Karen D. Badger - Yesterday Once More

by Karen D. Badger

  Kale saluted Jordan as he left the room.

  Chapter 11

  Early the next morning, a lab technician woke Jordan from a sound sleep to draw what she hoped would be the final blood sample. Not long after he left, she fell back to sleep, only to be wakened some time later by the scent of patchouli. As she opened her eyes, she expected to see Maggie sitting by her bedside. Instead, her eyes fell upon a very beautiful blonde. As her blurry vision cleared, she realized the woman was Andrea Ellis.

  Jordan ran her fingers through her disheveled hair. “Andrea! I didn’t expect to see you here. When I smelled patchouli, I thought you might be someone else.”

  “Please, call me Andi. Andrea is such a formal name. You like patchouli? It’s one of my favorite scents.”

  Jordan groped around until she found the remote control for the bed and adjusted her position. She looked at Andi’s slim, shapely legs, just slightly out of arm’s reach. Damn, she’s beautiful!

  Jordan looked around. “Is Kale with you?”

  “No. He’s in the middle of some critical tests on the implant. He asked me to drop this off.” Andi handed a diary to Jordan. “Apparently, he forgot it yesterday.”

  Jordan accepted the book. “Thanks for bringing it to me. I appreciate it.”

  “That’s a really old book. Kale said you found several volumes hidden between the wallboards of your house?”

  Jordan looked at the book in her hands. It was the next diary in the series. “Yes. I was doing some remodeling a couple of weeks ago, and when we tore down the sheetrock, I found them. Thanks again for bringing this to me.”

  “You’re welcome.” Andi rose to her feet and hesitated, a series of emotions playing across her face. Finally, she sat back down on the edge of the chair and looked at Jordan.

  “Jordan, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  Andi looked down at her hands and then back up at Jordan. “You and Kale live together, right?”

  Jordan could see where this was going. “Yes we do, but—”

  Andi interrupted her. “Do you love him?”

  Jordan cocked her head to one side. “I love him very much. He’s a wonderful man.”

  Andrea looked down at her hands again. “I see,” she said softly, standing to leave. “I guess I should get back to the lab.”

  “Andi, come back, please.”

  Andrea stopped and turned around.

  “Please, sit. You need to know something about Kale and me.” Andi hesitated. “Please.” Jordan waited until Andi returned to her seat.

  “I’m listening.”

  Jordan ran her hand through her hair. “Kale and I are just friends. I know how lame that sounds, but it’s true. I’m going to tell you something that I don’t normally share, because no one really needs to know something this personal about me.”

  Andi leaned forward. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”

  “No, I don’t, but I really love Kale, and I happen to know he’s quite smitten with you. I’ll be damned if I’m going to do anything to ruin it for him.”

  Andi smiled. “He’s smitten with me?”

  “Like a schoolboy. Anyhow, you need to know that even though Kale and I have lived together for four years, we haven’t been together. We’ve been housemates, pure and simple.”

  Andi frowned. “Don’t you find him attractive?”

  Jordan grinned. “Kale is very cute. No, he’s more than cute. He’s a very good-looking man, even though he doesn’t know how to comb his hair.” Andi laughed and nodded in agreement. Jordan paused to collect her thoughts. “Look, Andi, Kale is great. He can cook, he doesn’t mind housework, he’s extremely intelligent, and he is a wonderfully nice, loyal, considerate person, but to be honest, I find you much more attractive than I do him.” Jordan fell silent as she waited for Andi’s reaction.

  Please don’t tell me you’re a dumb blonde. I don’t want to have to spell it out for you. Suddenly, Andi’s eyebrows shot up. One hand flew to her mouth to hide her surprise. Okay, you’ve got it. Good girl. Come on, you can say it.

  Andi rose to her feet and walked across the room. Then she turned to look at Jordan. “Are you telling me that you’re gay?”

  “Queer as they come, through and through.”

  Andi sat back in her chair and stared at Jordan, who began to feel uneasy under the scrutiny. “You’re making me nervous.”

