Breathe

by Lauren Jameson

  Her cheeks were flushed pink, and her screams were mixed with laughter. She pinned him with those green eyes as the cart whipped around the final loop, momentarily suspending them upside down. She was still screaming with laughter as the coaster slowed and, finally, pulled to a stop back at the starting point.

  Elijah unbuckled his seat belt, then hers, turning fully to watch her. Samantha was looking out at the awe-inspiring view of the city, the wind whipping the fire of her hair against the creamy skin of her cheeks.

  Elijah felt his heart stutter with a new sensation. When she turned and met his stare, the truth slammed home.

  “What is it?” Samantha asked, her brow furrowing. Elijah realized that some of his emotions must have played out over his face, and he quickly smoothed his expression back out.

  “I was just wondering what it would be like to fuck you on this roller coaster.” Samantha’s eyes grew wide at his shocking words, distracting her. It was just what he had intended.

  It wasn’t fair, demanding honesty from her when he wasn’t prepared to give the same. The difference, to him at least, was that there were things Samantha didn’t seem inclined to tell him—ever.

  And the thought that had just slammed him upside the head was something he fully intended to share with her, and soon.

  But first he needed to wrap his head around the fact that he thought he might be falling in love with her.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “What a rush.” Adrenaline was pumping hot and fast through Samantha’s veins as Elijah helped her out of the roller coaster. After attempting to tame her long, tangled ponytail, she stretched and peered out at the city again as Elijah approached Ted.

  She didn’t have to look to know that Elijah was giving the man a tip for his time. Probably an exorbitantly large one.

  He liked to look after people. It seemed to be a bone-deep need inside him.

  She was finding that she really liked being taken care of.

  “Shall we?” Elijah offered her a hand, steadying her as she stepped down off the platform. Samantha laced her fingers through his and tried to think of the words she needed.

  “Thank you.” Her voice was quiet. She still wasn’t sure what had made Elijah push her to go on the coaster, or why she felt so open and happy now. She didn’t understand how he’d known she needed something like this.

  But that was Elijah. He knew what she needed, it seemed, better than she did herself.

  “Anytime,” he replied, his eyes boring into hers. She could see his hunger for her, and Samantha felt her knees tremble.

  It wasn’t the first time he had looked at her as though he wanted to eat her up. But this time there was something different in his expression—something . . . deeper.

  Need and emotion combined into something sharp and poignant, slashing through her like a blade.

  Samantha slowed, then stopped, using their entwined fingers to hold Elijah in place.

  This time she was the one who initiated the kiss. Standing on the tips of her toes, she placed her palms flat on Elijah’s chest. The muscles were taut and warm beneath her fingers as she pressed a kiss to the line of his jaw, then to his cheek, and finally to his lips.

  “Mmm . . .” Tilting his head down to meet her, he let her slant her lips over his, teasing, testing. The kiss was like the sun that shone all around them, bright and warm and addictive.

  Then Elijah tangled his hand in the length of her ponytail, his free hand splaying across the skin between her shoulder blades. He pulled her to him roughly, their bodies aligning, melting together with the heat between them.

  “Mine.” Elijah tugged on her hair as he spoke, then pressed his tongue against the seam of her lips, demanding entrance. With a moan she went pliant against him, parting her lips, letting him possess her mouth.

  This was what she had been missing her entire adult life: a man who would take control without asking for it.

  As she pondered that, Elijah continued to devour Samantha’s mouth. Her nipples hardened against the taut planes of his chest, and she rubbed against him like a cat in heat, wanting more.

  From far away, she heard the voice of Alicia Keys singing about a girl on fire. Her back pocket vibrated. Her cell was ringing.

  With a moan she decided to ignore it and pressed more fully into Elijah. She cried out when he pulled away, looking down at her with a stern expression.

  “It could be important. Answer it.”

