“Why did you let her go in the first place?”
“She didn’t give me a choice in the matter. She left me.”
“She did?” Mr. Devereux asked in surprise.
“Yes, sir.”
“But why?”
“That’s her story to tell, not mine. She needs to tell you what and why.”
“We both have to do that with the other,” the older man said, running his hand from his forehead to the top of his head.
“Yes, you do, but if I may be so forward, I think you’re both at a place to do so now.”
“I hope you’re right, Ethan, because like you, I don’t want to let her go again either.”
Ethan entered her old bedroom—so girly it was funny, pink everywhere. Mia lay in the middle of her big princess bed, still asleep.
He crossed the room and sat beside her, studying her beautiful face—the one he wanted to wake up to every day for the rest of his life. Taking the ring out of his pocket, he held it between his thumb and index fingers as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek.
It was time.
“Suga … wake up. I need to talk to you about something.”
“Ethan … sleep.”
“No, suga. I’ve got something really important to talk to you about. It can’t wait any longer.”
He traced the line of her face with his free hand and watched as her eyes languidly opened, a warm and loving curve touching her full, kissable lips.
“Hi, sleepyhead.”
“Hi,” she replied, her head leaning into his palm. He kissed her mouth then followed it with two quick pecks before removing his hand from her face. She pushed herself into a seated position and leaned in for another kiss. “I love your kisses,” she murmured against his mouth as she moved her lips against his.
“Same here,” he said, punctuating that with a kiss on her full, bottom lip. “So, suga, what do you consider us? What am I to you?”
She cupped his face, her eyes bright as they held his, a sweet smile transforming her mouth. “You are my everything, Ethan. That’s the term I would use. You are my lover, my best friend, my protector. We may have been apart for a long time, but in this moment, I can say that I love you more than I ever have,” she paused, placing a feather-soft kiss on his lips. She stopped the kiss but didn’t remove her lips from his mouth so when she spoke he felt the vibrations from her voice. “Does that answer your question?”
He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I love you too.”
Ethan reluctantly broke the embrace. Knowing what he was going to ask was the only reason he stopped. He was excited to get on with this phase of his life.
With a quick glance down at the ring in his hand, he took a deep breath. Her loud intake of breath had him looking up at her and found her eyes filling up with tears, a wavering smile upon her gorgeous face. Yeah, it definitely was time.
“So, I had a feeling I would need this,” he said, holding up the ring for her to see. “Were you serious about being in my life for good?”
Her grin stretched from ear to ear and the tears flowed from her eyes like a monsoon. “Very serious.”
“Now, this is the last time I want to ask this.”
“It’s the last time I want to hear it,” she quickly replied.
He knelt before her just like that night four years ago when he’d asked her to marry him for the first time. She scooted around to face him, her teeth capturing her stretched bottom lip.
“Mia, will you be my forever?”
“I will, Ethan,” she said, right before launching herself at him, knocking them both to the ground. They both laughed heartily before she attached her mouth to his. He sighed at the rightness of it. This was what his life should be—him, Mia, and their children—lots and lots of children.
“We made it back, Mia.”
“We did it. I’m never going to let you go ever again!” she exclaimed, kissing him all over.
Rolling them to their sides, he placed his hand over her stomach. With a smile, she put her hand on his and held it to her belly.
“So, not only are we going to be parents now, we’re gonna be husband,” she said with a kiss to his lips, “and wife.”
“I can’t tell you how fucking happy I am right now.”
“I’m sorry for ever making you unhappy. Now,” she said with a knowing grin on her beautiful face, “I know there will be times when that might happen again, but I’ll do my damnedest to make those times few and far between. Now put that ring on my finger!”
Taking her hand, he caressed her ring finger with his thumb from the knuckle to the tip before slowly sliding the ring on her finger where it belonged. With the ring now back on her finger, he realized they needed to get married before the baby came. Not only that, he wanted her his as soon as possible.
“Holy shit, Mia! We need to get married fast! How ‘bout Vegas?”
“Uh, no way! I want a real wedding. The dress, the walking down the aisle, and having you there at the end waiting for me.”
He smiled. He wanted that too. She’d be a vision he’d never forget. That he knew without a doubt. “How fast can you plan one?”
“We’ll be married sometime this summer. I promise.”
“Okay,” he said, pausing as he wondered how far along she would be then. “So, do you have an idea when this baby of ours will arrive?”
“Sometime in December, I think.”
“A winter baby? Nice,” he said, bringing her into his arms, needing to feel her body pressed up against his. After she planted the sweetest kiss on his lips, he disengaged from his fiancée and hopped up. Extending his hand to her, he waited for her to take it. “Now, let’s go downstairs and tell your father and get some food. I need to eat.”
With a chuckle, she let him help her up. “No. I don’t want to tell him right yet. Let’s head out to dinner first. I’ll tell him then.”
“He knows I was going to ask you …”
“Tonight?”
“Well, no.”
