“Only one memory? I can't pick just one!” I laugh. “Hmm. I would have to say the night we first met. He rode the trolley and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him or his gorgeous hair. Man, I just wanted to run my fingers through his hair!” The other girls shriek with laughter at my description of his thick locks.
I continue, “If Chelsea and Mike had been on time that night, I might never have gotten to know Chase.”
Chelsea interrupts, “Wait. Just wait. That is not true. Mike and I were still up when he got home and he could not stop talking about you. And all the next day, all we heard was Kate, Kate, Kate.” We laugh at her fake mocking tone and then she goes on, “If you hadn't spent hours together that night, Chase would have made sure that he went back the next night to find you.”
“He did come back the next night. He rode the trolley all four times! And it was freezing that night!” I giggle.
“See?” Chelsea giggles. “It was love at first sight. People say that's not possible, but it happened with you and Chase.”
“Yeah. It sure did.” I quietly admit.
Dani changes the course of conversation with next surprising question: “So, have you and Chase...you know?”
My eyes shoot wide open and I yell, “Dani! Did you not notice his sister is sitting right here???”
Chelsea assures me, “It's okay. I've had sex before,” she giggles, showing off her huge baby belly. “But, yeah, when you're talking about my brother, I might not want too many details.” She makes kind of a sick face.
I notice that Scarlett is silent and seems a little uncomfortable. I quickly assure her – and everyone else – that no, we have not been intimate yet. “We're waiting until our wedding night.”
Dani looks astonished, but then smiles and says, “That's cool.”
Scarlett has a small smile on her face.
“Wow, anyway, let's talk about something else, shall we?” I suggest.
We move on to talking about boyfriends and husbands, babies and families, movies. We finally agree that it's time to start a chick flick. Dani flicks through the available movies and pauses on one in particular.
“No!” I almost shout.
A questioning glance from Dani prompts me to explain. “Fiona and I had a movie-fest the night before Chase's surgery. We watched this one. I needed something to do to keep me from freaking out. We fell asleep until Mrs. Nichols called in the morning. She told me Chase was dead.” I finish with my voice barely audible.
I choke on the sobs that are threatening. “It was only a matter of minutes before my dad clarified that, although his heart had stopped, the doctors had revived him, but they were the longest minutes in my life. I felt like I was going to die.” I'm bawling now and the other girls are swarming me with hugs and kisses.
I regain control and tell them, “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such a downer. This is supposed to a fun weekend, right?”
Scarlett tells me, “It's an important part of what happened to you – what happened to all of us – when Chase ended up in a coma. You have to work through memories like that. It's not healthy to just never talk about it.”
Chelsea contributes, “I was at my OB's office for a pregnancy checkup. I answered my phone during the appointment, which I never would have done otherwise. I told my doctor about Chase's situation, and she was cool with it. After I hung up, I started crying right in front of her. I felt like I was going to throw up. Luckily my doctor was able to comfort me and offer me some helpful insights into comas.”
“I did throw up,” I tell her.
We all engage in another group hug and then we decide instead to watch a goofy slapstick movie.
After Chelsea and Dani have fallen asleep, Scarlett tells me, “I'm proud of you and Chase for waiting. He's always been such a gentleman, so respectful.”
I nod in agreement. “It hasn't been easy, but I'm glad we are.” I'm not sure if it's any of my business, but Scarlett treats me like a true friend, so I ask, “What about you and Dave? I mean, I'm assuming you have the same arrangement – waiting until you're married.”
She nods.
Of course they are, I think.
“Chase never mentioned anything about Dave's faith, but you're such a strong Christian, I'm sure he must be, too....”
“He wasn't always a Christian. I knew early on that he wanted to get serious with me, but I would never consider him unless I knew he was serious about the Lord. I didn't challenge him or anything. I think he just approached God on his own and knew he had to be open to a life of faith if he wanted a chance with me.”
“That's amazing,” I remark. “I'm glad Chase and Dave are such good friends. I'm so thankful for you, too. It's going to be hard when we move away for Chase to go to medical school.”
“We'll keep in touch, I promise,” Scarlett grins.
The next day, we hit the mall. We shop for shoes and nylons and earrings for the wedding. And yes, the girls help me decide on something attractive, but not sleazy, for my wedding night. We spend hours in a particularly quaint baby boutique and I think we have bought enough clothes for Chelsea's baby to last him until college.
After yet another wonderful dinner, we retire to the hotel room, this time with a gallon of ice cream and four plastic spoons.
Once everyone else is asleep, Scarlett and I stay up talking again.
“So how are you and Chase doing? I know it was really hard for you when he wanted to postpone the wedding.”
“We're great. Back to where we were before; well, even better. I guess that going through some struggles has helped us solidify our commitment to each other. I've never been more sure of our love for each other.”
Scarlett laughs, “You and Chase have been through more in the last few months than most couples go through in twenty years! I'm pretty sure you are prepared for whatever life throws at you.”
“I agree, but I hope that we don't have to face anything else for a long time!” I close my eyes. “It's been good, though. I've realized that Chase and I will need support from other people. We can't be everything for each other.” I meet Scarlett's gaze. “Most of all, I realized that I need to get my strength from God.”
