Igniting the Wild Sparks

by Alexander, Ren

  The technician slowly removes the wand and I weepily moan from the pain. She says, “I’ll be right back.”

  Pulling my knees together, I rub my tear-filled eyes and take more deep breaths.

  Rod asks to the curtain, “Are you okay?”

  “You can look, but try to keep your eyes up here.”

  He moves and immediately looks up to my face, cringing. “That had to suck.”

  “Yeah, it did.”

  “Probably felt much different than when your baby was conceived. Right? I bet that thing puts Wilder’s cocktail wiener to shame.” Recalling what I said to Finn when I was drunk, I bitterly giggle through my tears.

  “Shut up. Didn’t I already say I hated you?”

  He laughs. “I think so, but I get that a lot.”

  The technician pushes the curtain aside, bringing the ER doctor with her. He sits at the machine and she points to the screen, lowly saying things that I don’t understand. He clicks through the shots and studies them. I’m nervous.

  After several harrowing minutes, he slowly swivels his chair and sighs. “The egg sac and placenta aren’t located in the uterus. They’re attached to your right fallopian tube.”

  I try to digest that bit of information, but my mind is already on overload. “What’s that mean?”

  “It means you need to have a laparoscopy to remove it.”

  I slowly ask, “Remove it?” Rod’s hand firmly clasps mine as my heart and stomach abruptly slam into me. “You mean remove my baby?”

  He cautiously nods. “Yes.”

  I look to a somber Greg Rodwell and then back to the doctor. “No!”

  “It’s not a viable pregnancy.”

  I urgently counter, “Does my baby have a heartbeat?”

  The doctor glances to the screen and then offers me a regretful smile. “Yes.”

  “Then, no! My baby’s alive! You can’t take her from me!” I already lost her father.

  He says, “There’s no way to transplant an ectopic pregnancy to the uterus. I’m sorry.”

  I screech and hold my stomach protectively. “No! I can’t kill my baby!”

  “You have to have surgery. Your fallopian tube is about to rupture. That’s why you’re experiencing so much pain, and if it does rupture, it can be fatal to you from the internal bleeding. Aside from hemorrhaging, it also can irreversibly damage your tube; therefore, your chances of conceiving again will be greatly diminished.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and adds, “I’m going to call to have the OR prepped and we’ll get this underway before it bursts. Again, I’m very sorry.” He stands, and he and the technician leave the room as I wail.

  Rod lurches up from his chair and I release his hand to grab his arm, pulling him down, and hugging him to me as I sob, “My baby! Finn’s baby! She’s alive and they’re going to kill her!” I cry into Rod’s white dress shirt, not meaning to make it all wet, but he doesn’t complain. He moves his head to my shoulder, where I hear his sniffs as he shakes with me.

  I look at the screen, showing the grayish pictures, and I zealously point to it. “Our baby has a heartbeat!” I clutch onto Rod’s shoulders and stare at the still images, not really seeing anything, but appreciating the preciousness that is there.

  Ultimately knowing in my heart that I can’t fight this without losing my own life, I quietly beg in sullen resignation, “Don’t let them take my baby, Greg.”

  He whispers, “Hadley, I’m sorry. I wish I could stop them.”

  Dropping my hand to my stomach, I turn to gaze at the screen again. “I’m so sorry, my baby. Your mommy and daddy love you.” I believe Finn would have loved this baby, even if he had a fucked up way of loving me.

  I cry more and Rod lets me until I stutteringly whisper, “I-I want Finn here.”

  He nods over my shoulder. “I’ll get him here.” I know he will.

  The same orderly returns and looks apologetic that he’s intruding. Rod steeply inhales and wipes his eyes before stepping back.

  After being transferred to the gurney, I’m wheeled to a small holding area outside the emergency room.

  Rod unsteadily says, “Uh, I’m going to go see if Morgan talked to Wilder. I’ll bring him back if he’s already here, so he can be with you. Okay?”

  Facing the green and white curtain away from him, I quietly reply, “Okay.”

  What do I say to Finn? About the baby? About…us? I need him now, despite him burning me beyond recognition. Oddly, he might be the only one who can save me from this blistering wildfire of pain and grief.

  I’m given a clipboard of papers to sign. How do I sign my baby’s death warrant? I told Finn that if I were pregnant, the baby would be gone, like him, but I never meant for that to be true. Am I being punished for saying that? I would never willingly destroy our child. She’s a piece of Finn and me, lovingly interwoven together.

