Semper Mine

by Lizzy Ford

  My eyes are blurring as I stare outside the window at the forest. I blink back tears.

  “Kitty-Khav,” Petr says, stretching his arm back over his head towards me.

  I reach forward and take his hand. He squeezes.

  “We’ve never been out here without Mikael,” he explains to Captain Mathis.

  He doesn’t deserve to know. I want to say something, walking be damned, but there’s a lump in my throat that prevents me from speaking.

  Captain Mathis catches my eye in the rearview mirror. His attention lingers for a moment before shifting back to the road. He doesn’t say anything, and I glare at the back of his head.

  Of all the people my brothers served with, why does he get to be here?

  “We’ll be okay, Katya,” Petr tells me gently. “You keep making cookies, and I’ll keep working out.”

  I don’t want to smile, but I do. I love my Petr so much. I didn’t simply put my life on hold for the past four months, I straight out ditched everything to be with him. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, too, even if I’m not sure how things will ever go back to normal. My life is a disaster right now.

  Deal with that later, Kitty-Khav, I tell myself. Someday I’ll have to pick up the pieces but not today.

  “Oh, god, you didn’t invite Harris.”

  I lean to see what Petr is looking at. The camp is less than a quarter a mile ahead, and a group of men and one woman are out front of the log cabin welcome center, at the flagpoles. There are three men clumped together, guys I recognize from pictures Mikael sent home. Even if I didn’t know they’re members of his and Petr’s teams, it’d be obvious by the way they were built and how they moved.

  “We’re even,” I reply.

  “I can’t stand him, Katya.”

  I’m not about to tell him I didn’t invite Harris Westwood the Third, either. I had nothing to do with the list of camp counselors, or Captain Mathis never would’ve made the cut. I imagine one of our father’s assistants put together the list of camp counselors and chose Harris because of how close his family is to ours.

  “Who’s Harris?” Captain Mathis asks.

  “A friend,” I reply curtly.

  “He’s been stalking you since you were sixteen,” Petr retorts. “Like a wolf after a sheep. Not the good stalking.”

  “You’ve never spoken to him for more than five minutes, and I traveled to Europe and South America with him,” I point out. “He’s not a wolf or stalking me. He’s a friend.” Sorta. In truth, Harris makes me uneasy sometimes, because he can be a little too intense. Not sexy-boyfriend intense. More like … obsessive serial killer intense. “You’ll get along well with him, Captain Mathis.”

  “I trust your brother’s judgment,” Captain Mathis replies.

  “Maybe I should show him my leg, let him know how painful it is to have a limb cut off,” Petr says.

  “Keep that thing in your pants, Petr,” I respond.

  Captain Mathis chuckles. “I don’t think your team will let anyone near your sister, Khav.”

  “I can take care of myself,” I reply. “I don’t need violent meatheads running my life.”

  Petr says nothing, probably knowing there’s nothing safe to say.

  “Remember. No jumping. No running unless it’s on the track or treadmill. Any pain or discomfort, and we –“ I start, going down the list of things the doctor warned me about.

  Petr pretends to listen. I have a feeling his attention is on his friends, who he hasn’t seen since he came home.

  Captain Mathis parks, and we all exit his monster truck. He goes to greet those he knows, while I wait with Petr. My attention shifts briefly to the flags flying above us. The US flag is at the top of the pole. Beneath it flies one with Mikael’s picture, like he’s looking out for us. It’s a nice thought, one I hope is true.

  My foolish brother, Petr, is already lugging around packs as big as I am. He hauls it out of the truck bed with no apparent strain.

  “Do you want help?” I ask, itching to assist.

  “No, sis.” He grunts and slings it over his back. “You didn’t bring a sleeping bag?”

  “Why would I?” I reply.

  “Um, if you’re a counselor, don’t you sleep here overnight?” He gazes down at me, amused, his blue eyes sparkling.

