Finding the Magic

by Cait Miller

  That only made the chase better.

  Before he could consider that consequences of that notion, the computer chimed to let him know his mail was ready. Anticipation pushed his heart into his throat as he spied a familiar sender. Quickly he opened it and scanned the note, tears stung his eyes as he read the word “alive”. As promised, there were directions included for Nick’s whereabouts. The location was vaguely familiar, a few hours’ drive from here and isolated. It could be a trap. Cameron knew that but, lord, he wanted to believe it. Hope crept in despite his attempt to remain skeptical. He printed off the e-mail, grabbing the page and heading for the library to find a map.

  As he reached the foot of the stairs Jayne stepped into his path, her determined expression changing to curiosity when she looked at his face.

  “What is it?” Her gaze fell on the page in his hand. “You heard something.”

  “Aye.”

  He wanted to pull her into his arms, share his hope and his fears with her. Instead he brushed past her, hearing her fall into step behind him. She bombarded him with relief and hope and worry and excitement. Emotion on top of emotion until he couldn’t distinguish them. Until he couldn’t tell which were hers and which were his anymore. From the first moment they met, he had been more aware of Jayne’s emotions than her thoughts and apparently the bond had intensified the empathy. He had known that the Ceangal could take that direction. He just hadn’t expected the effects to be so strong yet. Doing his best to block it, he led the way into the library.

  He wasn’t surprised to find the large, comfortable room already occupied. As was his custom, Fynn was sprawled in one of the armchairs by the fireplace reading. He glanced up as they entered and closed the paperback and laid it facedown on his leather-clad knee.

  “I have a location, I need a map.”

  “On the table.” Cameron had spent too long around Fynn to be surprised that he already had the appropriate map ready. The man sometimes just knew things, though he didn’t always know why. It had to be frustrating as hell but there were times when Cam suspected he enjoyed being a mysterious bastard. He was just thankful that Jayne seemed to have missed the significance. They didn’t need any more complications. The other man stood, leaving the book on the seat and turned his pale eyes on Jayne briefly. “Congratulations. I’ll get the rest of the guys. We’ll wait in your office.”

  She waited silently until the door closed. “Is that a romance?” she asked incredulously and picked up Fynn’s book. “It is. The scary, quiet guy reads romances? I feel a whole lot less intimidated now.”

  “I wouldnae,” he warned. “And please, dinnae mention it to him. I havnae got time to clean up the mess.”

  “Okaaaay.” She put the book back on the chair. “Does everyone know what happened last night?”

  He slowly opened the door to her emotions again, feeling her curiosity, her embarrassment and an undercurrent of desire.

  But no fear.

  Something inside him eased at the realization and he shrugged. “They can feel the difference in me. And even if they couldnae, Ciaran and Jon would have told the rest. They need to know, the Ceangal is unpredictable.” He lowered his eyes. “So am I when it comes to my mate, if anythin’ were to threaten you…it’s a weakness at the moment.”

  “Cam, I need to explain about this morning.” He started to speak and she shook her head and moved to stand in front of him. “I won’t wait any longer… I wasn’t afraid of you.” He gave a short laugh, rich with disbelief. “Fine, I was, but it’s not every day you come out of the bathroom and find an enormous lion in front of you! And let me tell you, you’re a big cat! It kind of causes an immediate reaction, I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t even know if you would recognize me!” She put her hand on his chest and he felt the contact all the way to his toes, her sincerity washed through him. “I’m sorry. Apparently I’m not as open-minded as I thought I was.”

  “Ah did recognize you.” Cameron’s accent thickened from the heat of her touch. “Ah’ll always recognize you, no matter what form I take. So does the cat, he won’t hurt you.”

  “So he is different from you?”

  “He’s a part of me…but during the Ceangal, he gets stronger and my ability to control him is weakened. No matter what happens from here on, Jayne, Ah’m never goin’ to be the same again. Either he’ll win control—or I will—but either way, he’s always goin’ to be nearer the surface. If you cannae accept that then tell me now, before things go any further.”

