Sorrow: A Novel Written by Brian Wortley

by Brian Wortley

  Val quickly looked herself over and saw several black toes.

  “Alright,” Val said, “who was carrying me? Could you not lift me above the snow?”

  Overall the doctor found most had frostbitten toes. Sara seemed to be the only one showing damaged fingers.

  When everyone had been examined, Adus offered them a choice. “I know it sounds crazy, but is there anyone who wants to have their dead appendages removed?”

  Sara stepped forward and offered her two fingers.

  “Sara,” Val yelled, “you don’t have to! I mean it’s voluntary. I’m not going to do it.”

  “They’re dead,” Sara replied. “And I don’t care.”

  To Val’s horror, the doctor produced pruning shears.

  “Whoa,” Val said to the doctor, “shouldn’t we do this in a sterile environment or something? You guys have a hospital right?”

  “Well, it’s here, the kitchen, or my bedroom,” the doctor replied. “We don’t have a hospital room because we realized awhile ago that no one ever comes back banged up. They just don’t come back. Zombies are very efficient that way.”

  Val and Andrea looked away when the doctor moved towards Sara. They had seen rotten flesh and people eaten alive, but somehow this seemed too disgusting.

  Sara watched as the doctor struggled to cut through the bone. Somewhat callously she watched her two dead fingers fall to the floor. Sara found it very strange to see a part of her body lying on the ground. She knew if she had been in the earlier stages of pregnancy, she would have vomited.

  “Somebody already did me,” Carlos said holding up his missing hand as he walked past the doctor.

  The doctor’s assistant gave him water and bandages to clean Sara’s wound.

  With that done, Adus addressed them. “You may enter. But we’ll keep you in separate quarters for the time being in case you do have disease.”

  “Oh no,” Val asked Connor, “someone got a disease?”

  Connor, realizing he was being given a perfect opportunity, replied, “Yes. It’s Carlos. He finally confessed that he’d been doing it for weeks.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Waiting till someone,” Connor paused to keep from laughing, “took a dump and then-” Connor had to stop to avoid a smile.

  “Then what?”

  “Eats our crap. We’re pretty sure he has some type of contagious infection.”

  Just then Carlos passed by and Val backed up away from him. A look of disgust seized her face.

  “I’m glad you’re back,” Carlos said to her.

  “Why so you can eat my crap? What? Are you an animal? Maybe I’ll start calling you crap head.”

  Andrea had overheard the whole conversation and immediately burst into laughter.

  Carlos ignorantly stared at Val. “Good talk. Glad you didn’t suffer any brain damage,” Carlos replied and then moved to follow Adus.

  Val groaned a little. “I still have a headache,” she said. “How long was I out?”

  “A day,” Connor replied. “Maybe more. We lost track of time.”

  “And now we’re in a building with other people? I get knocked out for a day and you guys immediately find the rest of civilization. I must be one hell of a bad guide. I was just holding you all back.”

  “I didn’t want to say it. But the evidence really speaks for itself here.”

  Val frowned at him. “Thanks for all your support.”

  Adus took them to the rubble wall and its tiny door. As they did the guard’s heads all turned to follow them. Only one masked guard ventured a greeting. The others seemed curiously preoccupied with watching them.

  As they passed behind the rubble door, they found another similarly cylinder room. The main source of light came from a small group of bulbs hanging over a garden. It immediately stole Sara’s gaze. There in the soil grew the only vegetables and green growth Sara had seen in a long time. The garden even boasted a large patch of grass and a little running fountain for serenity. Its soft sound of trickling water came like a relief to her ears.

  Sara wanted to stay, but Adus had other plans. He lit two candles from a larger candle towards the center of the room. Besides these new candles and a few more sprinkled throughout the room, there were no other lights. Adus led them by candlelight from this room and back into a small opening in the concrete wall. This small passageway took them to their rooms.