  Shit. I glance at the forest. I love it during the day. At night, when there are bugs and spiders and it’s cold, I’m not as much of a fan.

  But if Petr’s staying, so am I. “I guess.” Sometimes I worry too much about him and end up messing up my own circumstances.

  “Have Zach bring you some stuff,” he recommends.

  Zach is one of our father’s assistants. Nodding, I pull out my cell and type him a note.

  Petr goes to the others. Their loud greetings and bear hugs draw my gaze. I smile, thrilled to see the huge grin on his face. Captain Mathis is the only one in uniform, which doesn’t surprise me. He strikes me as the kind of guy who is never really off the clock.

  “Not your usual ride,” Harris says, approaching. Handsome and lean, he’s got a trust fund the size of mine and aspirations of following his father into the family business one day. He’s smiling, but there is never warmth in his eyes. It’s one of the reasons that I sometimes don’t like being around him. He can be moodier than me, too, which I have no patience for.

  “No,” I say. “Good to see you, Harris.” I give him a quick hug.

  “Always happy to help your family, Kat,” he responds. “None of us knew how to show our support, so we jumped at the chance when Zach called.”

  Then he says something sweet like this, and I tell the little voice inside me that thinks he’s creepy to shut up. With a father who doesn’t trust anyone and brothers convinced terrorists live in our basement, it’s sometimes hard for me to forget that normal people don’t suspect everyone around them of being up to no good.

  “Thank you so much, Harris!” I squeeze him hard.

  He laughs. “Anything for you, Kat.”

  “Katya!” Petr calls.

  I release Harris to see Petr waving me over. The others are gazing at me, except for Captain Mathis, who is looking at Harris.

  I go and wrap my arms around Petr.

  “My sister, Katya,” he introduces me and bear hugs me back. “Hasn’t left my side in four fucking months.”

  “Language, Petr,” I murmur.

  He rolls his eyes. “This is my team. Captain Mathis you met, Riley Holland from the Navy SEALs, Ian Schneider from Air Force special ops, Carson Gray – a Green Beret Mikael and I trained with – and of course, Army Captain Harper Jacobson. She’s our bridge between the no man’s land where we operate and the rest of the world.”

  “Nice to meet you all.” I shake hands with everyone except Captain Mathis. Knowing how rough things are where my brothers operate, I’m surprised to meet a woman among those he considers his teammates. Harper is toned and taller than me with a quick smile. I like her at once, especially knowing her job was to take care of my brothers.

  “Oh, and Harris.” Petr motions to the man standing a few feet behind me. The way he says it irritates me, but I keep quiet for once, wanting to know a bit more about those he considers friends.

  There are eight of us total to act as camp counselors and kid wranglers for the one-week program. I’m starting to think I should’ve paid more attention when Zack and Baba were explaining what being a counselor entailed. I’m not too keen on camping.

  Petr is so happy, though, that there’s no part of me that’s about to complain about being stuck in the forest for a week.

  Since joining the military, Petr has a life I can’t relate to. I felt left out many holidays when he and Mikael would return with stories about people they knew and places they’d been. This time, I get to meet his friends, and to spend a week with the man he’s become …

  … while also ensuring he doesn’t do anything that the doctor has forbidden. I may not have brought my sleeping bag, but I’ve got a list in m
y pocket with activities he’s not allowed to perform and emergency numbers if he does.

  “Welcome!” My father’s booming voice draws everyone’s attention. He’s standing on the porch of the reception and activity center. His eyes are glowing, his burly form dressed in jeans and a light sweater. “Come in, all of you!” Larger than life, my father is the reason my brothers turned out to be the characters they are. I take after my mother, who my father describes as more delicate.

  I just remember her temper and how disappointed she was that I didn’t have her talent to become a ballerina. And of course, the night she died in a fire. The scarring on my back from that horrible night is the reason I don’t wear anything but long-sleeved shirts. No bathing suits or tshirts or pretty little blouses.

