“Uh, Ethan?” she asked, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re making me nervous standing there like that.”
With her head, she motioned for him to join her. He leaned down, his hands on either side of her head, and kissed her forehead. “Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just do it,” he replied. She sighed happily and did as he asked. He rose from the bed and went to his bag to get the present from the boys.
He pulled a box out of his bag and took out two rings. As he walked back to her, he spoke. “So the boys got you a little something for your birthday …”
“Oh, yeah?” she asked, curiosity covering her face. He knelt between her parted legs and reached for her right hand. He slid on Pierce’s ring first, then Rory’s, and watched her beautiful face as they went on. It changed from curiosity to happiness as a big smile covered her face.
“Okay. Open your eyes.”
His eyes didn’t leave her face as she brought her hand closer to inspect her gift. Her own eyes filled with tears. She glanced quickly at him before returning to her hand. “Oh my. They are the color of the boys’ eyes.”
The last time he’d had them, they’d gone to the jewelry store and his sons picked out something for their mom. They had wanted a ring like the one she had on her left hand and that led to the simple bands they’d selected, each with two stones in it. A dark brown smoky quartz for Rory and a yellowy-brown topaz for Pierce.
“Yeah, they picked them out for you. I also had them engraved. It’s tiny and I don’t know if your eyes can make it out.”
She laughed at his joke and stuck her tongue out at him. After taking the first ring off, she tried to read it, her eyes squinting hard and with a dramatic flourish, she handed the ring to him.
“What does it say?”
“Rory’s says, ‘My mommy is the sweetest.’”
As he read the inscription, more tears filled her eyes. She took off the other ring and handed it to him. “And Pierce’s?”
“‘I love my mommy’s smile.’”
“I love this. Thank you,” she said, cupping his face with her soft hands. She pulled him down and gently kissed his lips. Again, intimacy initiated by her. God, he hoped this meant the end of their separation … at least, a big step in that direction.
“So, do I get a present from you?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye.
“You do, but it’s at home.”
“You forgot it?”
“No. That’s where I want to give it to you.”
“Oooh! Is it a car?”
“No—wait! You want a new car already?” They’d just bought two cars last year.
“A car is like a purse …”
“No, it’s really not.”
She laughed and he knew she was just teasing him. He liked that a whole lot. “Are you going to give me a hint?” she asked a little while later.
“No.”
He had purchased a trip to a secluded beach for just the two of them. He wanted something for them alone. To simply relax with one another, be romantic. That was his intent when he’d set it up over four months ago. Before all this happened. Now, it would be done to reconnect with each other. He just needed her to come back to him.
She rolled over and playfully pouted and surprised herself when she let out a big yawn. He smiled. Tonight they would just sleep. And he would have another night with her in his arms.
Mia
Next Morning
Regarding the sexy man above her, Mia grasped onto his strong biceps as he did his damnedest to make her feel so fucking amazing. Sex with Ethan the past few times had been unlike anything they had ever experienced—the way she had been coming, the way she felt so connected to him—and she didn’t want to stop.
With a different tilt of his hips, he hit just the right spot and her head fell back, a loud, drawn-out moan passed her lips, and with it, his face was right above hers. “I belong to you. I am yours. And you belong to me. You are mine. This is your body accepting that,” he said right before her body exploded beneath him. She seriously saw stars she came that fucking hard.
“That’s right, Mia. Keep coming, suga. Fuck!” he roared out as he followed her into the best damn bliss ever.
He collapsed beside her, right onto his stomach and buried his head in his pillow. She’d totally be sleeping with that pillow after he left to go back to Indy in a little bit. Training camp began on Tuesday.
Eventually he turned his head to look at her, a look of confusion on his face. “Mia, what are we doing?”
“Having the best sex we’ve ever had,” she answered, wondering what he was getting at.
“That’s it?” he asked, turning over and sitting against the headboard.
She remained quiet. She didn’t want to address their marriage or lack thereof. But sex … they did that very well. It didn’t hurt. Far from it.
“I don’t know. Maybe that’s what we should stick to …”
“Mia,” he cocked his head to the side, a hurt look on his face. “We’re more than that.”
I know, she thought soberly. You were my life—my home. I don’t know what you are now.
Instead she said, “Are we? We don’t screw up here. You make me feel good and I do the same to you. It doesn’t hurt here. There aren’t emotions involved.”
“You’re wrong. When I’m inside of you, all I’m thinking about is how much I love you.”
“Stop,” she warned.
“I love you, Mia. Don’t you know that?”
“I do!” she exclaimed, scrambling up, her eyes transfixed by his face. She could see the love.
“Don’t you love me?” he asked and she could tell it hurt him to verbalize that question.
“I love what you do to my body.” A truth.
“And your heart?”
“I love what you do to that too,” she admitted, her fingers unconsciously resting upon the center of her chest.