  Andi smiled. “I can see why Kale likes you. You’re very funny.”

  “Oh yeah, I’m a barrel of laughs.” Jordan paused. “Andi, what I just told you is very personal for me. A select few know. Kale and Peter, and now you. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it—and heaven knows, the need to be in the closet ended about fifty years ago, but this is a very sacred thing for me. I don’t broadcast it to the world any more than a heterosexual person would. Does that make sense?”

  “I understand. Really, I do. Please don’t worry. As you said, it’s your personal business. I’m honored that you shared it with me.”

  “I just don’t want Kale to be hurt because of a misconception. He deserves so much more.”

  Andi smiled. “He seems like a very nice man.”

  “They don’t get any better than Kale. The woman who wins his heart will be very, very lucky.”

  * * *

  After Andi left, Jordan contemplated the sparse furnishings of her hospital room. She missed the comfort of her home. She longed to be in front of the fireplace, enjoying the warmth as the wind and snow raged outside. She found herself wondering if Maggie enjoyed such comforts on cold winter days. A chill ran through her as she realized that she and Maggie had actually shared the same physical space, albeit at different times in history. Jordan closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to spend such intimate moments with her dream lover.

  Jordan stood at the kitchen table and poured merlot into two long-stemmed glasses. Setting the bottle aside, she picked up the glasses and made her way into the living room, lit only by firelight. She paused just inside the room for a moment to allow her eyes to adjust to the dim light. Then she walked carefully to the pile of blankets and pillows that were scattered on the floor in front of the fireplace. Outside, the snow gently fell, covering the earth in a blanket of white.

  She stopped at the edge of the pillows and handed a glass of wine to the woman lying on them. “Thank you, my love,” Maggie said as she accepted the glass and brought it to her lips. Jordan gently lowered herself into a semi-reclining position next to Maggie.

  Propped up on one elbow, Jordan sipped her wine as she admired the beauty of the woman lying beside her. Maggie was of medium height, with long, slender limbs and a tiny waist. She wore faded low-cut denim jeans and a short-waisted turtleneck sweater, which framed her face like a Victorian lace collar. A mass of unruly, curly red hair cascaded over her shoulders. Jordan couldn’t look away as she watched Maggie sip her wine, then run her tongue over the rim of the glass to capture a drop that threatened to escape. A shiver of anticipation ran through her.

  Maggie looked at her. “Are you cold?” she asked.

  Jordan smiled and transferred her wine glass to the other hand then reached forward and traced the side of Maggie’s face with her fingertips. “No. I was just imagining making love to you.”

  Maggie smiled, and Jordan’s insides melted. “My God, you are beautiful.” Maggie turned her eyes away to sip her wine while Jordan admired her creamy white skin, tinged pink by the heat of the fire. Maggie placed her glass on the hearth. She then took Jordan’s wine from her and placed it beside her own. Jordan’s breath caught in her throat as she anticipated Maggie’s next move.

  Maggie placed her hand on Jordan’s shoulder and gently pressed her back into the pillows. She leaned over her and lowered her mouth to Jordan’s, delicately tracing Jordan’s lips with her tongue. Jordan shivered once more as their tongues intertwined. They shared the sweet taste of wine as they savored each other’s mouths for several long moments.

 
Jordan caught Maggie’s face between her hands. “I love you,” she whispered huskily.

  “I love you too, dear heart,” Maggie replied. “Let me show you how much.”

  Jordan was helpless to resist as she granted permission with a nod, releasing her hold on Maggie’s face and allowing her hands to fall to the pillows. She waited patiently as Maggie drank deeply from her wine then set the glass aside once more. Jordan’s patience was rewarded when Maggie leaned forward and transferred the mahogany liquid into her mouth.

  For what seemed like an eternity, Maggie explored Jordan’s mouth with her tongue, flitting in and around its moist depths, and thrusting deeply. Jordan could feel the dampness between her legs increase with each probing thrust of Maggie’s tongue. The pungent taste of merlot accented the kiss with intoxicating results.