Scarlett becomes very serious. “He uses everything – even the worst times in our lives – to draw us closer to Him. Can I pray with you?” She asks. I nod, and she says a very simple prayer while holding my hand.
“God our Father, thank You for bringing Kate and Chase together. Thank You for speaking to her heart and helping her to know that You are the One who loves her more than anything. Help Kate to know more and more how to receive Your love and to love You in return. Amen.”
Scarlett's words are once again simple, nothing earth-shattering. Yet I feel a profound peace. I am overwhelmed with the deep realization that God loves me. He loves me more than anyone else in the world could love me, which is amazing, since I know how furiously Chase loves me. I finally know what it means to have a relationship with God.
I can't wait to tell Chase.
“Guess what?” I playfully ask when I get home the next day.
He just shakes his head.
“Scarlett prayed with me last night. I thought I was a Christian before, but I've realized, as we've gone through everything in the past few months that I need to trust God more. I need to have a relationship with Him. Scarlett listened a lot, especially when you told me you didn't want to get married yet – and encouraged me to pursue a relationship with God, so I asked her how to do that, and she told me that there are many ways to talk to God and hear God, and that I just have to be open to God, and -”
Chase pulls me into the tightest hug he can manage with one arm. “You're talking a lot again,” he says, reminding me of the night we first met.
I have tears in my eyes when I tell him, “I think it's because I'm falling in love again.”
Chapter 26
It is a crystal clear day. The sun is shining and feels warm on our skin, even though the air is still cool. Lake Super
ior is pristine; there is almost no wind, so it looks like a sea of glass. I can see the outlines of my favorite rocks submerged just below the surface. It smells wonderful and fresh with the delicate new buds of spring. I scan the beautiful surroundings of my favorite bluff, the highest bluff in Michigan, Lover's Lookout.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God for what He has done in my life over the past six months. He brought Chase and me together. He preserved Chase's life through the surgery and afterward. He saved me and healed me after my truck accident. He helped Chase and me to strengthen and solidify our love, and most importantly, to make Him the center of it all.
My dad walks up to the trolley, which actually made the steep climb. He holds out his hand and Marcus takes the other one. They help me to step gracefully down off the last step. Marcus seems to have grown into a young man overnight, looking quite dapper in his tuxedo, and even giving me a hug as I steady myself on the ground. I chuckle as I look down at my shoes, bought with the pennies from Oma's jar.
My mom rushes in to straighten my veil and Fiona takes hold of the train on my gown. Dani carries my flowers. I chose a few classic roses with some of the spring flowers native to the Upper Peninsula – little bits of lily of the valley and even some lilacs.
Chelsea waddles over with her huge belly and she leans in to kiss my cheek affectionately. I touch her belly and feel the baby squirm. They have already decided to name him Chase Michael and he will make his appearance in a month or so. Chelsea disappears around the front of the trolley again to take her place in the procession.
I observe the wedding party, knowing that Chase is keeping himself hidden as best he can behind the gazebo that has been temporarily constructed. Dave is his best man. He is waiting near the gazebo with Mike and Marcus.
Dani is my maid of honor. She hands me my bouquet. The fragrant flowers tickle my fingers. She looks stunning in her scarlet chiffon haltered dress, along with Fiona, Chelsea and Scarlett.
I try to steal another glance at the guests. Who else is here? I catch sight of Oma's white bun.
Chase's parents begin their walk down the aisle. My friends will be next, and then it will be my turn.
We make our way around the side of the trolley. The music begins. I'm fighting to hold back tears and know that I will have to keep them under control or I will never make it through the ceremony. When my bridesmaids have reached the far end of the red carpet, I catch sight of Chase. He is standing on a small area of red carpet, underneath the gazebo. He looks absolutely dashing. I can tell that he is holding back tears as well. I bite my lip to control my own.
There have been so many tears over the past few months. I'm sure I've cried more since December than I had in my whole life up until then. I never thought it was a sign of strength to cry. But in crying and making myself vulnerable, I've learned to find strength in new ways.
Chase still uses his crutches. He worked through the frustration and he is as agile as he was when I first met him. The experimental treatment didn't seem to work as well as he had hoped; at least not yet. But he has made his peace with the outcome. His legs may improve and they may not. But he is still the strongest person I've ever known.
Either way, he is grateful to be alive.
And I am grateful to be moments away from becoming his wife.
When my dad takes my arm to lead me down the aisle and give me away, I find that all the tears are gone. When I reach Chase, he gazes at me with new-found love and respect.
“You're so beautiful,” he whispers. He shakes my father's hand, takes my arm and turns toward the pastor.
We sneak little glances at each other throughout the ceremony. I can't keep my eyes off of him, but I know I have to pay attention. I feel like a little kid again.
When it's time to say our vows, I absorb every single word he says to me. I look him directly in the eyes so that he knows I mean every single vow as well:
To have and to hold,
From this day forward,
I will love you and honor you,
For better or for worse,
For richer or for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
Until death do us part.
