Had Enough

by Anie Michaels

  “So you’re not in love.”

  Just as his mother said the words the waitress came back with all three bottles of alcohol. We were quiet while she placed everything on the table. When she left Justin leaned forward, his voice low.

  “I’d be lucky to spend the rest of my life with Hadley. Regardless of how deep my feelings for her go—and that’s not something I’m willing to discuss with you right now—I’ll take her for as long as she’ll have me.”

  My heart cracked open a little more for him at his words. I didn’t need him to defend me to his parents. I could deal with whatever fallout there was from our choices, but hearing him defend me, us, what we had, to his parents was the same as wrapping a warm blanket around me in a sense. I immediately was more sure, more secure, about our relationship and believed wholeheartedly that what we had was worth fighting for.

  “Clearly,” I stated slowly, making sure my tone was soft, “Justin and I are aware of the gravity of our decision. We are not taking this lightly and we aren’t kidding ourselves into thinking it’s not an enormous deal.” I looked over at Justin and saw the love for me radiating in his eyes and I knew I’d walk to the ends of the earth for him, do anything to make sure nothing stood between us anymore. “But we want to be together. We want to give ourselves the chance to build a real relationship on a solid foundation.” I moved my gaze to his mother and spoke softly. “I am sorry you’re finding out like this. When we met at your house I didn’t even realize what was going on and I never want you to think we’d lied or tricked you. We are very much stumbling through this ourselves.”

  Justin’s parents were quiet but exchanged knowing looks. Looks that spoke a thousand silent words. Communicating through a connection that only came with time, love, and cultivation. I wanted that so badly with Justin. Not today, and not tomorrow, but someday I wanted to be able to look at him and hear the words he was thinking, know what he’d say before he said it. I wanted to be able to show him how much I cared about him with just a look, convey emotion simply by catching his gaze. It was not something I’d ever wished for with any other man.

  “This will obviously take some time to sink in,” Allen said after a moment.

  “Never in a million years would I have ever thought you’d do something like this, Justin,” his mother added. She smiled as she said the words, but there was hurt in her eyes. I couldn’t imagine what Justin was feeling because I was torn up. We’d hurt his parents, that much was clear, however unintentional it was.

  “Time is something we can give you,” I said softly.

  “I know it doesn’t help hearing this, but the marriage doesn’t change anything. Not really. Hadley and I are just like any other couple who’ve been seeing each other. I care about her, a lot, and she is my wife, but we’re taking it day by day.”

  “Hour by hour, really,” I added, trying to bring some levity to the situation. “Neither one of us was prepared for this at all.”

  I gave a silent thank you to some higher power when his parents laughed at my joke.

  “You all sure know how to liven up a dinner meeting.” Aiden’s voice struck the mood of the table like a splash of cold water. I’d forgotten he was even there. Everyone laughed, myself included, and I watched as he stood from the table. “This has been an interesting evening to say the least, but I think you all could use some time to yourselves to get to know one another.” His eyes darted toward me. “Hadley, could I borrow you for just one moment?”

  “Of course,” I said, standing and following him to the hostess’ stand. He approached the young woman and placed a hand between her shoulder blades to get her attention.

  “I have to leave, but I want to make sure the ticket for my table goes entirely on this card.”

  “Absolutely no problem, sir. I’ll go run it and be right back.” She took the credit card from him and left her station, also leaving me gaping at him.

  “Mr. Daniels, no, I can’t have you paying for a dinner I ruined. Please,” I stated, mortified.

  “You have to stop calling me that. My name is Aiden. We can’t work together if you make me feel like I’m sixty.”

  “Work together?” Surely, after what just happened, there was no way he still wanted to work together.

  “That was the best, most entertaining dinner I’ve had in a long, long time,” he said, laughing. “You’re nuts.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “I promise, this is the craziest dinner I’ve ever had too. Things like this don’t happen to me.”