  “The two men can stay in this room,” Adus said pointing to an opening on their left. “We’ll eat in about an hour. There should be a change of clothes in there and a bathtub if you two want to wash up. Why don’t you two go in there and I’ll get the women situated.” Adus handed Carlos one of the candles and Connor and Carlos moved into their new room.

  Adus took the women to the next room down.

  “This is your room,” Adus informed them. As Sara stepped in, she found it beautifully arrayed with dozens of burning candles. The scent of them surrounded her.

  “It has all the comforts we can afford here,” Adus said. “If there’s anything I can do to make things easier or more comfortable for you, please tell me or just ask one of my men.”

  “If I told you it wouldn’t harm you,” Sara said, “would you take off your mask?”

  Adus paused to stare at her. Slowly his hands went up to his mask and pulled it off. The candlelight danced off the dark skin of his face. Even with the scar down his left cheek, he remained a very attractive man.

  “In through that door, you’ll find a warm bath waiting for you.” He smiled. “Maya will help you, Sara.” Adus pointed to the corner of the room and there Sara, Andrea, and Val found a woman they failed to notice before. She, along with Adus, had taken off her mask and now held it in her hand. She stood smiling in the dancing shadows. When Sara met her eyes, Maya did a little bow. “Maya insisted on serving you even though I told her about Val’s condition.”

  At this comment, Val’s face dropped. “What condition?”

  “Your possible disease.”

  “Don’t you mean Carlos?”

  Andrea smiled at this.

  “Is he sick also?” Adus asked.

  “More than you know! Hope you have a good shrink,” Val replied.

  Adus was confused by this and decided to ignore it.

  “Sara,” Adus continued, “don’t worry, the bath water is temperature approved for pregnancy by another mother here.”

  Sara was shocked at the consideration he displayed over her condition. It had seemed like only a burden to everyone for so long. “You’re a very kind man, Adus,” Sara said with almost a smile.

  With that Adus left them.

  “He’s yummy,” Andrea said with a smile.

  “I’m a married woman,” Val replied, “so I didn’t notice. But if I had, I’d tell you that he is indeed very fine!”

  Sara shook her head at the two women.

  Sara took a moment to view her new surroundings. Even though it reminded her some of her college dorm, it was paradise.

  “Welcome to our little home,” Maya welcomed them.

  “We’re glad to be here,” Sara replied.

  “Where are we exactly?” Val asked.

  “Underground in Orlando,” Maya replied. “We’ve lived here for some time now. The-” Maya stopped as if scared to say it, “outsiders have never found us here.”

  Val almost took offense at Maya’s innocence. “You mean the zombies?” Val asked.

  Maya nodded her head in agreement.

  Sara immediately became fascinated by Maya and her seemingly childish nature. Sara cherished the fact that someone so innocent could still live in such a world. Sara made a mental note to examine Maya’s life later.

  “Hmm, a bed,” Val said with a smile. “I haven’t slept in one of these in a while.”

  Val ran her hands over the smooth sheets only to find a streak of dirt followed her fingers. She had given such little thought to cleanliness in the previous months.

  “So is Adus seeing anyone,” A
ndrea asked.

  Maya smiled back at her. “No. He’s far too busy for any of that.”

  Andrea was not dismayed by this and immediately started running through plans in her head.

  Sara ventured to peek behind the large divider to see the bathtub. Pleasure, just at the sight of it, greeted her. It felt like a long time since she had been so cared for beyond survival. The wasteland now seemed crude and barbaric.

  Maya smiled when she saw Sara looking at the bath. Quietly Maya moved to Sara and said, “I’m going to help you get cleaned up. There’s a dinner soon, you know.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Yes. It’s to celebrate your arrival and honor Moses.”

  “You knew Moses?”

  “He was my very good friend. Did you know him well?”

  “Val knew him better.”

  Sara moved to start removing her clothes, but Maya stepped in. Maya peeled off her crusted clothing. Sara uncomfortably tried to help but Maya objected. “Please, Sara, rest. Let me serve you.” Sighing softly, Sara agreed and resigned herself to standing.