  Samantha blinked once, twice, trying to clear the haze of lust that tinted her surroundings. Elijah looked at her, clearly waiting . . . and clearly not inclined to pick up where they’d left off until she answered the call, though the front of his slacks was tented with his arousal.

  Impatient, Samantha pried her cell out of the snug back pocket of her jeans.

  COLLINS, BETH

  A frisson of nerves hit her. Beth rarely called her, although, to be fair, it was because Samantha called her so often that her younger sister didn’t have to.

  Elijah was right. If Beth was calling, it was probably important.

  With an apologetic smile, she turned away from Elijah and walked out of earshot before accepting the call.

  “Beth?” Looking back over her shoulder, Samantha caught sight of Elijah’s face and froze. His expression was thunderous, and for a long moment she wondered what on earth she had done to deserve such ire.

  Then she understood. She’d walked away because she hadn’t wanted him to overhear her end of the conversation. She was hiding things from the man who insisted on openness and honesty. The man to whom she had promised to be completely submissive for one month.

  “What’s wrong with you?” her younger sister replied, making Samantha grind her teeth together. “You sound out of breath.”

  “Nothing,” Samantha snapped, glowering back at Elijah without thinking. “Sorry. You just caught me in the middle of something.”

  Remembering that Beth wasn’t the one she was irritated with, she softened her tone, though the edges of her irritation with Elijah remained razor sharp.

  She wasn’t a child, damn it. Just because she wanted a strong, dominant man in her life didn’t mean that she intended to divulge every burden that she carried to him.

  Her sister, her mother—they were no one’s business but her own. She didn’t intend to talk about them ever, not even if it meant that Elijah would walk away.

  If the thought of him doing just that made her heart hurt, well, that was something she would find a way to live with.

  “I’ll make it quick, then.” Beth’s voice was tight, not at all the carefree tone Samantha had come to rely on from her younger sister. Her gut clenched with nerves.

  “What’s going on?” As she spoke, Samantha mentally began calculating. She still had the check from Elijah. It had seemed wrong, somehow, to deposit it, since real feelings had begun to blossom inside her, feelings that went beyond curiosity about the submissive lifestyle.

  But if something was wrong at home with Beth, she’d use it without a second thought.

  “Are you feeling okay?” Samantha couldn’t count the nights she’d lain awake after her sister’s diagnosis, certain that Beth would die if she closed her eyes. As they’d learned more about the disease, they’d both relaxed somewhat.

  But for years in their teens, Samantha had tested her sister’s blood sugar level at the night, just to make sure. When she had seen that Samantha couldn’t sleep until she’d done so, Beth had stopped protesting.

  It was likely the same realization that kept Beth from snapping back at her, Samantha knew as she tried to calm down.

  She would never stop worrying. Forced into the role of mother so many years earlier, even when she had her own issues to work through, she now worried as if it was second nature.

  “I’m fine, Sam.” Beth’s voice held only a hint of annoyance at the interrogation. “This has nothing to do with me.”

  Samantha relaxed, just a bit, as Beth continued.

  “Yeste
rday I stopped by to bring Mom some groceries.” Beth’s tone was hesitant, and Samantha knew that her sister expected to be yelled at for using some of her money on their mother.

  Biting her tongue, Samantha said nothing.

  “She was pass—I mean, she was sleeping when I got there. Her phone was on the counter when I put the groceries away, and it rang while I was right there.” Beth sounded apprehensive. “Sam, it was Stanley. His number is programmed right in, so it can’t be the first time he’s called.”

  Samantha felt the blood drain from her face at the sound of the name that she’d tried so hard to forget.

  “What the fuck does he want?” she said bitterly, and she heard Beth suck in a breath.

  Beth knew that Stanley was bad news—Samantha had drilled it into her head every time the man had come near their family. But her sister didn’t know what exactly had transpired between Samantha and the rich man who had once kept their mother as a mistress. Samantha had made sure of it, because she had figured that at least one of them should retain some semblance of innocence.