  “You mean before you finish what you started. You should have told me about completing the bond, Cam. You have to know I would never have let you risk your humanity like this.”

  He scowled at her. “I’m going to kill those two. It’s just…after this morning…Ah wanted to give you a little more time. Ah wanted you to be able to make your decision without worryin’ about me.”

  The need to touch her surged again as she frowned at him and this time he gave in to it. Caressing her cheek with his fingertips and cupping her face in his hand. He smoothed his thumb over the softness of her lips and she parted them to take it into her mouth, sucking gently. Cam groaned as his cock surged to life.

  “Cameron, let’s go, pal!” Ciaran’s voice echoed down the hall.

  Reluctantly, he drew away from her. “I have to go, we need to make a plan so that they can move quickly.”

  “They? You’re not going with them?”

  “No, Ah’m not leavin’ you here alone. Besides, we have unfinished business of our own.”

  “You should go, he’s your friend. I’ll be fine.”

  “Ah will not leave you unprotected!”

  “Then let one of the others stay, Cam… If this was Megan, I know I’d want to be there to rescue her.”

  “You’re right, Ah do. But Ah trust the team to get Nick out safely. Right now Ah need to be here with you, Jayne.”

  He kissed her gently and picked up the map.

  “Cam?” He stopped. “I’ve had enough time.”

  Jayne watched him stride out of the room again, only this time on two legs instead of four. Lord, he was frustrating. Why did men have to make things more complicated than they were? Why couldn’t he get it into his head? She had made her decision last night and she wasn’t going to change her mind, certainly not because she got a little bit of a surprise. Maybe he just needed a little positive reinforcement. There was no reason she couldn’t continue with her plans from this morning. After all, Cam was certain to need some distraction since he was going to be stuck here with her. She didn’t think he could have eaten yet, not when she was chasing him all over the house like a bizarre reverse game of cat and mouse.

  The kitchen was filled with the delicious scent of a roast cooking, though Mary was nowhere to be seen. Jayne started searching cupboards and fridge for suitable supplies. She wrinkled her nose in mingled sympathy and distaste when she came across one filled with high-protein, high-calorie meal substitutes. If that was what he had been living on, she was definitely going to make sure he never had to look at them again. No one should be subjected to that.

  “Good afternoon, Jayne, pet.”

  Jayne turned toward the voice, automatically hiding the can of whipped cream in her hand behind her back. “Mary, hi!”

  The housekeeper smiled. “Too late, love, I already saw it and your reaction tells me everything I need to know about what you intend to do with it. That poor boy isn’t going to know what hit him. Congratulations, by the way.”

  Jayne silently cursed her fair complexion as she felt her cheeks heat. It was like being caught naked by her boyfriend’s mother. Of course, it could be worse, she could actually be naked. “Oh lord, can’t we just pretend you have no idea what’s going on?”

  “Where’s the fun in that?” She grinned and her expression turned wistful. “David, Rianne’s father, loved to play.”

  “What happened to him?” Jayne shook her head, seeing the sadness on the other woman’s face. “I’m sor
ry, you don’t have to answer that.”

  “Och, it’s fine, love, it was a long time ago… He was killed in an accident when Rianne was very young. I was a nurse at the time and found myself alone with a young child. I couldn’t keep up with the demands of working in a big hospital and I found I wanted to spend more time with my daughter. The job here was a godsend. I even got to work one or two days a week at the local clinic. I still do as a matter of fact, I’m going there this afternoon.” She smiled, shrugging off the memories of the past and took the can of cream. “We can do much better than that.”

  She rummaged through another cupboard and handed Jayne two plastic bottles. She eyed the contents with amusement, chocolate sauce and honey. “Does Cam have a sweet tooth?”

  “He certainly used to before and now he has his Dearbh Ceangal, I imagine he will again.” She produced a small picnic basket from another cupboard and put a bottle of soda from the fridge inside then turned to take the roast beef from the oven.

