by Tammy Knight
“I thought you would love me regardless. I thought you didn’t want to change me,” Jamie began casually, reclining against the side of his truck. Craig sputtered for a moment, tears gathering in his eyes upon having his own words thrown back at him. Of course, he would always love Jamie. There was no one in the world who could ever dream of replacing the alpha. In spite of his shortcomings and flaws, in spite of the broken pieces in his head, Jamie was the only person in the world he could ever love. He couldn’t even begin to fathom his life without the alpha. Which was why he had risked life and limb trying to come and stop him.
“All of that is true, Jamie. I don’t want to change the foundation of who you are, because I know there is the potential for such goodness deep inside you. I also don’t want you to throw your life away just for some chance at infamy. There are other ways of being discovered. Wouldn’t you want to be known as a good father, rather than some deadbeat who blew up the post office just because? For God’s sake, Jim Jam, there are people in there! It’s barely after lunch, even if you were dead set on doing this, you couldn’t have picked a worse time. Come on. Just come home with me. We can talk to my dad together, like you said,” Craig murmured soothingly, reaching out to grab the front of Jamie’s shirt.
“You really worry too much, Craig-y bear. I’m not going to hurt anyone. I just want to prove…I want to prove to both you and myself that there is more to me than the useless scumbag I’ve always managed to be. I just want to prove I’m worthy of your love. I can’t imagine life without you,” Jamie said quietly, reaching out to stroke a hand through Craig’s hair. The omega shuddered, tears spilling down his cheeks when it seemed that the alpha would not be dissuaded.
“Please, Jamie. For me. Whatever you’re thinking of doing…don’t. Just don’t,” Craig tried one final time, tensing his hands on Jamie as the alpha made to draw away.
“Just stand back and watch the show, baby. I’m going to prove to you and everyone in this town that I’m more than anyone gave me credit for,” Jamie called out, grinning widely and turning to walk the distance towards the entrance of the post office. Craig’s voice caught in his throat as he took in the sheer recklessness his lover was exhibiting. He could scarcely believe that Jamie was going through with this whole pathetic scheme to begin with, but to do it in the middle of the day? With crowds of people watching from every corner should something happen? With actual living breathing human beings inside the post office with him? He was actually going to set the place alight from the inside? It was preposterous--hell, it was outright stupid.
“Jamie, please. Don’t do this,” Craig called out one final, desperate time. Jamie paused with his hand on the door handle, hesitating for a moment. Craig took a brief moment to internally celebrate as it seemed he had finally gotten through to the alpha male. Craig edged closer, not wanting to send the alpha skittering away. Jamie remained still as Craig approached him from behind, and the omega rested a hand on his beloved mate’s shoulder. “You know you’re better than this. You’re better than the stupid petty crimes we’ve committed our whole lives. You and I aren’t the terrible two anymore. We’re going to be parents…Dad and Daddy. Come on. I know you want more from life than getting reamed in jail,” Craig smiled, his relief blossoming in his chest as Jamie took a step back and turned to face him. The alpha’s expression was torn between confusion, and most irritatingly, amusement.
“I don’t really know what I’m doing here, Craig. I mean, I have an idea. But this is something I have to do. It’s not just for me, or you, or the terrible two. It’s for our child. It’s for our future. I wish you would just let me show you what I mean,” Jamie said with a smirk. Craig couldn’t begin to fathom how nonchalant the other man could be while having such a serious conversation. He was talking about threatening people’s lives! He was talking about throwing his very own life away. Craig couldn’t understand how on Earth Jamie thought this was for the best for their child. He loved the alpha; God, did he love him but what an idiot he could be.
“You’re not going to come out of this a hero. You’re not going to go down in history as one of the good guys. Why are you intent on doing this? Would it even matter if I told you I couldn’t love a man who would care so little about the future of his child? I know you care more than this, Jamie. You’re a good guy. I know you have so much potential inside of you,” Craig tried once more, trying to force Jamie to look him in the eye. The alpha’s expression darkened briefly, and Craig realized he had hit a sore spot by implying that the alpha didn’t care about their child. He was desperate, though--he couldn’t let Jamie do this.
“Regardless of whether you think I can be a good dad or not, I’m doing this. I’m going to prove myself, even if you don’t believe I can. I’m sorry Craig. If you want to stop me, you’re going to have to drag me away from this place,” Jamie said with an air of finality, turning to push into the post office. The door swung shut in Craig’s face, and the omega could do little but watch fearfully as Jamie meandered through the building. Maybe...Maybe if he were inside, the alpha male would reconsider his plan. Surely, he wouldn’t put his unborn child’s life at risk in a literal sense…surely, he would stop and think that there had to be a better way out.
But what if Jamie was too far gone? What if the alpha was truly as damaged as he seemed to think he was? Would he set the building ablaze and watch with a grim sense of satisfaction as the two of them went up in flames--one last prank by the terrible two, gone terribly wrong? Did Jamie even plan to leave the building once it erupted in flames? Was this his way of saying that he didn’t feel worthy of this world--of a life with Craig and their child? He refused to believe it. Couldn’t believe it. But if there was any chance Jamie wanted to hurt himself, he was going to try and stop it. Inhaling a breath to steady his resolve, Craig pressed his hand against the door handle. He paused, sliding his free hand across the expanse of his stomach and whispering a quiet little prayer. He could only pray he would be safe, Jamie would be safe, and most of all, their baby would come out unscathed. It may have been too much to ask, but Craig had to believe in something.