  With her naked eyes, Sara looked into the little hand mirror fastened to the concrete wall. There she found someone completely unlike how she thought of herself. The wastes had greatly changed her. She stood a completely different woman than the one she knew in the cabin or Colorado Springs. A subtle but enduring strength resided in her now deeply rooted in her.

  But in the mirror, she also found frailty. The glass betrayed a worn woman’s body showing many signs of middle-age and the scars of her difficult life. Her eyes lowered to her two missing fingers. Sara barely felt their sting anymore. In fact, in a bizarre type of way, she actually welcomed the feeling of physical pain. It seemed so light and temporal compared to her overwhelming emotions.

  Maya gently wiped each self-inflicted scar running down Sara’s arm. Sara had all but forgotten about them until now.

  Sara lowered her view to her pregnant belly. It just hung there. Looking at it reminded her that she’d soon have a baby to care for. This would change everything. She had been pregnant before but never like this. As she thought tears began to roll down her cheeks. Maya quickly grabbed a cloth to wipe them.

  “What’s the matter, Sara?” Maya asked.

  “This is my fourth pregnancy. The last two I liked much more. I haven’t had any time to just sit and soak in being pregnant. I’m too busy trying to stay alive to think about what’s happening right inside of me. In a bizarre way it makes me sad that it’s almost over.”

  “There is still some time left,” Maya said helping Sara into the bath. “And after that you’ll have your beautiful child and all these dark thoughts will dissipate.”

  Sara fought very hard to not correct her. She wanted more than anything right now to have an obstinate blind hope like this. Sara hadn’t realized until now how much seeing the future had stolen that from her. She barely hoped for anything anymore. Her curiosity would just get the better of her and she would merely look to see if it will happen or not. Dreaming had long since decayed into something factual and impersonal.

  “That,” Sara replied, “sounds like a lovely change.”

  Sara silently soaked her weary bones in the warm water. The single most pleasurable event she’d experienced in months. As Sara calmed herself, she became aware of steady breathing from behind the divider. Sara looked up at Maya who peered over the curtain. Maya returned to whisper that both women slept soundly. At this Sara smiled.

  ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ • ∙

  When the curtain doorway of Sara’s room drew back, the woman who exited bore almost no similarities to the one who entered. In a word: elegant. Her eyes, now sparkling brightly in the candlelight, beamed with the warmth of care. Sara had been so deeply touched by the tender thoughts of Adus and Maya’s gentle touch that she had spent the last part of her bath crying. Despite everyone’s encouragement, Sara had felt like a burden to the group since the beginning. But here, she genuinely felt honored and wanted.

  A stunning white dress graced her figure. Beads of silver started at the bottom left and were spread out over much of the dress. Though Sara had laughed when Maya first showed her, the dress and Sara now seemed inseparable. She had never seen maternity clothes like this when she was pregnant years ago. But this was Orlando, Sara thought, the big city!

  The dazzling front of the dress had been made especially for later pregnancy and so covered her belly and boasted enough material to fall mostly to the floor. Underneath its hem only Sara’s wiggly toes shown out.

  Her missing hair had been smartly masked by Maya’s selection of a complimenting white sash tied around Sara’s head. Its two long tails came to a small knot below Sara’s mouth and then journeyed over her left shoulder. The material had so little weight it floated up behind Sara any time she walked.

  Sara felt radiant. The dress swayed in the most royal sort of way. Sara couldn’t help looking down at it as she walked. Feelings of nobility ran down her spine and lightly glittered arms. Maya skillfully sprinkled her with glitter to successfully draw attention away from Sara’s self-inflicted cuts. Sara herself did not even notice them. But she could not help seeing the bandage covering her wounded hand. It seemed altogether un-queenly. The remembrance of her absent fingers and their sting stopped her stride.

  Suddenly, a curious thought struck her. Although it made little logical sense, she thought it far more proper to display her wounded hand truthfully. Even though she could not think of a queen before her who would gladly display such an imperfection, Sara thought of herself as an altogether new type of royalty. Her body had paid the price of this moment of indulgence. And Sara did not mind showing it.

