Falling from Disgrace

by Maretta, L

  “You were adorable.” Jack grinned at the photo showing Adrianna eighteen years younger. Upon concluding that when she was dressing up as a pumpkin at eight years old, he was a teenager egging houses on Halloween, he chuckled.

  Adrianna passed the cigarette back to Jack and took the photo from him. She tapped the scrolled edges of the metal frame and struggled to recall memories of the night it was taken. Sadly, she couldn’t come up with one from that specific night.

  “This was taken the year Rachel and I met,” she offered without being prompted. “We were both in Mrs. Barton’s second grade class and Rachel was so shy. One day these two nasty girls, Melanie Decker and Nicole Randall, were making fun of her on the playground. Since she was missing her two front teeth she spoke with a slight lisp. Anyhow I overheard them teasing her and so I walked over, grabbed Rachel’s hand and marched her away from them, threatening that if they bothered her again I would tell Tommy Dristol about all the love notes Melanie had written about him. We became best friends from that day on.”

  Jack adored the way Adrianna told the story as if it had happened yesterday and without looking away from the picture. He also felt his heart ache for her a little bit more.

  “You two were really close,” he stated.

  “Closer than sisters.”

  “You have any more pictures? I’d like to see them.”

  The photo album she had found buried beneath her jeans weeks ago was still sitting on her dresser and so Adrianna climbed from the bed to retrieve it. She cried while she shared the album with Jack, though only a few tears. Most of the time she laughed at the embarrassing photos while she told him of the stories behind each of one. As Jack relived parts of Adrianna’s childhood with her, he somehow fell more deeply in love.

  Chapter 12

  Job hunting sucks. Especially in today’s economy, and to say that Adrianna was getting a bit discouraged would have been an understatement. For over a month she scoured the internet and newspapers in search of something she could do with her degree and came up short every time. With her background in chemistry and biology she would have been a prime candidate for biotechnology companies, but she steered clear of those at first. Most of those jobs were with pharmaceutical corporations and she didn’t think it the best idea to start working with and around medications. Then when she didn’t have any luck elsewhere she thought screw it, and tried for the pharmaceutical companies. Unfortunately, those jobs required lab experience she didn’t have or they wanted the experience to be more recent than what she had taken in college four years ago. She searched for government jobs, clinic jobs, hospital jobs, and everything in between but never had any luck. Who was she kidding? Someone with no job experience and who had done virtually nothing for the last four years was way behind in the game of employment. She was worried she was going to have to suck it up and beg Jack for a job at Loki’s soon.

  Her fruitless search for a job was majorly depressing but a series of other factors kept Adrianna from going insane and regressing. For one, she had made good on her promise to Jack and had been working with his trainer friend five days a week. Robert was a boulder-sized guy with bleached, spiky hair and hardly any neck, but he was Adrianna’s favorite person in the world next to Jack. He had her working on a regimen of light weight lifting, core strengthening, yoga, and water aerobics to help her with her back. It was difficult at first but after four weeks of working out, Adrianna felt normal, for lack of a better word. Normal, however, was the best she could come up with to describe the fact that she was rarely in pain and her back felt stronger than ever.

  In addition, and even though she was hesitant at first, she was seeing a therapist once a week. Yes, Jack had to (gently) push her to do it, but each session she attended went better than the previous one and she did feel she was making progress. The guilt was still there, but she liked how Dr. Thornton didn’t immediately tell Adrianna she was wrong or ridiculous for feeling responsible for Rachel’s death. Instead, she was helping Adrianna to confront her grief and guilt and had a way of leading Adrianna to make revelations on her own, as a good doctor should. She did prescribe an antidepressant to Adrianna but assured her that the risks certainly were outweighed by the pros of being on the medication.

  And then, of course, there was Jack. Even after more than two months of seeing each other, he continued to be wonderful and Adrianna frequently contemplated what she had done to deserve him. They saw each other daily and always spent the night together at one of their apartments. Free to enjoy the perks of a regular relationship, Adrianna let Jack dote on and spoil her and Jack loved every minute of doing it. He took her out to dinner, to the movies, and to White Sox games. He cooked for her, introduced her to his friends, and was planning to bring her to meet his mother soon. Besides the job, Adrianna’s life had done a total one-eighty and she had Jack to thank for every positive change.

  Refusing to give up all hope yet, Adrianna returned from the gym early one morning and went straight to her laptop. Jack, who had closed the bar the night before, was still sound asleep in her bed and she didn’t want to disturb him. She got cozy on her couch with a cup of coffee and searched for any changes to the online employment ads. She spotted an ad that piqued her interest and even though she knew it was a long shot, she emailed her resume to the contact person listed in the advertisement. The job wasn’t one she had ever envisioned herself doing but she thought it would be something that would make her happy.

  Jack came shuffling out of the bedroom just as Adrianna was closing her laptop, looking deliciously disarrayed as he always did in the morning. His eyes were bright blue and sleepy, his hair was sticking out in every direction, and his warm body was on display thanks to the fact he wore only a pair of black and grey striped boxer-briefs. He reclined on the sofa, taking Adrianna’s coffee with a smirk and stretched his legs across her lap. Still half-asleep, he sipped the stolen drink quietly while Adrianna played with the hair on his legs. Having learned early on that Jack was quiet when he first woke up, Adrianna let him sit silently for a while before she stole her coffee back from him. Jack released the cup reluctantly and then took Adrianna’s hand in his to kiss it.

