by Liza James
But his eyes were covered with fire, a billowing cloud burning behind his pupils. I honestly wasn’t sure if he was actually seeing me, if that made sense. Instead, I think he was trying to fight through his rage. The grip he held on my wrist became tighter, and I felt the indentations of his fingers embedding themselves into my skin. I heard Savannah take a sharp breath in before I heard another voice growl behind me.
“Let. Her. Fucking. Go,” it said, and it took me a second to realize Cade was pressed up against my back. His arm was wrapped around my waist in a protective, possessive stance. I turned my head back and forth between the two and saw the obvious challenge in Cade’s eyes.
Tyler seemed to be questioning what path to take next when my voice cut through the tension like a hot knife. “Tyler, please. You’re going to hurt me.” I was trying to ignore the slight pain I felt rising in my wrist.
But he didn’t react quickly enough and, before I knew it, Cade had ripped Tyler’s grip from my arm and shoved him back against the wall, pinning him with only one hand against his chest when Tyler came back to reality.
“Me? You’re worried about me hurting her? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Cade. After last night? I’m not the one you should be worried about.” Tyler’s voice was dripping with poison and, while I thought he may have had the initial intentions of making sure I was safe when he came here, I realized now his purpose had turned much more toxic.
“What the fuck are you talking about? The fight? I left with her last night, Tyler. Nothing happened! I would never touch her like that, and you know I wouldn’t.” I could see the confusion lining Cade’s face, settling in the lines that had formed between his eyebrows. He knew the gist of what happened last night, but I don’t think he remembered every detail.
“Guys, please can we stop? Tyler ... just leave. I don’t know how you found out where I lived, but I want you to go.” I moved toward the two of them, resting my hand on Cade’s back while I noticed Savannah moving toward our door, ready to open it for Tyler’s departure.
“What? You don’t want to tell him what actually happened last night? What he let happen to you because he was so fucking wasted?” Tyler was speaking to me, but the smug look on his face was devoted solely to Cade.
Cade glanced down at me, his face softening from confusion but still taught with frustration. “What is he talking about, Bambi? You came and got me and we went home, right?”
I didn’t want to have this conversation right now. After all, it was never Cade’s fault that Devon had shoved me. That was Devon’s decision and his alone, Cade had nothing to do with it. However, I had a feeling that Cade would beat himself up over it and it sounded like Tyler knew he would too.
“Yes, that’s what happened, okay? Now, let Tyler go so he can leave.” I didn’t feel like I was really lying. That is technically what happened, minus a few minor details.
Just then I caught Cade’s eyes drift down my body, but instead of looking at me the way he usually did, with a passion lighting behind his eyes, I realized he was grazing over my skin, inspecting me and looking for anything unusual. I looked down as well, unsure of what he would find when I noticed several small, blueish marks lining my elbow on the arm that Devon had grabbed when he pulled me back and I fell to the ground. Looking at it closely, I realized it was the exact place Devon had gripped me, his fingers having been so tight that they left bruises. In the moment I hadn’t even realized how hard he had yanked me backwards.
Cade’s hand immediately fell from Tyler’s chest when he noticed the same thing, and he quickly turned to face me. Gently, he pulled my hand into his and stretched out my arm so that he could look closer. It wasn’t anything serious, they were hardly there, but they were visible, and I watched as Cade’s face crumbled at the sight of them.
“Tell me what these are. Now. I didn’t—”
“What? No, no no no. Absolutely not. You didn’t ... you would never.” I brought my hand up to the side of his face. Concern etched his every feature as he turned back Tyler.
“Tell me what happened.” He knew I wasn’t going to tell him the details of last night.
“Well, let me see. You got fucking trashed and let Devon convince you to a fight when you couldn’t fight back. Then when Bambi over here stepped in to stop you, Devon grabbed her and threw her to the ground. And you know what you did about it? You tripped. Because you couldn’t fucking stand, Cade. You did absolutely nothing, and Devon got to throw her out of the damn ring before Ryan stepped in.”
Cade stepped back from the both of us. Shock lined his face as his hands came up and raked through his hair. His eyes darted back and forth between the two of us, and I stepped forward to bring myself closer to him, trying to contain the chaos that was unfolding in front of me.
But Tyler had to keep talking, he had to drive the knife in even further, twisting it and dragging it through Cade’s body.
“You aren’t good for her, Cade. You fucking know it. You put her in danger, where she should have never been. She shouldn’t have to rescue your sorry ass when you drink yourself to oblivion—”
“Tyler. Get. The. Fuck. Out.” This time it was my voice that was raising against him. I felt my body start shaking in response to the anger that was growing inside of me. I turned to him and pointed to the door while Tyler stood there in surprised silence.
“Do you understand what I’m saying? I said GET OUT.”
This time it was Savannah who stepped in as she wrapped her tiny hand around his arm, roughly pulling him away from the wall and towards the door.
“You heard her, douchebag. Get the fuck out.” She didn’t stop moving until he was successfully through the door and she could shut it behind him. She turned to me before saying, “I’m going to my room, let me know if you two need anything.”
