For Both Are Infinite (Hearts in London Book 1)

by Stephanie Alba

  Rhys looked away from the camera and directly at me, and instantly all the eyes in the room followed his direction. I wondered if I was also being shown on TV, and couldn’t wait to check my phone after his speech.

  Looking away Rhys continued, “There’s nothing like the West End. Anyone who has performed there can tell you, the crowds, the air, it’s just special. I’m grateful to so many, but I have to thank Michael for the chance, and I would be foolish not to thank University of London for their assistance in portraying it historically accurate. I want to thank the crew and cast, Noah, my family and The Queen’s Theatre. But I have to thank the person who taught me who Hamlet was because she also taught me about myself, how to love without limits, and she makes me the happiest man in the world. She knows who she is, and now probably the whole world will.” He looked at me with tears in his eyes and mouthed sorry, worried that I would panic. But I shook my head; that moment couldn’t have been tarnished.

  “I wouldn’t be here without her. I love you and now the whole world is sure of it.” He looked at me for a few moments and then back to the crowd. “Thank you again.”

  The cameras nearby panned in my direction and confirmed that I was on live television. If I had any doubts, my purse vibrating repeatedly on the table reduced them. There was a split second filled with fear and discomfort, but then I met his gaze on stage and it all melted away. He blew a kiss in my direction and headed backstage with Charlize and Michael.

  Noah sat in Rhys’ seat to keep me company for the three awards that he missed as he completed backstage interviews. In the meantime, I checked my phone and I didn’t know which text was better.

  Mom: OMG HE WON! You look amazing! He just said he loves you! When did this happen and why didn’t you tell me? Or was that the first time? CALL ME.

  Anne: “NOW THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS” WHY CAN’T I HAVE A MAN LIKE RHYS? Ellie, you look flawless! Also, he’d BETTER get Fassbender’s number, no excuses. Congrats to Rhys! Love you. Call me ASAP.

  James: Congrats to Rhys. Yes…I’m watching too. You look beautiful.

  I cracked up at how alike my mother and Anne were, and was touched to see support from James. What I really wanted was for Rhys to join me again because it felt like an hour had passed when it had only been twenty minutes.

  When he reappeared, Rhys kissed my cheek from behind and sat for the final award. He didn’t pay attention though, staring at me instead. Because we were still on air, we had to sit quietly, but our gaze said so many things. I wanted to tell him I was proud of him, that I loved him, and sensing it Rhys grabbed my hand and kissed it. I whispered, “I love you,” and he returned it just as hushed as I had.

  Hamlet didn’t win best production, but it didn’t matter because Rhys was on cloud nine. It took us an hour to get back to the car and once situated Rhys said, “Bruce, take us home.”

  “Home?”

  “Yes, darling…home.”

  “But, don’t you want to go to parties and celebrate?” I asked, holding up his award.

  “Nope. I just want to be with you.”

  “Rhys, this is your big night. Let’s celebrate.”

  “I will with you. After being surrounded by others all night, I’d rather like it to be just us again.”

  “You’re sure?” I asked, glad he was greedy with me, but I didn’t want him to regret it later.

  “Positive,” he smiled.

  “Okay.”

  On the drive home Rhys asked me if I was okay with his spontaneous declaration and I told him I was, that he was wonderful. I told him my mother had no knowledge of our declared love and that I’d have to explain that tomorrow, but other than that it was fine.

  “I meant everything I said up there.”

  “I know,” I whispered, and the ride took a quiet turn as we held each other’s hands. When we got home I saw Chinese food sitting on the counter that was still warm. I looked over at Rhys in speculation and he said, “I texted Bruce right after I won. I knew win or lose I wanted it to be just us.”

  “You’re crazy, but I love it,” I winked.

  ∞

  We went upstairs to change with the idea of watching a movie in bed. I again asked Rhys if he wanted to make an appearance at a party, but he continued insisting he was where he wanted to be. Once in his room, we both sat on the sofa and started taking our shoes off. He was successful, and looked over to see me struggling to reach my feet.

  “Here, let me help you,” he said, bending down on both knees before me.