  Jordan’s desire raged out of control as her hands flew up to grasp Maggie’s bottom. She kneaded the supple flesh until she could feel the heat directly through Maggie’s jeans.

  Maggie pushed herself to a seated position so that she straddled Jordan’s waist. She reached up and grasped Jordan’s wrists, pushing her hands above her head and into the pillows. Maggie lowered her face to Jordan’s and whispered softly, “No, no, my love. No hands. Just relax and enjoy this.”

  Jordan fought with herself to keep her hands off her lover as Maggie sat up once more and removed her sweater. Beneath the sweater, she wore a black lace bra which afforded Jordan an up close view of her ample cleavage.

  Maggie threw the sweater aside and leaned closer to Jordan. “Do you like what you see, lover?” she teased.

  Jordan nodded and allowed the truth to show in her eyes. She couldn’t speak.

  “Good,” Maggie replied. “Now it’s your turn.” Her hands snaked under Jordan’s shirt and pushed it up and over her head. Jordan’s sports bra quickly followed suit. “You are so beautiful,” Maggie whispered as she traced the outline of Jordan’s breasts with her fingertips. Maggie leaned in and captured first one, then the other erect nipple between her teeth and flicked the sensitive buds with the tip of her tongue. Jordan’s chest arched high off the pillows as she thrust her breasts closer to Maggie, silently demanding more.

  Maggie’s eyes met Jordan’s. “I want to taste you. I want to fill you, body and soul. I want to make you cry out my name when the passion becomes too much.”

  Jordan could feel spasms of delight clench at her abdomen and contract in her core as the anticipation of what was to come caused her desire to mount to near explosive levels. “Maggie, please—I need you,” Jordan begged.

  Maggie smiled as she pushed Jordan’s legs to one side and knelt on the pillows beside them. Without breaking eye contact, she reached forward and opened the front of Jordan’s jeans. Carefully, she pulled the rough material down over her lover’s hips and removed the garment. The jeans soon joined Jordan’s shirt and bra in a heap beside the pillows.

  Maggie returned to Jordan’s breasts and suckled their erect buds, eliciting delightful moans from deep within Jordan’s throat. She then moved very slowly down Jordan’s abdomen, leaving a delicate trail of kisses and nibbles along the way. Her tongue dipped into Jordan’s navel, causing Jordan to squirm as a spasm of desire jolted her core.

  Maggie reached inside the waistband of Jordan’s panties. She allowed two fingers to slide between the folds, while her palm cupped Jordan’s mound. When her fingers encountered the abundant moisture between Jordan’s legs, her own body convulsed and she dropped her head to Jordan’s abdomen. “Oh, my God, baby… you’re so wet. Is this for me?” she asked.

  “Only for you, my love. Only for you,” Jordan replied.

  Jordan bolted awake and sat upright in her hospital bed. As her breathing returned to normal, she covered her face with her hands and tried to control her raging emotions. I must have fallen asleep. Oh, my God! I’m in love with her. I love her! Tears spilled from her eyes as she felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness and despair. What am I going to do? Maggie, why? Why is fate so cruel?

  * * *

  Peter Michaels made his rounds before lunch. When he reached Jordan’s room, he found her sitting in bed staring at a blank holovision. It was obvious that she had been crying. She barely acknowledged him when he entered the room. Peter sat on the edge of her bed and took her pulse. “How are you feeling?” he asked as he looked at his watch.

  Jordan dragged her eyes from the blank screen to Peter’s face. “Fine.”

  Peter raised his eyebrows. “Just fine? Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  Peter continued his exam in silence. When he finished, he wrapped his stethoscope around his neck and stood up, looking at Jordan for a few moments. It was obvious to him that she was troubled. “Your tests came back normal, so it looks like we’ll start the pre-implant workup now. If there are no additional issues, the surgery will be tomorrow night.”

  Jordan nodded, but said nothing. Peter was confused by her behavior, as she had been so upbeat the last time he’d seen her. He didn’t want to leave her alone in such obvious emotional pain. He placed his hands on either side of her reclining torso. “Jordan, I don’t know what’s bothering you, but your emotional health plays a critical part in your recovery. If you can’t talk to me about it, then you need to find someone with whom you can talk.”