  “I don’t know what he wants, Sam. I didn’t answer the phone,” Beth replied.

  Samantha inhaled a shuddering breath, trying to calm herself.

  She was an adult now. There was nothing that man could do to harm her, or Beth. If Gemma chose to let the asshole back into her life, that was her mother’s own idiotic decision.

  “Just tell me if he comes around, okay?” Despite the reassurances that were running through her head, Samantha felt dread balling up tightly in her belly.

  Stanley was bad news. If he was calling Gemma, it wouldn’t bode well for any of them.

  “I’ll let you know,” Beth agreed. “Love you, Sam.”

  “Love you too, Bethy,” Samantha said absently, her stomach still churning over the idea of what Stanley could possibly want with her mother. She was deep in thought as she ended the call and stuffed her phone back into her pocket.

  She shrieked, startled, when she turned to find Elijah standing directly behind her. Though he still looked angry, he seemed to have gotten control over the worst of it.

  Nerves tap-danced over her skin. How much had he heard?

  He didn’t say anything, instead simply rocked back on his heels, his hands in his pockets. He was waiting, she realized. Waiting for her to voluntarily tell him why she’d tried to hide the phone call from him.

  The knowledge that Stanley was sniffing around again had drained her, and she didn’t have any fight left. She looked up at Elijah with wide eyes and shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together.

  “I can’t tell you.” Though her voice was quiet, it was firm. This was a chapter of her life that she’d tried to put behind her. That she’d needed to put behind her, so that she could move on and live her life as a functional adult.

  When she looked up into Elijah’s eyes again, he most certainly did not look pleased.

  “What happens to subs who don’t do as they’re told?” His eyes darkened, as did his expression, and Samantha involuntarily sucked in a breath.

  When he looked at her like that, she wanted to melt and give in to him. But Beth’s phone call had left her edgy, not in full control of her emotions. So even though she wanted to look down, to submit, instead she found angry words slipping from her lips.

  “I don’t have to tell you anything.” She cringed as she spoke, well aware of how bratty she sounded, well aware that he could turn and walk away at any moment. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything else.

  “Don’t dare your Dom, little one.” Elijah stepped closer to her and threaded his hand in her hair, tugging until her scalp prickled. “You won’t like the results.”

  Her breath shuddering in and out of her lungs, she looked him right in the eyes, defiant and upset. She expected to find only displeasure, to see disappointment. And that was there, certainly.

  But so was understanding. When she saw that empathy, a tremor passed over her and the anger drained out through her.

  Dropping her stare to the ground, she sank stiffly onto her knees, wanting nothing more than to make it up to him, though she still didn’t see how she could force herself to share this part of her past with him.

  Damn it, why couldn’t he just let the past stay in the past?

  Then he cupped her chin, forcing her to look up into his eyes, and she forgot everything except the need to please him.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, and contrition was a tight band around her heart. She was so damn mad at herself.

  She’d finally found what she wanted—who she wanted—and she couldn’t let go of the past long enough to grab hold of it with both hands.

  “It’s too late for sorry, Samantha.”

  Her heart pounded as her gaze zeroed in on him. What—? Was he saying—?

  “Since openness and honesty continue to be an issue with you, and verbal warnings haven’t worked, let’s try something else.” Elijah began to slowly undo his belt buckle, and Samantha watched intently as her stomach did a slow roll.

  He meant to punish her, right here, right on the rooftop of this hotel with Ted not twenty feet away. He would order her to suck his cock, or to use her hands . . . something.

  Along with the kernel of fear, she felt an undeniable wash of heat.

  “I see that the idea of punishment excites you.” In full-on Dom mode like this, Elijah barely seemed to be the same person who had on occasion demonstrated such tenderness. His voice was layered with something that made her want to obey.

  “Since you haven’t earned the privilege of pleasure, I think I’ll withhold it for now.” A streak of cruelty colored his voice, and Samantha roused to it.