  I was instantly swooning. Rhys had a gorgeous face and a supermodel’s physique, but I found him sexiest when he took care of me and showed how kindheartedly he loved me. He grabbed my left foot with one hand and desirably undid his bow tie with the other, giving me goose bumps. Then he removed the straps, slipped off my shoe and kissed the top of my foot.

  “Rhys,” I protested. “My feet aren’t clean, we’ve been out all night.”

  “Nonsense.” He continued with the other foot in the same manner. Rhys stood, pulled me up against him and hugged me for a moment. Despite staring at me all night, he still gazed at my face while his tongue slipped out and seductively wet his lips. I wanted his mouth on me, badly, and I wondered if he could tell. His hands slowly caressed my bare upper back and his fingertips grazed my skin, setting it on fire. When his hand slightly touched the edge of my zipper, I remembered that I couldn’t get out of the dress on my own. He continued with his loving strokes when I asked, “Do you think you could help me with the zipper? Maddie had to do it earlier.”

  Rhys nodded against my face as his hand stopped moving across my back. I turned around and pulled my hair aside, catching his eyes over my shoulder. I hoped he couldn’t see how flustered I was despite that I had noticed his intense expression. In the seconds of eye contact we shared, it was clear that I’d stunned him because he had never undressed me. I had always been the one to initiate it because he was too nervous.

  My skin became feverish when his shaking fingertips grazed my back above the zipper. The loud mechanical sound of it coming undone invaded the quiet space and joined our pounding hearts in an awkward song. I knew he could see my bra, and definitely my underwear that his fingers lightly brushed, and I hoped it wasn’t an accident. I wanted his silence to mean he was thinking the same thing I was, that he was equally wound up and affected by me. I loved Rhys so much it felt that at times we were one person and after all we’d surpassed I finally wanted to be with him in every way I could.

  Turning around slowly, I held the front of my corset up and was startled to see his eyes hooded with desire. They flushed my skin and made me warm, though he tried hiding it and failed miserably. Placing one hand against his sharp cheekbone, I stroked it and whispered, “Relax,” very close to his lips.

  I lingered there, contemplating if I was truly ready for my next move, and confirmed it by reacquainting our lips. Sighing, I removed my hands from my corset, wrapped them around his neck and touched his mouth lightly with my tongue. Arching my body into his, I could feel every inch of him, each muscle tense and stiff with desire.

  Rhys’ hands were at his sides, tentative and cautious until I grabbed them and put them on my waist. “Touch me,” I begged. He did, cautiously at first, but then it became forceful as he groped my back and butt, trying so hard to grab as much as he could and hold on as tightly as I’d allow. I wondered if he had caught on, or if he assumed it would end as it always did.

  Without separating our mouths, I began unbuttoning his shirt which proved difficult because my hands were shaking. Becoming aware of my attempts, he pulled away and asked, “Ellie, do you want me to take my shirt off?”

  I didn’t open my eyes to respond. “No, I want to undress you …completely.” I rejoined our lips so that he couldn’t ask any more questions that made me feel embarrassed, questions that made me worry he didn’t want it, words that might have filled me with regret. I felt him hesitate as I kissed him, but it was for a second and then he immediatel
y revived, passionately ignoring his apprehensions. After managing the final button, my hands rose up to the collar of his shirt and I kissed his neck as I lowered it off his shoulders. I stamped him with my plum lipstick, leisurely leaving my mark all over his skin.

  He stopped touching me again, clearly unsure as to what was and wasn’t acceptable, so I grabbed his hands and placed them on the sides of my corset to help me lower it. He pulled them off immediately, stuttering out, “Are you sure? We don’t have to do this.”

  “Do you not want to?” I panicked, my heart dropping clumsily against my ribs.

  “Darling, no,” he said squeezing my face in his hands. “I have for some time now, but I want you to be sure. I don’t want you to do it because you think I need it.”

  “Rhys, I love you. There’s nothing else I need to know.” I grabbed his face and he searched my eyes longingly, trying to read my expression for worry or doubt, but there was none. Against his mouth I said, “Rhys, I trust you,” and those were the only words he needed.