I nodded before turning back to Cade and witnessing the collapsed mess in front of me. He was on his knees now, his arm resting on the side of the couch to keep him balanced. He sat back on his legs and looked up at me. There was absolutely no mistaking the pain that had filled his eyes, the realization of what happened last night was crashing all around him. I knew I needed to fix this before I completely lost him to this mess.
“Cade. Stop thinking, okay? You’re overthinking this. I’m perfectly fine. It wasn’t near as bad as Tyler made it sound.” I knelt down in front of him, taking his face in both of my hands and bringing my forehead to lay up against his.
Cade’s breathing was shallow and ragged as he tried to gain control before speaking.
“He’s right, Bambi.” The words ripped through me, causing waves of destruction in their wake.
“No. He’s not right. You haven’t done anything wrong, Cade. You had a crazy night, so what? It’s college. It’s not a big deal.” I pleaded with him, but he pulled his face away from mine and his hand moved back to my elbow, gently pulling it toward him so he could look again.
“That’s not true. If last night had only affected me we could play it off like one wild, drunken night. But it didn’t. He hurt you. I can’t stand for that. I can never be the reason something like that happens to you, Emma. I refuse to be.” With those words, I felt him pull away from me, both emotionally and physically as he shifted his leg and stood up, leaving me on the ground in front of him.
I moved to my feet and reached my hand forward, laying it on his cheek and forcing him to look at me.
“Please don’t do this. Don’t pull away now, not after last night.”
“Especially after last night. I’m no good for you, it’s true.”
He slowly moved my hand off of him and laid it back down by my side as he turned his face away from me.
“I’m sorry, Bambi.” His last words were barely audible as he turned and walked straight out of my dorm room, not bothering to look back before he shut the door behind him.
Chapter 22
“You told Tyler where I lived? Are you kidding me, Jake?” I glared into one of my best friend’s face an
d saw the regret forming in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Emma. I know I shouldn’t have, but Tyler was seriously going to beat the shit out of me. He had me slammed against the wall! I thought he was just worried about you.” Jake wouldn’t have been able to hold his own against Tyler, I knew that. But it still pissed me off that he had given Tyler some of my personal information without letting me know.
“Tyler has serious anger issues, Em. I think you should probably keep your distance from him.” Savannah looped her arms through mine and Jake’s as we made our way across campus and toward the auditorium.
With everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours, I had completely spaced the fact that monologue selections were posted outside the theater. Jake had forgotten, too, so the three of us were going to see who had been selected to perform at the upcoming showcase.
Plus, I needed a serious distraction from Cade today because my mind was completely consumed with thoughts of him and our conversation earlier.
“I’m angry you gave out my actual address, Jake. But I also understand that Tyler can kind of be a little terrifying sometimes. So, you’re forgiven ... but don’t fucking do it again, okay?” I leaned forward and gave Jake the most intimidating glare I could manage.
“Also, Sav, I agree. The way Tyler grabbed my wrist in the dorm earlier? It kind of freaked me out.” A shiver ran through my body when I remembered the vacant look in his eyes when he had me pinned up against him. I hadn’t ever experienced that before, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me nervous to be around him now.
“Exactly. I seriously thought I was going to have to bust him over the head with our cast iron until Cade came in and almost whooped his ass.” Savannah brought her fists up in front of her face in a mock fight stance and Jake chuckled beside me.
My heart sank at the mention of Cade’s name and I tried not to let the disappointment show on my face.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Savannah wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me against her.
Obviously, I failed at hiding those feelings.
“Don’t be sorry. I promise I’ll be fine. We had no relationship anyway, you know? I don’t even know why I’m this upset about it. But I’ll shake it off.” I gave her a small smile before shifting my gaze as we approached the auditorium.
Jake ran ahead of us and we quickly trailed up behind him, bringing our focus to the small sheet of paper that was taped to the front door.
Scanning over the names, I instantly recognized Jake’s monologue selection and brought both of my arounds up around his shoulders from behind.
“Jake! Yes!” My eyes dropped down the page, hoping I’d come across my own piece in the list.
There it was, just a couple slots from the bottom, the name EMMA CARTER typed neatly across the paper. Happiness bloomed in my chest and spread throughout my body as I let out a loud squeal and jumped on Jake’s back.
Jake started jumping up and down in celebration. I found myself getting lost in the laughter that the three of us burst into while I clung to his shoulders for dear life. For the first time since this morning, I forgot about the chaotic explosion that took place in our dorm and focused on what the future held for me here at Grandview University.
Chapter 23
The weeks following mine and Cade’s split—could I even call it that?—had proven to be incredibly difficult at first. It seemed like I had been the only one who had some sort of internal struggle in how I felt about the two of us. A huge part of me had been looking for that one-time, casual hookup when I met Cade that first night. And that’s what I got, I should be happy with that, ready to move on to the next fling or maybe find someone I could actually, potentially date. But another part of me was in shambles when I thought about him. I had experienced something with him that I’d never known before. Whether I liked it or not, it felt like he held a piece of me that I hadn’t given to anyone else. That was the part that I was constantly shaking from my memory, forcing myself to realize it wasn’t a big deal. Orgasms come freely and easily, I’d say. But I knew that wasn’t true, at least for me. I also knew that I didn’t have these feelings simply because Cade had given me my first orgasm. If I was being completely honest, my body had responded to him long before he had ever touched me that first time.