  “Derav Kea al. Cameron said that the first night we arrived, what does it mean? I know the second part means bond.”

  Mary quickly masked her frown and began buttering thick slices of bread for sandwiches. “I think that is something Cameron should talk to you about, dear.” She held up a hand as Jayne opened her mouth to protest. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad but it’s something he’ll talk to you about when he’s ready. Now, why don’t you take this upstairs, they shouldn’t be too much longer. His room would be best, yours is just too white.” She stopped.

  Before she could utter another word, Jayne found herself ushered out of the door, picnic basket in hand.

  Chapter Eleven

  The sleek, muscular lines of the big cat seemed to flow from the charcoal as Jayne pictured him in her mind’s eye. It felt so good to be drawing again. Why had she stopped? It seemed impossible now that she had let herself retreat from the world the way she had. She had Cameron Murray to thank for giving her back her life. Okay, and maybe Jack and Megan a little too. If Jack hadn’t sought out Megan, Jayne would probably still be in the same little rut. Stuck in a job she hated, avoiding her boss’s groping hands. Going home at night to sit with her nose in a book while her paints gathered dust under the bed and life passed her by. It looked as if Cam and she were birds of a feather—or cats of a fur?—in that one. They both had their reasons for stepping away from other people. Although, admittedly, Cam’s reasons made hers look a little superficial.

  Distantly, she heard doors closing and engines rumble to life as Cam’s friends left and looked around to make sure everything was ready. It was time to lay everything out in the open. Enough secrets. She had spread a plaid blanket on the thick blue-gray carpet in his bedroom and set out the sandwiches and drinks. Everything else she had left in the basket near at hand. Jayne set aside the sketchpad and leaned back against the foot of the oak bed. The edges of Cam’s soft cotton robe parted around her bare legs and she smiled in anticipation. She had expected him to call out for her so it was a surprise when moments later the bedroom door opened.

  “Hi. How did you know I was here?”

  His eyes swept over her, lingering on her legs before moving back to her face. An uncertain smile kicked up the corner of his mouth.

  “I’ll always know where you are,” his eyes flicked toward the blanket and the picnic, “and I followed my nose.”

  She studied him, intrigued. “Literally? You mean like a bloodhound?”

  He frowned at her and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “Please, I’m much better than any canine.”

  “How could you possibly smell these sandwiches over the scent of the roast in the kitchen?”

  “Who said anything about the sandwiches?”

  “Are you saying I stink?”

  “I’m saying you smell wonderful, like fresh spring air. I’d recognize your scent anywhere.” After a moment’s hesitation, he sat cross-legged on the blanket opposite her. “What’s all this in aid of?”

  “It’s a celebration, didn’t we just get engaged last night?”

  He studied her a moment, head tilted as though listening to voices she couldn’t hear. Uncertainty was replaced by relief. “I guess we did. But there are things you don’t know yet, things you havenae seen.”

  Happiness swept through her along with a relief of her own. “I know, and that is going to change right now. I am tired of being the only one not in on the secret.”

  His stomach growled loudly and Jayne laughed at his embarrassment. “But while you talk, why don’t you eat.” She smiled at him. “You’re going to need the energy, we both have a lot of time to make up for and I have plans.”

  He paused in the act of reaching for the plate and looked at her, eyes hot. “Ah can eat later.”

  “Nuh-uh. Eat and talk, mister. You can start with your parents and then tell me about the Dearbh Ceangal.”

  He sat back, sandwich in hand and Jayne was sorry to see his face had resumed its usual somber lines. As fond as she had grown of his frown, she really wanted to see less of it, but there was time for that.

  “There isn’t much to tell,” he said matter-of-factly. “My mother hated my father, was terrified and disgusted by what he was. By what he made her. When I was fifteen, she killed herself to escape it.”