  Noticing her workout clothes he asked, “Did you go to the gym already?”

  “Mm hmm,” she answered. “I woke up early and figured I’d get it out of the way.” Jack, who kept in shape by lifting cases of beer and doing P90X videos a few days a week, admired that she took to working out easily. It was just another thing he was proud of her for.

  “Anything hopeful, job wise?” he asked nodding towards her laptop sitting on the coffee table.

  “Actually,” she said, “I just submitted my resume to one.”

  “What was it?”

  “I don’t want to tell you yet,” Adrianna murmured, looking at him from the corner of her eye.

  “It’s not stripping is it?” Jack joked though he was just the tiniest bit troubled. He knew Adrianna was determined to find a job but he also knew the market was tough right now.

  “Of course not!” she cried, pulling on his leg hair in chastisement which caused Jack to hiss in pain. “I’m just a little hopeful about this one and I don’t want to jinx myself.”

  “Since when are you superstitious, Olive Oyl?” he yawned.

  “Since I’ve been looking for over a month with no luck, Popeye. Too easy, by the way.”

  “It’s early, give a guy a break.”

  Adrianna set her coffee next to her laptop and then lifted one of Jack’s legs so she could stretch in between them, resting her chin just below his belly button. Reaching down, Jack released her clip so that her hair spilled down around her shoulders and tickled his stomach. He had jokingly made a rule weeks ago that she wasn’t allowed to have her hair up in his presence. Now that he had access, he took up one of his new favorite pastimes, running his fingers through his girlfriend's silky locks.

  “Even if I don’t hear anything, I’ll tell you what it was. Maybe I don’t want to get m
y hopes up,” Adrianna sighed.

  “Something will work out,” Jack reassured her. “You’ll see.”

  Jack knew it wasn’t a money situation with Adrianna. Though she never told him an exact number, he knew financially, Adrianna was pretty much set up for life. Still, a job right now would make her happy and he wanted her to be happy. He wished he knew someone who could help her get her foot in the door somewhere but he wasn’t exactly surrounded by people who worked in the science field. He’d offer her a job at the bar but he knew she would never accept it.

  “Well, the one I applied for is a long shot but what have I got to lose, right?”

  Surprisingly, Adrianna got a phone call later that day to interview for the position Monday morning.

  After spending two days shopping for the perfect outfit for her interview, Adrianna had purchased two, hoping Jack would help her decide. His assistant manager, Kenny, was closing the bar Friday night and Jack went over to Adrianna’s late that evening. He was reclining on her bed while she played dress up for him. He thought it was adorable that she was so excited and nervous and Adrianna did feel a little foolish, acting like a teenager getting ready for her first date. She really was excited though.

  She stood before Jack in outfit number one; a black business dress that hit just past her knees with a matching blazer. She wanted the full effect and so she even put on the nude pantyhose and black heels she would wear with it.

  “What do you think?” she asked, trying to look casual and relaxed in her posture.

  “I think you look sexy as hell,” Jack told her with a wink. He had shed his bar t-shirt and was lying on Adrianna’s bed, shirtless with one hand propping his head up. Absentmindedly, he moved his other hand across his bare chest and thought about what he’d like to do to Adrianna in that outfit.

  “Jack!” Adrianna whined. “You aren’t helping. I don’t want to look sexy, I want to look professional.”

  Exasperated, she shed her clothes and then dressed in outfit number two; a grey pencil skirt with a white, button-down, oxford blouse.

  “Well?”

  “Ugh,” Jack groaned. “Even sexier.”

  Annoyed, Adrianna actually stomped her foot. “You’re useless!” She knew Jack was trying to be cute but she really was nervous about the interview and he wasn’t making things any easier.

  Jack laughed and sat up on the bed, reaching for Adrianna’s hand and pulling her to stand between his legs. “I’m sorry,” he grinned, placing his hands gently at her hips. “You’d look sexy in a potato sack. You go to work wearing clothes like that and I’m going to have a hard time letting you leave in the morning.”

  With a shake of her head, Adrianna replied, “Well, if it’s any consolation, if I get this job I probably won’t be wearing outfits like this?”

  She still hadn’t clued Jack in to what the job was and he tried not to pester her too much about it, but he was getting impatient.

  “Oh?” he asked. “What will you be wearing?”

  “I’m not sure,” Adrianna confessed, thinking on her answer. “Maybe scrubs?”

  Groaning again, Jack closed his eyes and let his head fall against Adrianna’s stomach. “Scrubs?” he moaned.

  “Do not tell me you think scrubs are sexy!” Adrianna fisted Jack’s hair and yanked his head back so that he looked up at her.

  “Scrubs in general, no. You in scrubs, however? I’m picturing you giving me a sponge bath now and that is hot.”

  Smirking, Adrianna told him, “Picture something like Scooby-Doo or Tweety Bird scrubs.”

