Way of Choices: Book I - Youths We Were, Schoolmates

by Mao Ni

  This sort of emotion is not good for my body, he told himself silently. He used a willpower which was completely at odds with his age to calm down in an extremely short amount of time. He then gazed at his hands and his expression flickered, his eyes brimming with disappointment and confusion.

  His hands had not changed in the slightest; they were just as clean as they were last night.

  He took a small, round mirror from his bosom and gazed at his face in its reflection. After a moment of silence, he placed down the mirror and pulled up his collar to examine his body. He discovered that nothing had changed—he was just as clean as he had been over the past few years.

  A successful Purification should not be like this.

  Based on the descriptions in On Purification, humans, by existing in this world; by eating, drinking, and breathing whenever they took in nutrients, simultaneously took the filthy Qi of this world into their bodies. Thus, the radiance of the stars needed to be drawn into the body so that the purest and gentlest energy of the stars could be used to completely expel this filth from the body.

  Based on the descriptions from his predecessors, after a successful Purification, the human body would expel massive amounts of rancid sweat and one even might get a severe case of diarrhea. These events proved that the filthy Qi had been completely excreted by the body.

  However, Chen Changsheng's body had not undergone a single change.

  He was slightly obsessed with cleanliness and loved being clean, but now he had an incomparable desire to see black beads of filthy sweat appearing on his body because this matter had nothing to do with cleanliness. No matter how he thought, he felt that he should not be like this.

  Chen Changsheng silently gazed out the window at the rising sun for a very long time.

  Suddenly, he placed the back of his hand on the floor and forcefully rubbed it against the ground. Only after he distinctly felt pain did he raise his hand and glance at it. The back of his hand was a mass of reddened flesh, with tinges of blood faintly visible. As a result, he knew that he had not succeeded in Purification.

  When starlight descended, the first thing it touched was the skin, so in the very beginning phases of Purification, the skin would be strengthened first.

  His skin was not any different from last night.

  Chen Changsheng fell into silent thought. He had originally believed that the problem of his severed meridians would only result in the gradual loss of his soul, making it harder in the future for him to convert star radiance into true essence for preservation in his body. However, he believed that he would at least be able to complete the step of Purification. He didn't expect that even this was no good.

  As the morning light gradually brightened, he stood up and walked out of the library. Since he had sat cross-legged for the entire night, his body was somewhat sore. He walked rather slowly, so from the back, he looked just like a child in the initial stages of recovery from some major illness.

  As he returned to his house and gazed at the steaming basin of water on the stove, he felt somewhat sad. Based on the records in On Purification, he believed that upon his return, he would inevitably be covered in filth, so he had prepared hot water in advance. Unimaginably, he had not even formed a single drop of sweat.

  He thought and thought, ultimately deciding to still take a bath.

  It wasn't because he had sat on the floor for the entire night nor was it because the academy was still a little dusty.

  His body had problems, which made him deeply dislike his own body. He always felt that his body was somewhat filthy.

  The diligent washing of his face, his love of feeling clean, and his light obsession with cleanliness all stemmed from this dislike.

  He poured the hot water into a large basin in the corner and got in. He covered his face with a wet towel and leaned his two arms against the edge of the basin, seeming quite exhausted.

  From behind the wet towel would occasionally arise an almost imperceptible sigh.

  At this time, from the other side of the wall, another sigh could also faintly be heard.

  Chen Changsheng thought, It turns out that sad people can be found everywhere.

  No one knew that Chen Changsheng was attempting Purification. Even those who had seen him light up his Fated Star did not know. Compared to fixing one's Fated Star, Purification was an even more commonplace affair. No matter if one was in Purification or a grand expert of Star Condensation, as long as one was cultivating, one would have to perform this task night after night. Moreover, those people with the ability to see the sight of the Fated Star being lit up were also powerless to see that line and were naturally even less aware of who was holding the other end.

  The self-strengthening of humans had no upper bound. Purification had never been a one-day affair.

  That night, Chen Changsheng once more entered the library, sat himself on the floor, and continued to try.

  For a fourteen-year-old youth to stir himself from a sense of defeat, he had used rather too small an amount of time. For this, he had to thank those matters he had once experienced and was soon about to experience again. Of course, it was probably more correct to say that he loathed those matters.

  He had no time for dismay. He could only try incessantly and persevere.

  Succeed or die for a righteous cause. These words were the most fitting to describe him.

  As he meditated, countless thick yet invisible star essences trickled down that invisible line of fate from the lofty night sky. Once more, they fell upon his body and lingered around him like the spring wind.

  Like last night, this star radiance noiselessly seeped into his body and could be seen no more.

