A Christmas to Remember

by Carol Matas

  Sally’s streetwise cousin Benny has complicated her life before, nudging her out of the comfort of her close-knit Jewish neighbourhood. And he’s about to complicate things again when he takes her younger sisters to the Santa Claus Parade and Hindl starts yearning for a Shirley Temple doll. How will a poor family, living through the Depression and struggling to make ends meet, ever afford that?

  Shirley Goodness

  November 10, 1934

  Benny spent the whole afternoon being annoying. After he made a dumb joke about how skinny I am and I couldn’t stop myself from blushing, he said my face looked like a beet. If he wasn’t my cousin I’d never speak to him at all.

  But he isn’t all bad, I guess, because he offered to take Molly and Hindl to the Santa Claus Parade next week. Of course it’s his fault they want to go. He’s the one who turned on the radio even though it was Shabbes today. Pa would have yelled at Benny if he’d seen him do it. The radio was tuned to CFRB and that program about Santa Claus’s adventures on his way to Toronto from the North Pole was on, and Molly and Hindl were sitting there at the kitchen table colouring in the advertisements in some old newspapers, and they got really excited about the Parade. So Benny said, let’s take them, and I agreed.

  Now I’m wondering if it’s really a good idea. Sure, Hindl and Molly know that Santa doesn’t bring presents to little Jewish girls like them. But they’re just six and eight, after all. Won’t it make them feel bad if they see Santa and know he won’t be coming down our chimney on Christmas Eve?

  November 14

  This morning Sophie sent me upstairs to get her purse before she left for work. Just because she’s the oldest she thinks she can boss everybody. Molly and Hindl were on the stairs, pretending to be Jack Frost and Eaton Beauty feeding hurryberries to Santa’s reindeer, like they heard on the radio on Shabbes. They knew all the reindeers’ names, too. They are so, so excited about the Parade, they hardly talk about anything else. It can’t be a good thing, but I guess we’re going to have to take them like we promised.

  November 17

  I guess I’m glad we went to the Parade, because it really was so much fun! We left early enough to get a good spot on University near College, right by the curb. While we waited for the Parade to come by, the girls pretended to be Eaton Beauty and Jack Frost again, and Benny helped them out by pretending to be a reindeer. He made such a loud beepy kind of noise that everyone in the crowd stared at us and I started to blush again. But then we heard a band playing “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and everyone started to sing along as the band marched by us — even me. Of course I shouldn’t even know the words — it really isn’t very Jewish of me. But I learned them from one of the ladies at St. Chris and I just couldn’t stop myself.

  Then the floats started to come by. My favourite was Father Neptune’s Court, with dancing fish and lobsters and Popeye the Sailor Man from the funny papers on his own rocking ship. Molly laughed and laughed at the snails and the frog symphony in the Sunny Meadow Court, and Hindl was in heaven when she saw Cinderella and her coachmen. Hindl loves the story of Cinderella — she calls herself Cinderhindl when Ma makes her dust the parlour every week before Shabbes. Benny said the best thing was the drum majorettes showing off their legs, but I know he just said it to make me mad.

  After Santa and his reindeer went by and the crowd cheered and the Parade was over, Benny said it wouldn’t take us very long to walk over to the big Eaton’s downtown and look at the toys in Toyland. Sometimes I think he has no brains at all. The last thing poor Jewish girls like Molly and Hindl need is to go look at a whole bunch of expensive Christmas toys they can’t ever have.

  But once Benny said it, there was no way to stop it. The girls begged and pleaded and finally I had to give in.

  We stopped outside Eaton’s to look at the Christmas windows with all the toys and lights in them, and then we went inside and headed up the escalator to Toyland on the fifth floor. The store was full of kids and parents, but we pushed through the crowd and made it to the doll section.

  After listening to the girls pretending to be Jack Frost and Eaton Beauty all week, I thought they’d be most interested in the Eaton Beauty dolls. They are really, really adorable this year, with shoes and socks you put on and take off, and cute lacy slips, and eyes that really open and close. But when Hindl saw the Shirley Temple dolls, she just stood there and stared and stared at them. I don’t know why. She’s almost the same age as the real Shirley Temple, but I don’t think she even knows who Shirley Temple is. Hindl sure hasn’t ever seen her in one of her movies, what with Pa out of work again and money being so short.

