Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility)
Page 37
Oooh! He was being sarcastic and I felt a twinge of arrogance. I didn’t like that all too familiar attitude coming from a man who had done something for me that I couldn’t have done on my own. Like with Sebastian. I refused to get into debt with another man. I didn’t care how much Azmir earned, I was no damsel in distress whose dignity could be deeded out.
“Listen here; I am nobody’s charity case. Okay! I can take care of my own affairs without having Captain Save-Her paying off personal loans. I work for crying out loud. Did it ever occur to you that I could take care of this with the money I earn?”
“Sweetheart, no one said you couldn’t do it. You said you didn’t know how it would get done. It was no big deal. Trust,” he spoke in an even tone, resolving to calm. Azmir was always calm. He remained so smooth.
“It was ten grand! Oh excuse me…fifteen thanks to your interest!” My arms shot in the air. “Well, you may view that as chump change or petty cash you can blow at a poker table in Vegas but to the majority of the free world, that amount is significant!” I screamed.
He collapsed his head for a few seconds as if he were searching for the right words to say. “Listen, I am who I am and I don’t apologize for that. Yeah, maybe I have a little change but let’s not forget your boy the “Ped” isn’t exactly in dire straits either…not running his own practice and all. Ten grand ain’t no money to be harassing a woman over. Fuck that herb. He got his money. You got him off your back. End of story.”
I could tell his patience was wearing. The way that he put it about Sebastian just harassing me struck emotionally. It was exactly what I’d been feeling all along. The worst part about it was that I felt like I was back at square one, just with another man. I couldn’t afford to pay Azmir back the money and there was no way that I could just take it as a gift. Overwhelmed by the prospect, I burst into tears. I walked over to the corner of the small room facing the window mad as hell that I let him see me cry.
He walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I was too weak to remove it. I felt disoriented and emotionally exposed. The only person I’ve cried in front of in damn near ten years was Michelle. This Azmir Jacobs has had privy to me and parts of my life that were classified and I never shared with anyone. I felt like my back was up against the wall—literally and figuratively.
“I won’t be able to pay you back for a while,” I whimpered as I wiped my tears and tried to gather myself.
“Come on, baby, I’m not tripping off that money. I don’t want it back. I never paid it to him with the intention of you repaying me. If that were the case, we would have negotiated terms before I did it. It’s all good. My bad with this one. I see you aren’t the type of woman that wants to be taken care of. Excuse me as I’m still getting to know you,” Azmir spoke very earnestly. It was as sincere as I could believe; keeping in mind, I was still getting to know him, too. The tears continued to fall involuntarily as I remained facing the wall. I didn’t know how to follow that up.
After a few moments of silence I muttered, “I know you have a meeting to get to. Go on ahead. I’ll gather myself before heading back to my next appointment,” I used it as a means of releasing him.
He walked out of the room immediately. I didn’t know how to read that and therefore the tears continued to stream. Seconds later, he returned with a box of Kleenex and a bottle of water.
I felt him stand behind me for what seemed like hours but in reality were minutes. He seemed to have felt obligated to stay. I didn’t like that so I dismissed him by saying, “I know you have to go. I’ll be fine…just go ahead,” my words were served dry but I was just that angry.
“Look, Rayna—” he attempted.
“Just go—please,” I moaned trying to control my sobs. And with that, he left. I took a few minutes to gather my bearings and went back to my office.
When I entered, Sharon looked at me as if I had lost my mind.
“Ms. Brimm, your eleven a.m. has been waiting for nearly a half hour and your twelve thirty has arrived early. Is everything okay? Should I reschedule them?” Sharon asked sympathetically.
I couldn’t cancel my appointments because of my personal issues so I declined before apologizing for my lapse in professionalism. I always remembered I was a leader in the office and had to wear that hat no matter how bad my day was going.
###
Rayna and Azmir’s love journey to be continued…
Thank you sooooo much for taking a chance on this love story! I PROMISE it only gets better! Please join us in the sequel, Love UnExpected!
#I’mGonnaMakeYouLoveMe
You can find Love Belvin at www.LoveBelvin.com
or on Facebook - Author - Love Belvin
or on Twitter @LoveBelvin