Igniting the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  I glance over at Eden and smile. “I just pray she gets better.”

  “Me, too, honey.” She sighs and looks at her daughter. “Me, too.”

  I follow Rod’s truck about five miles to his dad’s dark red, brick house. It’s even bigger than Julie’s. I should’ve been a doctor.

  After showing me to the guest room where I put my suitcase, Rod asks, “Do you want to take a walk?”

  I regard him doubtfully as he sets my suitcase down onto the bench at the end of the bed. “You take walks?”

  He puts his hands on his hips and sneers, “No, I float like a damn ghost.”

  I roll my eyes and rifle through my purse to make sure I brought my phone in. “I meant, I didn’t think you took walks.”

  “I don’t, but you’re here. We can walk to the park and get high.”

  Dropping my purse onto the bed, I spin around. “What?”

  He snorts. “I’m kidding. We can take some water guns and shoot at small children. Aim at their pants so they’ll get in trouble for pissing themselves.”

  Laughing, I wheeze, “You’re seriously twisted. Maybe you are high.”

  He shrugs and throws his arms up. “It’s good, clean fun! Come on, Hadders.” He slings his arm around my shoulders and pulls me toward the basement’s sliding glass door.

  When we reach the park around the block from his dad’s, Rod leads me to the swings. We take our swings and he loudly yells, “Let’s be swingers, bitch!” The two teen girls on the other side of the playground, sitting on a see-saw talking, look over and laugh.

  I cringe and say more quietly, “I think you might be better at it than me. I hear you’re a swinging slut.”

  He whirls around to face me, twisting the chains together. “Me? No way. I’m a good boy.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  “I am! I hear you’re the one who doesn’t get down and dirty with a certain Richmond hotshot.”

  I spit out, “I tried!” I cover my mouth and close my eyes. Shit! Why did I say that? I really do need duct tape for my mouth.

  When I don’t hear a snarky response, I crack an eye open to see his mouth gaping in utter surprise. “No way! No, you didn’t!”

  I fist my hands over my eyes and hang my head. “I don’t know why I just told you that.”

  “I don’t know why you did, either. Holy fuck.”

  After a moment of awkward silence between us, I sigh and sit up, gazing at the surrounding woods, looking for sniper to take me out. I lowly repeat, “I can’t believe I told you that.”

  Rod is quiet for five seconds until he nonchalantly says, “Yeah. So, you sucked on Wilder’s c—”

  Whipping my head to him, I rashly yelp, “Rod! Shut up!”I turn away from him to stare hard at the trees around us, searching for courage to be a grown-up, or a noose to hang one of us.

  He giggles and says, “I mean, I know where he usually puts it, but you actually went oral with him after your confessional at the club?”

  I close my eyes to the trees and grudgingly nod. Holding onto the swing’s chains, I lower my head and mumble, “Oh, dear God. I have such a big mouth.”

  “That’s what she said! Ha!” Rod giggles and I look up to narrow my eyes at him, trying not to laugh in spite of his evident psychosis. “FYI, Hadders: A big mouth is a very good thing to have for that.”

  I smirk at my chance. “Do you get complimented for yours?”

  With a sudden scowl, he grumbles, “Shut the hell up.” I laugh and he twists to give my swing a shove with his foot, sending me sideways and laughing even harder.

  When my giggles subside with the momentum of my swing, I whisper, “I didn’t get very far with it.”

  “Why? Is Wilder smaller than a cocktail wiener?” He gives me an exagerated fake pout and I want to seriously punch him for making me laugh again.

  “That’s not what I meant, douchebag. We were at his mom’s and his sister knocked on the door. It kind of killed the mood.”

  “Yeah, I could see how that would deflate a boner.” I nod as he shakes his head and says, “Wow. I can’t believe you blew Finn Wilder.”

  I snort. “I technically didn’t, and you make it sound like he’s some big celebrity. He’s my boyfriend, Rod. You said I was a freak because I had never tried doing it before.”

  “You’re not a freak. I was only joking. I hope you didn’t feel pressured to do it because of my teasing.”