  He nodded, his lips lightly meeting mine with the movement and I couldn’t believe how unraveled and unkempt he was. His face was tight as he cocked his head processing what I wanted from him, and he realized that I was finally ready. With a deep breath, Rhys pulled me closer, kissing me so profoundly I felt it in my core. For seconds he stopped, his lips still so close I could still feel them on mine.

  Huskily he asked, “You’re sure? Once I start, I won’t be able to stop…”

  I hummed my approval, and he didn’t hesitate to unhook my bra one-handedly. I proceeded slipping his shirt off his arms, which allowed me to feel the exposed muscles that I loved so much. I had seen him without a shirt, and he was always beautiful, but the feel of his skin as I trailed my fingers over him was unreal. I traced his toned arms, his broad chest, and then slowly slid my hands to his belt buckle to feel him groan against my mouth. My adrenaline was already pumping so quickly, but his sound sent me into overdrive and it made the butterflies in my stomach exhilarated. I didn’t regret what we were doing, but I started fully understanding what it meant.

  He would be the only other man besides Aaron to see me naked. I knew I couldn’t have chosen a better man though, and I continued lowering his pants enough to feel the waistband of his underwear beneath my fingers. Rhys’ black boxer briefs were tightly straining against him and when his pants fell off his hips, I heard the buckle hit the soft rug surrounding his bed. He had simultaneously lowered my dress and we both stood before one another in just underwear.

  Though I had no reason to, I suddenly felt self-conscious and hugged my stomach in an effort to cover myself. Rhys took a step back and stared only into my eyes. “Ellie, do you want to stop?”

  “No,” I shook my head aggressively. “Don’t ask me again, I promise I’m okay.”

  He sighed and stepped closer. “Then don’t hide from me,” he said, reaching out his hand to me. “Let me see all of you.”

  I removed my hands from my abdomen and grabbed his while trying to appear relaxed, only to look at him and see how perfect every inch of his body was. He smiled sweetly and said, “There you are. You’re beautiful.”

  Rhys closed the distance and embraced me, pressing our bare chests to one another. It aroused us both to be that close, and since he was only wearing underwear it wasn’t difficult to notice. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of my thin, lacy underwear and began lowering them while maintaining eye contact. His stare was so carnal, but it also held adoration as he looked up at me. I’d seen those eyes say many things, but in those minutes where we undressed each other, just before everything changed, I saw desire and lust. Rhys had clearly wanted this for a long time, but was patient enough to wait till I could give it. Our eyes remained locked as he stood, giving me the impression he was in a trance, and I was the object of his hypnosis.

  I lowered his in similar fashion, except I stared at his feet because I was too shy to mimic his actions. Once we were both completely naked, I stood up and he lifted my gaze to his with his fingers under my chin. Rhys kissed my lips, barely at first, but then his whole mouth was over mine in a kiss filled with love, ownership, and desperation. His tongue flicked at mine, his affections leaving my feet clumsy and weak. I had to lean into him further for balance, pressing our skin together so closely, I could feel the slight sheen of sweat on him.

  Quickly, he lifted me up and carried me to the bed, lowering me slowly as he climbed above me. His hands were on every inch of my body as he continued kissing me gently, making my skin memorize the feel of his mouth and each line on his lips. Placing small love bites near my neck, he then trailed his lips down my chest, to my belly and eventually rushed back to my mouth again. For a moment he paused, just looking into my eyes and I freaked out. “What is it?”

  “Nothing,” he whispered back, placing his hips between my legs. “I just want to look at you.”

  He adored me with a slow perusal of my body, taking a mental image of me that night and storing it as a memory that changed everything. That night, I became his in a way I hadn’t been before. I allowed him a part of me that was rare, not just because I gave him my body and love, but because I trusted he would be in my life forever and he knew it. Neither of us said anything, but we continued kissing and then he leaned over me, positioned himself, and entered my body very slowly. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I nodded, but it still hurt physically since it had been two years since Aaron, and it hurt my heart a little too. I was saddened that the idea of Aaron and I being with only each other was over. Gone. A small part of me felt guilty that he had only been with me, and I was becoming someone else’s, but then as Rhys started to shift slowly in and out of me, I felt the sweetest joy that he was my everything, and made me feel loved unconditionally.

