"Ummm, I'm well, Amy. It's nice to see you."
Amy looked over at Roger who was scowling at the man standing next to her. Daniel Gordon and Amy had been high school sweethearts and I wasn't surprised to see him by her side still. He had been as good a friend to me as Amy had been for all those years and the curiosity in his expression alerted me of his need to start asking the questions that Amy was too polite to ask.
"As you can see," Roger sighed, "Arianna and I are trying to enjoy our dinner. Maybe you can catch up some other time."
Daniel's expression dropped. He didn't like the sound of that and his quick glance at me showed enough concern to make Roger even more suspicious.
I had no idea that Amy had moved at all. She was the last person I would expect to see tonight, but Roger wouldn't care. He only saw what he wanted to see and whatever it was didn't bode well for me.
"Goodnight, Amy. Daniel." I turned back to my untouched food and kept my head down while they hesitantly walked away.
"Did you tell them to meet you here?" Roger asked, too calm.
"No, honey. I had no idea they were going to be here. I thought they still lived -"
"Sure. Finish your meal."
I flinched at the harshness he never hesitated to show me. He dug into his food and stewed and I willed myself to remain casual about the whole encounter. It was difficult trying to force every muscle in my body to hold still, exhausting trying to keep the tears behind my eyes where they needed to stay.
"I know you spoke ill of me to her. That's why they don't like me. Never have because of you and your lies."
I kept my mouth shut. I had learned there was no use arguing, it would only make the situation worse.
He didn't speak again for a few minutes until the waitress checked on us. His flirting was more aggressive and as the waitress kept looking down at me to see my reaction, I forced myself to keep my eyes on my plate while I pushed the food around with my fork.
It seemed to take forever for him to finish his meal, yet not long enough. I needed more time. I needed the hostess or the waitress to read my mind and distract Roger for just a moment.
"Go to the ladies' room, Arianna, and freshen up. You're pale and I want you pristine tonight."
"Yes, of course, honey."
I stood a little too quickly, forgetting my napkin on my lap which fell softly and quietly to the floor. I looked at Roger who was staring at the hostess once more as she led another couple, a happy couple, to a table nearby.
My relief made me dizzy. He hadn't seen the napkin fall and I didn't dare bend to pick it up and bring attention to my mistake.
My heels clicked on the tile floor of the restaurant as I made a path to the back where I hoped the restrooms were. With the door in sight, my steps quickened.
"Ari."
I stumbled and reached out to catch myself on the wall next to the restroom door. A hand wrapped around my elbow and I whipped around to see Daniel and Amy looking scared and determined.
"Amy, I can't talk right now, I'm sorry."
"I don't give a shit. What the fuck is going on? Why does it feel like you need my help?"
"I don't."
"Ari." Daniel kept his grip on my elbow and gently pulled me out of sight from the rest of the patrons. "That man is not safe. If you need our help…"
"I- I… I'm just…"
Amy's eyes pleaded with me to say the words I knew with every fiber of my being I needed to say. What would happen to them if they knew? Would Roger find a way to condemn them as well?
Footsteps coming closer to the small area we were standing in quickly alerted me to the possibility that Roger saw them confront me.
Courage and determination I had never felt before made its way to my voice. "I'm just fine. Just a little tired from last night. We were celebrating his promotion and he was thorough, if you know what I mean."
The fake giggle that left my throat was just that. Fake. They knew it, I knew it, and Roger - who was rounding the corner - knew it.
"Let's go, Arianna."
His grip on my other elbow wasn't as warm and gentle as Daniel's had been and I made the mistake of flinching.
"Hey, asshole! We were talking -"
"Amy," Daniel said gently and released me. His eyes locked on mine briefly and I knew what he was trying to say.
The same thing everyone tried to say.
"Just ask for help."
I stepped into Roger's body and smiled weakly. "It was good to see you both. Best wishes."
"Ari…"
I turned my attention to Roger since I didn't see my friend's lips move to call my name. The voice was soft once more and it only took a glance to know that it actually hadn't been Roger.
"She wants to wake up, Jack. Just give her some time."
Jake.
My sweet, loving brother.
Help me, Jake.
"I should have never left. I should have -"
"Stop. She won't blame you. None of us do. Straighten your head out because she'll need you whole when she opens her eyes."
A shot of pain made its way up my arm and into my neck. I tried to cry out, but all I could do was follow an angry Roger out to the car.
"Arianna, if I didn't know any better, I would say you had some different plans tonight." Roger growled as we pulled out of the parking lot. "I believe you didn't expect to see them, however, I can't help but think that you have some hidden feelings for that man back there. Did you fuck him behind Amy's back? Are you planning to fuck him in the future? Because I'll tell you right now, it's not going to happen."
"Roger, I swear to you -"
"Yes, you do. It doesn't matter, though. You need to understand that I am the only man that will ever take you. The only one that will ever accept you. I'll prove it to you as soon as we're home."
Dread.
Fear.
Terror.
None of those words could fully explain what I felt in that moment. This night had changed everything.
