Orchard Hill Volume Three

by Kara Lynn Russell

  “Thanks.”

  ****

  Shaun walked. He wasn’t sure where he was going; he just knew that he had to move, to provide a nondestructive outlet for the out of control emotions careening through him. The faster he walked, the quieter his mind became, until he was almost running and silence reigned in his head.

  There was only so long he could keep up the pace. Finally he had to slow down and take a look around him. He realized he’d walked to the neighborhood that his boss, Joseph, lived in.

  Knowing that Joseph would be at his fiancée’s house next door, Shaun felt safe in plopping himself down on the porch to rest.

  As his body stilled, his mind stirred to life again. Patience had come back. But why hadn’t she told him she was coming? Actually, there was a lot she wasn’t telling him.

  Patience was pregnant. It hurt that she hadn’t shared that with him. It seemed his fate to be betrayed by the women he loved.

  He could remember exactly what his mother had said to him that day, word for word. “You’re a grown man, Shaun, with a wife of your own now.” He’d come to visit and found her packing her suitcase. “I’ve stayed with your father all these years for your sake. You’re old enough to know there’s someone else I love, and I want to be with him now.”

  The words echoing in his head covered the sound of Joseph’s footsteps. Shaun didn’t notice him until he sat down next to him..

  “Are you all right?”

  He was going to say “yes,” but stopped. That wasn’t really true. “I don’t know.”

  “Isaac called me at Harmony’s. He said he had a feeling you might show up here.”

  “What did he tell you?”

  “Just that something happened that upset you. You know Isaac doesn’t tell tales.”

  Shaun was certain that this God he was just coming to know had sent Joseph and Isaac to save him from himself. Joseph had been more of a father to him than his own, and Isaac the big brother he’d never had, as well as a mentor.

  “Want to come in and have some dinner?” asked Joseph.

  Shaun shook his head. “No thanks, I’m not in the mood for company. I just stopped here to rest.”

  “You want to talk?”

  Did he? It felt as if he’d talked more in the last few months than he had in his whole life.

  “Nah. I don’t know what to say right now.”

  “Is this about your parents and the holiday?”

  “Not really.”

  He was going to be a father. The thought jolted him. A father. What did that mean?

  With sudden clarity, he knew what he had to do. “But if you think Harmony could spare you for a little, could you give me a ride back to the church?”

  ****

  Patience thought she’d be too overwrought to actually fall asleep on Pastor Isaac’s couch, but the long drive had tired her out and she was able to doze for a little while. She was not so deeply asleep that she didn’t hear the office door open and close, but she didn’t respond, thinking it was one of her parents, coming in to check on her

  She heard a chair being pulled up, and someone sat down next to the couch. Great, she thought, they aren’t going away. How long could she pretend to be asleep?

  A hand, calloused and rough, gently brushed her hair back from her face. She would know that touch anywhere. Her eyes snapped open and she lunged into a sitting position. “Shaun!”

  They stared at each other for a few seconds and then Shaun moved from the chair and sat next to her on the couch. He held out his arms, and she went into them, intensely glad to be in his embrace again.

  After a few moments, Shaun cleared his throat and in a ragged voice he said, “I’m glad you came back.”

  “I’m sorry.” Everything she had to say tumbled out at once. “I didn’t want to leave, but things with you were so out of control, and I didn’t know how to help you. Then I found out about the baby, and I didn’t know what to do, how the news would affect you then....I didn’t mean to stay away for so long, but Aunt Elaine fell, and she needed me...I’m sorry.”

  “I’m the one who should be sorry. It was my behavior that drove you away. I can understand why you wouldn’t think I’d make a very good father.”

  She moved away from him just enough so that she could look into his eyes. “I never thought that. It’s just that you were already dealing with so much and this...a baby means a lot of big changes.”

  “Good changes.” He moved his hands from her back to her stomach. “I’m happy about the baby,” he said.

  Relief from one of her worries flooded through her, but Patience cautioned herself not to get her hopes up. This wasn’t over yet.

  “I want us to be together, but...I can’t raise a child with a man who’s perpetually angry.”

  “Like my father, you mean?” Shaun’s face set itself into grim lines.

  She didn’t want to answer that, so instead she asked, “Have things really changed? Like you said in your letter.”

  “Yes,” he answered with a firmness that warmed her heart. “And they’re about to get better. I hope. Will you go somewhere with me?”

  “Now? What about the dinner? I did volunteer.”

  “So did I, but Isaac said they have enough people. This is important.”

  “All right.” It wasn’t as though she wanted to spend the next few hours fielding questions from her well-meaning parents and friends. “Where are we going?”

  “To my mother’s house for Thanksgiving.”