  Father shakes hands with everyone then hugs Petr and me before we go in. There are six chairs at one long table with a full bag in front of each. Sitting beside Petr, I look through its contents.

  There are a couple of polos we’re supposed to wear to identify us as counselors, emergency first aid kits, dangerous insect and animal identification sheets, lists of children’s names with special information by each, emergency procedures and contact information for everyone here …

  I pull out the black belt. It’s got a couple spots for attaching water bottles, knives, and I’m not sure what else. I try it on to make sure it fits and leave it. With some irritation, I see that the polos in my bag are all short-sleeved. There’s a reason I don’t wear short sleeves, one that everyone who might’ve put together the bags should know.

  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who made sure I got short sleeves. She’s standing in front of me, smiling.

  “You’ll be partnered up and work in teams with your assigned kids,” Brianna, the eighth counselor, already wearing a polo, says, handing out team assignments. Beautiful and perky with light brown hair and more makeup than I think belongs in a forest, she dated Mikael and Petr both over the years.

  We never really got along for a few reasons. In addition to tormenting me in school about the scars on my back, she crushed Mikael’s heart to date Petr then dumped him last year, after he thought they were getting married some day.

  He still likes her. It doesn’t hurt that she’s gorgeous and successful.

  Which are all reasons why I can’t stand her. Aside from her screwing over my brothers, she also likes to remind me that I never really know what I want to do with my life.

  “You’ll be joined at the hip with your partner for the extent of this,” Brianna continues. “Since part of what we’re doing is a competition, we tried to match up the teams so it’s not too easy for one team to win.” Her gaze is on the guy Petr introduced as Riley, the SEAL.

  He winks at her with a smile. The biggest of all of them, it’s no wonder she’s gunning for him first.

  But it pisses me off, knowing my brother still cares for her. She didn’t visit him once in the hospital.

  “It’s okay, Kitty-Khav.” Petr leans over to say. With all the time we spent together, he’s able to read me as easily as I can him. “I’m over that.” He’s smiling and appears to be sincere.

  If I had any doubt, the bitch would be on the floor right now, unconscious.

  Brianna reaches me and hands out my team information. Six kids are listed on the page.

  And then I see who my partner is.

  No way in hell.

  Chapter Five: Sawyer

  Fuck. Next to my name on the sheet the cute brunette handed out is Katya’s name. Being around her is about as pleasant as being pinned down in a firefight – without any weapons. Of the three civilians I could’ve been paired with, I’d take Harris over Katya, even knowing how right Petr is about the guy. I don’t need to talk to him to sense there’s something really off about him.

  War brings out courage in those who never thought themselves capable of it. It can also shine a light on the darkness in someone’s soul, when they’re pushed to the point where they don’t just snap, they take everyone down with them.

  Harris is one of those men. If he hasn’t snapped yet, he will one day, and it won’t be pleasant.

  I could really use my good luck charm this week. I’m still upset with myself for losing it in the battle that took Mikael’s life. It was given to me by the Marine who inspired me to join, an heirloom of sorts passed to him from his grandfather, who served in World War One. I had carried it with me for ten years, since I was sixteen.

  “Can we swap partners?” Katya asks.

  Equally dissatisfied with my luck, I’m surprised she has the balls to ask for a new one. I’m not the one who’s wearing heels and forgot a sleeping bag, and I’d never throw mud on her or disrespect Petr by admitting out loud I don’t want shit to do with her.

  “Who you got?” Petr asks, leaning over to see her paper. His gaze flies up to mine. He smiles. “Everyone here wants Captain Mathis. He’s always got his shit together and never loses.”

  “Then someone here will be happy to swap with me,” she replies coolly.

  The guys exchange looks around me, not sure what to make of her insistence.

  “I’ll trade you, Sawyer,” Harris offers.

  “Nope. No swaps,” Petr says quickly. “Captain Mathis is the best man out here, and that’s who you’re teamed up with.”

  By the astonished look on Katya’s face, her brother has never put his foot down before.

