Her career was in full swing, but her marriage had hit an invisible wall with a splat. Vivianne shook her head, trying to clear it, when she realized her mom was watching her closely with doubt in her crystal blue eyes. Those same eyes that Vivianne always wished she had inherited instead of the hazel ones from her father. Finally, her mother blurted out, “Why aren’t you happier?”
“I just miss him so much,” Vivianne said, the tears breaking through and stinging her eyes. She fell onto her mom’s shoulders, crying, instead of explaining.
Chapter Three
“We’re not giving up on you. You… are… NOT… giving up on your marriage. Do you hear me, soldier?” Daniels stood behind Aiden, talking to his back in that commander voice, pausing after each word. It was an order, and one Aiden wanted to follow.
“O’Riley, I know you love her. She was all you talked about for the two years you dated. Then, you were the happiest man I’ve ever seen when you tied the knot. Even the tone in your voice when you talk about her is different. You know that? You’ve got something special.”
Had something special and, like an idiot, he’d let it waste away.
“You don’t get it, Vinny.” He didn’t use Daniels’ first name often, but now seemed like a good time. Maybe using Vinny would make him listen. “She’s done. We’ve been in trouble for almost a year. There’s just nothing to fight for anymore.”
Daniels grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him around so fast he had to catch himself from tripping.
“O’Riley! Of course there’s something to fight for – your wife! Quitting is not an option.” They stared eye to eye for a minute. Daniels had gone through a divorce, an ugly, bitter one. That lent weight to his words.
Aiden threw his head back, sighing. His frustration built like a pot about to boil over. “It might be out of my hands. She needs someone who’s there. She needs to start a family. And…and I fucked up.”
Yep, this was his fault. It was more than him being gone a lot. Way more. He’d killed Vivianne’s trust in him, her love for him, and her self-confidence—all in one short , brutal confession ten months ago.
What he’d done wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but that didn’t matter. His infatuation for another woman had inflicted the same damage as an all-out affair.
It had been an innocent friendship that went too far…well, maybe friendships with women can never be entirely innocent. Cindy was there. Vivianne wasn’t. He and Vivianne were arguing a lot, but Cindy just wanted to joke around and have fun. He was missing his wife; he naively never thought how flirting with someone else would make her feel. Somehow, it had even seemed like a reasonable way to ease the pain of missing Vivianne. He could see how stupid he’d been now, but hindsight wasn’t going to fix this. What a mess.
“Who?”
Aiden shrugged like it didn’t matter, and really it didn’t. It could have been anyone. “Remember Cindy?”
Daniels grimaced. “And was it worth it?”
“No, it wasn’t like that exactly…” Aiden tried explaining about the joking and playing around, and how it made him forget about the troubles in his marriage. It had been exciting, something outside and separate from his relationship with Vivianne. But it wasn’t right. He knew that now. But he’d gotten caught up in it and had acted like a fool.
Daniels stepped back, studying Aiden for a long time. Maybe he was adjusting his opinion of him. That stung because they’d been SEAL team brothers for over three years. The SEALs were a tight-knit family. They had each other’s backs, and their families were all close as well. Part of him feared the others, especially Daniels, would judge him, get angry, and even cut off friendships. Another part of him thought that maybe Daniels desperately wanted Aiden to succeed where he had failed—at marriage.
He waited but the tongue-lashing didn’t come.
“So make it right,” Daniels said calmly. “Start a family. You’ll be there in a few weeks. Don’t let your marriage be a casualty of this war.”
Daniels’ words surprised Aiden, but he shook his head and looked away. “It hasn’t worked. The getting-pregnant part. Everything is dragging her down, and I haven’t been there emotionally or physically for her. I let her down. I lost her. Get it?”
He wanted to yell at someone, but it shouldn’t be his friend. Daniels stood there and took it anyway. Now that they were both quiet, the only lingering noise was his ragged breathing. There were sounds off in the distance, but they didn’t matter.
Vivianne had always trusted him once he had won that trust in the beginning. The first time they were together, she looked up into his eyes, her own eyes wide, and asked him, “Be gentle, okay?” She tried to laugh with it, like it was an offhand comment, but he felt her tremble. She might have been worried that he was too strong or too much for her, but he showed her just how gentle and loving he could be.
He didn’t want to lose her. All this fighting hadn’t been because he was tired of her, didn’t like her, didn’t love her, or any other sorry reason. It stemmed from his frustration at being away from her and at being angry with himself for hurting her.
“What will it take?” Daniels asked, confusing Aiden.
He stared at Daniels for a minute, trying to understand the simple words. What would it take? Was it even possible to convince her that they had a chance? That they should try to hold on to their marriage? Aiden heaved a sigh, realizing he wanted to cry. He never cried. “She wanted me home for Christmas.”
Daniels slapped his hands together like that was the solution. “Then we’ll get you home!” He turned and strode back inside, yelling back, “Get in here. We’ve got planning to do. Everyone, here, right now! We have a mission.”
Aiden followed him with slow steps. “Daniels?”
“We’re going to get you home for Christmas so you can save your marriage. We’ll arrange a special covert ops.”
