Right from the Start

by Jeanie London

Kenzie made her way to the Dumpster, and everything about her felt heavy. She ached inside for a little boy who’d been so upset because his mom was leaving.

  She ached for the mom who hadn’t been able to console her little boy.

  She ached for the man who was running interference between the two, sacrificing himself to be there for his family.

  She’d had it all wrong from the very beginning. Melinda hadn’t mentioned her son’s special needs during their meetings, and Will hadn’t even mentioned his son during the election.

  Because they’d wanted to protect him from people who didn’t understand? People like the runner who’d passed judgment after one glance.

  Or because they ached for their son and were trying to provide for his needs in the best way they could?

  Kenzie suspected the answer was a bit of both.

  She tried to imagine what it might be like to be in Melinda’s shoes. How did a mother cope with not being able to make things better for her child? Kenzie couldn’t even imagine, had zero frame of reference. All she knew was that Melinda had been hurt because she couldn’t console her son.

  Will had stepped in and taken charge, as she suspected he always did, comforting both Sam and his mother in the process.

  God, Kenzie hadn’t understood him at all.

  She had thought she’d had all the answers about love, but she hadn’t even been asking the right questions. She’d believed Will had failed at love because he had two divorces behind him. But those divorces didn’t define him. No, what defined him was his commitment to his family, his dedication to his son.

  That was the mark of someone succeeding at love.

  Kenzie hadn’t understood at all. With Nathanial, she’d been allowing friendship and familiarity to define their relationship. Then she’d waited, avoiding any real commitment, never testing herself against her inner child, loving but never actually being in love.

  Until Will had come into the picture.

  And ever since, she’d been on a roller coaster of emotion, more alive, more in love than she’d ever been in her life.

  * * *

  “DOESN’T THE MEDIA oversee what’s written anymore?” Will folded the newspaper and handed it to Deanne. He didn’t want to read any more. Not another word or the top of his head might blow off. “Whatever happened to integrity in journalism?”

  “All I ever hear about is slanted media. And in the advent of the internet all bets are off. Anyone can write anything they want.” She glared at the paper and gave a huff of exasperation. “Okay, that’s not entirely fair. There are a few publications that stubbornly wield their power for good and not evil.”

  “Just doesn’t feel like it today.”

  Crossing the hall in a few steps, she leaned into an empty classroom and dropped the paper in the trash. “No, it doesn’t.”

  They stood in the hallway at the old Angel House location while Sam was working with the speech therapist. School didn’t begin for another three weeks. And they needed two of those weeks to move and get Angel House up and running in the new location, which left him only a week. Seven days.

  Where school would begin became the question.

  Not only did the entire place still need to be painted, but all the flooring, wall covering and lighting were sitting in one of his warehouses, waiting for his crew to finish installing bathroom fixtures.

  But instead of concentrating on finishing the renovations in record time, Will was knee-deep in the backlash from the exposé on Family Foundations. The mayor, the council, Angel House parents...they’d all expected some opposition but hadn’t anticipated the spill-over effect of the previous presidential election year. People were still raw from the constant bombardment of controversial social issues.

  An advocacy group now picketed at the original Angel House, making sure they called every media outlet so the protest could be documented live. The mayor had immediately responded by going on record stating that Family Foundations served, and would continue to serve, all representatives of Hendersonville’s population without discrimination or bias. She touted the careful safeguards Will had put in place, from Kenzie’s agency to the work of the Main Street Advisory Board.

  Hendersonville had been well covered.

  The mayor had also made Family Foundations financials and guidelines available on the city website for any who wanted to see where Family Foundations spent money. She also posted links to direct people to all the public records that proved Angel House was a legitimate nonprofit organization serving the public based on need.

  Angel House had done the same on their own website, providing documented and historic proof they served kids from all backgrounds. Their defense was total transparency.

  The dust still hadn’t settled.

  And while Will didn’t think the mayor would give in to the bullying by refusing Angel House the Family Foundations lease, he was now worried about the effect of the public controversy on Angel House’s chances with the Ramsey Foundation.

  Serving the community was a criterion for the grant, but picketers and inflammatory letters to the editor didn’t demonstrate a community embracing the service. If Angel House didn’t win the grant, then all this work with Family Foundations, with the move, with the renovations would have served no purpose whatsoever because Angel House wouldn’t be able to keep the doors open, anyway.

  “The Ramsey Foundation emailed me again,” Deanne said.

  “They want a date?”

  She nodded. “The application process is complete, and all we’re waiting on is the walk-through. They said we may have a problem scheduling if we wait any longer.”

  “So you need a date.” Not a question this time.

  She didn’t reply, simply waited with a somber expression. She knew he’d have already given her one if he’d had it.