  “Stand and remove your jeans.”

  Pulled to her feet as though she were a puppet and he held the strings, Samantha looked over Elijah’s shoulder at the control booth for the roller coaster. Ted was standing in front of it, hands in his pockets, watching intently but not moving a muscle.

  It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse, but a flicker of something in Elijah’s eyes gave her pause.

  He expected her to back down. Thought she would use her safe word.

  Damn him! There were parts of submission that didn’t come easily to her, but she was here because she wanted to be.

  Grinding her teeth together, she undid the button and zipper of her pants. The hint of surprise that passed over Elijah’s face had grim satisfaction welling inside her.

  Toeing off her sneakers, Samantha slid the stiff denim and soft lace of the clothes that Elijah had provided for her just that morning to the concrete beneath her feet and stepped out of them. Forcing herself to stare at the ground, she tangled the fingers of both hands together and waited. Every nerve in her body was on fire.

  “Face away from me.”

  Wanting with every fiber of her being to look up, to try to discern his feelings from his face, Samantha instead did as she was told.

  “Bend your knees and place your hands on your thighs.”

  Samantha shivered as she followed the instructions. As she rested her sweaty palms on tense thigh muscles, she grimaced at the sensation of exposure.

  She felt like a naughty child, about to receive a spanking . . . which she very likely was. And the most perverse part of it all was that, mixed in with the humiliation, was an unfamiliar deep need.

  She wanted to be punished for not obeying orders. Wanted him to give her no other choice than to tell him everything.

  She heard the belt whistle through the air seconds before it landed on her backside. A choked cry escaped her as the bite of the leather shocked her senses, making her jolt forward.

  “I’m not into extreme pain, Samantha. You know that.” Another sharp smack on her ass, another jolt. “And I’m not pleased that you’ve forced my hand, though that vanilla skin of yours does redden very nicely.”

  Tears sparkled in her eyes as the third blow landed. Her ass was incredibly sore already, and she didn’t know how much mo
re pain she could take. Yet despite the undeniable discomfort, she could feel herself growing wet and needy. Wanting him to fill that aching place inside her.

  “I’m doing this because words aren’t getting through to you. I’m very nearly at the end of my patience.”

  “No!” Panic was sharp and flashed bright inside her, and she tried to stand, to turn and face Elijah. But one final lash of the belt landed right over her mound before she could fully straighten, and arousal snapped through her hot and tight, making her moan aloud.

  She waited, tensed, for the next blow. Instead, she heard the sound of leather rubbing against cloth as Elijah worked his belt back through the loops of his jeans. The panting of their breath, his and hers, was quickly carried away by the wind on the rooftop.

  A single scalding tear spilled over, the wind drying it almost before it had fallen. Samantha shuddered, full of too many emotions, ablaze with arousal that only needed one more small touch to break free.

  “Turn and kneel.”

  Samantha obeyed instantly, dropping to her knees on the hard concrete. It was rough and scraped at her naked skin, but she didn’t care.

  Over Elijah’s shoulder she could see Ted. Somehow, she’d completely forgotten that he was even there.

  “Look at me.” Elijah’s voice was slightly softer, and when Samantha looked up she saw that he was feeling just as undone as she was.

  “Tell me what you did wrong, Samantha, and apologize.” The expression that lay behind those eyes, as blue as the brilliant sky around them, was less scary than it had been earlier, but Samantha saw that he still wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

  “I tried to hide something from you. I’m sorry.” She meant every word. And more, as she looked up at Elijah, she found that she wanted to share everything with him—wanted to so badly that she could taste it.

  Somehow she knew that he could make the nightmares go away. But as she tried her best to form the words and share her burden with him, they still wouldn’t come. She’d locked them down so deep that they were entirely petrified. Frantic, she searched Elijah’s face. Something flickered through his eyes as he saw that she still wasn’t talking, and then his expression became shuttered, neutral.