  Jordan turned her face to meet Peter’s eyes. Tears spilled onto her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Peter. It isn’t you. It’s just something I need to come to terms with.”

  Peter sat on the edge of the bed and retrieved a tissue from the box on her bedside table. He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You know I’m here for you, right?”

  Jordan nodded. She took the tissue from Peter and blew her nose. She tried to smile through her tears. “Thanks. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

  Peter patted her hand and returned her smile. “All right. I’ll be back tomorrow morning, but if you need me before then, don’t hesitate to have me paged, okay?”

  “I will. Thank you, Peter—for everything.”

  Peter stood. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  No sooner had Peter left the room than Kale walked in. The excitement was evident on his face. “Hey Jord!” he said, parking himself on the edge of her bed. His enthusiasm quickly faded as he looked at Jordan’s red, puffy eyes. “Jordan?”

  She found it impossible to hold it together under Kale’s scrutiny. She began to sob. Kale held her close and rubbed her back. She rested her head on Kale’s shoulder until the sobbing subsided. Kale looked into her anguish-filled eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  Her bottom lip quivered as she tried desperately not to cry. “Why am I so hopeless?”

  “You’re anything but hopeless.”

  Jordan wiped her nose. “No, no, I’m hopeless.” She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing. “I love her. I’m actually in love with her.”

  Kale frowned. “Who are you in love with?”

  Jordan studied the damp tissue in her hands and indirectly answered his question through her prolonged silence.

  Kale threw his hands up in an exasperated motion and rose to his feet. “Oh, for crying out loud. Please don’t tell me it’s Maggie.”

  Jordan looked everywhere but at Kale. Her hands became animated and the tears flowed as she spoke. “I didn’t ask for this. Believe me, this is one heartache I could live without.”

  She watched Kale walk to the window and look out over the city. There was a decided slump to his shoulders.

  “I can’t help myself, Kale. It’s like she’s reaching out to me from the past. I’ve been having dreams about her. In one dream, she left me a letter the morning she died. In it, she said that she loved me. I came so close to saving her; so close that she died in my arms. It ripped my heart from my chest. I find myself thinking about her day and night. She’s become a part of my life.” Jordan sobbed. “Oh, God! I don’t know what to do. My heart is shattered. I can har
dly bear it.”

  With his back still to Jordan, Kale reached up and wiped the moisture from the corners of his eyes. When his emotions were under control, he returned to her bedside. “I’ve got you, Jord. Please don’t cry.”

  “I want to die.”

  Kale was startled by her words. He pushed her back roughly. “What the hell are you saying?”

  “I need to be with her. I don’t see any other way.”

  Kale was never so angry in his life. He leaned in close. “I will not allow you to die. That’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

  “But—”

  He jumped to his feet. “But nothing,” he shouted. He grasped the sides of his head in an attempt to calm his temper. This was a side of him that Kale had never shown Jordan. Finally, he dropped his hands to his sides and sighed deeply in defeat. “Okay, you win.”

  “I win? I don’t see any way to win at this one.”

  Kale sat on the edge of Jordan’s bed and dropped his chin to his chest. He remained in this position until he’d collected his thoughts. Either way, I’ll lose her. This is a no-win situation. He looked at Jordan. “I’ll help you. It’s against my better judgment, but I’ll help you.”

  Jordan looked confused. “How?

  “The time machine.”

  Jordan’s hands flew to her mouth. “But, but you said no. You said—”

  “I said it was too risky, and it is. It still doesn’t work.” Kale was once more on his feet. He walked to the foot of her bed and turned to face her, his hands spread wide. “Look, there’s a lot of work to do. It scares the shit out of me to think about sending a human subject into the past when I can’t even send an inanimate object. It’s extremely risky.”

  Jordan wiped her tears with the edge of her bed sheet. “I’m willing to accept the risk. I don’t know how to explain it to you. I love her enough to risk dying to reach her.”