“You’re fighting against saying the words,” he observed. He rolled his body over and then he was hovering above her, gazing into her eyes. “It’s okay to say you love me. It’s not gonna hurt you.”
She scoffed at that, thinking of all the times love hurt.
The separation when she first met him.
Her second world tour where their hearts had to deal with the long-distance and not seeing each other.
Him and Kristen.
Her and Todd.
Their breakup.
Her miscarriage and all the time not getting pregnant.
His affair—
“That’s where you’re wrong,” she replied.
Ethan left her in bed an hour later on his way back to Indy. Mia had a lot to think about but her boys didn’t give her the opportunity. Bridgette was officially on vacation. Pregnancy brain had her forgetting that she had given her nanny another week of vacation to make up for begging Bridgette to come home early on her last vacation.
And Mia was fine with that but what she didn’t realize was how exhausted she’d be after packing the day full of activities to keep the boys entertained. By the time she got the boys in bed, all Mia wanted to do was collapse in her own.
But now that she was alone, Mia needed to delve into everything that had come up at her party, her feelings about Ethan and their relationship, but as she lay on her bed, the exhaustion seeping from her bones, she thought it best to take a nice long nap and when she awoke, she’d be nice and refreshed and able to do some good thinking.
A few hours later, she woke to the buzzing of her phone. The James Bond theme alerted her that it was Ethan and she smiled. Their first kiss had happened while watching a Bond movie. The kiss they shared outside the bathroom the day of her birthday party had felt like that, but with so much more passion and love. She knew that he loved her. But right now she didn’t know what to do with that information. So she picked up her phone and read the message from her husband.
Ethan
July 20, 2015, 10:47 PM
Why aren’t you here?
Ethan?
Why do we have to be apart any longer?
I still have my appointment in two weeks. I’ll be down then.
You ignored my question.
I did not.
Whatever.
Did you just whatever me?
I did.
Hmpf.
Why do we have to be apart any longer?
Mia knew what he wanted—to talk but she wasn’t sure if she was ready.
I don’t know.
Why don’t you know, Mia?
I’m confused, okay? I don’t know what to do.
It felt weird to be so honest about that, to tell her husband how she felt. But if they were going to survive, she needed to do more of it.
We had a great weekend together, Mia. Better than great.
I know and that confuses me. I enjoyed myself—a lot. Well … except for our little shouting match and maybe not all the insight into my past. But yeah, that weekend was close to perfect.
I was happy to learn more about your past. Even if it was a tad uncomfortable.
Told you!
But I still saw your pain. You carried it with you all the time back then. I didn’t see that until I saw the video. You look different without the pain, suga.
Maybe that’s just age …
That too. You are a beautiful woman.
You say that after seeing the stoned me? The drunk me?
All that past made the woman I love today.
“Oh,” she said aloud, reading his words over again. She chewed on her bottom lip while the tears came to her eyes and spilled hotly over her cheeks. She was not indifferent to his love. It made her feel good. It still made her happy. She felt lighter. Freer.
Before she could respond, he sent another text.
It’s been a long time since I felt that connected to you.
What do you mean?
Well, I felt like I understood you better and I liked that—a lot. I mean, I like your mystery but I like it even better when I find things out. I can try to put the pieces together. I really had no idea just how serious you and Luke were. I thought it was a casual thing that turned into friendship but you really did love him.
I did. I love him still.
I know that. I heard you tell him at your party.
You did?
Yes.
And?
I’m not upset. I mean, yes, it did freak me out a little. I’m not going to lie.
How long were you there?
Uh …
Ethan!
She frantically tried to remember all that she and Luke had discussed. Had they mentioned the pregnancy? She wondered if Ethan heard her say that she still loved him.
What were you scared of?
She knew she couldn’t lie to him. He obviously was there after the admission of love. He heard her words but she now needed to tell him.
That you and I wouldn’t make it. That what we have together isn’t enough. I realized I wanted it to work and I’m afraid that we can’t fix it.
You want it to work?
Of course I do, Ethan! I just don’t know if it’s going to work. I’m not as optimistic as you.
My optimism is based off you. I had no idea until a couple minutes ago that you actually wanted it to work out for us. I am definitely more optimistic now.
She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face, envisioning him all flustered and excited, a smile of his own breaking out on his face. The smile that could still make her knees weak.
So, Mia, the ball, so to speak, is in your court. What do you want us to do?
Talk.
She was going to take Luke’s advice because she was finally beginning to realize Ethan needed her to do that. She also needed to know what was going on with him. At the party, as they sat on her front steps, she’d seen the broken Ethan. “I was not a confident man when I cheated on you. I was an insecure coward.”
Good plan.
I had help with it.
Yeah I knew that :)
How much did you hear, Ethan?
We both have a lot to say to each other.
He knew she was hiding something. And he was not going to ask. He was going to let her tell him—in her own time.