  “Well, that’ll be a shame. I was looking forward to endless entertainment. Tell you what,” he said as the hostess brought his card back and had him sign a receipt. “Thank you,” he said, handing it back to her and then returning his eyes to me. “Let’s both agree that tonight never happened. I still want to work with you and I hope you’ll still join the project.”

  “I would love that. Thank you for being so understanding.”

  “Partners?” he asked, holding his hand out to me.

  I took it, gladly, giving him a firm handshake. “Partners.”

  “Great. When will I see you out at the house next?”

  “I am booked tomorrow and the day after, so how does Friday work for you?”

  “Sounds great. See you then.”

  He turned with a smile and walked toward the elevator and I watched until the doors closed and he gave me a friendly wave.

  An exhausted sigh escaped me. I knew I’d dodged a bullet there. Aiden could have very easily seen my crazy and backed out of the deal. I knew I’d be busting my ass to make sure he knew I wasn’t some looney tunes crazy woman. I wanted him to see how hard I worked, what kind of results I could deliver, and having that night as our starting point was only going to work against me. My job just got a lot harder.

  “Everything all right?” Justin’s voice surprised me and I turned around just as his hand hit my waist.

  “Yeah. Mr. Daniels—er, Aiden—just left. He insisted on paying for our dinner, though.”

  “That was unnecessary,” he said before pressing a kiss to my temple. “But he seems like a good guy, so I’m not surprised.”

  “Me neither.” I sighed. “He also said he still wanted to work with me, even after witnessing that train wreck.”

  “That’s because he knows you’re damn good at your job.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered. “We should probably get back to your parents.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are they pissed?” I asked with a wince. I did and didn’t want to know the answer to that question in equal measure.

  He shook his head slightly. “No, I honestly think my mom is more upset than anything. Sad she didn’t get to come to my wedding. My dad is just upset that my mom’s upset.”

  “I feel terrible.”

  “I know, baby. So do I. But it wasn’t intentional and all we can do from here on out is be honest.”

  “Okay,” I replied, cupping his face with my hand. “I’m sorry about all this. I can’t help but feel responsible.”

  His eyes darkened at my words and his voice dropped. “Do you regret it?”

  I stilled at his words.

  “Regret marrying you?”

  His head moved with just a fraction of a nod, and he waited for my response, not breathing, eyes darting back and forth between mine. I knew the question was heavy and that my answer could break him. But I answered honestly.

  “No.”

  His shoulders dropped at my words, tension leaving him in waves, and his mouth pressed to mine in the softest, purest kiss.

  “Come on,” he said when he pulled away. Then he took my hand in his and led me back to the table to have dinner with my in-laws.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Justin

  The screen on my phone read 3:30 a.m. the last time I checked. It could have been an hour ago, but I knew only a few minutes had passed. I’d been stuck in this cycle all night—not sleeping, checking the time, then lying there thinking ab
out not sleeping. It was a crappy cycle and I was swirling around in it, exhausted.

  We started the night wrapped around each other, Hadley’s cheek pressed against my chest, my arm wrapped around her, holding her close. Our legs tangled together under the covers.

  She’d been understandably exhausted when we’d arrived back at my house and it only took her about five minutes to fall asleep. I held her close, taking in the scent of her shampoo, loving the way her breath feathered over my skin, waiting for sleep to take me as well, but it never came.

  Eventually I rolled her away from me, not wanting to wake her with my restlessness.

  In the dark, I could see the shape of her. The dip of her waist, the hill of her hip, the way her shoulder rose slightly with her breath. The only sound was that of her breathing. It should have been enough to lull me to sleep, but it didn’t.

  No. Instead, I lay in bed all night with something niggling at my mind.

  The situation played over and over in my mind, like a movie reel stuck on repeat.

  My mother’s voice was clear in my brain, almost like she was right next to me.

  Are you in love?

  I rolled over again and checked the time.

  Three thirty-three a.m.