Steeling himself, he pushed through the door.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Jamie couldn’t deny feeling hurt, but he couldn’t really blame Craig for his words. His plan had been a fool’s notion, but he had something new to follow through with. He could almost hear the screaming thoughts going through the omega’s head as Jamie stepped into the post office, but he couldn’t be bothered to explain himself for the time being--not when it was so obvious that everyone expected so little from him. When he heard the door open behind him, he was browsing the packaging options, only stopping to wait for Craig to step up behind him. Jamie rolled his eyes, focusing his attention on the task at hand. In the back of his mind, he mused over just how flammable everything in the building seemed to be. He also thought it was rather strange that there was someone besides the manager working after the lunch hour. It seemed life was full of surprises in that way. He chuckled, shaking his head and edging past Craig to scope out the other half of the building. The post office workers paid them little mind, and Jamie could only hope Craig didn’t say something stupid to ruin his plot. He could feel the sense of bewilderment resonating from Craig as he stopped at the stationary center. The poor omega worried so much. Jamie felt horrible for constantly being the subject of that very worry, but no matter what he tried, it seemed like it was something that wasn’t going to change any time soon. It was nice to be cared for, but a sense of moderation might have been nice. Craig seemed to go all or nothing when it came to loving someone, and although Jamie knew he carried his own tumultuous feelings, he almost expected better from the more level-headed of their duo.
He noted that Craig remained near the door, skittish and obviously ready to bolt if something happened. He rolled his eyes, deciding to dismiss thoughts of the omega for the time being. He hummed under his breath, flipping through the stacks of expensive and fancy paper for some
thing he preferred the texture of. Jamie knew Craig was only growing more and more tense from his place at the door, but the alpha planned to take his sweet-ass time. He hadn’t made the drive all the way to the county post office for nothing, and he was going to milk the moment for all it was worth. He shifted his attention to the pastel-colored papers, grinning slightly to himself. There was something about the colors that made him revel in the fact that he was a father-to-be. Maybe that meant it was perfect for what he needed. He grabbed several stacks of pastel green stationary, flipping through them once more to see if they were suited for the job. Smiling to himself, a smile that Craig probably thought was something wicked, he strode to the counter where the mail clerk was working. It was a bright-eyed young omega male, looking all too eager to do his job. Jamie almost felt bad for his scheme, seeing the excited workers milling about with bright smiles on their faces.
“Can I help you, sir?” the young man asked politely, and Jamie could feel Craig’s eyes boring into the back of his skull. He placed the stationary on the counter, unable to keep up his cold and calm facade any longer. He leaned over the counter, teeth glinting as he grinned like a madman. The young worker looked a bit taken aback but continued to smile politely.
“I have big news,” Jamie said quietly, tapping his fingernails on the counter. The clerk hummed and nodded as he rang up Jamie’s purchases.
“What kind of big news, sir? That is, if you’re telling anyone,” the young man inquired lightly, and Jamie clapped his hands together in delight.
“I’m going to be a dad! My mate and I are going to need to throw a baby shower, but I’m between jobs so I’m not sure if I’ll have the cash for something this nice when we find out the gender,” Jamie said excitedly, and the clerk looked at him with a big smile.
“Wow. A kid, huh? I wish you all the best, sir. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to start a little collection for the costs of your baby supplies. We see you around here a lot, so I’m sure management wouldn’t mind. You know how generous people can be when it comes to babies,” the young man said excitedly, bagging up the stationary and sliding it across the counter. “And as far as this goes…it’s on me. A little congratulatory gift,” he added with a grin, rummaging in his pockets for a moment before depositing the proper amount of cash into the register.
Jamie stared at him with a vague sense of disbelief, especially considering what his original plan had been. He almost couldn’t believe he would have been so cold as to put someone like this out of work, let alone risk their life. He hadn’t considered the world a particularly friendly place, and he’d never been given a reason to think he was mistaken. The world had always been unkind. No one cared about each other. It was a dog-eat-dog world. Yet, here was a total stranger who looked completely thrilled by an announcement that should have had no effect on his life.
“You know…,” Jamie began, accepting the stationary with a small smile. “I’ve always been kind of a jerk. I thought the world was full of them, y’know. No one’s ever been nice to me for no reason before,” the alpha continued, offering his hand to the mail clerk. The young omega blinked, reaching out to grip Jamie’s hand and give it a firm shake.
“I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Maybe you’ve just been looking in the wrong places. I know the world can be tough, but…there are good people out there. People like you, me…your mate, I’m guessing from the wide-eyed look he’s giving you. In any case, I’m going to set up a little collection jar, and if you will write down your phone number, I will call you when you get any donations,” the clerk began seriously, his voice growing chipper towards the end.