  “No, I’ve wanted to try it with him, but…” I shrug my shoulders and look away from him, unsure of how to finish that sentence.

  “Don’t think you’re doing anything wrong with him. You’re a great person and I know he thinks you’re the best girlfriend.”

  “I don’t know about that. I seem to let my friends and him down.” I can’t keep up with everyone’s expectations.

  “Hadders, you’re a great friend.” He inhales and scuffs the ground with his sharp-looking high tops and mumbles, “You’re my best friend.”

  Lifting my head, I stare at him in astonishment as he stares at the ground. “R-Rod, that’s so nice to say. It’s not a big deal I came down here.”

  He noddingly looks up at me. “Yes it is. That’s not why I’m saying you are. You make me laugh at and with you. You give good advice and are such a good listener.” He runs his tongue between his teeth. “And I also hear you give unbelievable head.” He twirls his swing around, twisting the chains together while mischieveously grinning. “It’s Finntastic!”

  “I’m going to punch you in the face.” He giggles and I ask, “How many women have sampled your Rodsicle?”

  Rod stops his twisting as he throws his head back and disbelieving laughs. “I can’t believe you just referred to my penis as that.”

  “I did. Answer the question. It’s only fair.”

  “Too many to count.” He unwinds his swing and spins around in a dizzying move that makes me lightheaded to watch.

  “I thought you said you weren’t a whore?”

  “What? That’s not whorish is it?”

  I raise a judgemental eyebrow. “Yeah, it is.”

  “Oops.” He laughs at my horrified expression, which leads to him inevitably snorting. “Damn, you’re so easy.”

  Taking my own opportunity to be a smartass, I snap my fingers and quip, “That’s what he said!”

  He sadly shakes his head, mocking me, no doubt. “That’s not even funny, Hadders.”

  “So, you’re not going to tell me?”

  Sighing, he looks down to his shoes and mutters, “Two. That’s how many.”

  “Fair enough.”

  He immediately looks up. “My turn. What’s your grand total of guys you humped?”

  “So eloquent. How’d we get into this conversation anyway?”

  “It was all you. I was gonna to talk ‘bout puppies and kittens.”

  “Oh, right. It was me. Four. Three were brief and stupid mistakes.”

  “Is Wilder one of them?”

  I frown at his smirk. “Shut up!”

  “Just was wondering if you considered him one of those lapses in judgment or if you’re regretting his small wee-wee.”

  I regard him questioningly, yet manage to say with a straight face, “You’re obsessed with what’s in his boxers.”

  “Like I said, he’s a quasi-celeb.”

  “He will be a full-blown one someday.”

  “Well, with you, he’ll never be fully blown.”

  “Gregory!”

  “Just kiddin’!” He laughs and stomps on the ground at his own ridiculousness. He then asks, “You really think he’ll be a celebrity?”

  I nod and pump my legs to get swinging. “Yep. I truly believe he’ll be a big TV personality on a sports show. He was born to be a star. I’m just afraid he’ll leave me then.” I slow my legs as I think about that happening. Would Finn leave me for fame?

  “He’d never leave his Becks.” I smile and he says, “Anyway, who knows. He could be famous.” Rod stops his swing, su
ddenly grinning like a murderous clown. “So, he wears boxers? Nice.”

  “He mixes it up. Now you.”

  “Tightie whities.”

  I purse my lips. “No. I meant your tally, but thanks for that mental picture.”

  He hangs onto the chains and leans back, kicking his legs up. “Aw, yeah. You love thinking of me in my skivvies.”

  I scoff, “Right.”

  “Do you have any pictures of Wilder in his unmentionables? I can use them to blackmail him.”

  “No, and why would I give them to you to do that?”

  “Because you love me.”

  “Sure. Now answer the question you’ve been trying to avoid.”

  Rod angles his head back to peer up at the sky. “Same as above.”

  “Above what?” I look up at the sky with him. What am I missing?

  “As my first answer.”

  I lower my head. “Two?” He nods up at the sky and I say, “Oh. That’s cool.” It’s actually nice to hear.

