I Take It Back

by Liza James

  “I could really go for a break right about now. Driving, that is. Two hours is enough time to pull over, yeah?” He didn’t wait for me to answer before he took the next exit off the highway and pulled down a short, dirt road.

  “What in the world are you doing?”

  He couldn’t be serious. It was the middle of the day and we still had to get back to campus before dark. He put the jeep into park and reached across the center of the vehicle, grabbing my wrist and pulling me over to straddle him. He slid his seat back so that we had plenty of room before his husky, deep voice finally answered me.

  “I think you already know what I’m doing.”

  He roped his hand through my long hair, wrapping it around his fist as he gently tugged my head back and landed his warm, full lips on my jawline. Instantly I felt the sparks begin erupting across my skin, and my body began responding to him in the most natural, primal way. Even when my mind was trying to throw logic into the mix, my body completely ignored every thought. I couldn’t get enough Cade, and even through my doubts and my fears, my body needed him on such a physical level. What I was scared of most, though, was how the rest of me was quickly starting to need him in other ways. Right now, though, my body was in control and I wanted to keep playing with this strong pull we had going on with each other.

  I laid my hands on his shoulders, letting them snake up behind his neck and curl into his hair as he pulled me against him, so that I was pressed up against his chest. His other hand came down to rest on my leg, and he was already working my denim skirt up over my thighs. I felt my legs spread farther apart so that I could settle more over him, allowing our most sensitive areas to align perfectly as I began rocking slightly against him. The friction alone was already building the waves of pleasure in me, and I knew I was already wet under my leggings.

  His mouth trailed kisses up my neck until they reached the corner of my mouth. Just then his fingers tightened in my hair as his lips sealed against mine and I was once again drowning in his kiss. He kissed me with so much emotion, like he was telling me things through his actions rather than his words. Like something had broken loose in both of our chests after our conversation last night and the fact that we finally had sex.

  I moaned against his mouth as his tongue slid inside mine and they twirled together. His teeth nipped at my lower lip and the desire for him began whipping its way through me, causing me to act with more urgency and need. I slid my hands down his chest, feeling every dip and plane of his rippling stomach until I reached the button on his jeans. I flipped it open and pulled down the zipper, reaching inside for his long, hard shaft that eagerly awaited my touch. He growled in response when I wrapped one hand around the base of his cock. He was thick, my thumb and forefinger barely touching when I grasped him, and I felt the prick of nerves hit my stomach when I thought about him being inside me. I knew he would fit, obviously, and damn did it feel good, but the sheer size of him had me anxiously questioning things for a split second. I slid my thumb across the tip of him, and he shuddered in response, a drop of moisture collecting at the tip.

  In that moment I knew he needed me just as much as I was needing him, because both of his large hands came down roughly on my thighs, clutching my leggings under my skirt and yanking them downward, completely exposing myself to him. The cold air that raced in between my legs at the sudden nakedness sent a shock of shivers up my spine. Cade reached into the center console and pulled out his wallet, never breaking contact with our kiss as he did. He pulled out a condom and tore it open.

  I was impatient, and my hips were betraying me by sliding forward and grinding against his bare skin. He chuckled against my lips and quickly slid the condom on himself before quickly returning to the goal at hand.

  “I’m sorry, I’m not very patient,” I breathed out through our kiss as his hands gripped my hips and pulled me forward. I loved how he wasn’t incredibly gentle. There wasn’t a ton of soft caresses, or light touches. He kissed me and touched me with purpose and intention. I saw the blaze in his eyes, and the more he worked me like he had been doing, the more I felt entirely wanted by him. I loved knowing, feeling and seeing exactly how I made him feel.

  “I’m not patient right now either. I need to be inside you. But Emma, next time we do this, I’m taking my sweet ass time in getting to know every inch of your perfect body.” And just like that he was at my entrance, guiding his cock inside me before pulling me down on top of him until I had taken everything he had to give. I gasped at the sudden fill of him, the feeling of him stretching me to what felt like my threshold, and he groaned at the same moment.