Roger was taking things to the next level and I had no way to stop it. I would have to endure like I always did. I would have to wait longer for the chance to get out of his grasp. I would have to prepare myself.
But nothing could have prepared me for what would happen once we got home.
I could still feel the cold bite of the large serrated bread knife against my skin as he held me down and tried to decide where to start the cut.
"I'll be the only one to accept you after this, Arianna. Because it's my mark. You'll never forget who you belong to."
Searing pain, warm liquid, and the bruising press of his knee at the center of my back… all those sensations washed over my skin as Roger did what he had told me he would. Ruined me and made his permanent mark on me.
It wasn't all horrifying.
Strange, I know. But there was a moment of triumph as he marred my skin with that knife. I fought back and destroyed his careful plans. The three glasses of scotch he had guzzled the moment we arrived at the house helped.
It was a small joy to know that his mark wasn't exactly what he wanted it to be. It was the first time I knew that I still had some inkling of control.
I could fight back.
I could survive.
His path toward my breast was altered and the pain stabbing into my shoulder blade didn't dull the victory.
Still, I screamed.
I took what control I had and held it close as I pushed out the final sounds my strained vocal chords could attempt. My eyes caught on the shiny object lying on the floor in front of me. My keys, still on that keychain Jack had given me so long ago. The picture of the northern lights so clear, I could almost imagine that I was there at that exact moment. My final thought before the pain took me under was that I had always belonged to Jack and no one could ever change that.
"I'll never be yours," I shouted with the last of my strength and felt trails of blood slowly trickle over my skin. "I'll never be yours."
"Ari! We're he
re. Calm down. Jake, get the nurse!"
That calming warmth was back on my arm, on my face, my neck, in my hair. I knew without seeing it that Jack was trying to calm me with his touch any way he could. His fingers frantically searched for the one place that would find me again.
"Ari, sweetheart, please wake up. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. Come back to me, baby. You're safe now."
The buzzing in my head was back, pulling me into the memory once more, but I fought against it. I wasn't going back to that night again. I was going to stay here, wherever I was, with Jack and my brother.
My heavy eyelids flickered as I willed them to open. I didn't feel the pain anymore, in fact, I felt numb all over. That was all the warning I needed.
This time had been bad.
"That's it, baby. Open those beautiful eyes for me. Let me see them."
I got one opened. The other, apparently hopeless since it was swollen shut. Jack stood over me, his face tight with anxiety, but just as glorious as ever. His eyes were bloodshot and he was pale, the only color on his face from the shadow of a beard.
How long have I been here?
"Jack?"
"Hey, beautiful."
His blue green eyes brightened a little bit and his smile made the memories of that night a thing of the past.
"She's awake?" Jake's voice came from the doorway and then he was over me, too.
"Yeah, just give her a minute," Jack said softly, his eyes never leaving mine. His hands engulfed one of mine and he pressed his lips to my knuckles. The buzz that ran over my body from his touch was the only thing I could actually feel.
A nurse walked into the room and forced Jake and Jack to stand aside as she checked me over.
"The doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes. Drink only sips of water and just be still. Your body has been through hell, dear."
"How... how long..." My throat burned with every breath I took and I couldn't get the words out.
"Two days," the nurse answered with a sad smile.
I shut my eye before the fear of seeing that night over again came rushing back to me and I immediately opened it again.
"What happened?" I asked weakly after Jack held a cup of water up to my lips and helped me sip.
The nurse shook her head and I caught a tremble in her lips. "I'll give you all some time and be back with the doctor." She rushed out of the room with her hand over her mouth and I wanted to tell her I was okay. That I would be okay.
But I wasn't even sure I believed it myself.
Jake came to my side and held my hand as he sat on the bed next to my hip, mindful of my IV line and the wires and tubes on the bed. He must have seen the panic on my face. "Take a minute, sis. Get your bearings and we'll explain everything."
Jack held my other hand, both men surrounding me like brick walls. If anyone even dared come close, they were there to stop them.
"Tell me," I said, my voice scratchy and the dryness in my mouth making me cringe.
Jake held up the glass of water with a straw and helped me sip again. When I was done, I waited for them to start speaking.
"I got the call from Sean," Jack said gravely, his eyes bleak and his voice breaking on the words. "He said that a call came through on the radio. He said the dispatcher could hear screaming and that your name was screamed. He was on his way, but he was minutes out."
"Jesus, Ari. We didn't hear anything. We were closed up in Jack's office on the other side of the building," Jake said and he squeezed my hand.
"We came as fast as we could. Once we got the door open, you were already unconscious and..." Jack's lips curled into a fierce snarl before he continued. "That fucking son of a bitch was on top of you."
"If Sean hadn't been right behind us..." Jake growled.
It was then that the doctor walked into the room and started asking me questions. Jake and Jack sat back in their chairs but both of them refused to leave and I didn't want them to.
"How are you feeling, Ms. West?"
I shifted in the bed and cringed at the pain running over my body. I was grateful that I had slipped into unconsciousness when I did. I didn't want the images of Roger's insanity running through my mind.