  “That’s fucking lame. I should be embarrassed to even have a dick.”

  “Wow, Rod. That’s a little much.”

  He blows a heavy sigh into the air. “It’s the truth.”

  “Were you in love with either one?”

  He fleetingly glances at me as he lowers his head. “Yeah, the first girl. She broke up with me and moved away. I haven’t heard from her since.”

  “Is that the only time you’ve ever been in love?”

  Rod glances to the road. “No. One other time, but it was unrequited. She had a boyfriend.”

  “Oh. Sorry to hear that.”

  Watching a car drive past the park, he quietly says, “I’ve moved past it. He was there first and I couldn’t compete. She’s happy. We’re still friends.”

  “That’s good. You’ll find your true love someday.”

  “Maybe.” He looks back at me and arches an eyebrow. “Are you sure Wilder’s the one?”

  Even though I’m so mad at him and hurt by his revelations, I don’t even hestitate when I nod. “Yes, he is. I knew it from our first kiss.”

  “Which lips did he kiss?”

  I scowl at his grin. “Perv.”

  “Just asking. Where were his hands?”

  “I’d say my cheeks, but you’d take that the wrong way.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  I kick at the dirt and worn grass beneath my feet. “I hope he’s the one for me,” I elaborate on my earlier answer.

  “Do you think he’s not?”

  “I do, but I feel like I’m not good enough for him or he’d rather have someone else.”

  “He wants you, Hadley. Trust me.”

  The unexpected serious tone he uses brings my head up. “Why? How do you know for sure?”

  He looks out at the park in front of us. “Because he does.”

  “Rod, you know something.”

  “Let’s just say I had a chat with him recently.”

  “When?”

  “In church, setting up for the shower.”

  “What happened? You two didn’t argue, did you?”

  He blinks and turns to look at me. “Somewhat. He’s fucking jealous again.”

  “Of who?”

  “Me. Any guy that looks at you. He flat out asked me if I’m in love with you.”

  My eyes widen. “He asked you that?” Finn Wilder, what’s wrong with you?

  “Yeah. I told him no, but I also reminded him that we’re friends and I’ll do whatever I can to see you’re happy. He didn’t really like that answer. He said I seem more ‘touchy feely’ with you lately.”

  “I wonder if Cara is telling him shit. The way she asked me if you and I were dating was suspicious, not curious.”

  “I don’t trust that fucking bitch. She made a comment to me, too, when you weren’t there. Wilder was off talking to Val. Cara came over to me and asked if I had a crush on you. She probably saw from the look on my face I didn’t appreciate her asking me that. I told her you and I are just friends, but she seemed to take that as a yes. That chick is creepier than a box of rag plugs in a church.”

  “Oh, she wants Finn. Ricky said so.”

  He leans toward me, pulling his swing with him. “He did?”

  “Yep. I overhead him telling Finn. I also overhead Finn telling Ricky about our sex life.”

  Rod’s twangy voice gains an edge. “Was he making fun of you?”

  “No. Just talking to him about how I’ve been acting. It was mortifying. I wanted to die, Greg.”

  Confusion colors his face. “How have you been acting? I haven’t noticed a change.”

  “Well, Finn has and he was talking about it. He said he didn’t tell Ricky everything about our personal life. I guess he lied.”

  Rod sheepishly smiles. “Well, you’re kind of telling me personal things about him. He has to be able to do the same thing with his friend. It’s only fair.”

  I reluctantly nod. “I know you’re right. I’m just really embarrassed.” I sigh before blurting out, “I’ve wanted sex with Finn more.”

  Rod’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. “Wow.”

  Too late to stop my confessions, I say, “That’s not all. I told you about our fight about the Pill on Easter.” He nods as he waits for me to go on. “Ever since Easter weekend, he’s been having sex with me without a condom.”

  “Really?”

  “It just started happening and neither one of us put an actual stop to it, but then we argued Easter night when I refused to go on the Pill for him. After I got hurt,” Rod winces and glances away from me. I say, “It’s okay. Anyhow, that night he stayed with me and… Well, we didn’t use anything again.”