  The nurse pats my back as I cry and tells me she’s sorry, but all the sympathy in the world can’t change this and rescue my baby from her dire fate.

  My tears subside and I lie alone with the pervading pain through my body, and inside my heart.

  The sudden, metallic sliding of the curtains startles me, but I still can’t turn to look. I don’t know if I can face him yet. For a lot of reasons. He betrayed me; however, we also created a life. That will forever link us together, even if our baby is no longer with us. And once I look into Finn’s brown eyes, I’ll gaze into his soul, the soul that gave me part of his in so many ways, and I’ll know I’m still in love with him, in spite of everything that has happened.

  A hand goes on my arm and I abruptly break into tears. Fingers lightly squeeze my arm and I slowly shift onto my back, seeing Morgan. Trying hard to hide her own tears, she whispers, “Hey.”

  I sniff and she grabs my hand, patting it with her other. Rod stands behind her with a look on his face I’ve never seen on him before, not even when I told him Finn cheated on me. Finn…

  I look past Rod and try to peer around the curtain to the hallway. I croak, “Where is he?”

  Rod puts his fist to his mouth before turning away from me. I look to Morgan and she says, “Um, I tried calling him at work. A producer told me Finn up and quit last Friday.”

  “He did? Why?” I look to Rod, but he still has his back to me.

  Morgan says, “He took that job in Baltimore.”

  “When does he leave?” I need to see him before he… leaves. I can’t believe he’s leaving this soon; though, I’m not sure why I should expect him to stay if I told him I never want to see him again.

  No. That can’t happen.

  Morgan glances at Rod and then back at me. Nervously licking her lips, she says, “She said he started this week. He’s gone, Hadley.”

  “What?” I ask, unable to grasp what she said, however, realizing there’s a lot I can’t fathom as of late.

  I adamantly shake my head. “No. He wouldn’t just leave. He said he wouldn’t go without me.”

  “They officially announced his departure earlier at six. I tried calling you, but only got your voicemail.” Damn it. I missed the news by 15 minutes. She says, “They didn’t have his new personal contact information. I told the producer that it was an emergency involving his girlfriend Hadley in the hospital. She gave me the number to the station in Baltimore. I called there and they connected me to him since he was in his office. I told him you were pregnant and in the hospital.”

  “And?” I impatiently ask.

  Morgan looks down to the bed, biting her lip before quietly saying, “He denied he’s the father.”

  I shake my head again because that’s all I can do. “It is his! He knows that!”

  Her gaze still on the bed, she says, “I argued with him, but he still didn’t believe me. He said you two used birth control.”

  “But we…” I’m at a loss for words. He knows what we did together and what we didn’t use. How dare he claim anything different!

  I fume, “He thinks I cheated on him?”

&
nbsp; She nods and sniffs, looking up at me. I yell, “But I didn’t! It’s his baby! I never…!” My shoulders vigorously heave as I gasp for air. “This isn’t happening.” I try sitting up, but the stabbing pain assaults me and I lean forward, growling, “He wouldn’t have just left!” Running out of options, I edgily implore, “Greg, call Finn! I’ll talk to him!”

  He whisks his head to me. His face is a strange mix of anger and remorse. “I tried. He changed his phone number, Hadley.”

  Exasperated, Morgan asserts, “He left! He didn’t stay and fight for you!” She agitatedly swallows and angrily snarls, “He told me he’s focusing on his career like he should’ve in the first place! He’s on to bigger and better things and nothing will stand in his way this time!” She moves her hand to dry her cheek. Looking to the wall above me, she coldly states, “The bastard left. I’m so sorry. You’re better off without him.”

  Finn left. He left Richmond.

  He left…me.

  I snap, “Get him back here!”

  “He doesn’t want to be here!” Morgan wipes more tears and Rod mutters something at the wall as he indignantly crosses his arms. She says, “The asshole kissed Cara when you were in North Carolina!”

  The sting is like a smack in the face.

  I numbly ask, “What?” No, he couldn’t have. She saw someone else who looks like Finn Wilder. I look at Rod and he glances away from me. He is strangely quiet in all of this. Isn’t he going to argue with one of us?