  ****

  Shaun pulled up to his mother’s new home and shut off the truck’s engine. He took a deep breath. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he should turn around and go back to the church.

  Then he looked at Patience. He had to do this if there was to be any hope of saving his marriage and him being a part of his child’s daily life. His child.

  Shaun realized that he knew nothing about babies. This kid would be in real trouble if it was up to his father to keep him alive. “Did you take that class?” he asked abruptly.

  “What class?”

  “That parenting class in high school, did you take it? I wish I had.”

  Patience laughed. “No, I didn’t take it. We’ll buy a book or something.”

  “Maybe they have a class at the community college. You used to do a lot of babysitting. I don’t know anything about babies. I don’t even know how to change a diaper.”

  “I can show you. It isn’t that hard.”

  “But that’s just one thing. I don’t even know what there is to know about babies.” Shaun dropped his head to the steering wheel. “I’m gonna mess this up.”

  The sound of Patience’s laughter did not make him feel any better. “Did we come all the way over here to sit in your truck? Don’t you want to go in and see your mom?”

  “Mom, oh yeah. I almost forgot. The baby isn’t even here yet, and I’m already a wreck.”

  “I’m sure you’ll calm down before he’s born.”

  “He? is it a...”

  Patience shook her head. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to ask if you weren’t there. I mean, I didn’t know if you wanted to know or not.”

  “I do. When do you see your doctor again? Do you have to go back to your aunt’s still or can you see someone here?” He looked her in the eye. “You are going to stay, aren’t you?”

  “I want to. Let’s just see how this weekend goes.”

  Shaun nodded and retreated back into his thoughts. This morning he hadn’t been thinking beyond volunteering for the community dinner, and now he was trying to figure out all at once how to prove himself to Patience and how to be a father.

  She shook his arm. “Come on, Shaun. Your mom and her...friend know we’re here. They’re watching us through the window.”

  And the first step for both goals began with his mother. “All right. Let’s go in.”

  Before Patience could open her door he reached over and grabbed her hand. “Say a prayer for me, quick, Patience. I don’t t
hink I can do this alone.”

  Her head swung around to look at him. Her eyes were open wide in surprise. “You want me to say a prayer for you? Really?”

  Shaun nodded, but gave no other reply. He knew his newfound faith would gain points for him in her eyes, but right now he didn’t have the will or the wits to press that advantage. Instead of someone going to face his own mother and a man who actually seemed kind of nice, he felt like that guy, Daniel, going in to face the lions.

  Shaun would have much preferred Ellis to be a jerk.

  He said his own prayer in silence. Praying was too new and too personal for him to speak the words aloud. Then, he opened his door. “Let’s go.”

  Shaun hurried around to the passenger side to help Patience down. He didn’t usually observe this courtesy, but now that she was expecting, he thought she probably shouldn’t be leaping to the ground from her seat.

  She allowed him to lift her down, and then hand in hand they walked to the door of the small, rather saggy looking ranch style house that his mother now called home.

  In spite of the dread and anxiety this meeting was producing, he reveled in the feel of Patience’s hand in his. It had been a long time since he’d enjoyed this simple pleasure. He felt less alone with her fingers intertwined with his. The softness and warmth of her touch calmed him and boosted his courage.

  The door opened before they reached it, and his mother stood framed in the doorway, light spilling out from behind her. She was crying. Each tear caused a brief, sharp stab of guilt in Shaun. Anger quickly rose to replace it. Why should he feel guilty that she’d missed him? She’d created the situation, not him.

  Confused by the conflicting emotions, Shaun allowed her to hug him, although he couldn’t relax and hug her back. Patience did though, when it was her turn to receive his mother’s affections.

  “Come in, come in.” She wiped happy tears from her face. “Patience, you know Todd, don’t you?”

  “Yes, we’ve met before. How are you Mr. Ellis?”

  He was standing just outside their circle. “I’m fine, and you can call me Todd.”

  An awkward silence followed, and then Shaun’s mother offered to take their coats. Shaun reluctantly gave up his and then helped Patience remove hers. Shaun’s mother gave a gasp of surprise.

  “Patience, forgive me. When I hugged you, I thought you’d put on weight, and now I see why. Congratulations to you both. Todd, Patience is going to have a baby.”

  “I can see that,” he said gravely as he took the coats. “I’ll just hang these up.”

  His mother happily swept Patience off to the kitchen, chattering away about layettes and strollers and whatnot. Shaun found himself alone with Todd Ellis.

  When he’d decided to come he’d only thought about seeing his mother. He’d practically forgotten about Ellis, which seemed ludicrous now, but at the time, he’d been focused on what he needed to do. According to Isaac, that was to make peace with his mother. Did he have to extend forgiveness to Ellis as well?