Chapter Four
The phone rang, jolting Vivianne. She picked it up, looked at the screen, and dropped it by accident.
“Aiden!”
She snagged it off the floor, cursing the way her heart jumped. Everything felt right for a second, before she reminded herself that things were over between Aiden and her. They’d tried. They’d failed. She controlled her voice to answer simply, “Aiden.”
She wanted to hang up on him for sending that last email.
“Babe… I know you’re hurting, and I know I’m not there, but can you give me a little while longer?” His voice was rushed and raspy, as if he’d been under stress. Sometimes he sounded like that when he returned from a mission. She could see him plain as day, as if he were right in front of her. Closing her eyes, she savored his image for a second.
Then she cleared her throat and wondered out loud. “A while longer before what?”
Panic spiked in her chest. Did he somehow know about the baby? Maybe he knew and was worried she planned to abort it. She felt sick again and even headed toward the bathroom, but walking and taking several deep breaths helped. Of course he couldn’t know. No one did except her boss, who wouldn’t say a word to anyone yet, and mom… her mom! Her mother wouldn’t call him, would she?
After the long pause, he said, “So…so things are okay? You’re not…doing anything?”
His voice held so many questions and layers that she felt he was talking over her head. It had to be about how she had mentioned a divorce. “Doing anything like what? What do you need more time for?” He could have meant filing divorce papers. She wanted to make him say it, though.
He was the one who had strayed. And wasn’t he the one who had brought up calling it quits? She wasn’t sure how to deal with this kind of pain much longer. It was love and hate mixed together, battling and tearing her apart in the process.
“I just want more time. I don’t want you to make any decisions about us until after the holidays, when I get back. Please give us one more Christmas, baby. It’s our season, remember? Give us a little time to remember how good we
can be. I love you.”
Everything closed in on her so hard she couldn’t talk. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding it all in, even as an ocean of want, hurt, and longing swelled up inside her.
“Vivianne? I love you.”
She tried to breathe and tried to answer, but it came out like a sob. This man didn’t sound like the same one she’d been emailing with the last three months. That man had walls around him and wrote curt emails and didn’t like to call her because they argued. In short, he had tried to make their problems go away by avoiding them. So how could she trust him again?
“Remember our first Christmas together, when we were dating? We walked down to the park after midnight, and it started snowing. Just like the night we met. Like God’s own blessing on us, you said. We danced under the streetlight.”
She did remember. Even now she could see the flakes catching the light, sparkling like white diamonds out of the darkness around them. Their breath had billowed out as they laughed and talked.
“Yeah,” Vivianne said on a tearful laugh, “and the snow was all gone by morning.” The enchantment had been just for them.
They’d danced in the falling snow during their first weekend together at Big Bear too. Their happy memories were like those snowflakes: there were thousands of shared magical moments. But now they were all melting, vanishing, just like snow always did.
Or were they?
Picturing Aiden’s loving eyes as he had watched her dance in the snow made Vivianne think of all the little things she loved about him. She knew the SEALS had dirty mouths when they were together, but Aiden always spoke to her like a gentleman. He left the cussing for time with his buddies.
Aiden was extremely neat and helped her clean when he was home, but he was also perfectly happy to lounge around the house in his pajamas all Saturday. They’d sleep in, watch a movie, and spend the evening sitting in front of the fire, drinking tea and talking about their future.
Silence lingered as unspoken memories flowed between them.
“Remember when I proposed?”
He was pouring it on thick, but she didn’t want to fight the memories. The bright, happy memories. She grabbed a tissue from the box on her end table and swiped at her nose. With a strained voice, she said, “In the snow.” Aiden had taken her completely by surprise. They’d been dating for a year, and to celebrate he took her up to a historical mining site to hike in the snow. After they had peered in the opening of the mine and played in the snow, she’d turned to start hiking back to the car. Glancing over her shoulder to see what was holding up Aiden, she found him— kneeling in the snow and holding out a small red, velvet box.
Marry me, Vivianne. Marry me and make me the happiest man alive.
The sun glinted off the ring, throwing light in a million directions. It was even more brilliant and vibrant with the light bouncing off the snow. It glittered like the purest, rarest diamond. When she pulled her eyes from the glow of the ring, she saw the love and earnestness in Aiden’s face. He wasn’t just any man. Aiden was tall, handsome, strong, and caring. He was a deep thinker and had so many smart ideas about everything. She loved how active he was, and yet he could sit and talk till two in the morning about any topic she chose. They were perfectly matched.
It had been a surprise, but there was no question in her mind. Her heart knew. Yes!
Finally, Vivianne whispered, “Of course I remember.” They’d been arguing about his work for so long… she realized they hadn’t held on to their special times together.
“So you’ll hold off?”
She didn’t bother pretending that she didn’t understand this time. “Yes, I can wait till after the holidays.” Even if they couldn’t fix things, at least they wouldn’t end their relationship during the holidays. “But time for what? We’ve talked and talked, and the same problems are always there.”
“Let’s save the talking for when we can talk face to face. Just give me that, okay?”