  I groaned before I could stop myself, wishing it was morning already so I could stop hoping for sleep that would never come.

  Are you in love?

  I ran my hands through my hair, fisting it and tugging a little, trying to get my mind off the thoughts pummeling me from the inside. Trying to distract myself from what was really on my mind.

  Fuck it.

  “Hadley,” I said softly, my hand brushing down her arm, trying to wake her gently. “Had, baby, wake up.”

  “Hmmm…” she mumbled, turning onto her back and blinking up at me, clearly confused. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I just need to tell you something.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Three thirty-three in the fucking morning,” I grumbled.

  “What’s going on?” She sounded adorably tired and I was almost sad I woke her when she obviously needed the sleep.

  “I just need to tell you something and then you can go back to sleep.”

  “Okay…” she replied, drawing the word out and narrowing her eyes at me.

  I moved closer to her, loving the way she rolled toward me easily, so trusting. I wanted her turning to me like that forever.

  “Tonight, at dinner, when we told my parents what happened in Vegas, something’s been bothering me about that.”

  “What is it?” Worry creased her forehead.

  I brought my hand to her face to try and alleviate her worry, to soothe her.

  “My mom asked me if I was in love and I didn’t answer her.”

  Hadley stilled, not even a breath passing through her lungs, so I continued.

  “The thing was, at the time, I didn’t want to tell you I loved you for the first time while I was fighting with my parents in front of a stranger at some random restaurant. I wanted it to be special. To mean something. To be memorable, since one of our biggest memories is kind of blurry for both of us.”

  “Justin,” she whispered, but I pressed my thumb against her lips, silencing her.

  “But I can’t sleep knowing I denied it.”

  I watched as tears welled in her eyes, as her chin shook just below my thumb.

  “I do love you. I’ve loved you for a while now, even before Vegas. And I need you to know that. I need you to know I’m not here simply because there’s a piece of paper that binds us together. I’m not here because it’s the right thing to do. I’m here because from the first moment we met, I was captivated by you. I want to be with you because it feels wrong to be away from you. I love you, regardless of what happened in Vegas. Perhaps I love you more because of it, but not because it happened. Does that make sense?”

  She nodded urgently, sniffling, and I took my thumb off her lips, only to have her quickly move to press her mouth against mine.

  “I love you too,” she said against my lips, then continued kissing me. I let her kiss me, let her lips roam over mine, loving the way she seemed hungry for me, but I couldn’t let it go on.

  “You don’t have to say it because I did. I’m not looking for reciprocation. I just needed to tell you.”

  “Do you love me?” she asked suddenly, her voice firm.

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t doubt it. I trust you. Trust me when I say I love you too.” Her hands came to each side of my face. “You know me, and you know I’d never do something I didn’t want to.”

  That was true. I had no power over her in that way.

  The last thing I’d expected when I made the decision to wake her up and tell her I loved her was for her to say it back. I wasn’t prepared to process what that meant, how monumentally my world had shifted with just four words.

  I love you too.

  She loved me.

  Not because she was supposed to and not because she had to, but just because. Because we were made to love each other.

  I rolled on top of her, bracing my arms on the mattress beneath her, loving the way her knees parted almost instinctively, making room for my hips, and I made a point to look directly into her eyes.

  “I trust you, Hadley,” I said softly, leaning down to kiss her again. Her body arched up to mine as our mouths met, and my body melted into hers, seeking the same contact.

  Hadley never slept in the same thing twice. In fact, I wasn’t even sure she owned legitimate pajamas. Some nights she wore long T-shirts, some nights my T-shirts, other nights she wore tank tops with tiny shorts. Some nights she wore nothing. Then there were the nights like that one where she fell into bed with just underwear and a lace bra.