  Leaning against the wall, Will dragged a hand across his forehead to relieve the pressure there. God, he was tired. He couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t been tired. “Are we going to have anyone left to move this place with all the preparation for the Apple Festival?”

  Answer a question with a question. He’d bought himself a few more minutes.

  “Our wonderful pastor told me not to worry about that part. He said he’d ask for help from every committee at the parish if we need it.”

  What did Will even say to that kind of support? Thank you didn’t begin to cover his appreciation to people who so generously offered hope whenever and wherever it was needed.

  “I’m surprised they’re even willing to touch us with all this media fallout. Instead of telling the world about the amazing work they do at this parish, we’re going out of our way to disconnect from them. They deserve so much better for everything they’ve provided Angel House.”

  Her expression softened thoughtfully. “No doubt about that, but they understand what needs to happen for Angel House to grow. And keep in mind the parish isn’t involved for recognition, although recognition would certainly be appreciated. The parish is involved because it can fulfill a need. It’s really that simple. That’s what everyone around here does. They help people who need them.”

  “They may wind up with picketers in the church parking lot for their effort.”

  “Then I’d say a prayer for the picketers because they’ll get a lot more than they bargained for when Father gets a hold of them.”

  Will chuckled. Deanne was always so quick to give him perspective with reminders of how he needed more faith in p
eople and more trust in miracles.

  “Come on,” she said. “Sam’s still going to be a bit. Let’s get coffee in my office. We can talk more there.”

  Will followed to the break room, mentally reviewing the list of things still to be finished before he could give her free rein to begin moving into the building.

  Once ensconced in Deanne’s office, Will took one look around at the books and computer software stacked on her desk and the empty shelves lining the wall. “Coffee, right. You want help packing boxes.”

  “Drink that before you fall down and land in one of those boxes yourself. When was the last time you slept?”

  He considered that. “Got a few hours between the cops breaking up the picketers and the mayor’s press conference.”

  Deanne eyed him from over the rim of her cup. “You can’t complete the renovation if you kill yourself.”

  “My mom’s been coming over to spend the nights with Sam so I can leave after he falls asleep. I need those hours.”

  She didn’t reply, only half sat on the edge of her desk, inadvertently tipping over a stack of books that knocked over another stack then another. There were several muffled thumps as books landed on the floor.

  Deanne watched everything topple over with disinterest. “That’s my life at the moment.”

  “Join the club.”

  “So what are we going to do, Will? Book the walk-through? I can try to get the very last day. Unfortunately, we’ll also be opening our booths at the festival then. That whole week will be labor intensive, and we need all our key people at the center for the walk-through. The Ramsey Foundation will want to see the place in action. They’ll want to talk to teachers and therapists and students and parents. We’ll need all hands on deck for the performance.”

  “We can’t possibly have the space ready for the week before the festival.”

  She nodded. “I’ll ask Father to find us some help. We’ve got days of chopping vegetables for the American booth and making churro batter. If we can get some people into the booth for opening day, we should be okay.”

  “Book the walk-through,” Will said decidedly. They hadn’t come this far only to trip at the finishing line. If he had to work around the clock from now until then, he’d get everything done. “If I let you into the offices this weekend and next, will that help? I can’t have lots of people running around during the week. It’s still a work site.”

  “I’m not going to lie, Will. We’re already cutting it close. I’ve had Laura, Beth and Fred packing up classrooms for weeks. There’s just so much junk.”

  “Want me to have a Dumpster delivered?”

  She paused, considering the offer. “Thanks, but don’t bother with that now. Maybe later. Father already said we can take as long as we need to clear this place out. Let’s get moved in and get school started. Then we can deal with whatever mess is left over here.”

  “One less thing to worry about is a good thing right now. It’ll probably be in our best interests to move in slowly, anyway. Might keep the media off our trail for a bit before all the fanfare of moving trucks on the big day.”

  “Big days, you mean. But that’s a good idea.”

  He hated the thought of picketers showing up to grandstand at the new location. They would never be content at the rear entrance to Angel House. No, they would only be satisfied to march up and down Main Street garnering the most visibility. Kenzie wouldn’t be able to get to her front door.

  God, he wanted to see her, just one smile.

  “I’ll focus on getting specific rooms finished and bringing the new shelving and storage units out of the warehouse. That way everything will be there when you’re ready to start unpacking.”

  “So, we’re going to take a leap of faith?” Deanne asked.

  Will nodded, tucking away his thoughts of a beautiful redhead who was his to enjoy only in the privacy of his mind. “Looks like that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

  * * *

  “KENZIE, WHAT BRINGS YOU by tonight?” Nathanial glanced away from his desk, where he and his assistant had been crouched over some sort of documentation.

