He walked over to me and rested his hands on my shoulders before he said, "I'm so happy to see this side of you again, I thought it was lost forever."
He pulled me into his arms and squeezed, just hard enough to let me know how loved I was by him.
"I love you too, Bryan."
"Now that that's out of the way, let's go have some fun."
"I don't see any part of this being fun but I'm ready when you are."
We took the elevator back down to the lobby. Yes, I ride elevators now thanks to Tony. I was fidgeting left and right with my hair and dress the whole time, scared I didn't look good enough.
"You look beautiful, Mar, stop worrying so much."
The dress I chose was turquoise, my favorite color. I wanted to feel as good about myself as possible before I faced him again. I grabbed up the maxi dress in the boutique I worked at as soon as the shipment came in. It was so different from the stuff we typically carried and I knew I would find some place to wear it, I just didn't know it would be here.
I left my hair down and made sure to let my bangs cover my left eye. Regret doesn't even cover how I feel about not doing something about it when it happened. Why I wanted to have something permanently on my face to remind me is so far from something I can wrap my brain around that now I don't even try.
When the doors opened, my heart dropped. Standing across the room alone, was the man that will forever make my heart stop beating, cause my chest to tighten and steal my breath away.
"I got you here, now this is all on you."
Bryan walked out of the elevator and out of sight before I could grab ahold of his arm and force him to stay with me.
“Do the impossible to realize it never was,” went through my head again, allowing me to take a step forward and then another.
I stopped mid-way, looking into the eyes that would hold my heart forever and always.
Mike gave nothing away by expression. He blankly stared at me as he closed the gap between us.
We were a foot from each other and I don't think either of us had ever felt so far apart.
"How have you been, Mike?"
He closed his eyes tightly and then opened them to look at me again.
"It's crazy to see you, to even hear your voice. I wasn't sure I would ever get this chance again after what I said to you last."
"You had every right."
He looked away and then back at me. "You want to go find somewhere to sit and talk?"
"Mike?"
"Daisy."
I had never heard a sweeter sounding word.
"You still call me that?"
"Do you really think I could ever call you Marissa? It doesn't fit you at all."
"Well, thanks a lot."
"You will always be Daisy to me."
Something about that gave me hope. Maybe I still had the power to persuade him after all.
"Let's go sit somewhere."
His hand came out, as if it were going to take mine, but then he jerked it back and put it in his pocket.
"Follow me."
I walked behind him into the back of the restaurant attached to the hotel. One table was secluded from the rest which I guessed was where we were going to do this.
Mike didn't pull my chair out and wait for me to sit like he always fought to do before. He simply sat down and brought his elbows up to rest on the table as I sat myself.
"So, why did you come here?"
"Right to the point, huh?"
"What good would small talk do?"
"I never wanted you to hate me."
"You didn’t give me much choice."
"I know I didn't."
Silence.
"I came for you. Maybe that came out wrong. I don't want you to misunderstand that. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, even though I would love it, I mean, I don't know what I'm even saying right now."
"Did you ever love me? You said you did but I need to know the truth."
"What? Where did that come from? Of course I did! Do! How can you even question that?"
"Are you serious? It's the easiest question TO ask. Nothing you have ever done proved it. You never stuck around to fight it out, you always ran. Always. That's not love, at least not what I know of it. I would have done anything for you. I would have given anything up to have you."
"You make it sound so simple."
"It is."
"I know who I was before. I was young and clueless but all of that changed. I changed, and nothing about my life is simple anymore."
"And I'm going to crush him for that very reason."
"You can't be serious? You know you can't go in there with that attitude. He will murder you."
"Now you don't have any confidence in me either?"
"It's not that and you know it. This is a mistake. You can't go in with emotions. You're the one who taught me that!"
"This is different."
"No, it's not! This is the very definition of what not to do."
"I can't lose this chance. He will pay for what he cost me."
"What he cost you? He stole everything from me, ME! And yet I'm still begging you not to do this."
"Would you ever have left me if it wasn't for him? Answer honestly."
"I don't even need to think about that. No, of course I wouldn't. I would, hell, I already had given you all of me."
"Then there is your answer."
"No it doesn't give me anything. Mike, please. Don't do this!"
He got up from the table and then looked away for a second before coming back to rest his eyes back on mine. His hand came out and brushed my bangs away from my left eye, exposing it.
"If I could have kept him from you, if I could have just held on to you, you would still be mine. I'm doing this, Daisy."
He started to walk away but stopped when I said, "I won’t be there."
He turned around so fast I could have blinked and missed it, but whatever he was going to say, he changed his mind. I watched as he sunk within himself before he said, "It wouldn't have mattered anyway, you're never coming back to me." And then he turned and walked away.
I wanted to scream after him that it does matter. Fighting under the circumstances would insure his defeat at the very least. He couldn't win and what that would do to him was far worse than anything I ever could.