  She unwound the bandage and let the thumb and two remaining fingers out without their counterparts. Indeed, Sara thought, I am an entirely different sort of thing now.

  Adus greeted her at the exit of the small tunnel.

  “Sara,” he said with a little bow as if to acknowledge her feeling of nobility. “You are beautiful.”

  She likewise did a little bow to him. “Thank you again for your kindness. It has meant so much to me.”

  “I can tell.” He took her by the arm and started to lead her forward. “You will sit beside me.”

  “You’re not going to quarantine us?”

  “Judging by your comment earlier, I don’t think I need to. And something tells me that with the approaching horde it would make little difference anyway.”

  As the two entered the large center room, all in attendance stood. Sara found this gesture odd.

  “Why do they stand for me?” she asked Adus. “They don’t even know me.”

  “Though you may not want to hear it, I have told them about Brady and they are fascinated with him. They stand out of respect for him and for you his wife. Whatever you believe, the fact remains that if he had not done what he did, none of us would be here.”

  Sara made no reply.

  When Sara sat, everyone followed suit. As everyone moved into their seats, Sara couldn’t help counting their numbers. A little over two dozen. This will stand against a horde of millions? She wondered.

  To Sara’s right sat a very cheerful, sparkling Val. Val smiled to see Sara dressed so elegantly. Even, after all she had been through, Sara emanated a peaceful glow.

  Sara, looking as if she were about to cry, reached out under the table and clasped Val’s hand.

  Val fought the odd sensation of being greeted only by two fingers and a thumb.

  “You look stunning!” Val said.

  “And you,” Sara smiled back. “We really clean up well!”

  Val replied in a thick Louisianan accent, “There’s just something about scrubbing the zombie blood off a woman that makes her look purdee!”

  Sara laughed.

  “Apparently,” Val continued in her normal voice, “you’re very good at picking clothes, Maya.” Maya smiled back to Val. “Because a certain someone can’t keep his eyes off of – well everything! So, good
job.”

  Maya shot a quick glance to a mesmerized Connor who remained completely oblivious to the conversation.

  “I’m happy for you!” Sara told Val. “I’ve been so encouraged by how you two have come back together. It’s hopeful.”

  “I’m sure you and Brady will do the same,” Val replied. The comment made Sara think Val had suffered brain damage.

  Sara started to say something to Andrea, who sat on the other side of Val, but Andrea seemed obviously fascinated by Adus.

  Adus knocked his spoon against the cheap plastic glass in an attempt to lasso everyone’s attention. When that failed to produce enough noise, he pounded the spoon against the metal table and everyone stopped to look his direction.

  “Brothers and sisters,” Adus said in a loud voice. “Long have you known about the promise I held from Brady about our new arrivals. And here they are!” Everyone clapped. “Although neither Brady nor our courageous brother Moses arrived with them, we still have hope. Even the gathering army of enemies outside cannot take that from us.

  “But let us not think of that now. Our position is still hidden. Our scouts are posted. Tonight let us remember our dear Moses. One we loved has willingly given his life for the cause. I can still remember the passion he showed when he eagerly asked for permission to travel to Colorado Springs.” Adus turned to the new arrivals. “He loved you before he met you.

  “He was a courageous man. Perhaps the strongest I’ve ever known. His quiet strength had a way of bringing out the best in others.” Adus’ emotions showed on his face. “I loved him like a brother. I found him here in Orlando. I distinctly remember the first time I’d seen him. Along my journey from Colorado Springs to here, I’d freed four of you. To be completely honest, it was almost entirely out of convenience. I found you four wandering alone and it was easy to cure you. But Moses was the first one I stalked. I saw him in his madness and I pitied him. For three days, I kept track of his movements and finally captured him when he was alone. I wanted him on my team.

  “That turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Because not only was the man built like an ox but he had the kindest heart of just about anyone I’ve ever known. He so genuinely cared about the people around him.”