I had mindlessly watched him with another girl that first night, not even realizing who he was at the time. Whenever he looked at me, I felt it throughout my entire body, causing me to bask in goose bumps or a deep fiery warmth spreading across my skin. It was so much more than that time by the pool, than that casual hookup, but I needed to forget all of that and put it behind me. Cade sure had.
As the weeks progressed, I found myself noticing Cade whenever we were in the same room. But the hardest part was that every single time I saw him, his eyes were glued to whichever woman was hanging on him at the time. Not once did I ever catch him looking my way, not once did I witness that charming smile he graced everyone else with. His hands would slide down someone else’s back, resting casually on her hip or across her shoulders, and it would send pangs of jealousy coursing through me.
Today, though, I was awarded the sight of a petite blonde girl perched sweetly on his lap. His hands were wrapped around her waist and one was leisurely brushing across her thigh. She was leaning toward him, laughing at whatever stupid comment he had made, and I watched as he pushed back a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear.
“Earth to Emma,” Jake said, waving his hand in front of my face in order to break the daze I was in.
I snapped my head away from them and focused on Jake, sighing loudly at our small table in the café. “I’m sorry. Smack me if I do that again, okay? Seriously. I can’t keep doing this. I need to get my shit together.” I placed my hands down on the table in front of me and finalized those words of wisdom in my mind.
“Deal. You’re too good for all of that, anyway. I promise.” Jake’s sweet, reassuring smile slid across his lips as he took my hands in his and gave them a quick squeeze.
Just then, Savannah strolled up to us and sat down, excitement clearly apparent on her face.
“You guys. Logan just told me that Theta Chi is hosting a charity fundraiser this weekend at Thunder Ridge. It’s formal so we have to dress up, but we would be spending Saturday and Sunday night at the ski lodge before heading back Monday morning!”
Savannah was beyond thrilled, I could always tell when her voice got higher and higher towards the end of her sentence. Logan hadn’t been coming around us as much anymore, not since that morning in our dorm with Cade and Tyler. I wasn’t sure why he had been distancing himself, but I was glad to hear that him and Sav were still close. I didn’t want whatever mess I was in with Cade to affect their relationship. This was probably the longest they’d been really good together.
I also didn’t want to let her down, but I knew I’d rather be holed up inside our dorm this weekend, sulking in my own self-pity than getting all dressed up and going to an event. Savannah must have seen the thoughts written across my face because she immediately continued.
“Don’t even, Emma. You are absolutely coming. This will be good for you, you need to get back out there! And what better way than getting pampered, dressing up, and shoving it in his face that you’re beautiful and amazing and taking over the world?”
“Well, when you say it like that ...” I laughed, staring down at my half-eaten sandwich and barely touched fruit bowl.
“She’s right, babe. It would be the perfect opportunity to do something for you and get back out there.” Jake’s hand grasped mine while Savannah reached out to hold my other one.
I guessed they were right, it might be fun to try and forget everything else, feel beautiful at some formal event, and focus on myself and my happiness.
“Alright, ya’ll drive a hard bargain. I’ll go if the both of you are.”
“Yes!” Savannah shouted, so loudly that a few tables around
us turned to see what all the commotion was about.
Huge smiles spread across Jake’s and Sav’s faces while we picked up our trays and took them over to the discard section in the café.
“Em, that means we’re going home Friday night to stay with Mom and Dad on our way to Thunder Ridge, okay? Jake if you want to come and stay with us you are always welcome!” I swear Savannah was literally bouncing with each step she took. She was so excited for this weekend, and I couldn’t help but feel her emotions spill over into mine. Her happiness was contagious, and it was just what I needed right now. It was Thursday—wow this was rather last minute—so we needed to head back and start packing before leaving tomorrow.
The three us made our way through the café to the doors that led outside so that we could head back to our dorms. I decided to take one last peek over my shoulder at Cade. Blondie was still happily sitting on his lap, his hands resting on her waist, but for the first time since our explosion of a conversation, I caught him looking over his shoulder at me before his attention snapped back to the girl on his lap.
Chapter 24
“Okay ladies, then we’ll see you in a couple of hours! I’m so excited to have my girls home. Dan and I have missed you both so much. And Jake, we’re so excited to have you, too!” Ruth rattled off over the speaker on Sav’s phone. Savannah definitely got that high-pitched climb to her voice from Ruth, and I couldn’t help but giggle over the similarities between them.
“Can’t wait to meet you, momma Johnson!” Jake called back in an equally high and excited voice. He fit right in.
We each said our goodbyes and disconnected the line. We had just pulled out of the dorm parking lot and were jumping on the interstate, headed back to the home I had spent the last three and a half years of high school in. Thunder Ridge Ski Resort was about a four-hour drive from us, but our home was nestled halfway between our school and the resort.