  “Hey, Chad,” Kenzie said then met Nathanial, who approached her, reaching for her hands and kissing her cheek.

  “Nice to see you, Kenzie,” Chad said. “Please excuse me. I’m going to seize this chance to grab something to eat from the vending machine since my maniac boss won’t break for dinner.”

  Kenzie smiled as Chad headed through the open door that he pulled shut behind him. “Does that answer my question about how the case is going?”

  Nathanial nodded, then dragged her over to the sofa. “What’s up? You don’t drop by unannounced for no reason.”

  “I’m only unannounced because I didn’t see the point in taking the time to text when you never reply.”

  He hung his head. “I’m on overload. It’s really that simple. Sorry I’ve been so rude.”

  “If you can’t trust me to understand, then who can you trust, right?”

  He leveled his gaze at her. “Okay, now my flags are flying. Hit me with it.”

  She smiled. “No, I won’t. Not when you’ve got so much on your plate that you can’t even handle texting me. That’s never happened, and it tells me everything I need to know. But I do want to tell you something and ask you a question. Can you handle that?”

  He leaned forward and took her hands, giving her his undivided attention. “Shoot.”

  Kenzie took a deep breath. The moment of truth. “I respect that you’re drowning right now, and you don’t want to share. But I want you to know I’m here for you no matter what.”

  “I know that, Kenz.”

  His touch was strong and familiar, his voice soft, reminding her of their conversations late at night, snuggling in bed. She had so few of those memories, but the ones she did have had kept her hoping for a long time.

  “Promise me you’ll remember that, Nathanial. I’m here and always will be. Today, tomorrow or whenever. Nothing will change that. You’re my dearest friend in the world, and I can’t imagine life without you.”

  He exhaled heavily, seeming to gear up for what he sensed was coming because he knew her so well. Or maybe he simply was so burdened that he couldn’t handle what she was saying. Kenzie didn’t know. For the first time ever, she couldn’t read him, felt distanced enough that his needs weren’t her priority. Her need was, and everything inside her that felt so momentous, and urgent, and necessary didn’t feel the same way to Nathanial.

  That was the reality of the situation, and it was no longer good enough for her.

  She squeezed his hands gently, opened her mouth to ask if he wanted her to wait for him. She intended to explain that she couldn’t promise she would but she’d consider it.

  But as they sat there in that moment, no words between them, only the companionable silence that was uniquely theirs, Kenzie realized that Nathanial’s answer wouldn’t make any difference.

  She didn’t want to wait.

  She wanted to feel alive the way Will made her feel, flustered by the mere sight of him, giddy from his kisses, awed by his dedication to those he loved, frustrated by his unwillingness to consider any possible scenario for their relationship.

  She wanted to be challenged, to help him understand that what was happening between them was too special not to explore no matter where it led.

  And in the wake of that realization, Kenzie knew that asking Nathanial whether o
r not he wanted her to wait would only be putting him on the spot for no reason.

  He’d already told her how he felt by his words and his actions. She’d been the one who hadn’t wanted to accept them.

  She’d been the one willing to wait.

  Would they ever get around to realizing their plans?

  Maybe, if she forced the issue. But even if they did force it, she might be told, “Not right now,” as she had in her parents’ backyard not so long ago.

  She was done with waiting.

  “And I wanted to ask you to be honest with me if you ever feel as though our friendship is in jeopardy. Give me a chance to address the problem before any damage is done. Will you promise me that, Nathanial?” The question popped out of her mouth, the words miraculously there when she needed them.

  He held her gaze, those beautiful blue eyes revealing a play of emotions that suggested he was hearing everything she hadn’t said. He understood that this time was different.

  “It’s Will Russell, isn’t it?” he asked.

  She nodded. She had no reply, didn’t need one. Nathanial had sensed something was up even before she’d recognized the seriousness of her feelings for Will. He’d warned her against getting involved, but hadn’t chosen to resume that part of their relationship, to help her tackle what she’d been struggling with or to even fight for her.

  And she respected his choice.

  In that moment, he looked so handsome, the embodiment of everything she’d ever dreamed of for her life. “I’ll always be here for you, no matter what happens.”

  And she couldn’t say anything would happen because Will was so set against involving her in his life. But she couldn’t wait for Nathanial anymore. She was going to try to change Will’s mind, going to try with everything she had in her.

  Nathanial rested his forehead against hers, such a familiar gesture, the two of them all alone against the world.

  Best friends for life.

  There was nothing for him to say right now. He could have tried to stake his claim, but he didn’t. Like her, he was willing to wait for them, risk them, allow other things to be more important than them.