I sat there for a good five minutes before I got up and went to find everyone else. Sitting in that chair wasn’t going to change his mind, nothing was.
I wasn't told where they would be so I had to call my brother.
"Bryan, where are you?"
"The other side of the lobby. There's a bar, you can't miss it."
"Okay, I'm on my way."
"How did it go?"
"Don't ask."
I hung up knowing that what was to follow would be a series of questions regardless of what I told him.
Walking into the bar I saw all the smiles instantly. Everyone was laughing and having fun, something I hadn't done in so long.
"How did it go?"
Jason and Tony both looked at me with hope while the rest of the group had an expression that matched what I was about to tell them prematurely.
I sat down in one of the available chairs and grabbed a beer out of the bucket in front of me.
"He's still going to fight."
"Did you really come here thinking he wouldn't?"
I looked at Kate, unsure how to respond to her.
"Maybe part of me hoped that I could talk him out of it."
"It's for the title, Marissa, of course he's going to fight. We wouldn't be here if he had no intention. Why wouldn't you want him to be the same guy he was when you met him to begin with?"
I could tell by the look on her face that she was clueless to my reasoning. Mike hadn't told any of them apparently and for that one thing, I owed him the world.
"I guess I am just worried is all."
Bryan looked at me and then looked down at his beer. I know he wanted to say something,
defend me in a way, but thankfully he stayed quiet too.
"Don't be, he's trained hard for this."
I just shook my head up and down in agreement to stop the conversation, but noticed Sadie looking at me funny.
"So, anyway, tell me all about Faith. I haven't gotten to meet her yet. Is she as perfect as she seemed in the video you guys sent?"
Everyone started talking at once.
"She's the best baby ever."
"She never cries."
"She just sat up for the first time."
I couldn't believe how great Faith sounded and that I had already missed out on so much.
"Maybe I could come out some time and see her. Oh and Sadie, I still owe the twins a picnic."
Ash smiled at Sadie and then me. "Anytime. We would love to have you."
Jason continued to rub Heather's belly while the rest of us laughed over old times. A lot had happened, plenty had changed, but the eight of us together felt good. We talked until two in the morning when we all forced ourselves to get some sleep. The time difference had really messed with each of us. Day was night and vice versa.
I had sat there trying to let Mike out of my head but he never left.
"Lord, if you can hear me, please help me find the right path. I don't pray to you as often as I should, so it doesn't seem right asking this of you, but I need more strength than I believe you have given me. I don't want this anymore. I don't want to fight this hard to stay away when obviously it's not doing anyone any good. I need to tell him—"
"Mar, who are you talking to?"
Hearing Bryan's voice scared me to death.
"Nobody, Bryan, just go back to sleep."
"Good night, I love you."
"I love you too."
I forced my eyes to close and in the end, sleep eventually found me.
Chapter 28
Bryan tried to wake me up for breakfast but had no luck. I was exhausted from the night before and needed to sleep. Well, that's what I told him but truthfully I couldn't deal with the fact that in only a few hours Mike would be facing Keith. I couldn't watch. Something in me told me it would be a blood bath and nothing about that was something I wanted to witness.
Around three o'clock Bryan came barging into the room screaming, "Hey! You wanted to come here and let me tell you, the tickets weren't cheap. Get out of bed and try to enjoy some part of this."
I stayed quiet but sat up to face him and said nothing.
"Look, I know this isn't easy. You've been through something I can't understand and for whatever reason, you ran. I get it. But now is the time to let it go. Push past this, Marissa, and let yourself be happy again.
“I told you when I found out about you and Mike that this was a bad idea, but I was wrong. Whatever happened wasn't his fault, I know he would never hurt you and it wasn't yours either. So why are you punishing each other for it?"
"He doesn't want me anymore."
"I don't believe that for a second but if it's true, he's a fool. Tell me this? Have you even given him the option?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"He deserves—"
"If you say better than you I will slap you, just a warning."
"Well it's true!"
"No, it's not. Tell me what happened, I won't judge you, I swear. I just need to know so I can help you."
"You knowing won't help, trust me."
"Then what can I do? I'm your brother, Mar, let me do something."
"Stop Mike from going into that cage."
"Why are you and his brothers so hell-bent against this?"
"Because he will lose."
"So? He can't win every fight. It's just not possible."
"It's different this time."
"Why?"
"Because Keith is the one that..."
He was pushing so hard that I almost cracked.
"The one that what?"
"Nothing. Just leave it alone."
I watched as the light bulb went on in his head.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Reynolds did that to your face! What the fuck, Marissa! How could you not have told me?"
I was scared that he would keep going. That just letting that little bit slip would end up letting all the cards fall.
"I'm sorry."
Bryan let out his breath and then lunged across the bed and took me in his arms.
"No, I'm the one who's sorry."
He ran his hand across my head, brushing my hair back.