  Hindl wanted to pick up a Shirley Temple and hold it. I would have let her, but there was a snooty store lady staring at us the whole time.

  When Molly asked Hindl if she wanted a Shirley Temple, Hindl stared at the dolls a bit more and then said, “No, of course not, don’t be silly, Molly. I already have a doll.” She means my old doll. I’m glad I decided to give Matilda to Hindl last year so at least she has a doll, even if Matilda has a hole in one cheek and little cracks all over. And of course she never was anywhere near as cute as Shirley Temple. I knew we should never have gone to Toyland.

  November 20

  On my way to the toilet room I passed Molly and Hindl’s room and Hindl was there by herself on the bed, making Matilda dance on the bedspread while she sang her a song I’d never heard before. It was something like this:

  I like what you like, beans and oyster stew,

  And I like what you like, on account’a I love you.

  It was really cute. I asked Hindl what the song was, and she blushed and said it was a Shirley Temple song and Shirley sings it in a movie. She knows because her friend Ruthie at school told her all about it. Ruthie’s parents took her to see that movie and Ruthie liked it so much that she made them stay and watch it two more times. She learned the words of the song and taught it to all the other Junior One girls and now they’re all pretending to be Shirley Temple every day in the playground.

  I guess that’s why Hindl loved those Shirley Temple dolls so much. I wish there was some way I could get her one.

  November 22

  While we were doing the supper dishes Hindl asked why Santa Claus never brought us any Christmas presents. Molly told her it’s because Jews don’t believe in Santa Claus. Hindl said she knows that, of course, but then she got quiet and frowny and I could tell she wasn’t happy about it. I reminded her that we have Hanukkah instead and it’s only a couple of weeks away and that if she was lucky she might get some Hanukkah gelt. Hindl said she knows that, too, but it isn’t the same. Then she made me lean down and she whispered into my ear. She said she bet that if you were a Jewish girl and you wanted something really bad and you wished for it really hard, Santa might feel sorry for you and bring it to you anyway. She was thinking about those Shirley Temple dolls, I just know she was.

  Double darn that Benny and his stupid Santa Claus Parade.

  November 25

  While Hindl was in the toilet room, Molly rushed down to my room and said she had to tell me something, but it had to be a secret. So I crossed my heart and hoped to die and promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, and Molly said that she knows that Hindl really, really wants a Shirley Temple doll. I told her that wasn’t a secret because I knew it already. But then Molly told me that she wants Hindl to have a Shirley Temple doll, too. Molly is a good sister, and she’s right. Hindl is such a sweetheart. She deserves one of those dolls.

  If I told Ma about it, and Ma told Pa, maybe they could find a way to buy it for her.

  Oh, who am I kidding? Even doing odd jobs, Pa hardly makes enough to feed us, let alone buy an expensive doll. And anyway, if Pa knew Molly was expecting Santa to bring it, he’d have a conniption. There’s no way I can tell them about it.

  November 27

  I talked to Sophie about Hindl and the doll. I know Sophie doesn’t give Pa all the money she makes at Uncle Bertzik’s factory because she has at
least three different kinds of lipstick now. And she’s the one who eats bacon, after all, so I thought she’d understand. Boy, was I wrong. She gave me a huge lecture about silly superstitions and how Christmas is so commercial nowadays and how she was glad we were Jewish so we wouldn’t have to waste our hard-earned gelt on all that silly nonsense. What a killjoy.

  But Sophie did have a suggestion. She said that if I cared so much about it, why didn’t I just earn some money and buy Shirley Temple for Hindl myself? Oh sure. All I have to do is figure out how to earn $5.50 — that’s what the smallest Shirley Temple costs. $5.50! That’s about four times more than an Eaton Beauty, and Eaton Beauties aren’t cheap either. Sophie is meshugge.