“We wait. My secret for now …”
Mia
Mia grasped Ethan’s hand as they entered the restaurant. She was surprised her hand didn’t slip from his she was so nervous. She hadn’t been back home since she’d become famous … since she’d met Ethan … and wondered if she’d be recognized. She was used to it, but this was home and she was with her father and her fiancé. A smile broke out on her face at that. Engaged to Ethan with her ring back on her finger. Her life was finally coming together.
They sat in a booth near the bar to give them a little bit of privacy. Ethan sat on the outside, his big body protecting her from onlookers, and her father sat across from them.
God, she couldn’t believe how things had gone this afternoon. Years she and her father hadn’t talked about what had happened and yet today, she and her father had reconciled. Even so, they still had a lot of work to do, but the two of them had each taken that needed step. Despite their strained relationship, Mia had always missed her father, had always loved him.
She watched him looking over the menu. He looked much older than she remembered. There was more white in his dark brown hair, more wrinkles around his eyes.
She shook her head at that. She’d missed years with him. They couldn’t change that, but they could definitely change it so it never happened again.
She wanted her father in her life, to be a part of her children’s lives.
The waitress came to take their orders and Mia saw the recognition immediately in the girl’s eyes but she played it cool. Mia would be sure to reward her for that later.
While Ethan and her father talked, Mia sat back and relaxed, sipping her water and observing both men. It surprised her how similar they were. Their height, their facial features. Their smiles …
Holy fuckin’ shit!
She choked on her water and proceeded to have an embarrassing coughing fit. How she’d never seen it before was beyond her. She was marrying her goddamn father!
Well, not really, but damn!
Her little display refocused her father’s attention on her. She could feel his eyes on her like beacons and was a little afraid to look up and see what was there. So, instead of looking directly at him, she toyed with her silverware and asked aloud the question that had been bothering her since getting the call from his assistant. “Papa … what happened? Why did you go to the hospital?”
“I’m fine. Just wasn’t managing my diabetes very well. Not a big deal.”
Not a big deal? Diabetes? How did she not know this?
“But you collapsed …”
“I did, but everything’s okay.”
Her father was never sick and to know he had some condition … she wasn’t buying “fine.”
“Are you sure?” she pressed.
“Yes, otherwise they wouldn’t let me out of the hospital, now would they?”
“I guess not,” she answered, but it still didn’t sit well with her. He was being a tad evasive. She didn’t like that and was going to ask more but he beat her to it
“I’m fine, ma fille.”
She nodded her head and stayed silent, lost in her thoughts. Her father was a fit man. He wasn’t overweight at all. She’d have to do more research into this and after she did, he’d better answer all her questions!
“Mia … don’t retreat. Talk to us,” he said, his commanding voice drawing her eyes to him. Both he and Ethan had their attention focused on her.
“I don’t know what to talk about. I mean, there is so much to say, but I have absolutely no idea where to start.”
“There is no right place, ma fille. Just talk.”
There is no right place … okay, she could do that. Life was short and too much of hers had been wasted on her past. No longer. If she wanted her father in her life, she’d have to be proactive about it. She wouldn’t let the awkwardness of years apart get in the way. First thing on her mind …
“We’re getting married this summer,” she said happily. Saying those words aloud felt so good. There was no way she could keep this a secret from her father. Summer couldn’t come quick enough.
“This summer?”
“Yeah, you free?”
His chuckle warmed her heart and her smile grew larger. “I am.”
“Good. I kind of need someone to walk me down the aisle and I was hoping that you could do the job … you know, since you’re my dad and all,” she spoke with a slight shrug of her shoulders, uncertainty filling her mind … and heart.
His laughter faded and his face took on a more serious demeanor. “Mia, I would love nothing more than to be a part of your wedding day. I … I thought it would never happen …that you’d never ask this of me …”
Her smile fell and she felt like absolute shit. She knew that even though her parents had hurt her, it didn’t completely excuse how she’d treated her father the past decade. She hadn’t even invited him to the first wedding they’d planned, hadn’t even called to tell him she’d been engaged. She had essentially cut him out of her life.
She’d hurt him too. Just like she’d hurt Ethan, Luke, and Tom. Anyone who meant anything to her. Mia hated that she had done that to them.
“I’m sorry, Papa. I handled things poorly. I messed up. I did things—made choices I normally wouldn’t have because I was trying to escape from my past instead of facing it. I’m not running anymore. The only running I want to do is for exercise. I want you to be an active part of my life. I need it.”
While she talked, her father looked pensive, not focusing on her, his eyes trained on something off to his right, and he remained silent for a long time before he spoke again.
“I want to talk about some of those choices. Specifically the drugs.”
Her chest got tight at the thought of telling her father about that. She opened her mouth to say something but noticed the waitress returning. This definitely was not the place.
Their food was right behind the waitress. Mia turned to her father. “I’m not ignoring your question. I will answer it, but not now. Not here. How about over ice cream?” she asked with a wink.
“Bribery?” he asked incredulously as the waitress placed his salmon in front of him.
“I want ice cream!”
“Fine, ma fille,” he said with exaggerated exasperation.