  I’ll admit, as childish as it sounds, the fact she wants nothing to do with me provokes the side of me that wants to show her why she’s wrong. Again. I’m not sure how this girl gets under my skin, but she does.

  “I need long-sleeved shirts,” Katya says, peering with dissatisfaction into her bag.

  What is with her? I’m ready to write her and her shirts off as crazy when Brianna responds.

  “Something wrong with short sleeves? Fat arms or a few scars you don’t want anyone to see?” she laughs.

  Katya’s face is red. I’m thinking there’s some knowledge between the two about the shirts. I can’t begin to guess what it is, or why I have a feeling Katya and Brianna are going to be at each other’s throats this week.

  The awkward silence that falls is interrupted by Mr. Khavalov.

  “It is with my deepest gratitude that I thank you all,” he says in his thick accent. “Mikael meant the world to Petr, Katya and me. That you all have come so far to honor him, honors us, too. We are here to honor Mikael and use his legacy to help children who have lost a parent. He was a noble man, and this is a noble cause.”

  It’s truly an incredible thing they’ve done here. It makes me view Katya in a little better light, knowing that her general hatred towards me stems from love for her brothers. I respect her loyalty, even if her anger leaves me wishing for a new partner for the week.

  “I think I speak for everyone here when I say it’s an honor to be here today, Mr. Khavalov,” I respond. “Mikael would be proud, and this is a touching way to remember him and help others.”

  Mr. Khavalov smiles. “I like you, Captain Mathis.” He chuckles. “Come! Brianna will show you all the grounds.”

  We all gather our bags and trail the sexy brunette out of the welcome center. She leads us around the small but modern campsite, explaining everything. While the log structures and stone walkways are quaint, the camp has modern amenities like private showers, air conditioned dorms with high quality beds and wardrobes, and a mess hall that I immediately wish I’d had at any point in my career. There’s an immense obstacle course, swimming pools, horse stables, and other activities, in addition to the camp sitting on a lake with pristine paddleboats loosely corralled by a rope near a new dock.

  It’s clear the Khavalovs put a great deal of money into the camp, another sign of how serious they are about honoring Mikael.

  Each set of partners is assigned a dorm, where we’ll stay with the kids on our team. We’re given an hour to set up then instructions to go to the reception center for some team building exercises.<
br />
  I go to my truck to grab my gear and return to the barracks I’ve been assigned with Katya. Each entrance to a barracks is decorated by a flag in a different color. We’re the blue team.

  Walking around the interior, she’s got her arms crossed and is peering into corners.

  I’m not even going to ask. I go to the back, where there’s a break room stocked with healthy snacks and water, a laundry room and a second room for the counselors with two bunk beds and two sets of dressers. We have our own bathroom while the kids have a larger, community one they share with the others.

  I’m not sure how the two of us are going to sleep in the same room. She seems like the kind who might try to kill me in my sleep. Might be a good thing I rarely sleep.

  “Any preference as to which rack you want, ma’am?” I call.

  “No.”

  I claim one side of the room. It takes me ten minutes to make my bed, position everything in drawers, and stow the rest out of sight, ensuring an aesthetically pleasing room.

  “You don’t have to do that,” she says from the doorway.

  I glance at her. “Do what?”

  “That.” She’s pointing at the corners of my bed, which are crisp and tight. “You can relax.”

  “Discipline stems from routine,” I reply automatically.

  “Right. They don’t let you jarheads think, do they?” She sighs and walks in, gazing around, unimpressed with our comfortable quarters. “You allergic to peppermint?”

  “No.”

  “Okay, good.” Katya goes to the corner and pulls a dark glass bottle from her large purse. Pinching the top of the dropper-lid, she deposits a few drops of something into the corner.

  “What is that?” I ask.

  “Peppermint oil. Keeps spiders away.”

  No sleeping bag or halfway decent shoes, but she remembers bug repellant? I don’t think this woman has an ounce of sense.