  November 29

  Dora came home from work today carrying a big package, and she said it was for me because Sophie told her about Hindl and the doll. I got all excited and ripped it open, and what do you think it was? Not a Shirley Temple doll, that’s for sure. It was just a big stack of men’s overalls, the kind farmers wear, and the buckles to attach to them. Dora said she talked Mr. Tulchinsky into letting her bring them home to sew on the buckles as piecework, 5¢ a piece. She would take some and I could do the rest and we could earn the money for the doll. Dora is a sweetheart.

  November 30

  I wish I wasn’t such a klutz at sewing. We got up early this morning and started on the overalls before Dora went to work and I went to school, but I only did two pairs while Dora did four, and then Dora said my stitches were too messy and we’d have to rip them out and do them over. I ripped the stitches out and tried again, and they were almost as bad as the first time, and Dora said never mind, she’d do them herself.

  I feel rotten. Dora spends all day at work sewing. I can’t let her fill up her spare time doing all those buckles. Ma would help her if I asked, but Ma is already run off her feet. Darn sewing anyway.

  December 1

  It was the first night of Hanukkah tonight. There wasn’t any Hanukkah gelt again this year.

  When Pa lit the first candle and said the prayer about how the Lord made miracles for our ancestors, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the overalls and Shirley Temple. I need a miracle myself right now.

  December 4

  Gert and Chaim came over for dinner last night. Ma invited them because Auntie Rayzel gave her an extra chicken she had that needed to be cooked right away. Gert and Chaim are hardly ever here now that they have their own apartment, so I guess I was happy to see them. Gert hasn’t pinched me even once since she married Chaim and moved out. After dinner Gert let us take the baby up to my room and Molly and Hindl and I took turns holding her. I love Barbara even if her mother is as annoying as her father. Chaim is such a schmendrick.

  When Gert came up to get Barbie, she saw the pile of overalls on the dresser and asked what they were, so I had to send Molly and Hindl away and then tell Gert about the Shirley Temple doll. When Gert heard about the sewing she said, “You? Sewing!” and she started laughing like crazy. What a way for a married woman with a baby to behave!

  But after she finally stopped laughing, she said she thought she might have a deal for me. And she did, too! She said she’d do the buckles if I would babysit Barbie for her. Gert is even better at sewing than she is at pinching. I agreed right away!

  December 13

  Gert had to take Barbara to tea at Chaim’s Auntie Becky’s house this afternoon, so it’s the first chance I’ve had to write anything all week. I’ve been at Gert’s after school every day.

  Looking after Barbie is fun most of the time, except when I have to change her diapers. When I brought Gert the overalls, she took them into her bedroom and I haven’t seen them since. I hope she’s working on them, but I don’t know when — she spends all day looking after Barbie, and whenever I’m there she sits around looking at magazines or kibitzing with her friend Ida about movie stars. I guess I just have to trust her. I don’t want to disappoint Hindl. Or Molly either.

  December 15

  Benny came over with a photograph of Shirley Temple for Hindl. He read in the Star that Eaton’s was giving them away in Toyland, so he went after work and got one for her. Her eyes lit up when she saw it.

  December 16

  Boy, am I tired! I spent all day looking after Barbie. I must have changed her diaper about twenty times. After Chaim went over to Altman’s with his loudmouth friends, Gert said she was going to their room to work on the overalls, and she went in there and closed the door and I didn’t see her or hear her for about two hours. I bet she was having a nap, not sewing at all.

  December 19

  I’ve asked and asked, but Gert won’t let me see those overalls. I know she’s been working on at least one pair, because when I went over there today she was sitting at the kitchen table with it and she made some comment about me not trusting her and I should be more grateful. But then Ida came over again, and by the time I left two hours later, Gert still hadn’t finished sewing the first buckle on.

  December 20

  Still no sign of the overalls — I tried to sneak into Gert and Chaim’s room while Gert was in the toilet room, just to get a look at them, but she came out too soon and nearly caught me.

  When I got back home, Molly and Hindl were already ready for bed. When I went up to say good night to them, Hindl was holding Benny’s Shirley Temple photograph like it was a baby she was cuddling, and singing to it about oysters and bean stew. And while Hindl was singing, Molly gave me such a look!