  She holds onto my arm. “Jesus Christ. So, he didn’t tell you?” She sighs and peers down at the floor. “I saw them in a coffee shop. He kissed her. I don’t know how long they were carrying on their affair, but it most likely has been awhile.”

  “No! He said when I caught them, it was the only time with her! He swore he wasn’t lying!”

  “Do you honestly believe him? Come on!” She stomps her foot and tensely folds her arms. “He’s been lying to you for so long! You don’t know what’s the truth or a lie anymore!”

  She has me there.

  I hazily ask, “He was with Cara when he was accusing me of cheating on him?”

  She nods and grimly laughs. “Yeah. He was. You saw the proof. Damn it! I was right about him all along, Hadley! Will you believe me now?”

  My eyes fly back and forth from Rod to Morgan as the harsh reality strangles me. He apparently has been sleeping with Cara when he told me he wasn’t. He thinks I cheated on him and got pregnant by Rod? Never. Then, he took that job without even giving me a second thought. I was holding him back.

  My mind is gone, as is my baby, and my heart.

  Violently shaking with new sobs, I seize my stomach as Morgan puts her arm around me, crying with me from above. I’m losing our baby and now I totally lost Finn. Is this some kind of malicious joke? How can a shattered heart break any more than it already has? There will be nothing left but dust.

  Rod says something to me, but I can’t hear him over my howling.

  All of a sudden, an immense, overwhelming, slashing pain thrashes me. I curl my legs up and scream as I clamp onto Morgan’s arm.

  “Hadley!” I hear both Morgan and Rod.

  Morgan holds onto my shoulder and strokes my head, trying to calm me. I vaguely see Rod run out and hear him shouting.

  The pain is the most excruciating thing I’ve ever experienced—physical pain, that is. It feels like a chainsaw ripping me open. A line drive to the stomach? I’ll happily take a hundred of those in a row. I can’t even feel my legs.

  I rock and futilely try balling onto my side, but it’s impossible to move without the severe throbbing becoming worse. The agony is inescapable. Frantically sitting up, I grab onto Morgan again as I jarringly shriek from the hellish torture. Every move I make causes the pain to powerfully surge.

  Shit, if two of my worst nightmares aren’t coming true: the mountain of glass disemboweling me, and Finn leaving me to die after being slammed in the stomach with a softball.

  How fucking poetic.

  Somebody kill me. I want to die this second. Thankfully, dizziness embraces me and I collapse against the pillow as my cruel world mercifully goes black.

  CHAPTER 29

  MORGAN

  When I took Hadley to get her new phone, I also talked her into getting her apartment door’s lock rekeyed. I asked her if she’d be okay if Finn let himself in while she’s sleeping. She said no, so she made a call to her landlord and told him she thought her key was stolen by someone she knew. He actually arranged to have it changed that morning. We met the locksmith and when Hadley was distracted, I swiped the spare, needing it for my surprise I had planned.

  I leave Hadley’s office and head over to Rod’s. “Ready?” I impatiently ask him, searching the hallway to see if Hadley’s coming. Though, I doubt she’s going anywhere with the way she was staring out the window when I walked past her office to do a check on her a minute ago.

  He looks away from his computer and pushes his chair back. “Yep. Let’s hit it.” We quietly go to the elevator and out to the parking lot, where we each get into our cars and drive to my house. The plan is for him to leave his truck there so it’s not left in the lot until sometime Sunday night. It’s also to keep it out of Finn’s sight if he happens to show up. I want him to think Rod’s not at work even if he really isn’t, if that makes sense. I don’t want him to see Rod’s truck and try to get up to the office and possibly running into Val. She wouldn’t be able to lie to him like I can.

  I’m not going to deny it. Finn Wilder was in love with Hadley Beckett. Deeply in love. Any idiot could see it. Even Greg Rodwell did.

  Hadley wanted more from Finn. Surprising enough, sometimes I found myself siding with him instead of her. Finn wanted her to move in with him, but Hadley fought him the whole time. I admire her for standing up for her principles; however, she was also putting her relationship at risk. I didn’t know how long Finn would let her do that before he gave up on her. Yet, he didn’t, which impressed the fuck out of me, and he gained my respect for respecting her. He would occasionally press Hadley on it, but he never gave her an ultimatum. He loved her so much he dealt with it.

  Nevertheless, now he’s going to pay.