  His head fell backward and his eyes rolled shut as he began moving me up and down in a rhythm that satisfied both of our needs. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and bit down at the feeling of him dragging out of me and slamming back in. I couldn’t help it, I was practically vibrating at the overwhelming feeling of pleasure. As I neared the edge that I knew I would soon fall over, Cade lifted his head and looked at me. His stark blue eyes were a darker, midnight color and he watched me as I rode him in the front seat of his jeep.

  I knew I was about to reach the edge, just one touch of his hand against my clit and I’d be there. So, I reached for his hand that had slid up my shirt and under my bra and pulled it downward, bringing it in between us and closer to the heart of my pleasure.

  “I want to watch you,” he said, stopping before his hand touched where I so desperately wanted him to.

  Shit, I had never done that before. I mean, not really. I guess sort of last night, but that was only when I was getting undressed. This would be different, it was light outside, and he would see everything. Part of me was nervous and embarrassed, and the other part was screaming at myself to do it, that I wanted to touch myself in front of him. I wanted to see his face as he watched me, and I wanted to turn him on like he did me.

  I stared into his eyes for a brief moment while I went to war with myself and how comfortable I was. Cade definitely pushed my limits, pushed me outside of my incredibly comfortable box and, while I was terrified, I also loved every minute of it.

  He reached to take my hand in his, gaining control of the situation, and slid it between us on my up rise. My fingers instantly found my sensitive bud and I whimpered at the feeling of my own hand on my clit while his hard cock slid inside me. Cade’s eyes dropped downward so that he could watch exactly what was happening. The fire that simmering under my skin caught flame and engulfed my entire body as I watched him watch me. His eyelids dropped to half-mast and I watched his breathing get shallower. I could no longer control the sounds I was making and he shifted under me slightly so that I was even higher on top of him, giving him the ability to slide deeper inside me.

  He started pumping his hips up slightly as I brought mine down to meet his, and pretty soon we were moving faster as we threw each other over the climactic edge. I dropped my head against his chest as I reveled in the whipping coil that had tightened and released. I convulsed around him, riding out my wave. After a few moments, his hand slid to my lower back and he pulled me up and off of him before setting me back down on his lap so that we could catch our breath.

  “I don’t know if I’ll ever get tired of that, Bambi,” he finally said after a few brief, silent moments. His words were right next to my ear and I felt his warm breath lick across my skin.

  “I don’t think I will either.” I chuckled and, while it terrified me, I knew that what I was saying was the truth. I’d never get tired of the feeling of Cade’s touch on my body.

  It was far too ingrained into my DNA now.

  Chapter 42

  Cade and I were both slammed with countless different affairs the rest of week. Jake and I were busy finalizing our monologues for the showcase. We had to present them in front of the class while each person gave us their own written, personal critique. We then had to take everyone’s feedback, apply it to our monologues and prepare for a final presentation before the actual showcase. Jake’s f
eedback had left him feeling like he should change his piece all together, so we were scrambling to find something that would stand out amongst the rest but weren’t having great luck.

  While I sorted through my notes throughout the week and continued tweaking my piece, Jake finally decided to stick with his original monologue and do some serious work to bring it up a few notches. I thought was he doing an amazing job bringing his character to life, a man who had his heart broken by someone who left him when he was younger. His character had a complicated past and Jake was struggling to find the right way to portray him, but by the end of the week we were both feeling solid in each of our pieces.

  Cade had been busy at the gym every single day after classes as he trained and prepared for his upcoming fight with Devon. I hated the idea of the two of them facing each other again, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk Cade out of it, so I figured the more he trained, the better. We generally didn’t see each other throughout the day, but he always managed to find his way back to my dorm late at night so that we were at least able to sleep together.