  Rod grins. “I knew you two got it on after the ER. That place is like an aphrodisiac for you and Wilder.”

  “This is the first time we’ve been to the ER since we met.” Perplexed, I frown and say, “I don’t understand it. After everything we fought about, he still wants to have sex without protection. I’ve tried offering him a condom or telling him I need to put my birth control in, but he doesn’t wait long enough. He must really think he’s bulletproof . He loves the rush so much.”

  Rod tolerantly smiles at me like I’m a kindergartener who can’t get the hang of holding a pair of blunt-tipped scissors for the fifth time. He torpidly says, “Hadders, Wilder wants to knock you up.”

  I shake my head as I watch a fat robin bob along the grass. “No. There’s no way. You and I talked about this after his race. Besides, I asked him why he’s been doing that and he said he sometimes doesn’t care about the possibility. That’s what it’s all about. The risk the risk-taker risks taking on.”

  Rod blows air between his teeth in a scoff. “Wilder’s full of shit. No sane guy who doesn’t want a baby will ditch a jizz lid, no matter how much they hate ‘em. It’s a fact.”

  I snort. “A what?”

  He incredulously tilts his head. “Really, Hadders?”

  I roll my eyes. “I got it.”

  “Maybe he changed his mind and ain’t telling you. I’ve said it before. Wilder’s not stupid. He’s trying to get you pregnant. That’s definite.”

  I laugh in disbelief. “But why would he suddenly change his mind about something of that magnitude and not tell me?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know why he hasn’t told you. That one is a mystery.”

  “What isn’t a stretch is that he’s been jumping again. He and Ricky were talking about him doing it under the radar.”

  Rod’s mouth falls open. “Has he jumped New River again?”

  “I don’t think so. He reports from the bridge every year on Bridge Day, but he always tells people who ask if he’s going to jump that he’s not doing it anymore. I’m pretty sure they’d film him doing it, too, and there’s no way I would miss that broadcast. That bridge represents so much in our relationship. If he’s jumped off it without telling me, I think I’d push him from it without a second thought.”

  “What does Mort
icia say about all this?”

  “I haven’t told her.”

  “Why?”

  I take a deep breath. “Because as much as I love her, she’ll tell me to ditch him. That’s her answer for all his shortcomings. Break up with him and don’t look back.”

  “Why are you telling me all of this?”

  Glancing at Rod on the swing next to me, I shrug as a smile edges onto my lips. “I don’t know. Maybe because I’m hoping you’ll accept me for being crazy, as is.”

  “You’re not crazy. You love him. I know that. And I’m positive he loves you more than leaping from tall shit.” He smiles at me in return. “You can tell me anything, Hadley. I only tease you, but I would never do it to be mean and hurt you.”

  I roll my eyes. “Except for making fun of my height.”

  “Yeah, except that. You’re cute like a little bunny rabbit with a gimp leg.”

  I loudly laugh with a snort. “What the hell?”

  He giggles. “Don’t tell me that ain’t damn cute shit right there.”

  When we get back from the park, I take a shower and sit on the white bedspread covering the queen-size bed in the guest room. I try calling Finn, but there’s no answer, so I leave a voicemail telling him where I am since I don’t know when he’ll get home.

  What’s he doing right now? Is he truly on a work trip or is he tripping off ledges again? I don’t want to get a call from Ricky telling me one of those falls didn’t go as planned.

  Exhausted, I say a prayer for Eden, and her family. Before falling into a fast sleep, I also say one for Sparks and his safe return. So I can kill him myself.

  CHAPTER 15

  I awake to an earthquake. “Hadders, get up. My phone is going ballistic.”

  My eyes fly open as the room bounces and sways, making me seasick. I whisk my head over my shoulder to a springing jerk bobbing behind me on the bed. Rod stops bouncing as he looks down at his phone and says, “I left it in the kitchen last night, so I didn’t hear it. How many calls did you get?”

  I sit up and rub my eyes, forgetting that Rod is seeing me in all my horrifying morning glory. “What are you talking about?” I grouchily ask, not making any effort to pick up my phone.