When we seal our vows with a kiss, our guests explode into applause so loud that it echoes over Lake Superior.
We board the trolley together to make the trek back down to the Westchester. I stand on the ramp with Chase as Sam draws us up. I can't keep myself from kissing him. I'm sure our families will have to pry me away when we arrive at our reception.
The Westchester ballroom is small, but several sets of french doors open out to a massive balcony. A billowy white tent is set up on the balcony to offer more space. It's a perfect arrangement since none of us knew what to expect for the weather in early May. It's a gorgeous day, so the doors are all open to the tent, and the space doubles in size.
After dinner, Chase and I make the traditional rounds to each guest table, to greet them and thank them for coming. We start with his family. Oma greets me with a huge welcome-to-the-family hug. “Now you have babies,” she says in her blunt way. I laugh and think, I can't wait to get started. I show her the shoes I picked out with her pennies.
Dr. Nichols hugs me so tight I almost lose my breath. “Welcome to the family, Kate.” He leaves a kiss on my cheek and tears in my eyes.
Chase never ceases to amaze me. The DJ introduces the wedding party, and then Chase and I have our first dance. We didn't practice. I just trust him.
He slides one of his crutches up to his elbow and wraps his arm around my waist. He pulls me close with one arm and balances himself – and us – with the other.
It doesn't matter that the song we chose isn't particularly slow. It's our song. And we dance to it. He even sings along with a few lines, telling me that I make him strong. I'm sure the boys in One Direction would be proud if they knew how meaningful this song is to us.
We celebrate for hours with our family and friends, and yes, even Dr. Carbondale, who made the drive all the way from Madison. After several dances, Chase leads me out to the balcony to show me something I hadn't noticed yet. He rented two telescopes for guests to do some stargazing.
After celebrating into the night, we excuse ourselves. I am overwhelmed that the moment has finally come when we don't have to say good-bye anymore.
Our wedding night is absolutely worth the wait.
Epilogue
I'm lying in bed, trying to get as comfortable as possible, hoping to drift off quickly. Exhaustion has been the status quo for the past several months. It takes a lot of effort to haul around the extra 50 lbs. that have been added to my petite frame over the past nine months. Two babies, lots of cheeseburgers, and a ton of water weight.
Yes, two babies. It didn't take long for Chase and I to discover that we had no problem conceiving. We found out we were expecting shortly after our first anniversary.
I roll my gigantic belly over to the side and try to adjust myself so that my back, knees and hips don't hurt. This is not an easy task since everything is weighed down by our babies.
Chase reaches over to rub my back for a few minutes. “Can't sleep again, hey?”
“Never,” I respond wearily.
After 10 or 15 minutes of desperately failing to get comfortable, I hoist myself out of bed and lumber to the bathroom.
Even using the toilet is an ordeal at this stage of the game. Once I've positioned myself accurately, I have a bizarre sensation and then I feel a giant gush. I remain seated for several minutes, trying to process what has happened.
Oh, my. This is the real thing.
My water broke.
I'm not quite sure how to put myself back together enough to make it back to the bedroom. Thankfully, Chase's robe is hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I strip off my pajamas and throw on the robe in order to hobble back to the bedroom.
Chase is still awake. “Everything okay?”
“Well, no,” I laugh nervously. “My water just broke.�
��
I've never seen him move so fast.
“Slow down, Baby,” I laugh at his clumsiness as he scrambles for his crutches and then his clothes. “These babies are going to take their time, I think. You know what the doctor said about my first time in labor. I haven't even had a contraction yet.”
That fact changes as Chase and I descend the stairs in our house. I stop on the third step and groan with the discomfort. The pain definitely feels different than all the little cramps and tightening sensations I've had for the past several weeks. The contraction lasts only a few seconds; I laugh as it subsides. The look on Chase's face is priceless – something between confusion, happiness and terror.
“It's fine,” I reassure him. “It was a small one, but I'm pretty sure it was real.”
I fully expect to go through many hours of labor. I've heard every horror story about endless labors and hours of pushing for hours to deliver first babies. I also fully expect to feel every single bit of it. There is no way I'm getting a needle shoved into my back after watching what Chase went through. I realize that spinal surgery is much different than a simple epidural, but I'm not taking any chances. These babies will hopefully arrive within a day. I can endure anything for a day. I survived when Chase almost died, so I'm pretty sure I can survive anything.
I have a few more contractions on the way to the hospital, short and strong enough to make me whimper. Chase reaches over to rub my arm, my hand, my back or whatever he can reach. I laugh and tell him to keep his hands on the wheel. But in my head, I'm rehearsing the breathing patterns that we've learned in our childbirth classes. I'm not going to admit it to Chase, but the first few contractions have been far more intense than I expected. And I'm pretty sure they're not very far apart.
Chase stops in front of the emergency entrance at U of M Hospital. He races around to my side of the car. He swings the door open and I grab his wrist, “Baby, look at me.” He locks onto me with those beautiful coppery eyes. “Please be careful. I can't have you falling and breaking a leg while I'm in labor. This hospital visit is about these babies, not you escaping to a hospital bed and watching cable TV while I bring our children into this world!”
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