  “Are you interviewing for a job at a children’s hospital or something?” Jack wondered.

  “No. But you’re close,” she hinted.

  “You still aren’t going to tell me?”

  “Nope.”

  Jack snarled with mock disdain. “You’re mean.” He placed his lips against her belly to show that he was joking. “You know,” he continued, “with just a few adjustments, this outfit would be perfect.”

  Before Adrianna could ask what he meant, Jack pulled at the hem of her skirt so that it bunched up at the top of her thighs. Then he reached up to her blouse and popped the top three buttons, exposing an awful lot of her cleavage. Leaning back to admire his handy work, Jack growled deep in his chest. “Jesus, I could eat you alive.”

  Playing along, Adrianna hiked her skirt up a bit more and straddled Jack’s leg, pressing herself down just at his knee. She pulled him closer where he joined their mouths together, holding Adrianna to him by the back of her head. His lips left hers to travel down to her breasts where he kissed the pale, soft, exposed swells. Jack’s cell phone rang but they both chose to ignore it, too wrapped up in each other to care about anything else.

  Indulging in Jack’s fantasy, Adrianna slid to her knees on the floor and pulled at Jack’s legs until he scooted to the edge of the bed. While she worked on unbuttoning his pants his phone rang once again. Frustrated, Jack sighed heavily and dug into his pocket to see who was calling. Adrianna understood that he needed to see if there was a problem at Loki’s.

  “It’s my sister,” Jack frowned. Sitting up, he adjusted his pants and answered the call.

  Adrianna stayed on her knees at his feet and she saw his face go pale. “Fuck,” Jack gasped and then ran a shaky hand through his hair. Adrianna scrambled from the floor to sit beside him on the bed and took his hand.

  “What happened?” Jack bit out and Adrianna wished she could hear the other end of the conversation. Worried for her boyfriend, she just waited patiently while he spoke to his sister.

  “No...I know, Gillian...Shit...Yeah, I’ll take care of it...Let me figure some things out and I’ll call you back in a bit...Okay....Bye.”

  Jack ended the call and sat staring at the floor. He removed his hand from Adrianna’s and rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing his face.

  “My dad died.”

  “Oh, Jack,” Adrianna cried. She reached a hand out to smooth over his hair, hoping to bring him some comfort. “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

  Without looking at her he answered, “No one had heard from him for over a week so one of his friends went by the house to check on him. He found him on the kitchen floor. He had probably been there a few days.”

  Adrianna choked back the bile that had risen in her throat and blinked back tears. Her heart was breaking for Jack. “That’s horrible,” she whispered. “What can I do?”

  Jack closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. He had known this day would come yet he didn’t feel prepared for it at all. Before his emotions could get the best of him he needed to get away from Adrianna. He didn’t want her to see him fall apart.

  Jack cleared his throat and steeled his nerves. “Nothing,” he stated, rising from the bed and searching for his shirt. “I need to get home, call Kenny, see if he can run the bar for the next few days.”

  Adrianna nodded and watched as he pulled his shirt over his head. She felt useless, not knowing what to do or say. “Do you want me to come back to your apartment with you?”

  “It’s okay, just stay here,” Jack told her. “I’ll call you later.”

  He leaned down and gave Adrianna a quick kiss and then hurried out of her apartment.

  Jack literally felt as if he were having a heart attack. Never in his life had his chest felt so weighted down and he struggled to breathe from it. Cursing himself for not driving his car to Adrianna’s, he flagged down a taxi, needing to get home as quickly as possible. When he finally made it back to his apartment, he went straight to his whiskey, taking three long pulls right from the bottle of Johnnie Walker Black. Inhaling deeply through his nose, he waited for the liquor to take its calming effects.

  Fuck, he had no idea hearing about his father would hit him like this. Even growing up, Jack was never close to Jonathan Senior who was always disappointed in his son for being such a troublemaker at school. Five years ago when he refused Jack’s pleas to get help and they got into a tremendous arg
ument, Jack had sworn he wasn’t going to waste his time with his old man any longer, knowing full well that he was slowly killing himself. He was right, but now instead of feeling relieved like he thought he would all he felt was pain and guilt. He should have pushed more, should have insisted his father get help, maybe even physically dragged him to a doctor. But he didn’t. Instead he cut him out of his life and let him die alone.

  “Fuck!” Jack screamed at the top of his lungs, gripping the edges of his kitchen countertop so tightly his knuckles turned white. He brought his head down, bending at the waist and screamed again at the floor below him until his lungs burned. He pushed himself away from the counter, grabbed the bottle of whiskey and then drank what was left of it before passing out on his sofa.

  Adrianna was wrought with anguish. After hours had gone by the night before and she didn’t hear from Jack she tried calling him, only to reach his voicemail. She spent the night tossing and turning, worrying for him and feeling a little hurt. Jack had taken care of her when she was at her worst and now that he was the one needing, he ran from her. When she woke Saturday morning after only a few hours of sleep, she tried Jack’s phone once again to no avail. After fretting over what to do, she decided to hell with it; she would go to his apartment. She threw on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt and scurried out the door to hail a cab.