  I moved my mouth down her body, over her jaw and her throat, down her chest, then ran my nose over the lace of her bra. Her breast rose and fell rapidly with her breaths as I brought the peak into my mouth. Her back arched further and her hands came to the back of my head, holding me against her, forcing me to take more of her. It wasn’t a chore. Hadley had the most perfect breasts, but I wanted to feel her skin, not the lace covering it.

  My thumbs slipped under the garment and I pulled away as I lifted it over her head. Her long hair flew around, coming to rest on her pillow like a crown of sunrays.

  “You’re beautiful,” I said, our gazes locked.

  “You’re still clothed.”

  I watched as the corner of her mouth turned up and then mine mirrored it. Her hands came to my sides and slid over my waist and the tips of her fingers slid over my ass and into my pants.

  “You have a magnificent ass,” she panted. “I love you, but I really love your body.” She was smiling, almost laughing, but I couldn’t find the humor in the moment.

  “Say it again,” I whispered, my face just an inch from hers. “Say it,” I implored once more.

  “I love you.”

  And just like that it was no longer about asses and breasts. Body parts weren’t important any longer because what mattered was simply connecting with her. I needed to be surrounded by her and she needed to be filled with me. We were frantic and static all at the same time, moving but connected. She stripped off the rest of her clothes and I pushed down my pants until finally there was nothing standing in the way of immersing myself in her. I reached down and slipped my fingers between her legs, groaning when I found her wet.

  “You’re so ready, baby. I just want to be inside you. I promise I’ll take care of you.”

  She nodded, giving me permission to bypass my usual MO of getting her off before I dipped inside her, because in that moment, we just needed the contact. It wasn’t about her, and it wasn’t about me, it was about the two of us, together. I needed to feel her.

  And that was exactly what I did.

  I claimed her. Pushed into her. Made her mine as much as I was hers.

  My breath stopped, halting in my lungs as her warmth enveloped me. Her hand
s stilled on my back, our mouths frozen just inches apart. Slowly I pulled out and pushed back in, finding a lazy but fucking amazing rhythm. With each thrust her breaths came faster, her legs clamping tighter around my body.

  “Fuck,” I groaned, sliding my hands under her ass and lifting.

  “Oh, God,” she panted as I found a deeper angle. “Don’t stop.”

  There wasn’t a chance in hell I was stopping. Not for anything. Not ever.

  “Not on your life,” I grunted, earning me a small smile before it faded away and was replaced with her mouth falling open on a moan and her eyes rolling back in her head. Always a good sign.

  There wasn’t a ton of space between us, but I looked down at where our bodies were joined and watched with fascination as my cock slid in and out of her, obsessed with the act of mating, with the idea of her being my mate. There was no one else on the earth who fit her like I did, and no one else who felt that good wrapped around me.

  “This is it,” I rasped, my breaths coming quickly. “I’ve had enough of tip toeing around us. You’re mine now. No more fucking around.” I thrust with intention, making sure each stroke was deeper and longer than the last. I could visualize the peak she was climbing toward and I wanted to push her there gently, slowly. I wanted the burn to simmer.

  I leaned down on the arm next to her head, bringing my face even closer to hers and making our bodies align. She lifted her knees around my sides and ground against me with every thrust.

  “Oh, God,” she repeated, gasping whenever I applied more pressure to her pelvis.

  “Like this?” I asked, intentionally making long strokes and rubbing the root of my cock against her clit.

  She nodded, mumbling, “Mmm hmmm,” and biting on her lower lip, clearly unable to form real words.

  I lowered my mouth to her neck, kissing and nipping her there, putting all my effort into making sure I hit the exact right spot, listening to her body react, hearing her moans—it was the absolute peak of sexual fantasy. Everything about being with her was above my wildest wishes, more than I could have ever imagined.

  I continued to thrust until she cried out differently, a more desperate noise, and her hands moved from my waist and back to my shoulders, her fingers gripping me as if she were holding on for dear life. Suddenly she was shuddering, convulsing around me, her entire body locking up as she let out a guttural groan.