She grinned widely at her victory. At least she’d be getting ice cream now. Well, after dinner … though she could really do with a scoop or two right now. Man, was this what pregnancy was like? Crazy hunger and food cravings?
The rest of dinner passed somewhat quickly. After their meals were done, the fans emerged. At least she could be thankful that they’d let her eat.
She and Ethan each signed some autographs. She signed quite a few on T-shirts—the kind that covered young, very hot, college-aged men.
Mia enjoyed that. Ethan, not so much, as he stood off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest and a cute scowl on his face.
They posed for some pictures and then after Ethan paid the bill, the trio made their way to the Dairy Store. As they walked, Mia kept her mind off of what she would be telling her father shortly and concentrated on what flavor of ice cream she would get.
She needed chocolate, but she wanted fruit too. When it finally came time to order, she got a double scoop of banana choc-eye chunk and it was absolutely divine. She needed to find out where to get this ice cream in Indy, as she had a feeling she’d be wanting this a lot in the coming months.
As they headed back to the car, she decided to do some talking. “So, Papa, you want to talk about my drug use?”
She must have caught him off guard because he tripped but quickly righted himself. He looked over at her and then concentrated up ahead. “Oui.”
His slip into French alerted her to his apprehension about this. When she was younger and got in trouble, he would start out in English but as his emotions got to him, he would always change to French.
As much as she wanted to spare him any more pain, Mia needed to be honest with him. No more hiding.
“The first time I used drugs, I was sixteen,” she said matter-of-factly.
He grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Sixteen? In my house?”
“Yes to the age, but no, I never did any drugs in your house. I wanted to escape; I never had a death wish.”
Her father let go of her arm and continued walking. She and Ethan followed. Mia threaded her fingers through his outstretched hand, drawing support from his presence. They caught up to her dad but she stayed silent. He was stewing, thinking, probably wondering so many things. What drugs she’d taken. Who she’d taken them with. Where she’d gotten them. How often. Why.
She had answers for all of it, but she could pretty much guarantee he wouldn’t like them.
“Then what was your overdose?”
After her overdose, her father had tried incessantly to contact her. Mia ignored every single one of those attempts. She had felt that he was one of the reasons for the mess she was in.
Mia motioned to an empty bench up ahead. Time to tell her father the truth. She sat between him and Ethan. She crossed her legs at her ankles and pressed the heels of her palms into her thighs.
“One of the biggest mistakes of my life, yet also a wake-up call. I didn’t intend to overdose that night. I did try to drown out my pain. I’d had enough of it.”
“What pain, Mia?”
“The loss of Ethan, the recurrent thoughts of Mama leaving us, the fear of everyone leaving me, not loving me. My panic attacks and anxiety levels were through the roof. I never knew when an attack would hit and that knowledge … it, uh, just became too much. I couldn’t handle it anymore and I broke down.”
Her father’s gaze fell from her face to her hands that had a death-grip on her thighs. He covered her one hand closest to him with one of his and squeezed hard, making her relax enough so that he could remove her hand from her leg, and then he enclosed it in the strong hold of his two hands. The hands that had always held her up, kept
her safe when she was younger. That is until her mother left.
“Panic attacks? For how long?” he asked quietly.
“It seems like forever,” she admitted.
Though she hadn’t had one since she’d started her life plan … well, that and taking her medication. And it was helping her get back the people she needed in her life. Luke and Kaitlyn, Ethan, and now her father.
“Papa, I haven’t had a panic attack in almost a year. I’ve been going to therapy for about two years,” she said, needing to reassure him and Ethan, because they hadn’t really talked much about her therapy. “My therapist is great. She’s helped me through a lot,” she added.
He repeatedly shook his head. “It should never have gotten to that point and I apologize from the bottom of my heart for how I was after your mother left. I let my world fall apart. Every time I saw you, I saw her. You look so much like her. Her big eyes, that button nose, and that pouty mouth. Back then I was so angry with her for leaving and I let it carry over to you. And when I realized my mistake, I didn’t know how to get you back.”
“I didn’t help matters by running away, by ignoring you.”
“Yes, but you’re here now.”
Yes, she was, and her life had never felt more right.
Mia
Chicago, June 2011
“I’m here! I’m here!” Mia yelled out as she hurried over to her father. Kaitlyn, her junior and only bridesmaid, and Allie, one of her “best people,” were lined up, waiting. Mia was late for her own wedding rehearsal. The doctor’s appointment she’d had before all the chaos of the wedding and honeymoon ran late—very late. She looked over at Reagan, the wedding dictator. Be nice, Mia scolded herself. Remember what she had to accomplish in a very short amount of time. This wedding. Mia smiled apologetically. “Let’s get this started!”
As Reagan and the priest took charge of getting everyone in their places, Mia greeted her father. “Hi Papa,” she said, kissing his cheek. Having him back in her life had been so much more than she had ever expected. They spoke weekly, sometimes more. She would harp on him to make sure he was eating right because she needed him in her life for a long time to come. He would then be all fatherly and remind her to take care of herself and his grandchild. Mia loved it.
Never Over You Page 3
