Never Over You

by Ryleigh Andrews

  Luke turned to the table and greeted all the guys. She saw the hurt on her own face when she saw that Tom was gone. So there it was. Lizzie was right.

  “Where’d Tom go?” Mia asked.

  “Mumbled something about another drink and rushed off,” Clark answered.

  “Oh,” she said disappointedly.

  “Come with me. I need a drink, too,” Luke said, always in charge, holding out his hand for her. “And then we dance!”

  She took his hand and let him drag her off. The camera focused on the dance floor while the guys chatted. Mia waited for what she knew was to come. She barely controlled the urge to bounce on the balls of her feet.

  “Mia, sit down. You’re making me anxious,” Marty said.

  She shook her head. “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” Marty urged.

  “I know full well what happens this night. The only thing I don’t know is what Marc recorded. And after the earlier video, that scares me.”

  “What did you do?” Todd asked, grabbing her arm and spinning her to face him. She emphatically shook her head.

  “Not answering that.”

  “Mia,” Ethan spoke, his voice gentle yet firm. He eyed the empty seat next to him. When she hesitated, he said her name again. She exhaled and returned to sit next to her husband. He leaned into her and she felt his warm breath against her ear. “It’s okay, suga.”

  God, she sure hoped so.

  Her focus returned to the video. She was happy that this existed but then she wasn’t because of this situation right now. It’s one thing to hear about your lover’s exes, but to see them with them—torture. But Allie and Ethan wanted it. What could she do?

  Ethan put his arm across the top of the love seat. She leaned back and let him caress her shoulder because she needed him to calm her down.

  Tom came back with two drinks in his hands. He downed the first drink and slammed the empty glass onto the table and raked a hand through his hair as he stared out on the dance floor. She wondered if he was staring at her and Luke dancing.

  Marc set down the camera and it focused on some of the table including Tom and a lot of the dance floor.

  “Hey,” came Marc’s voice. “I’ll be back in a few. Watch the camera for me?”

  Tom nodded. A few moments later, he stretched out and pulled his cell phone from his front pocket. He punched the numbers with his fingers and returned his gaze to the dance floor.

  “Hi, Lizzie,” he spoke into the phone. “Yeah, I’m at a club tonight with a bunch of friends … Yes, she’s here … Because her ex-boyfriend showed up and whenever he comes around, she goes MIA for a bit and then when he leaves, we all help her pick up the pieces.”

  How true was that? She looked around the room at all of them. They knew exactly what Tom was talking about. They were always there for her. Every single goddamn time.

  “Watching over her while she drowns in alcohol or worse,” Tom listened to Lizzie, clearly frustrated by Mia’s choices.

  “Fuck, Mia,” Luke exclaimed. Mia winced and paused the video and let her best friend yell. “Tell me what Tom is talking about.”

  “What do you think he’s talking about?” she shot back. She hated talking about her drug use with him.

  “Goddamn it! Why do I always have to drag the truth out of you? Why can’t you just tell me?”

  She should have told him the truth—Because I am ashamed. So ashamed of how I acted back then. But instead she said, “You saw the video earlier! That’s what he is talking about! That was me for four years! I’ve told you this.”

  “No. You haven’t.”

  “Well, now you know,” she replied smartly, glaring at him and the anger in his eyes. She didn’t see that very often. Time to diffuse the situation. “You dealt with our separation one way. I dealt with it another. Your way would probably have been a lot more fun.”

  He cracked a grin and she knew it’d be okay. Humor solves the problem yet again.

  “We’re not finished talking about this.”

  “I know,” she said.

  “You will talk to me.”

  “I will,” she agreed with a placating smile.

  “Start the video again,” he ordered.

  She tapped the play button on the iPad and the video began again.

  “Shut up, Elizabeth McCullough.”

  Everyone in the room chuckled at Tom addressing her by her full name. “What did you say?” Marc asked her.

  “I don’t remember,” Lizzie answered and looked off. Mia wasn’t the only one riding an emotional roller coaster tonight. Lizzie must have felt Mia’s eyes on her because she turned and looked at Mia.