  This process persisted for a very long time, all the way until the sky brightened and he woke up.

  He carefully examined his hands, but saw no change. He used his hands to rub his forehead, but found not a single drop of sweat. The old clothes on his body were still clean and dry. The morning wind coming in through the window could still lightly sway his two sleeves.

  He did not understand. Even if his meridians were severed, his skin and hair had received the radiance of the stars and should have changed.

  Just where had the star radiance gone?

  He believed that all the starlight had flowed into the air and disappeared.

  He had no idea that when he closed his eyes in meditation, the star radiance was passing through his black hair and hands, passing through his old clothes and the dagger at his waist, and noiselessly entering his body. Not a single drop was lost.

  Just like snowflakes passing through the wind and trees to fall upon the ground.

  Not a single leaf was able to hold a single flake of snow. This was an unimaginable occurrence.

  But it had really happened.

  At present, this forest was still lush and verdant without a hint of white.

  But in reality?

  On the ground under the forest, the mantle of snow was gradually thickening.

  It was accumulating.

  There would come a day when it would abruptly rise (薄发).[18]

  Or perhaps, explode.

  Chapter 27 – Already Many Years

  At five o'clock in the morning, Chen Changsheng opened his eyes. He wasn't waking up from his sleep, but from his state of meditation. After confirming that there was still no change with his body, he shook his head and returned to his room to take a bath. As he leaned against the edge of the wooden basin and allowed the slightly hot water to wash over his exhausted body and mind, the sighs passing through the wet towel became a mumbled question, "When will I be able to find a way?"

  This wooden basin was around half the height of a human and was placed very close to the academy wall behind the house. In the next moment, he heard an extremely faint sigh from the other side of the wall, accompanied by a statement brimming with anxiety, "When will I be able to find that person?"

  Chen Changsheng thought of that sigh he had heard yesterday morning and to
ok the wet towel off his face to turn and gaze at the wall. What confronted his eyes was a tangle of green ivy. The academy wall was very high, so he could not see the other side to know who was speaking.

  It had been a very immature voice, most likely that of a girl child. Every person's sorrows were not necessarily the same, but they were all sorrows nonetheless. Chen Changsheng suddenly sympathized with the girl on the other side of the wall, but he soon realized that in his current situation, he wasn't qualified to sympathize with anyone else.

  The following days passed in peaceful serenity. Every day, he would read books in the library, and when night fell, he would draw the radiance of the stars into his body for Purification. Over the course of this Purification, he would always have his eyes closed in meditation, naturally unaware that the radiance had all seeped into his body. From an exterior perspective, there was no change. This result was unavoidably discouraging, but he continued to diligently and incessantly cultivate, not affected in the slightest.

  Just like his cultivation, the repairs of the Orthodox Academy progressed in a methodical manner. Although that Priest Xin of the Bureau of Ecclesiastic Education did not manage things personally, there was no shortage of funds, and it all arrived promptly. Naturally, the artisans and laborers did not dare to slacken their pace.

  As the academy wall that had been worn away by years of non-maintenance could not even block out sound, wind could also naturally pass through.[19]

  The news that the Orthodox Academy was being repaired quickly spread throughout the capital. The matter of the Orthodox Academy gaining a new student was also gradually revealed to the populace. However, the true reason for the Orthodox Academy's decline meant that people only dared to discuss this news in private. Nobody dared to inquire about this publicly, so the only effect of this news was to add to the number of conversation topics around the dining and tea tables.

  Chen Changsheng did not know that a storm was gradually building in the world outside. He continued to silently study and cultivate in that school in the depths of Hundred Flowers Lane, repeating a similar life and simply not feeling that his days were passing by very dryly and monotonously.

  On the surface, it seemed that he had stopped caring about whether he could succeed or not in cultivation. In reality, his mind was completely tied up with this matter. The proof was that it had already been several days since he had wiped the floorboards of the library, a rare occurrence for someone as obsessed with cleanliness as him.

  That he had not succeeded in Purification did not mean that he had obtained nothing from this life of studying.

  He read many books in the library. The majority he had already read in Xining Village, while there were some books regarding cultivation that he was reading for the first time. Upon comparing the two, he realized to his surprise that many of the words that he had read when he was small were related to cultivation.

  When he was memorizing those Daoist scriptures as a child, he had no idea what those nigh incomprehensible words meant, nor was he able to obtain any definite explanation from his senior or master. He thought that they were words related to metaphysics and stopped brooding over them. Only after coming to the capital and reading these books on the initial phase of cultivation in the Orthodox Academy, like On Purification, did he understand. Originally, all the cultivation methods of the world, the precious experiences left behind by past experts, the techniques of certain major sects not meant to be transmitted to the outside world, and even a few secrets of demon experts were all contained in the three thousand scriptures of the Daoist Canon in Xining Village's old temple!