  I was getting used to waking up next to him every morning, to his arms slung across my waist and my back pressed tightly to his front. I loved the sound of his steady breath, usually blowing across the nape of my neck, in the mornings. Or the best mornings when I woke up to his dark, loose hair brushing across the inside of my thighs. I couldn’t get enough, and the more I found myself relaxing into a rhythm with him, the more those nagging thoughts and fears tugged at the back of my head about how long this was going to last.

  Savannah hadn’t been around much this week either. She generally stayed with Logan at his apartment. After their accident, the two of them were inseparable, and we could all see how they were falling in deep with each other. Ruth and Dan had come back with them to visit campus for a day before heading back home. We all went out to dinner, including Cade, Jake and Logan. I found myself completely forgetting any of the stress of my upcoming showcase, or the tightening anxiety I was having over Tyler, or the what ifs of this deal between Cade and I when we were all together. We had so much fun, relaxing and thoroughly enjoying each other’s company.

  Cade, Logan and Dan all talked shop and vehicles. I swear they were making plans for a guy’s weekend where they were going to tear apart and rebuild an old Dodge Challenger. I could see the glimmer of pride and approval in Dan’s eyes over the two guys and I couldn’t stop the mixed feelings I had about that. I loved it, of course, that Cade and Logan were making their way into our tightly woven family. But it also broke my heart when I realized that Cade would never meet my biological parents who had been a part of my life for so long before Dan and Ruth stepped in to rescue me. Not to mention the fact that the lines I had clearly drawn in my head about Cade staying at a safe distance from my heart were thinning and blurring into a mess I couldn’t quite decipher.

  It was early Friday morning when my alarm went off to the tune of ‘I Want to Break Free’ by one of my all-time favorite legends, Queen. Groaning, I buried my head into my pillow, trying to stifle the noise when I felt one of Cade’s heavy, warm arms reach across me and flick the snooze button on my phone. I rolled over to face him and snuggled into his chest without opening my eyes. I wasn’t ready to face the day yet. I wasn’t ready to face what was going to be happening tonight.

  Cade’s warm skin burned across my bare chest, and I felt a mix of icy shivers run down my spine as his fingers trailed down my hip and across my backside. I gripped onto his bicep when his hand latched onto the back of my knee and pulled my leg up and over his side, leaving me wide open for anything he had planned. He dipped his head and nuzzled his lips against my neck, nibbling and kissing until I finally peeled my eyes open to look at him.

  “Morning, Bambi.” His voice was thick with sleep and he brought his hand up to hold onto my chin, letting his thumb graze my jawline. I looked up into his eyes and saw that his usual blue was a bright cobalt this morning, filled with excitement and content. My heart grew when I let myself free enough to truly enjoy these moments, waking up with him and imagining things were simple.

  “Mmm, morning,” were the only words I could breathe out. My hips felt like they had a mind of their own as they idly began sliding closer and closer to his pelvis. Cade slid an arm around my waist and flipped us over so that he was hovering over me in one quick, strong movement that had my mind racing down one path straight to his hard, throbbing cock.

  He lightly ground against me, forcing a breathy sigh out of my mouth before he finally spoke.

  “As much as I’d love to take you right here, right now, don’t you have an important presentation today? For your showcase?” His words shot straight through me and pulled me out of that lustful trance in a split second.

  My eyes flew wide open as I slammed my hands against his chest to push him off me.

  “Shit shit shit! I totally forgot. I have to get ready to go.” I wasn’t late yet, but I absolutely could not be late for this presentation. It was our final performance and one that Jake and I had been working so hard for. I grabbed a pair of tight, dark wash skinny jeans and a threw on a light pink, flowy sweater that fell off of one shoulder. I didn’t think I had time to do anything great with my hair, so I pulled it up in a loose messy knot on top of my head and raced to the bathroom to put on a basic layer of make-up. Only the essentials: foundation, mascara and blush.