"I'm in pain, but I'm alive," I said, my throat burning with each word.
Jake helped me drink some more water and Jack held my hand.
"Well the good news is that there is nothing broken. I don't know how much these boys have told you yet, but they found you in time," he stated with a nod and I understood what he meant.
Roger didn't have the chance to do any worse than give me a few cuts and bruises. My relief was palpable and I felt Jack's hand move up my arm as he leaned forward on the bed, getting closer in case I needed him.
"The police will be returning today to get a statement. In the mean time, rest and relax. You're safe here."
He left the room a minute later after updating my chart on the computer. Jake was silent while Jack helped me adjust to a more comfortable position in the bed. Once I was settled, though, he said what was on his mind.
"Why did you stay, Ari? You risked your life to protect me and I'm grateful, but I'm so fucking mad at you, too."
"You would have done the same thing, Jake."
"That's different. I'm not a woman up against a man three times my size. You spent three years with that bastard. Three years being..." He shook his head and walked across the room. I could feel the anger radiating off of him, but I wasn't afraid.
"I'll heal, Jake. I couldn't watch you go to prison and I won't let it happen to either of you."
"I'm going to fix this," he stated when he turned to face me. "I'm going to make sure that fucker doesn't ever get out from behind bars. That or make sure he never breathes another day in his life without the help of a respirator."
We watched my brother walk out of the room, both of us knowing there wasn't a damn thing we could say to convince him to stay. He needed some space, some time to think. A bomb had been dropped on him and Jake was already teetering off the edge.
I felt Jack's eyes on me and it took effort to turn towards him. He looked broken and hopeful all at once and it made the pressure on my chest heavier.
Jack's warm fingers engulfed my hand and his thumb caressed my pulse point over my wrist sending a pleasant heat up my arm. I swear I could be falling to the earth with no parachute and his touch would calm me.
"You need to rest, Ari. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"
"Where is he now?"
"Sweetheart, I don't -"
"Jack," I warned him.
He sighed and dropped his head to press his lips to my palm. "Sean left not too long ago, said the prick made bail. How? I have no idea, but he did."
"So, he's out there somewhere?"
He pressed his lips together and his face paled slightly.
My heart beat frantically and the pain in my body flared with each heavy breath I took.
Fear.
I was afraid again and I hated it with every fiber of my being, but it was like a tick that had burrowed under my skin. No matter what you do, there was no way to yank it out without consequences.
My fear was embedded into my mind and this time there was no forcing it out.
"Please get me out of here."
Jack's brow furrowed with confusion. "Ari, baby, you need to be here. You are still really weak and I -"
"Please, Jack! I'm scared. He finds me, he always finds me. He'll finish what he started and nothing is going to stop him."
"Not while I'm breathing. You don't have to be afraid."
"Please, take me home."
Jack sat there, still as a brick wall for a few minutes before sighing and stating firmly, "I'll take you home with me. My home is your home now."
He left me in the room for under a minute while he walked across the hall to the nurses desk and told them we were leaving. When he walked back in, a wide eyed nurse was right behind him telling him that they didn't advise it and that we needed to stay a little
longer until the doctor felt it was okay.
Jack ignored her and helped me remove the IV before he helped me dress.
When the nurse didn't stop talking he turned to her and held his hands in the air for her to stop. "My sister is a doctor. She will be able to take care of anything minor and I'll bring her back at the slightest sign of something serious."
The nurse shook her head, but tears were now falling down her cheeks. Her eyes locked with mine when Jack lifted me into his arms.
"I'm so sorry this happened, sweetheart. Don't let it ruin you. Don't let him take what's left."
"Thank you," I whispered and burrowed into Jack's chest as he walked out of the room.
He kissed my forehead and spoke into my hair. "You're not fighting alone, Ari. I'm fighting with you."
Chapter Fourteen
"Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how"
Imagine Dragons 'Demons'
A Ricochet
Have you ever savored that special moment between asleep and awake? That moment where reality hasn't touched your mind quite yet and your body feels heavy and light at the same time. That moment where nothing can touch you, nothing can destroy the peace that you feel right then.
It only lasts seconds. Minutes if you're lucky.
It used to be my favorite moment. The only time that I felt invincible, unreachable by anyone who may want to hurt me. Empty minded.
It doesn't last, though. It never lasts. No matter how much you fight to stay in that heavy peace, you always come out of it and reality is there when you open your eyes, the warmth that surrounded you fades away and your body is... just there.
I found myself in that moment once more with the last threads of sleep pulling away from my mind. I waited for the warmth to fade, but it didn't, and when I opened my eyes, my reality wasn't just there. It was all around me.
Jack was all around me.
I was burrowed into his chest, my face pressed against his chest and the steady beat of his heart pulsing against my cheek.
This was my new favorite moment.
Waking up in his arms, against his hard body, and feeling more peace than I had ever felt in sleep. His masculine features softened when he slept and sometimes I would just take a few minutes to look at him and find a way to convince myself it wasn't a dream.
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