  Mia mouthed, “Are you okay?”

  Lizzie nodded, but her smile was sad.

  The two of them would sit down and talk soon, she just knew it. Part of her wasn’t looking forward to it, but then again she was. Time to get it all out. Just like these videos—get the past out.

  “She doesn’t remember,” Tom said. “What do you suggest? ‘Hey, Mia, a few weeks ago. I rocked your world. Sound familiar?’”

  Whatever Lizzie said in return caused him to grin and laugh.

  “I’m a dog, Liz. I shouldn’t have let that happen, but damn, it was Mia and she finally said yes. I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to come my way for four years. Since the very first day I met her.”

  For so long, she’d thought Tom had just been teasing her as the new person to their group, that he hadn’t really wanted her, but fuck, he had. Damn, her interpersonal communication skills sucked ass. Even to this day.

  “No, I didn’t ask her before. What I meant was that the interest was there—finally. She’s always so damn shy. I didn’t know whether or not she liked me.”

  Ethan laughed and she turned her eyes on him. “I told you, husband. I was awkward.”

  “It’s all an act,” Marty added.

  “Seriously?” she said.

  “You are one of the most confident people I know.”

  “When it comes to my career, I will agree. But with my personal life, not at all. I make bad decisions all the time as evidenced by the two videos we have seen tonight, by all the drugs I’ve taken. By the beating I took to get this scar,” she said, gesturing to scar given to her by some frat boy looking for more than she wanted to give. “By many of the decisions I made during our entire second tour. Ethan can probably add more to this list, right?”

  “Mia …” he started, looking very uncomfortable. He would never say anything.

  “See? I’m right,” she said, falling back into the sofa. “Let’s continue with the video.”

  By that time, Tom had hung up the phone and was nursing another drink. His eyes focused on something on the dance floor. She searched his line of sight and then she saw herself and Luke, his body so close to hers, his hands sliding up her torso. Her hands were up in the air near his head. Dancing was a kind of foreplay to them. They both got so turned on and often left the club early to go out to his Range Rover.

  This night, they didn’t dance long. She saw the booth on the screen and then she saw it—Luke’s move. He backed her against the small partition wall between two booths and then he was attacking her mouth with his kisses. She barely saw it, but she knew what he did next, so she knew what to look for. His hand slid down her thigh before it made a return trek up and under her skirt.

  She glanced over at Tom on the screen. His face full of rage. He had definitely seen them and slammed back his drink.

  “What is Tom seeing? He’s super pissed,” Lizzie asked quietly. She hadn’t seen it. Thank God. Maybe no one would. She looked over at Luke. From the stark expression on his face, he’d seen it. They made eye contact and he shook his head and smiled.

  “Are you two, uh … ?” Allie couldn’t finish her thought.

  “Doing it?” Mia answered. “Not yet.”

  Every head in the room turned to stare at her. Luke had the nerve to laugh. She shrugged her shoulders. They wanted to s
ee it—this was what they’d get.

  “Bright side—no moans will be heard on this video.”

  “Oh, I don’t know …” Luke teased which earned him a glare from his wife.

  “It’s really weird seeing this. I’ve only ever seen you two as friends. This,” Ethan said, pointing at the television screen, “seems so out of character for you guys.”

  “Now, yeah. Back then, no,” she replied.

  Mia tried not to laugh because it was true. Not much had held them back. They’d had a lot of sex. Everything back then was focused on sex and it wasn’t until they really broke up that their relationship was more about love and friendship.

  He grabbed her hand and pulled her away towards the exit off-screen.

  “Where did you guys go?” Allie asked.

  “Out to my Range Rover,” Luke answered.

  “Why?” Allie asked, scrutinizing her husband.

  “Uh, I needed some air,” Mia answered for Luke.

  “‘Air’?” Ethan air-quoted. She looked at him and smiled.

  “Yes. Air,” she said, trying to say it with a straight face but couldn’t.

  “A car at a club?” Ethan pressed.