  “Oh, Cam…” Her heart bled for the angry young boy who looked out of his eyes. At last, Jayne understood why he was so reluctant to believe she wanted to stay with him. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for the woman who had felt that her only way out was to take her own life but she also knew it was also an unbelievably selfish thing to do to your family. She watched as Cam ate a few bites of the sandwich, giving him time to gather his thoughts. A few moments passed in silence before he spoke again.

  “When one half of a bonded couple dies the other often follows. They stop eatin’, withdraw into themselves. Stop livin’. Eight months after my mother died, my father died too, pinin’ for a woman who couldnae stand the sight of him.”

  She wanted to go to him, pull him into her arms but she knew he wouldn’t welcome it. “I’m sorry, Cameron.”

  “What for, you didnae kill them.” He finished the sandwich and sat back. “So, now you know my sad story and you know why it’s so important to me that you understand exactly what you’re getting into. I didnae—don’t—ever want to do to someone else what he did to her.”

  His jaw clenched with an anger and pain that Jayne understood all too well. She rose and went to kneel behind him, kneading the tension from his shoulders. “I never told you about my father.”

  “I know that he was killed.”

  “Then you know the official ruling. He loved my mother more than anything else in this world and when she died he just…slid into a whiskey bottle and disintegrated. He left a note, I still have it.” It still hurt, she discovered, but not in the way that it had. Cameron swore and his hand came up to grasp hers, where it had grown still on his shoulder. He drew her around and onto his lap, holding her in his arms. The warmth of his body surrounded her and she felt comforted. “He drove into that bridge deliberately, the same one that killed my mother. I never told anyone the truth, not even Megan, though I’m sure she suspects.” She shook off the ghosts of the past, determined not to let them drag her back into the place she had been before and lightened her tone. “It looks as though we have more in common than we realized…which brings me to my second question, the DearbhCeangal.”

  He looked at her from under lowered brows and went along with her change of subject. “Where did you hear that anyway?”

  “From you, the first night we arrived you muttered it in your sleep. But I still don’t know what it means. It obviously meant something to Mary though. She was thrilled when she heard you.”

  “I bet she was,” he muttered. “The DearbhCeangal…it means the proven bond. I didnae want to believe a DearbhCeangal could exist because it makes what my father did to my mother all the worse. I told you how we recognize our mate
but there’s more to it. Aye, we recognize our mates by the birthmark, by scent and by the mental link. The connections that are formed are usually based on purely physical attraction, animal instinct. My parents had that kind of bond…it’s taken me a long time to accept that. A proven bond is different, it exists only between true mates—a couple who are a perfect match.”

  Jayne’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Us? You mean you and me?” She sat up and he winced and shifted her slightly.

  “Aye, you and me. Imagine my surprise at finding you at my best friend’s wedding.”

  She sighed. “Is that why you brought me here?”

  “No. I brought you here because I believed you were in danger and that’s still true. I think that whoever has Nick may be the person who gave James York his information about Jack and Megan. I believe that person is now after you and me. They are targetin’ shapeshifters and women who have the birthmark.” He explained how he had found the pattern among the missing people. She had to agree with him that it was a little too much for coincidence. “That’s why I sought you out. The fact that you were my Ceangal had very little to do with it—at least that’s what I told myself.”

  “But how did you know?”

  “It was hard to miss. Remember in the kitchen when I let you feel the energy of the bond?”

  She nodded. “It was like pins and needles on my hand.”

  “That was a very small taste of the energy of the DearbhCeangal. What we feel is a hundred times stronger. I could feel it as soon as you walked into the church for the wedding and continued to feel it until we bonded.”

  “Well…that certainly explains why you were so determined to avoid me. It had to be uncomfortable, maybe even painful.” She wasn’t sure how she felt about the fact that her presence had caused him pain.

  “No, no’ painful, it’s no’ unpleasant. It’s more like a tingling sensation, an intense awareness that your fìorcèile, true mate, is nearby.” He stroked her arm with his fingertips, making goose bumps shiver over her body. “I avoided you because Ah couldnae even be in the same room without wantin’ to be near you, wantin’ to be a part of you. Ah still can’t.”