She mumbled an hm-hmm. It was her way of not disagreeing or agreeing, and they both knew it.
“I gotta go, Babe, but I want to talk to you soon. I love you.” And he prayed she still loved him.
“Bye, Aiden.”
She hung up and wondered why she couldn’t tell her husband that she loved him.
Chapter Five
Aiden ended the call and walked back into a silent, expectant room. He looked at Daniels, wearing a dead-serious expression, and then at Tank, another member of their team. Aiden and Daniels both trusted Petty Officer First Class Charles “Tank” Edwards with their lives. His nickname came from his sheer size and strength. Tank always had a crass wisecrack at the ready. But even Tank was holding his breath, waiting to find out how Aiden’s call went.
Aiden nodded, a smile creeping across his face despite his best efforts to look nonchalant. Tank whooped. Daniels jumped to his feet and pounded Aiden on the back. “I told you, you piece of shit quitter! We don’t throw in the towel, not when it matters.”
And this did matter. It mattered more than anything else in his life. If only Vivianne knew that.
“Okay,” Daniels turned, and Aiden noticed some writing across the whiteboard. Blocky, red letters spelled out Special Ops Christmas along the top. And below that, in sloppier black cursive, How do we get O’Riley’s sorry ass home in time for Christmas?
“How’s this going to work?” Aiden asked, wishing he could sound more positive and thankful.
“We’ll make it work.” Daniels stood with his feet apart and his hands in his pockets. He watched too many movies and always acted like the tough commander characters in them, like Master Chief Billy Sunday played by Robert De Niro in Men of Honor.
With a burning in his chest, Aiden surveyed the faces around the room one by one. He served with these men, trusted them with his life, and he’d willingly give his life for any one of them.
The beginning of the Navy SEAL Creed played through his mind:
My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day…
He had also sworn to love, protect, and live for Vivianne. Aiden took both vows to heart. At times he questioned whether he could commit to both responsibilities at the same time—even though he wanted to do so with every fiber in his being.
The room remained quiet. Aiden nodded and said, “Thank you, all of you. But, guys, we won’t even get stateside for two weeks, and then you know I can’t leave decompression. I asked permission already. We’re under orders.”
Tank stood up. “O’Riley, we’re SEALS. And you need to get to Vivianne.”
The door snapped open and everyone turned their heads. It was Master Chief Petty Officer Kie Arora, a well-respected, yet demanding, leader in the task unit.
“Daniels, what’s going on?”
Daniels stepped in front of the board and shrugged. That was it. Aiden appreciated his buddies’ gesture, but he knew this idea wouldn’t get far.
“Daniels!” Arora barked.
Still looking at Arora, Daniels slapped the whiteboard behind him. “We need a flight for O’Riley to get home NOW.”
Arora took three more steps and glanced at the messy handwriting, then turned to Aiden. “What’s the deal, O’Riley, with Christmas?” he snapped. “We all want to get home.”
“It might be my only chance to save my marriage.”
Arora’s eyes flickered. Silence reigned as he looked down, considering, before raising his eyes to meet Aiden’s. “I’ll make it happen.”
Once Arora left the room, Daniels turned toward the board. “Whoa, it looks like Special Ops-Phase 1 has just been arranged! Now to figure out the rest.”
“Hold on,” Aiden said, stepping forward to physically block Daniel’s view of the whiteboard. He actually liked watching Daniels take the leadership role.
Daniels had only recently moved up the ranks to Chief Petty Officer, whereas he was used to that position. At least Aiden knew the group would be okay without him. “Before we get into this, each one of you needs to think about the consequences of your actions.”
No one in the room needed to be reminded of the penalties of knowingly failing to obey a military regulation. Yet, despite visions of punishments ranging from loss of pay to bad-conduct discharge to imprisonment, the faces that looked back at Aiden all held identical expressions of determination to help their comrade.
Chapter Six
The call came much sooner than expected. “O’Riley, move— move now! We’ve got a flight if you can haul your butt over there this second.” And with those words, Special Ops Christmas was underway.
Daniels met his eyes. “Merry Christmas, bro, and that’s an order.”
“O’Riley?” Arora handed Aiden a sealed white envelope. “You’re not officially cleared for any of this, so you might have problems using your own ID. This contains your new ID along with tickets all the way to the West Coast. However, I have no knowledge of what you’re doing, and I won’t help in any other way if you get caught.”
“Understood, Sir.” This was more than he’d hoped for already. The new ID displayed his face but with a totally different name. He chuckled at the high quality of the forged documents. The expert work did not surprise him since changing identity was often needed in special missions, and the Navy SEALs only delivered the best.
Daniels slapped him on the back. Tank stood behind him, grinning like a fool. “O’Riley, this is it. Get your butt in gear.”
Aiden stood, suddenly aware his hands were shaking. Strange for a Navy SEAL, but this was his most important mission. “Will, do.” He saluted them, just a casual flip of his fingers, but it was a show of respect that reflected the love within this team. Saying thanks just wouldn’t be enough.
Special Ops Christmas Page 2