  “Hey! Don’t get on my case about the car. You and me … my old Pathfinder. Limos, the Mercedes, the Beemer. Private jets. I could go on.”

  “The private jet is not a car,” her husband pointed out.

  “But it was fun,” she said and it shut him up. “Oooh! My tennis court!” she exclaimed, slapping at his thigh.

  He raised his eyebrows for a moment in thought then grinned and nodded in agreement. “And you can’t forget the basketball court. You had dogs howling all over the neighborhood,” he added.

  “Okay! Enough with the reminiscing of all the places you two had sex,” Luke said.

  “Luke’s laundry room!” Mia added to rile Luke up.

  “Wait. What?”

  “Haha!” she laughed, finally settling in to enjoy her birthday. She needed this easy camaraderie with everyone.

  Nothing interesting happened in the video for a few minutes then Marc returned to the booth and grabbed his camera. “Where’d everyone go?” he asked before the tape went fuzzy.

  “It’s not over,” Marc said.

  “More sex?” Lizzie asked.

  “No. Just watch.”

  When the video finally turned back on, everyone was in the booth, including Tom who was next to Marc. The two of them were across from Mia and Luke. Mia was cradled on Luke’s lap, asleep, her hand resting up on his shoulder. The guys were talking about sports, of course. They were so animated talking about the Chicago Inferno game the night before. He may have worked for the Flash, but Luke would always be an Inferno fan.

  “You traitor! I never knew you were an Inferno fan,” Ethan said to Luke. Mia stifled a laugh.

  “I grew up here. Of course I was an Inferno fan.”

  Mia finally started to wake up. She stretched her back, sticking out her chest. Her hand trailed down Luke’s chest and stopped in her lap.

  “You are the cutest thing ever when you wake up,” Ethan whispered in her ear. His breath was warm and it sent shivers throughout her body. She bit her lip to stop a moan from escaping her mouth. She liked her husband’s commentary during this video.

  “Ugh, sports talk. Wake me up when you talk about something else,” she stated before snuggling further into Luke’s chest. He chuckled and then leaned closer to her.

  “Do you want to go?” Luke asked, tucking her hair back behind her ear. She looked up at him, a sleepy smile on her face, and shook her head and spoke but it couldn’t be heard over all the background noise.

  “Are you feeling all right?” Luke asked, touching her forehead with the back of his hand.

  “Just really tired,” she responded, resting her head back on his shoulder.

  “Are you pregnant?” Luke asked in a hushed voice that was barely picked up by the camera.

  Ethan grabbed the iPad from her and paused the video. “Why the hell is Luke asking this?”

  “I don’t know,” Mia answered, equally surprised by this.

  “Because she threw up when we were outside and then she passed out in my lap. That so was not like her,” Luke answered.

  “Resume the video,” Mia ordered her husband. Holy fuck—Tom. The pieces were flowing at her like the debris during a mudslide. There was a good chance she had been, but back then, she hadn’t known that.

  “Unless you got me pregnant tonight,” Mia answered Luke.

  “Aren’t you on birth control?”

  She shook her head and he did not look happy with her. “Since when?” he growled.

  “Since the last time I saw you.”

  “Mia. That was four months ago!”

  “Why use it if you’re not having sex?” she questioned.

  “You’re not?”

  “No. Not since you.”

  That had hurt to admit. She’d missed him so much.

  “Don’t look at me like that! I am not like you. I don’t sleep with everything that has a dick.” He looked at her wide-eyed and a smile played with her mouth. “You know what I mean.”

  “You know I don’t do that, Mia.”

  “Oh, really? It didn’t take long after we broke up for you to find someone else to lie beneath you.”

  “But I waited.”

  “Would you have stayed faithful to me if we’d stayed together?”

  “Yes, but we’re not together now thanks to you.”

  “No. That was because you couldn’t keep your dick in your fucking pants when around Taylor,” She tried to leave but he held her firm to his chest.

  “Let me go, Luke,” she said, pushing against him, her voice wavering. He put his head to hers, his hazel eyes capturing hers.