  What did this mean?

  Who said that he didn't know how to cultivate? He just had not begun to cultivate, or at least, that was what he had originally thought. Now, he knew that this argument was incorrect. Who said that he had not begun to cultivate? No, from the moment he could speak, he had begun, he had already been cultivating!

  The three thousand scriptures of the Daoist Canon contained in Xining Village's old temple were countless fragments of knowledge related to cultivation. In the past, these fragments had been a thick fog within his spiritual world, but the cultivation techniques that he now understood had become extremely small specks of dust that formed nuclei in the fog. The vapor began to crystallize around these cores, bringing a boundless downpour.

  Chen Changsheng had begun an extremely fantastical trip, a wondrous journey. It could be said that he had comprehended by analogy, and it could also be said that he had been suddenly enlightened, like he had been jolted awake by a whack to the head, but in reality, the most ideal descriptor of the truth was five words: rising abruptly through accumulated strength.

  A bit more than fourteen years had passed since Daoist Ji had picked him up from the stream, and every day and every night of those fourteen years had been spent relentlessly reading. Those fourteen years of reading had been a process of accumulation. He had already laid down an extremely thick foundation. Ultimately, all he needed was an opportunity, and then he could convert this knowledge that he had grasped over his fourteen years entirely into his own understanding of the world, and later on convert it into his own strength.

  Just like a jar of gunpowder ignited by a spark.

  A massive explosion occurred in Chen Changsheng's spiritual world. He voraciously read all the books in the library, grasping the laws of cultivation. Those fragments of information he had obtained from the Daoist scriptures of Xining Village were once more reassembled, once more reviewed, and then truly understood. With almost unimaginable speed, he comprehended the secrets of the cultivation world, grasped the details of those cultivation techniques. Solely in terms of cultivation knowledge, there were already frighteningly few people in the world with a more extensive understanding than him.

  To be unable to succeed in Purification and yet suddenly obtain such a great harvest was a very delightful occurrence to Chen Changsheng, and also consolation. Once his emotions settled down, he once more grew uneasy and confused. He walked to the window of the library and gazed in the direction of Xining Village in silence. The Daoist scriptures in that old temple were no ordinary objects, and his master was naturally no ordinary man. He had helped him lay down such a firm foundation for cultivation, but why didn't he just teach him how to cultivate, rather than insisting that he only begin after coming to the capital? Was it just because his body's illness was not easy to treat and he wanted to see if he would have any lucky encounters in this place?

  Time passed, and in the blink of an eye, ten-odd days had gone by. No one from the Divine General of the East's estate had appeared nor did that maid called Shuang'er come again. He was quite pleased that his calm life had not been disturbed, but he was somewhat displeased that Tang Thirty-Six also never appeared. He had left his address behind at the inn, presuming that he would be able to find him. Fine, that fellow might be bitterly cultivating in the Heavenly Dao Academy.

  The Orthodox Academy had only Chen Changsheng as its sole inhabitant. This was his own academy.

  He quietly read and silently cultivated, gradually forgetting the world outside. He had already been forgotten by the outside world. On occasion, he would recall that conversation he had overheard in the Bureau of Ecclesiastic Education, think about the excitement of those initiation activities held by the Heavenly Dao Academy and Star Seizer Academy and feel somewhat envious...but he did not care too much. He had long grown used to this sort of dull and monotonous life. In Xining Village's old temple, when he was reading together with his senior, his voice was often the only sound.

  It was just that he had attempted Purification for so many days, but his body still remained unchanging. He could see no hope of success, but he would not give up. In the end, he had grown somewhat more indifferent. He decided that if he still could not succeed in the next few days, he would have to search the books for another method.

  Indifference often made people lose a little drive, but it would make some people become mo
re cool-headed—precisely Chen Changsheng's current mental state. He could not be said to have returned to his original mindset, but he had returned to the mindset at the very beginning of this process. Now that he looked at the floor covered in a shallow layer of dust, the brow of this youth that so dearly loved cleanliness creased in deep displeasure.

  Most of this displeasure was aimed at himself. He felt that he had grown lazy.

  He brought up some clear water from the well and began to clean the floorboards. As the dust was gradually cleaned, the floorboards that were wiped clean with water began to exude an extremely faint aroma. He was unaware of the sweat he had perspired on the night that he had lit up his Fated Star, so he was somewhat puzzled. This aroma was truly very faint. A single gust of the night wind was enough to make it vanish.