up with something.”

  “It’s a long shot.” Ty rose to his feet. “Did you see where she went?”

  “No, but I showed her how to turn the back door alarm off earlier. She’s probably out with that damn dog.”

  Ty climbed the stairs to his room, stopping to rap on her door on the way. When she di
dn’t answer, he swung the door open and found it empty. He continued on to his room and intended to get some much-needed sleep, but the window overlooking the backyard drew him, and he couldn’t resist. The patio below was bathed in muted light from bollards at each corner. Rayna was curled up tightly on the porch swing, and the dog—Ribs—lay on the deck at her feet.

  Rayna looked so sweet, lost, and vulnerable that he almost forgot how lethal she could be. Apparently, he’d also forgotten how pissed she was at him. In the next instant, he grabbed the spare blanket at the foot of the bed and tugged the comforter loose, wrapping it around his arm. As an afterthought, he snagged a pillow.

  Ty would never know if she had been asleep or not, because as soon as he opened the door and stepped on to the patio, Ribs sat up and growled low in his throat. Rayna started and raised her head, alarm in her eyes.

  “It’s just me.” How long would it be before she didn’t spook at every noise? Andre should pay for that too.

  “Ty? What are you doing out here?” Her voice was sleepy, and she peered at the bundle in his arms. “Did you bring me a blanket?”

  “Nope.” He held up one hand. “Actually, this one is for Ribs.” He stepped cautiously toward the dog that had stopped growling and now wagged his tail lazily. Crouching beside him, he fashioned the blanket into a soft bed, then patted it invitingly. He grinned when Ribs hoisted himself up and plopped down on the warm blanket.

  “Ribs, you’re a traitor.” Amusement tinged Rayna’s words.

  “And this one is mine.” Ty raised the arm holding the comforter. “But I’ll share if you want.”

  She fixed him with a completely distrustful gaze, and hurt shone in her eyes. “I’m not falling for that again.”

  “There are no strings attached to this blanket. I only want to be a friend.”

  She searched his eyes for a few seconds, skepticism in her furrowed brow.

  Ty shrugged. “Besides, if I tried anything tonight, I’ve no doubt this mangy cur would eat me alive.”