  “You see, I can’t do that,” he replied, his voice smooth except for just a hint of a tremor.

  “Luke,” she spoke, her hand on his chest, clutching his shirt. He leaned closer, his mouth to her ear. What he said couldn’t be heard on the tape. Whatever he said though made her cry, silent tears falling from her eyes.

  “What did you say, Luke?” Allie asked her husband and Mia looked over at him, wondering if he would answer.

  “I don’t remember,” he said, his eyes fixed on Mia. But he did. Mia saw it in his eyes.

  I’ll love you forever, Mia.

  “Oh, my God! You were pregnant,” Marc stated loudly.

  “No. I wasn’t,” she said, pausing the video.

  “A few weeks after this, you left work with what you said was the worst period ever. I saw you double over in pain. You couldn’t even drive. I drove you home that night. I even went to Walgreens and got you pads and tampons. I stayed with you, listening to you cry out in pain all night.”

  Her heart started to beat faster. Could she have been pregnant with Tom’s baby? So possible.

  “I wasn’t pregnant,” she repeated, standing up from the sofa.

  “You begged me for something to take away the pain, Mia,” Marc persisted. “You told me it had never hurt like that before. Back then I didn’t even put it together, but now … Mia, you know.”

  “No. I do not!” she yelled. Her hand automatically went to her belly, thankful for the presence of this baby. Two miscarriages. Three dead babies. Her mind knew that Marc was right and if she really wanted more evidence, all she had to do was go downstairs and go through her journals. She always made note of her periods. But what would that actually do for her? Nothing. It wasn’t like knowing would make any difference in her life.

  “I know nothing. That was eleven years ago. I was high or drunk more than I wasn’t back then. I didn’t want to remember anything!”

  I don’t want to remember now. I don’t want to be reminded of what an utter fuck-up I was back then.

  Ethan

  Ethan stared after his wife when she quickly muttered her apologies and ran from the room. He knew she was upset.

  Tonight, her past had been put on
display for all to dissect and analyze. Old memories must have been flying chaotically through her mind. And for someone who liked to keep her past neat and tidy and in the past, this must have been overwhelming.

  He was surprised by what he had found out—her relationship with Tom, the true extent of her drug use, and seeing her and Luke as a couple—not friends. It was interesting to see how his wife had been before him. Pretty much the same, except younger and a lot more hurt. He was also very thankful. Things kind of made sense now. Hell, who was he kidding? All he had were just more pieces to the Mia puzzle. Wonder if he’d ever complete that puzzle.

  Seeing her and Luke together had been painful. Knowing that they had sex was a hell of a lot different than seeing their affection for each other. She had loved him and she was hurt by him too.

  He glanced up as Luke followed his wife out of the room. Luke should not be comforting her. That job belonged to him.

  Rising from the sofa, he set off to find them. As he made his way to the front of the house, Luke’s voice halted him. Ethan stepped into the dining room and hid behind the partition wall framing the walk-through to the living room where his wife and Luke were sitting side by side on the sofa, his arm around her shoulders, her head snuggled by his neck.

  “I never knew how upset you were back then. I should have backed away and let you go … but that was easier said than done,” Luke said, brushing aside her hair.

  Tell me about it, Ethan thought. When they first broke up, after that disastrous time in St. Paul, he couldn’t let go. He was drawn to her, powerless to fight it. The same damn thing after their engagement ended. He couldn’t get her out of his mind and knew that if she were to end their marriage, he would never be able to let her go. He loved her too much. He belonged to her—forever.

  “I wouldn’t have changed a thing. If you weren’t there, I would have been with Tom and you would never have introduced me to Ethan,” she said calmly, sure of what she was saying.

  Luke glanced down at her, a tender look in his eyes. “You still love him.”

  And Ethan’s heart flipped when she smiled. “I do.” Her hand went to her mouth, her fingers pressed against her lips. “God! That just came out. I haven’t said it in months. I love Ethan,” she said, testing it out and her beautiful smile grew.