  I’m getting that doll for Hindl even if I have to change two million diapers.

  December 22

  It’s a disaster, a complete disaster! I knew I never should have trusted Gert. I went to pick up the overalls today so Dora could take them back to the factory and get the money, and Gert only had five pairs done! Five! She didn’t even apologize, just complained about all the work she had to do with a young baby and all and what did I think she was, my slave? I could tell she felt bad about it though — Gert always yells at people when she’s sorry about something.

  Anyway, now Dora has to listen to Mr. Tulchinsky get mad at her because the overalls aren’t done, and there’s nowhere near enough money for Hindl’s Shirley Temple, and Molly is going to be so upset, too. Even if she is sorry and even if she is my sister, Gert is a lazy @#$%#.

  December 23

  I spent all day moping around the house. Benny came over but all I could do was kvetch to him about the doll and Gert and the overalls and he said, “Enough complaining, already,” and he left. So I went up to my room and closed the door and lay on my bed and felt sorry for myself.

  But then Hindl came in and said I shouldn’t be so unhappy and I could have Matilda to hold if I wanted, because Matilda always makes her feel better. She was right, too. Holding Matilda did make me feel better, even if I am fourteen and I would die if anyone found out. Especially Benny. Or Gert.

  But then Hindl lay beside me and Matilda and cuddled her Shirley Temple photograph and talked about how Christmas was just two days away now and Santa must be packing up his sleigh. That made me feel even mopier than before.

  December 24

  What a day!

  Before she left this morning, Dora told me I had to come and meet her at the factory after work. I was too mopey to go anywhere, but she begged and begged until I finally said I would. When I got there, she told me Mr. Tulchinsky was mad about the overalls, but she’s used to that because he’s always mad about everything. He gave her 40¢ for the finished ones, and she wanted to take me over to College Street and see what we could get for it. She said 40¢ is better than nothing, isn’t it? And Hindl was expecting a present, so finally I said I’d go.

  After looking in five different stores, we found a book of Shirley Temple paper dolls with four Shirley Temples in different kinds of undies and a whole bunch of outfits to cut out. It wasn’t a real doll, but Dora said at least it was Shirley Temple, so I let her buy it even though it just made me mopier. Then Dora said we had just enough left o
ver to buy some Christmas candy for Molly, so she wouldn’t feel left out. It was nice of Dora, of course, but I thought it would just make the girls sad.

  Boy, was I wrong! When we got home, Molly and Hindl were in the kitchen. Hindl squealed when she saw the paper dolls and hugged us and said they were lovely and they were just what she wanted. And Molly gave me a big hug, too, and whispered thank you. Hindl didn’t seem to care that it wasn’t a real doll, but I think maybe it’s because she’s still counting on Santa.

  Anyway, then Molly ran out of the kitchen and up to their room and came back with another paper doll for Hindl. She made it herself from a picture of Shirley Temple she cut out of an old newspaper and pasted on cardboard, and she drew the clothes for it all by herself!

  When she gave it to Hindl she said “Merry Christmas,” and Hindl said “Merry Christmas” right back. It’s a good thing that Pa and Ma were over to Tanta Lena’s and couldn’t hear them.

  Then Benny strolled in with a big box and gave it to Hindl and said “Merry Christmas” too. It was a real doll this time! Not a Shirley Temple doll, but a nice little doll anyway, even if its dress was a little stained. And Benny had made it a sash like beauty queens wear that said Shirley Temple on it in crayon. Afterwards, Benny told me his Ma found the doll in a second-hand store on Lippincott, and he got her to give it to him for Hindl and made the sash himself so that maybe I wouldn’t kvetch so much.

  And as if that wasn’t enough, Sophie came home from work with a package for Hindl too! It was a book called The Story of Shirley Temple — imagine a little girl like that having a whole book about her! It wasn’t a doll, and Hindl can hardly read yet, but Molly said she would help her. Hindl thanked Sophie, but she didn’t say Merry Christmas. I guess Sophie is okay after all.