  When I made my way back into the room to gather my note book and bag, Cade was chuckling to himself as he sat on the edge of the bed. He had his jeans on but not buttoned, and I could see the band of his black briefs peeking out of the tops of his jeans. His rippling abs were apparent under his tight, olive skin and his arms were flexing as they pulled on his regular black, lace up boots. I forgot how to breathe for a moment as I got completely lost in all of his masculine beauty. His shoulders were broad, stretching outward, and the muscles in his back were pulling and sliding under his skin. He brought one hand up to rake through his dark hair when he looked up and caught me checking him out all too obviously.

  A smile kicked up on the corner of his lips as he stood up and stalked toward me.

  “Enjoying the show?” It was déjà vu, and I knew I had heard those words leave his mouth before. He placed his hands on my waist and guided me backward until I was pressed against the wall behind us.

  “I’d enjoy it a hell of a lot more if I didn’t have to leave in a few minutes.” I didn’t even try to hide the frown on my lips. I swear Cade was the first guy who ever made me consider actually skipping classes just so that we could find ourselves tangled back up in bed again.

  “You’re going to kill it today, and then after tonight I promise I’ll give you a private show that’ll be way better than what you just saw.” I felt the pit of my stomach drop in the best way possible and that lick of fire begin coursing its way through my veins at the thought of whatever exciting ideas Cade had in mind. But I also remembered that tonight was Cade’s fight against Devon and that had me quickly mixing a bout of nerves into the mix of what I was feeling.

  “You fight Devon tonight.” I said it as more of a statement. He knew it wasn’t a question.

  “I do. Speaking of, we need to chat about that.” His blue eyes suddenly transitioned to a darker, stormier shade of blue and I knew whatever he was about to say wasn’t going to sit well with me.

  “Shoot.”

  “I don’t think you should come tonight.” His words burned through me at a rate that completely dissolved any sexual tension that was floating through us.

  “Excuse me?” Maybe I didn’t hear him correctly. He couldn’t possibly think I actually wouldn’t come to this fight. Especially not one as important as this.

  “Listen, Bambi. Last time you came to a fight with Devon, he hurt you because of me. He’s a fucking asshole and I don’t want him around you, not even for something like this.” He was completely serious. I could hear it in the finality and steady beat of his voice. He was drawing a line that he a
bsolutely didn’t want me to cross. Too bad he didn’t realize I would have no part in it.

  “The hell I’m not coming, Cade. That was completely different. You’re going to be sober tonight, you’ve been working your ass off for this fight. I can’t even believe you’d honestly think you could convince me not to be there?” I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back a bit so that I could get a better look into his eyes. The scowl that covered his lips was unmistakable, but he knew the determination in my voice was also unwavering.

  “Of course I’ll be sober. But that doesn’t change the fact of what happened before and who knows how he’ll be tonight. I can’t risk you getting hurt just to watch this go down. It’s not worth it.” His voice was laced with anger and annoyance at my stubborn need to fight back. But I wasn’t budging on this. Just like he needed to know I was safe, I needed to know he was.

  “So, you need to know I’ll be safe, that’s why I can’t come?”

  “Yes, exactly. If you aren’t there, I know Devon can’t lay a hand on you.”

  “But what if I need to know that you’re safe? I should have the right to make that decision for myself.” I decided to throw a little of his own medicine back at him.

  “I’ll be safe, Em. I’ve done this a million times.”

  “I’ll be safe, Cade. I’m not budging on this. And honestly, the best way for us both to know each other is safe is for us both to be together, in the same place. Savannah and Logan will be there, too. I’ll stick with them, but I’m not skipping this. That’s final.”

  His eyes darted back and forth between mine as his lips pressed into a hard, frustrated line. I could feel the anger permeating from his body, but I also saw his shoulders relax just a bit at my argument, and I knew he realized I had a point. A tick worked in the back of his jaw but he stayed silent. I took that as a relinquished yes and leaned up on my tiptoes to kiss his lips.

  “I have to go, I’ll see you tonight. Text me the location and we can either go together or I’ll meet you there. Either way is fine with me, but I’m coming.”