  Don’t get me wrong. I gave Finn a chance. In fact, I gave him plenty of chances with Hadley. He blew them all, you could say. Dick Rod and I argue over how we should handle the breakup situation. He wants to play matchmaker or be their advocate, despite the tiny detail that he’s also in love with Hadley. He’ll staunchly disagree if you ask him, or claim he’s over her, but he’s not. I won’t even torment him about his love for her. It’s sad, really. If Hadley had proposed to him after my wedding instead of Finn, Rod would have taken her to Vegas that night. No doubt in my mind. I’d rather see Hadley with him than Finn, actually. Greg Rodwell would do anything for her. He’d make a great husband and a father, and he’d never cheat on her. I will never admit it to his face, but I love that guy. I’ll take that to my grave, though.

  The problem with Rod’s stance is that he only wants to make the situation better for Hadley without Finn having to pay restitution for his crimes. Wilder needs to prove to Hadley that he’s worthy and he will be an improved man for her, the man she needs him to be. On the other hand, I know her. She won’t make him jump through any hoops. She’ll give him a month and then she’ll be back in his life and on his cock. When Hadley first started at the firm, they were about a month into dating. It did surprise me when she said she wanted to wait a couple months to have sex with him. I’ll admit, Finn Wilder is a hot son of a bitch. I couldn’t have waited like she did. Maybe she does have more restraint than I credit her as having. Though, it’s not the same this time, since she’s already been with him for three years and knows what she’s missing.

  When he kissed Cara, I was pissed. I admit that; however, not for the reason one would think. I was mad because when I confronted him, he didn’t think of it as much of a big deal. He didn’t understand that Cara most likely has a picture of
him parked next to her vibrator. Finn Wilder is one of those clueless males. He said he had no idea why he kissed Cara back. He just did.

  Stranger yet, I actually believed him.

  It was obvious when I saw him kiss Cara that it was a mindless act. It couldn’t touch the kisses I’ve seen him give Hadley. Those engaged him. Those had fire. Those had his heart. Even if it he was giving her a chaste kiss after lunch, he always put his heart into them, always having a sweet smile for his beautiful Becks.

  In spite of him not meaning to kiss Cara, I used this as an opportunity to teach him a lesson, so I cut him a deal. Marry my best friend or tell her he kissed Cara. If he couldn’t pick either, then I would tell her myself. Simple enough, or so you’d think. Matrimony or truth? This is Finn Wilder we’re talking about. Even I was skeptical he’d consider the marriage option, therefore, I expected him to tell Hadley the truth after the shit he pulled on live Air. Oh, I was definitely pushing for marriage, but you can’t force a blind man to see. So, at least he’d be telling her the truth, even at the risk of losing her, which if that happened, then Hadley was better off anyway. He was already playing a reckless game by not taking the vows. He owed her, either way.

  Although I had proposed him proposing, I knew Hadley was going to first. I figured he’d get a free spin, if you will. He could say yes to her, but that didn’t negate him not having to marry her soon after. I did take into consideration that he still might say no. That would leave him three weeks to propose to her or tell her the truth. I wasn’t going to tell her even if he said no. I was still going to give him the full month. I’m not cruel.

  However, when Rod dropped the cheating bombshell on me, I was stupefied, to say the least. Fucking livid. Finn had insistently maintained he wasn’t fucking Cara, so he lied to me, too. I was going to find Wilder and just as I had promised him at the nightclub, snap his dick like a twig.

  Even so, when Rod told me that Hadley said Wilder was crying, begging her to forgive him, to marry him, and claiming he thought they had broken up, I was actually astonished Finn would put on such a wretched public display of his intensely personal life. I mean, yes, he got a fucking tattoo for her, but I know this unrestricted exhibition with her in his front yard wasn’t exactly his idea of aiming the spotlight into his private business. Again, I thought about it and after a great amount of consideration, I think Finn truly made another gross error in judgment, and he’s sorely lamenting that. He’s a messed up man with a lot of fucked up shit going on in his head, but he comes off as a cool, cocky bastard. That’s his persona, what he wants the public to believe. Yet, he can’t fool his friends or family. Finn is tremendously insecure and in constant need for Hadley to stroke more than his cock. His ego needs a major overhaul. Finn Wilder is a complicated guy and I don’t understand him. More puzzling, I don’t know how Hadley does.