We do.
Ethan, this scares me.
I know, suga. Me too.
You’re scared?
It happens. More often than you know.
She’d always known he was a worrier. That’s why she spared him a lot of what she had been thinking, but look where that had gotten them. But they were talking now. Really talking.
These were baby steps, she knew that. But they were steps. Can’t go from shit communication to expert levels without practice.
Lots and lots of practice.
Mia
Chicago, July 31, 2015
As soon as Bridgette and the boys left to go to the park, Mia raced upstairs to change into her running gear. Bridgette had returned late yesterday from her vacation and Mia was so damn happy. She needed a run—a serious long distance one, the kind she couldn’t take her sons on. She got changed and before she attached her phone to her armband, Mia checked her messages and smiled upon seeing one from Ethan.
They’d been talking a lot more these last few days, usually late at night, right before he went to bed. Training camp had been brutal this past week—insanely hot temperatures, well into the hundreds, plus high humidity. She heard his exhaustion but it didn’t stop them from talking—either via text, phone, or Skype. He asked her all about stuff from her past. He asked about Tom, her creepy old boss, and the early days with the band. She knew what he was doing. They were practicing on the easier admissions before they discussed their relationship.
She was thankful for it.
Though … she wanted to continue having these talks in person, laying by his side. When she went for her appointment next week, Mia planned on staying at their house—not Luke’s.
Sliding her finger over his message, she opened and then read it.
Ethan
July 31, 2015, 9:36 AM
Skype date. Tonight. 1000 pm. Clothing optional.
A laugh bubbled out of her mouth at that text as she set about responding.
Clothing optional?
I’ll take you whatever way I can, suga. With clothes or without.
How about you talk me outta them?
I CANNOT wait until 10!
She left it like that and attached her phone in the armband. The thought of this upcoming Skype call had her hoping this day went fast.
The moment Mia turned the doorknob, the doorbell rang. Mia didn’t have enough time to register it before opening the door.
Before her stood a tall, beautiful blonde. Mia took a step back, a death grip on the door, as she realized who was standing in front of her.
Kristen.
The women were silent as they stared at each other. Kristen was dressed to impress while Mia had on her baggiest running clothes. Another reason that woman made her feel inferior.
“May I come in?” Kristen asked. Mia didn’t want that. She didn’t want that woman in her house but her curiosity as to what Kristen wanted had her stepping back and letting her in. Mia walked down the hallway to the dining room and stood in front of the wall with all their family pictures so Kristen had to look at that when she spoke to her.
“How did you know where to find me?”
“I’m a reporter. It’s my job.”
“Why are you here?”
“I was at the Flash Headquarters yesterday and overheard a conversation between Ethan and his friend, Luke. I, uh, knew what they were talking about.”
“You fucking my husband.”
Kristen visibly winced at Mia’s words, but she took a deep breath and continued on. “Yeah … that’s why I’m here. Ethan wasn’t taking my calls and I didn’t want to force the issue. If he wanted to forget then fine. If he told you, that was up to him. That wasn’t my decision
. But when I realized he had said something to you and you were apart, I knew I had to talk to you to tell you what I knew.”
“And what do you know?” Mia asked hesitantly, not sure if she wanted to hear whatever Kristen had to say.
“I’m sorry. I truly am and I hate—”
“Please. Just answer my question,” Mia shouted.
“Ethan and I didn’t have sex that night,” Kristen said, the words spilling out of her mouth.
“What?” Mia dumbly said. She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. Ethan didn’t have sex with Kristen. Shaking her head, she didn’t know what to say or think.
“I realize it’s a shock to you. I’ll try my best to explain.”
Yes, please do, Mia thought.
“From the moment, Ethan walked into the conference room for the interview, I could tell something was eating at him. So after it was over, I asked him to join me for a drink. He drank so much—more than I’d ever seen—and I joined him. I hate admitting this, but I kissed him first. He responded and then we were … umm …”
“Don’t spare me. Just tell it!” Mia said, not liking what she was hearing.
Kristen nodded her head and continued. “We were kissing and things were getting heated. Once in my room, clothes were discarded, but I don’t remember anything once I hit the bed. The next thing I remember was waking up, naked and alone. I think we passed out and nothing happened.”
Hearing Kristen say she was naked made Mia see red. Kristen was naked in bed with her husband. Glaring at her, Mia thought about Ethan having his mouth and hands on her body, that he tore off her clothes.
“Your conscience wishes that was the case.”
“I won’t deny that, but I honestly didn’t feel like I’d had sex. Mia, I have nothing to gain from telling you this. I could have let it go … I could have said we did it, but I really don’t think that was the case. I really don’t. I’m not trying to excuse any of what I did. I know you hate me. I hate myself for ever letting it get that far. I didn’t think I could be that woman. That I am that woman.”
Never Over You Page 39