"No wonder you didn't want him to fight. I'm sorry for this too, but everything in me wants to see Mike crush that motherfucker. Hell, if I could get at him I would do the same thing."
"But it won't work. This isn't about getting retribution. Mike always told me that if a fighter doesn't have a clear head he will lose. Do you have any idea what that will do to him? He's already lost so much."
"You know what the answer to this is, don't you?"
"If I did would I still be hiding in this room?"
"Don't make him lose everything. Let him have the one thing he wants most."
"It's not—"
"Yes it is. Let yourself be happy."
Bryan let me go and then walked to the door, after setting a piece of paper down on the table.
"Get in the shower and for God’s sake, brush your teeth. I left you your ticket if you decide to change your mind."
I threw myself back, letting my head hit the pillow and rolled over onto my side, clinching another pillow to my chest just as the door closed.
"What am I going to do?"
***
Hours later I peeled myself out of bed and took a much needed shower. The lower level weight classes had already begun and I knew in an hour and forty minutes, Mike would be entering the Octagon. I kept thinking about what Bryan said and what I could do to make things right. There was only one thing I knew for sure. I loved Mike.
I might have kept myself from feeling what that meant for the last few months, but it all hit me like a ton of bricks.
He said I never proved it. He said I always ran and never fought for him. It was time I showed him what fight I still had left in me. I had to try to stop this and time was no longer on my side.
I'd never gotten dressed faster. Makeup wasn't an option. Drying my hair couldn't happen. I twisted it up into a loose bun on the top of my head, grabbed a pair of jeans, a long sleeve shirt and threw on my boots. There wasn't even time for me to give myself the once over.
Grabbing the ticket and my purse, I ran out the door to the elevator, pushing the button over and over, like that would make it go any faster. By the time I got to the street, I had a little less than forty minutes. I didn't speak Japanese and the guy working for the hotel spoke very broken English.
"Ultimate Fighter. Get Me There PLEASE.
"Fight?"
"Yes. MMA. Please, I need to hurry."
He smiled and flagged down a cab for me, said something to the driver and as soon as I closed the door we drove off.
Traffic was insane. My leg wouldn't stop bouncing as I kept looking at the clock on his radio as the minutes went by. Thirty five, thirty, twenty five, twenty, ten.
"Can't we go another way?"
He looked through the rear view mirror at me with an expression that easily read, "I don’t have a clue what you just said."
We pulled up to the outer entrance, ten minutes after the fight started. It was pointless. Going in there now would only be to watch the one thing I was trying to stop.
The cab driver held out his hand and then pointed to the card reader on the back of the seat. I guess giving me the option to pay him in cash or charge it.
With no currency transferred over, I had no choice but to swipe my card. Once the meter read that the payment was received, he looked back over at me again and then at the door. My choice was gone. I got out and my head fell back as I took in the building in front of me.
Pictures of Mike and Keith alternated on the electronic billboard showcasing the m
ain event. When I saw Keith's face again I never expected the feeling that came over me. It wasn't the urge to throw up. I didn't even want to cry. Pure rage filled me and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to beat the shit out of him myself.
There was no crowd at the ticket booth, everyone was already inside. The announcer was giving play-by-plays through the loud speaker as I moved through the space, just trying to get closer. I heard the roar of the people as they chanted something too, but it was all in Japanese, making it impossible to understand what was happening.
Once I walked into the arena my heart dropped. I had tried to build up hope that Mike would have already had Keith knocked out but all of that was gone when I saw Mike on his back.
The people were all on their feet screaming as I ran down the stairs as fast as I could toward the cage.
"NO!"
I saw Keith's arm go up and knew that one shot could be the final blow. Each step seemed to go on forever when finally I reached the floor.
"MIKE!"
Two arms came from out of nowhere and grabbed me by my shoulders. Adrenaline and fury caused me to throw them off of me as I continued to get closer.
"MIKE!"
Keith's elbow came crashing down but Mike managed to move his head just in time and took the blow to his right ear. When I finally got to see his face I almost lost my ability to stand. His eyes were practically swollen shut and blood was everywhere.
Two more hands grabbed me around the waist, just as I reached the steps up to the cage. I tried to spin out of the hold they had on me but it wasn't working.
"MIKE!"
I kicked and threw my arms any way that they would move, trying to break free. Nothing was working.
Whoever had me attempted to pick me up off the ground, just as I noticed two more guys coming my way. Rage fueled me as I fought back with everything I had.
"MIKE, GET UP! DON'T LET HIM WIN!"
Neither one reacted to anything I had said until that moment. I watched in what felt like slow motion as Keith raised his head to look at me and that was all it took. One small distraction can mean life or death to a fighter.
"Mike!"
I saw his body tense and then his right arm came up and across Keith's collar bone, reaching from shoulder to shoulder, as he pushed with everything he had. When Keith's body moved back, Mike brought his head up to rest against Keith's face while he slid his right leg out from under him.
Fighting Fate Page 30