  “Dinner should be ready soon,” the man said. “Why don’t we go sit down in the living room? I’m not much for football, but we can turn the game on if you want.”

  Shaun shrugged and followed him into the living room. Ellis sat in one of the easy chairs and indicated that Shaun should take the other one.

  He picked up the remote control, but didn’t turn the television on. “So you’re going to be a father.”

  “Looks like it.” Shaun sat on the edge of his seat, acutely uncomfortable. He’d rather be having his teeth filled without the benefit of anesthetic than to try to make polite conversation with this man.

  “I’ve never had the honor myself,” Ellis continued, staring at the remote in his hand rather than looking at Shaun. “Until your mother came along, I was a dedicated bachelor.”

  Shaun had nothing to say to that.

  “All I had was my work, which isn’t much of anything when you get right down to it.”

  “I guess not.”

  “Your mother’s a good woman.” Ellis suddenly looked up, pinning Scott with a straight stare. “If your father would have shown her any hint of affection at all, she would have stayed with him. She spent years trying to find some sign that he cared about her. It’s his own fault she left.”

  “I know that,” admitted Shaun. “But she still lied to me.”

  “She tried to protect you.”

  Shaun snorted. “That didn’t really work out, did it?” He rose, turned his back on the older man, and stared out the window. “Let’s talk about something else.” Anything else, please.

  A heavy, uncomfortable silence settled over the two men. Shaun continued to stare out the window at absolutely nothing.

  “I understand you work construction.”

  “Yeah, I work with Joseph Velasquez.”

  “I built my share of houses in my day, until arthritis in my knees got the better of me. I can’t do all that climbing around anymore. Now, I just work on cabinetry.”

  Shaun had never been curious enough about this man to ask what he did for a living. “You build cabinets?”

  “I did the ones in the kitchen here. Do you want to see?”

  “Sure.” Anything was better than sitting around here.

  ****

  In the kitchen, Patience tried to help her mother-in-law, Jenny, finish making Thanksgiving dinner. It was a little difficult since she didn’t know where anything was, but she managed. Matters became more complicated when the men came in to examine the cabinets Todd had made and crowded the small area. Patience watched Shaun while she mashed the potatoes. He was stiff and ill-at-ease, which didn’t surprise her. The fact that he was actually talking to his mother’s boyfriend did surprise her. How much could a person change in four months? Was this new, calmer Shaun real, or was this only an image he was holding together for just long enough to bring her back?

  “Patience, honey,” Jenny, said, “those have got to be the smoothest mashed potatoes ever. You can stop pounding on them.”

  Patience looked down. Lost in thought, her hands had worked on without instruction from her head. “Sorry. I guess I was daydreaming.”

  Jenny laughed. “I was that way when I was expecting Shaun. I think it’s part of that whole pregnancy hormones thing.”

  “Right.” Patience didn’t think this was true in her case, but she didn’t want to explain herself. She put the potato masher in the sink.

  Jenny handed serving bowls to both men. “I think we’re ready. Since you two are here, you can help carry everything to the table.”

  A little bustle and confusion, and then the feast was ready and waiting to be eaten. They seated themselves around the small dining room table. Jenny had made so much food there was hardly enough room for their plates. She’d set up a TV tray on one side of her to hold the serving dishes that didn’t fit on the table.

  “Mom, you didn’t have to do all this,” Shaun told her. “It looks like you were expecting an army.”

  She grew teary-eyed again. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you in months. It had to be special.”

  “But I told Ellis, I mean Todd...”

  The older man smiled at him. “I knew you’d come.”

  Shaun thought about how disappointed his mother would have been if he hadn’t come, and was suddenly very glad he’d made this decision. He was still angry with her and still convinced she’d done a lot of things wrong, but he did love her.

  “Should...should we say grace?” suggested Patience.

  “Yes, let’s,” Jenny answered.

  Everyone looked at Todd, but he stared back at them blankly. “Shaun, why don’t you start?” he finally suggested.

  “I’m not very good at that,” he mumbled.

  Patience remembered that he’d written about how he didn’t have the words to express his faith yet, and wanting to encourage him, she reached over and took his hand. His fingers tightened around hers. “It doesn’t have to be a speech,” she told him.
“Just say what comes into your heart, Shaun.”

  He closed his eyes, and was silent for many moments. Jenny and Todd closed their eyes also, but Patience couldn’t stop looking at Shaun. She’d always been certain that he had a good heart. Had he really given it to God? She held her breath and waited for him to speak.

  “Heavenly Father, we thank you for the food that you’ve given us and for...for the people who are gathered here together...especially the new life that Patience carries.”

  He opened his eyes as if he were finished, but then suddenly closed them again. “We...we thank you for the continuous grace and mercy you extend to us. Please help us all to follow your example and lead us to healing and wholeness.”