“Maybe you’re right, kid. You have a good day, alright?” Jamie said quietly, turning away from the clerk and striding towards the door where Craig stood, as the clerk had said, looking on with wide eyes. He grabbed his chosen mate by the arm, all but dragging him out the door with the bag of stationary dangling from his hand. He paused just outside the door, turning to face Craig with a troubled expression. “Pastel green is gender neutral, right? I didn’t really know what else to get. Purple still seems a bit feminine to me, but I’m not entirely--” he cut himself short as Craig all but leaped into his arms, burying his face in the alpha’s shoulder.
“I thought… I thought…,” the omega stammered out, tears soaking the fabric of Jamie’s shirt. The alpha rumbled a laugh, brushing a hand through his mate’s hair.
“I know. I didn’t much expect that you would believe me unless you actually saw the real reason I came here. I’m sorry I let you think I cared so little about us and our baby, but I wanted to prove that I’m making steps towards making a better life for us,” he muttered. He held up the bag, making a sheepish face. “Baby steps, but steps just the same,” he chuckled. Craig made a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob, drawing away to look Jamie in the eye.
“We have so much to do…I didn’t even know where to get started-- at least you had some idea,” the omega mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
“I know I’m between jobs right now, but I’m going to start looking right away. No more booze, no more weed. I’m going clean. My apartment isn’t huge, but you can stay with me until we secure something a little nicer…a family home,” Jamie rambled, ceasing his rant when lips pressed against his own. He stiffened for a moment, still not entirely used to the idea that someone like Craig could love him so deeply. However, as he tangled a hand in the omega’s hair, he had no doubt that the love they felt for each other was real. Craig pulled away with a gasp, his mouth agape and hair frazzled. “What’s wrong?” Jamie asked urgently, beginning to panic slightly.
“Christ. We still have to talk to my dad. What am I going to say to him? How am I going to explain that I got knocked up by my best friend?” Craig whimpered, burying his face in his hands.
“Like I said, we’re going to do it together. If anything, he’ll be so busy kicking my ass he’ll completely forget about slapping you across the jaw. Come on, baby. It’s you and me from here on out. No one is gonna come between us, not even your dad. After all, we have our whole lives ahead of us--a brand-new life together with our child. He’s so bitter that he won’t even get to meet his grandchild if he keeps it up,” Jamie murmured, kissing the top of Craig’s head.
“He’s the only family I have, Jamie. I don’t have anyone else. If we falter, and things get screwed up, neither of us will have anyone to turn to,” Craig continued, his voice morose. Jamie pulled back a bit, quirking a brow down at the chubby omega.
“I thought it was my job to be the depressing one,” he pointed out, receiving an obviously forced laugh for his efforts. “Listen, babe. I know you’re scared, because I am too. Things could definitely go wrong, hell, they most likely will in some way or another,” Jamie paused, catching the sour look Craig was turning upon him. “I know that doesn’t sound very reassuring, but I have faith that we’ve been brought to this point by destiny. Everything happens for a reason, and if it weren’t for this baby, we may have never admitted our feelings for each other. So yeah, things might go a bit wrong, but in the end it’ll all be worth it. It has to be,” Jamie finished, sounding more and more sure of himself as he continued. Craig managed a watery smile, reaching up to cup Jamie’s cheeks in his hands. Jamie reddened at the affectionate gesture, leaning in to peck the omega on the lips.
“All it takes to change your outlook on the world is for a nice post office boy to offer you some free stationary? What does that make me?” Craig teased gently, sticking his tongue out as Jamie rolled his eyes. “You’re right, though. You usually are the depressing one, but I like this change. I always told you I didn’t want to change the roots of your personality. I just… I’ve always wanted so badly for you to be happy; to see the good in the world. It is a bit disconcerting that you got your breakthrough from another omega… a rather cute one as well… should I be worried?” Craig continued, his tone taking a complete three hundred sixty-degree turn. Jamie’s eyes widened as tears brimmed at the corners of Cr
aig’s eyes, swooping forward to grab his chosen mate in his arms. He held him bridal style, the bag of stationary dangling from his wrist as he carried Craig to their cars.
“I’m assuming this is the pregnancy hormones. You know you’re the only one for me, Craig. The only reason I was able to see the light is because you opened my eyes to it. It wasn’t the free stationary…it was accepting what you’ve always tried to tell me: that the world isn’t out to get me. You’re my everything,” Jamie asserted, gently placing Craig on his feet even as the omega made an effort to cling to him.
“I know. God, I know you would never look at another omega. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. If this is what it’s going to be like the whole time, I don’t know if I can take it,” the omega grumbled.
“For what it’s worth, Craig…you’re kinda cute when you’re jealous. Not crying jealous, of course, but…,” Jamie trailed off at the glare the omega fixed upon him, smiling teasingly. “Come on. Get in your car. I’ll follow you to your dad’s place, and we can start packing your things in my truck. When I said I was ready to start taking steps forward, I didn’t mean later. I mean now. I’m going to make sure you never have to run away from your home, especially when that home is with me,” the alpha asserted, opening the car door for Craig and watching as the omega settled into the driver’s seat.