  He kept his eyes on mine the entire time, only closing them to kiss me on my lips, my chest, my neck, and even my ear as he whispered that he loved me. My eyes welled up and he felt my tears on my cheeks, pulling away to say, “Am I hurting you?”

  “No, I’m perfect.”

  “Why are you crying, love?”

  “Because this is so right with you. I didn’t think I’d have it again.”

  Rhys’ kisses became commanding against my mouth as if he was trying to tell me something. He stopped and leaned his head against my forehead. “I am so deeply in love with you.” He stirred our bodies together gently and the more he did, the less it hurt and the better it felt. “I hope you know, I don’t ever want to be without you… you’re the love of my life…” He stopped moving to assure he had my attention and forced me to meet his eyes. “I’m not saying this because we’re having sex. I have felt this for a long time…you know this.”

  “I know,” I whispered, turning my cheek into his hand and looking away shyly. Rhys pulled my eyes back to his.

  “But now that we are together in this way, I love you even more…not because it feels good, of course it does, but because you’ve given me every part of you. I’ll never be the same without you.”

  I stayed quiet, having no words I could reply with that would equal the love he had just expressed. Instead, I reciprocated by pressing my mouth to his and wrapping my legs around him tighter. He continued rocking against me, our lips forever joined as we held each other closely, but never close enough. His gentle, deep thrusts brought us both to climax and after, Rhys rolled us to our sides keeping us connected in every way.

  He devotedly rubbed his hand through my hair as I nuzzled into his chest.

  “Are you all right?” he whispered.

  “Yes,” I stared back. “You know, I’ll never be the same without you either. I’m not going anywhere…this is it for me.”

  “I know,” he said, turning over to turn out the light and returning to my side. I could still see his face in the moonlight splashing in when he asked, “Why tonight?”

  It caused me to smirk, and feeling a sudden bashfulness I hid my mouth with the covers. “Lots of reasons:
I love you without limit and know you feel the same. You’ve been so patient with me, but mostly because you won your award.”

  “What?” he jerked back in the bed. “Why would that change your mind?”

  “You don’t understand. You won something tonight, but I wanted you to understand I did too. You won your award, but you’re mine… life awarded me you, Rhys.” I paused, watching him process my explanation and then saw it sink in when his eyes watered.

  “You see, I’ve suffered through things that will stay with me forever. Sometimes it felt like a test, maybe from God or life, challenging me to move forward and be happy in spite of what I’d been through, and since that moment you started loving me, even before either of us knew we were loving each other, I realized life brought you into mine as a reward for pushing through all the bad days that I didn’t want to live through. You’re my reward for trying and I’m so glad I tried because I found you.”

  He didn’t respond and hugged me so close I could barely breathe. Rhys kissed my forehead in a way that demonstrated how much my words affected him and I thought I felt moisture against his eyes. He never said it, but I knew Rhys was proud of me. Not because we’d had sex, not for loving him, but because I had chosen to live and I chose to do it with him by my side. I put a lot behind me to move forward, but Rhys loved the idea of being next to me through it all.

  He fell asleep first, breathing deeply and louder, no doubt exhausted from the day’s events and our lovemaking. But I stayed awake for a while, unable to keep myself from smiling at the thought that I won twice in life, with Rhys and Aaron. I relived moments with Rhys from earlier, shyly remembering how wonderful he felt all over my skin, and looked forward to discovering more of his body and heart.

  ∞

  The sound of Rhys’ light snoring woke me as the sunlight entered his windows. He had been holding me tightly, which made it difficult to sneak to the bathroom before he awoke. We had woken up with morning breath before, but after the night we’d had I was concerned he would want to be overly affectionate the moment he saw me. I also wanted a minute to myself; to think, to breathe, to remember all the wonderful seconds we shared only hours before.